From the beginning of the film "In the Name of Family", it attracted a lot of attention with some sad, but optimistic and delicate family portraits.
Recently, this TV series ushered in the grand finale, and it is also a happy reunion. But looking back, as a family drama, I suddenly found that the mothers in this drama are completely negative, and no mother is reliable.
Tang Can's mother: Vanity, face-loving, always regard these external things as more important than the inner happiness of the daughter.
Lingxiao’s mother Chen Ting: Terrible morbid control and hysteria. In fact, she is also a poor person in her bones. Her husband could not take care of the family for many years, and the youngest daughter died accidentally; the second husband passed away in a car accident. Facing the impermanence of life, she herself was helpless and unable to deal with various situations well, so she finally left the mess and went away. She lives in the fear of being abandoned and disgusted, so she must hold on to the straw of her children. The lack of security and personality defects made her only see the surface problems.
Moon Mom: I keep my home in order and cover all kinds of affairs. For a long time, I have been accustomed to strong management and control of my children, from choosing a career to choosing a spouse. I thought that my family and my father and daughter were everything to me, but in the end I was disgusted and abandoned by the two parties. It is conceivable how frustrated and painful it was at the moment the belief that oneself depended on was broken!
Although these superb moms are impressive, in general, the character settings of these mothers in the play cannot get rid of the singular shortcomings of the screenwriters. In order to create conflicts, TV shows often will Pushing the characters to an extreme ————- attracted the attention and highlighted the curse, but after cursing, it was discovered that these characters lacked the most basic authenticity and the complexity of being a mother. For the conflict of the plot, in order to arouse the appetite of the audience, all the mothers in the play are cast to be scornful, and they try their best to show their bad and sad side. And for human nature, especially for a complex role like mother, how can it be so simple and pure, how can it be bad or bad, without a warm side? In other words, as mothers, when they persecute and control their children, how can their children always bear the burden blindly? Between each other, especially the mother, haven't had any struggle or entanglement for decades? Even if art comes from life, this kind of shaping of mothers is actually totally unobjective.
The vast majority of mothers in real life are not like this.
because the real mother role is a complex and multi-faceted role. From a girl to a mother, she has to undergo tremendous changes physically and psychologically. Because of the nature of mammals, it is impossible for her to not love her children. Public opinion often promotes the image of mother to the altar, encourages mother, praises mother, and sings praise to mother. But few people see the burnout and loneliness of their mothers, the series of challenges brought about by raising a new life, and the invisible pressure of society. In fact, becoming a mother means that she has more things to worry about: the direction of marriage, the growth of children in all aspects, and the changes in her body (have to admit that women are more controlled by years than men), And its own development and so on.
Even if it has entered modern society, the roles of wife and mother are easily acquiesced by members of the “public” and “family” as voluntary labor. What's wrong with the child, the mother is often the first to be questioned. "Why is your child so thin, why is your child so strenuous?" All the questions surrounding the child, in fact, from the mother's point of view, are directed towards herself. Becoming a mother has natural pressure. And this pressure is not known to most people. Motherhood should not allow the slightest respite and omission. If you can get help, it’s okay. If you can’t, then the mother’s suffering will be ignored. For a long time, if the mother herself does not have internal customs and introspection, she has not been able to detect or adjust in time, this will suppress her personality. Twisted words, and eventually worked hard for the family for her husband and children, but met with rejection.
sad? this is the truth. Look at the mothers who are holding their babies in postpartum depression and end their lives. Look at the yelling and controlling mothers. Behind their extremes and strengths, they are really helpless. This kind of helplessness has not been seen for a long time. Into an extreme event in reality.
There is no born mother in the world. Everyone who becomes a mother lives in the reality of his own life and isIn the long process, in countless doubts about myself, I moved forward with difficulty. Becoming a mother, the predicament of life goal setting, the construction of intimacy, and the continuation of self-education are all these issues. Some people are lucky to be born with this wisdom, or their children receive assistance and support as soon as they are born. Going smoothly as a mother. But most people still need to move forward in pain and constant bumps.
Because of the conflict between mother's nature and reality, most mothers cross the river by touching the stones on the edge of love and control, walking tired and hard in the trivialities of reality. These countless fragments, these seemingly contradictory events, constitute the true mother. Therefore, when the family relationship is split, there are also concerns. That is why the mother and daughter of the moon in the play put their hearts together, and the mother of the moon slaps herself in the face. However, this slap was like slapped all women who became mothers. This slap reminds all mothers: Before becoming a mother, please be yourself! Although Moon has been fighting against her mother, she has seen her mother really give. The moon's parents finally divorced, and the moon stood up and said justice: Both parties are responsible for this result. In the final outcome, the mother should not be alone. This plot is more objective and delicate. However, the complex and multi-faceted shaping of other mothers in the play is not enough. So the biggest regret of the series: the mother role in it is single and facial.
Let's watch the episode again, and the finale is even more abrupt and hasty:
Several major mother roles came to light in the last episode, and collectively whitewashed, like an airplane suddenly dived from 30,000 feet to the ground. This hard landing was really hard. Chen Ting, in particular, changed a person completely after waking up from the hospital bed. This change was too fast. Moon mothers were better off. After all, she had a lot of heart-to-heart with her daughter. They saw each other's situation. Only afterwards were accepted and transformed.
In fact, the drama "In the Name of Family" also embodies the helplessness of Chinese family affection.
This is not to say who is right and who is wrong, but in a long-term environment shaped by cultural values, Chinese parents have the habit and tradition of working for their children for a lifetime. They are used to the roles of parents and children, managers and The relationship between the supervised people always imposes what they take for granted on their children. It is difficult for them to respect their children as an independent person and soul. They are also mortal fetuses. They project their anxiety about the future onto their children, so they tend to pay more attention to external indicators such as scores, career income, etc., and are more likely to ignore the children's inner feelings and multi-dimensional growth.
Later, children grew older and they had independent thoughts and consciousness. They no longer obeyed their parents. Parents lost control of their children, and their children gradually grew into independent people. They need to adapt just like children. There are no parents who do not make mistakes. Parents also struggle to introspect and seek change in conflicts, but this process is destined to be tortuous and long-term.
Family affection and love do not necessarily understand each other, so the closest people are more likely to hurt each other, and the biggest reason for hurting each other is that they can’t see each other’s situation, and then act on their own inertial tracks. When the injury has already been done, it hurts. Fortunately, the injury happened, but they soon saw each other and stopped or reduced the injury; while some repeated it again and again, waiting until the result of the injury was irreversible, and even caused a tragic ending, before they came to their senses. . Fortunately, the TV series "In the Name of Family" finally gave everyone a comfort. I hope we can be so lucky in life.
In the end, as shown in the TV series, in the reincarnation of generations, we will always go through various events of this kind to wake up each other. In the process of conflict, pain, contemplation, and awakening, we and our parents finally reconcile .
Being a parent, it is inevitable to make mistakes in front of their children, even very serious mistakes. You know, even Freud himself, who proposed that "childhood experience affects a lifetime" is a father who is criticized by his own children. So reconciling with your parents, accepting their imperfections, and even the harm they have done to us in the past, will actually make yourself less regret and disappointment in the future.
