, I saw a news that people and gods were angry:
, the parents of the fourth grade students of Shenzhen No. 1 Primary School, jointly signed and asked the school to dismiss a boy. what is the reason? You may not believe it. The boy
often loses his temper for no reason. Of the 47 students in the class, 45 students have been beaten.
and judging from the wounds of the child who was beaten, it can be said that the trick is fatal, leaving no room for it:
some children have a ballpoint pen stuck in their heads, and the blood flow continues;
some children's eyes are swollen Bleeding;
and the back of the head are directly stitched...
Looking at the children's wounds that are still oozing blood, the mother team feels their skin and flesh trembling.
can't imagine, how much hatred and vicious heart is needed to get this vicious hand?
And when the parents of the beaten child asked the father of the beaten boy for an explanation, the father replied calmly: "It's all a little bump between children!"
But, who have you seen? The family slapped all the classmates in the hospital? As a father,
not only does not take responsibility, but also thinks that the child beating is understandable, which is really sad!
If the child beating is not taken seriously, I cannot imagine what more extraordinary things the child will do in the future?
Speaking of the child beating incident, it reminds me of the fact that my girlfriend once told his son:
"I am most afraid of visiting guests at home, especially children. My son will always play and fight with others...
Once, at the moment I turned around to greet the guest, he gave the little sister next door a sacred palm of Xuan Ming! In front of the guest, I was so embarrassed that I even disliked him for his lack of education.
When you go to the amusement park, everyone else is going to play, but he seems to be practicing boxing!" From
, it is not an exception that children love to beat others.
But have you ever thought about what happened to these children who love to hit people? Well, why do they like hitting people?
Children love to beat people. The subtext is: "Mom, I'm afraid!"
Bao Beier recalled his only experience of beating his daughter in the show:
"The amusement park has closed, and she wants to continue playing. Auntie wants to hug her. Leaving, I didn't expect that she actually slapped her aunt in the face, and I slapped my daughter within a second."
Bao Beier wanted to tell his daughter that it was wrong to hit someone through this slap.
Although it is wrong for the child to hit someone, think about it carefully, did the child hit someone on purpose?
Bao Beier’s daughter was beating people, isn’t it because the child was born to love to play, and when she was excited to interrupt her, the child’s emotions would definitely become extremely anxious and dissatisfied.
However, her language skills are limited, and she can speak very little.
and body language is the most convenient and easiest to express, so she will subconsciously raise her hand and hit someone to express her dissatisfaction!
It is not uncommon for children to use body language to communicate due to insufficient expression skills:
wants to get mother’s attention and "pats" mother’s face when raising his hand;
is robbed of toys by children and does not want to give them , So he "push" the child away;
hopes that through some violent behavior, parents will pay attention to themselves...
But these behaviors, is it because the child is conveying a certain "language"?
The children did not intend to attack deliberately at this time, but no one taught them the correct way of expression.
Therefore, when you see a child "beating someone", you will make a conclusion on the child and go to , and feel that the child is making trouble unreasonably, which is actually a misunderstanding of the child!
German educator Herbart said: children need love, especially whenWhen the child is not worthy of love.
Every child who gets angry, it seems that behind it for no reason, there must be a certain purpose or appeal. If
does not understand the child, but blindly accuses it, it will only make the child feel that their feelings have been ignored, and even think that their parents do not love themselves at all!
will then become more hysterical, and want to vent his dissatisfaction in this way!
The beating behavior itself is wrong, but if the child’s starting point is not wrong, he cannot be blamed blindly, right?
The beating behavior of children did not cause parents to pay attention to
. Not only may it be because the parents did not understand the language of the child's physical development, but it may also be because some parents spoil the child too much.
The ancients said: A habitual son is like a murderer, and a spoiled son is a wicked son! The meaning of
is to spoil the child too much, even if the child beats others, he is not willing to discipline. In the end, it is the child who suffers and even the parents suffer!
may not be intuitive to say so. Let’s take a look at the following example:
, a 6-year-old boy, behaves very irritably and hits at every turn:
scares the child with a kitchen knife and scissors, and pushes or hits the child at every turn
stretched the slingshot, aimed at her mother’s eyes, and chased her to pee on her;
lived on the 26th floor, and often climbed to the window sill to "expedition"...
At first, I wondered why a boy who was only 6 years old , The temper will be so big?
But after reading his mother’s method of disciplining the child, I finally understood:
the child hits and throws things, let him vent until he stops;
the child climbs on the window sill to threaten the adult, the mother said, "Hurry down, I Give you mobile phone to play";
the child is angry with his mother, the mother will even tickle the child until the child stops the beating with a smile; behind the
child's grumpy beating, it’s not because his parents let them go. Indulge?
Although the child has violence, the parents never stop it.
is just this little bit of compromise and indulgence from the parents that fuels the child's arrogance and develops the indiscriminate habit of beating people.
No child becomes a devil at once. Behind every devil's behavior, it must be the parents' indulgence and pampering again and again!
This reminds the mom team that when I was a child, I was loved by adults, and I was never willing to beat and scold me, especially my grandfather.
I remember one time my family went to a scenic spot. I had to ask for a doll. My parents refused to buy it. So I played around and even started playing with them. When grandpa
saw that I was unhappy, he pleaded distressedly: "It's not expensive, why can't I buy one! I buy it for my baby!"
Originally, my parents had nothing to do with my slaps, and when I heard my grandpa came out to "protect shortcomings" ", I can only compromise...
, under the "favoring" of the whole family, my personality has become particularly irritable, and a bit lawless.
But you have to know the fact that when a child hits someone, you don't care about teaching the child, sooner or later someone will take care of you!
There are too many live examples in this world:
was stepped on by someone else, and immediately fought with someone, and finally broke his blood;
was quarrelsome because of playing games, but the other party was also very irritable, and finally ruined his own. Life;
broke the logos of more than a dozen cars in the community, and eventually the whole family was indebted to compensate, and even the community could not live anymore...
So, don’t use loving children as an excuse to be spoiled, and treat your children in good faith. By the way, selective ignorance of the children's mistakes will only cause the children to be unable to distinguish right from wrong, and ultimately harm others and themselves!
can go backAt first, how many parents would hope that their love will ruin their children, rather than make them better and better?
Don’t let your behavior corrupt the child’s innocence.
American parent-child expert Rona Reiner said: kids are the monitors of adults. They watch you day and night and learn from your every move.
Every word and deed of parents affects their children, even if you don't teach them.
One day, when children grow up and become parents, they will unconsciously become "parents".
In "The Metamorphosis", there is a very violent and rebellious 14-year-old boy Liang Jiaming. The reason for Jiaming's current violence is genetic violence! Grandpa beats father, father beats son!
Now, the son learns to beat his father!
's constant beating and scolding in childhood has caused Jiaming to "reproduce" his father's irritable character. If his father doesn't listen to anything, he will provoke him to smash his fist on his father...
8 years old After that, I never sat down and chatted with my parents, and even when my father went to bed at night, he had to lock the door tightly for fear that his son would rush in and attack him.
Perhaps, you think this kind of example is too extreme, but the reproduction of violent behavior often affects children subtly.
This reminds me of a thought-provoking story shared by a netizen on Zhihu:
“When I was a child, every time my mother quarreled with my father, my mother would immediately explode and throw things at home.
didn’t expect it, she lost her temper and smashed things. The bad habit has been passed on to me.
When I was growing up, I used the same way to vent my emotions, but in the end I hit my head and broke the blood. I knew that this kind of behavior was bad, but I still couldn’t control the mess One pass..." The reason why
wants to share this story with you is because in real life, I have also seen too many parents doing wrong "demonstrations" to their children:
Violence control, when you always talk about "snatch it back and fight back", when you aim your fist at your partner...
But have you ever thought about it?
is exactly this violent behavior, which slowly corrodes the integrity of the child's heart, and teaches the child to speak with his fist?
What should I do when a child hits someone?
When a child has a violent behavior, rude intervention or neglect will have a bad influence on the child's behavior.
Therefore, how to guide correctly is particularly important. You may wish to do this:
1, "non-violent communication" method:
was proposed by communication expert Marshall Luxembourg. The method that can quickly unfreeze the contradictions between them can also be used. Parenting:
Step 1: Stop the child in a timely and serious manner:
"You can be angry, but you can't hit someone!"
"I don't like this, it's not right, you should change it!"
Every time a child makes a mistake, the parent After finding out, you must stop it in time, and clearly tell the child that this behavior is wrong. Establish a clear view of right and wrong for children.
Step 2: Accept the child’s emotions and listen to the reason:
"You take a deep breath for 20 seconds, think about why you are angry, and then tell your mother, mother slowly listen to you, okay?"
"I know you are sad, yes Because your mother is not by your side, you were scared for a while, right?”
First listen to why your child is angry. While the child expresses the reason for his anger through words, he also helps him sort out his inner emotions.
Step 3: Tell the child what to do:
"Next time you are scared, you can run away and call me over, okay?"
Through continuous corrections like this, the child will naturally understand how to stop being rude Use fists instead of words to communicate.
2, cultivating childrenQingli
once huh lost his temper and threw the toy heavily on the ground.
Huo Siyan was a little annoyed, but she did not scold him, but told him seriously: "You are not doing it right. If mother steps on it, it will hurt."
said, she took the toy and demonstrated it on her feet, "Does it hurt?" It hurts when mom steps on it." A small gesture of
, without yelling or yelling, immediately made Uh-huh realize that he had done something wrong and also understood how mom felt. Under the leadership of Huo Siyan,
has high empathy and knows how to care about the feelings of others and take care of others.
, for example, take the initiative to help mother with housework.
When taking the cat for a checkup, don’t forget to bring some candy to the doctor.
At a young age, we know that ladies are first.
When children are young, they think that everyone feels the same as themselves, and everything is self-centered.
Only from the perspective of the child and let the child think about the feelings of others in a different position, can the child's empathy be gradually improved, and the feelings of others should be considered when making actions.
Every child is born with a blank sheet of paper. Whether the child has a correct view of right and wrong depends on whether the parent has a firm and clear attitude.
Don't want a child to be a little devil, it will test the parents' educational skills, what do you think?
