Regardless of the north and the south, the weather is really cold recently!
In such a cold weather, can you imagine that Chengcheng (a pseudonym), a 10-year-old boy in Shanghai, was thrown at the train station by his father because he didn't do his homework, "begging and reflecting"?
Recently, a passenger reported to the police that there was a boy wearing only a jacket on the square of the Shanghai Railway Station, kneeling on the ground alone and begging, and there was a schoolbag beside him. The police rushed to the scene as soon as possible and brought back the child begging in the cold night. Police station.
According to the child’s dictation, he was complained by the teacher because he did not do his homework. The father personally threw him to the train station while his mother was sleeping to beg for reflection.
Originally, Chengcheng was rather naughty, often not doing homework, and received many complaints from teachers. This time, Chengcheng's father had no other choice but to let the child understand that if he didn't study well, he had to beg for food, so he threw him to the train station.
Although the boy’s parents’ starting point is to educate their children, from a rational point of view, the educational method of "begging along the street" is indeed improper.
First of all, the behavior of parents affects public order. Secondly, it is illegal to force children to beg and kneel. In addition, the way of punishing kneeling on the street not only harms the child's health, but also affects the child psychologically.
Children must be punished if they make mistakes, but how? How to grasp the methods and methods? Many parents choose the same "violent education" as Chengcheng's parents when they become angry. It is really undesirable.
Children also have self-esteem
If you want your child to admit mistakes, the premise is to make him understand: mistakes are not terrible, mistakes are not terrible, and corrections are not terrible. Only by letting children agree with these "not terrible" can they take the first step towards correction.
However, too many parents only pay attention to letting their children realize the terrible error and choose to punish them in public like Chengcheng's father. This kind of news is not uncommon in recent years.
At the gate of an elementary school, a little boy was found to have done his homework by cheating his father and was fined kneeling on the ground to do his homework; a boy was punished by being tied to a motorcycle and dragged by his mother for taking 2,000 yuan...
The punishment is very effective. Children usually admit their mistakes, but is this confession convincing?
no! This is the psychological shame that a child produces under public humiliation.
You must know that even though a child is young, he also has his own dignity.
This kind of public education is very likely to make children feel that they have no self-esteem, resulting in inferiority, anxiety and even rebellion. To a certain extent, this punishment has surpassed the right or wrong of the event itself and has become a kind of psychological harm.
children are the reproduction of their parents
usually grow up in domestic violence families. On the one hand, they endure violence, and on the other hand, they are also learning to believe in the power of violence and affect their social style.
In "The Metamorphosis", there is a very violent and rebellious boy Liang Jiaming. Even if the family environment is superior, the solution that little Liang Jiaming learned from an early age is to use violence to control violence, and this kind of treatment has made an amazing repetition in their home. Grandpa beats his father and father beats his son.
Since he was 8 years old, he has never sat down and chatted with his parents, not to mention eating at a dinner table, and even his father must lock the door at night when he sleeps, for fear of his son rushing in and attacking him! The
program group tried to resolve the conflict between the two, but Liang Jiaming chose to reconcile by letting his father kneel down.
How we treat our children, and how our children will treat us and others.
Empathy is very important.
education must follow the child’s growth law and understand children’s psychology. The
"Guide to Quality Parenting" wrote:
children seem to make mistakes, but in fact, it is the result of their self-exploration.
or want to satisfy their short-term desires and needs.
Our children grow up from mistakes, mistakes are not terrible, this is notOnly children should understand, and parents should also keep it in mind.
When a child makes a mistake, our first reaction is not to scold the child.
needs to squat down and ask the child, what happened just now?
What is his true thoughts? What does he want to express?
is like the opening chapter. Chengcheng doesn't love learning and doesn't do homework. Parents just want to use "begging" to let their children understand the importance of learning, but they have never thought about whether there are other hidden reasons behind their children's dislike of learning.
Maybe he wants his parents to pay more attention to him, maybe he thinks class is boring, maybe he meets classmates and teachers he doesn't like in school, maybe he feels that he has no sense of accomplishment in his studies, maybe he doesn't know how to learn, maybe he doesn't adapt to the new Courses...the reasons behind these are worthy of digging into parents.
and our parents sometimes have no time to take care of themselves when they are busy at work. Faced with children’s non-cooperation, they choose to reprimand or even beat and scold, or Tang monk-style nagging and urging, or negative counting and comparison...
How can children fall in love with learning in a parent-child environment? How annoying to study.
Therefore, our parents might as well try to think from the perspective of their children and reflect on the causes behind them.
Parents must empathize, and children must also.
In the process of guiding the child to admit his mistakes, he must tell the child what kind of negative impact his mistake will bring to others, and let the child think more from the perspective of the "victim" in order to induce the child to apologize from the heart.
