concern me, for you to solve emotional problems
Author: Zhao Wei more girl
monologue drama of the second line of the "vow" on this issue starring Yang Zi, she played a single girl light rain, tears choking maternal love.
has to say that Yang Zi's acting skills are really good, with a clear hierarchy, and the monologue of more than 20 minutes is actually a pass.
Her mood and rhythm are all in place, and I almost cried a few times in the middle. This story is very touching.
Xiaoyu's mother is a single mother. She was pregnant with Xiaoyu 26 years ago. During the period, her husband cheated. This incident has changed the mother's life drastically.
At the beginning, she went to make trouble, went to her husband's work unit, and went to make trouble with all the people who had a relationship with her husband. The trouble was bloody, ruining her husband and being expelled from the work unit.
Next, she wanted to destroy herself and her daughter. She cooked a pot of Xiao Yu’s favorite eight-treasure porridge, added pesticides, and forced Xiao Yu to drink it. Simply, was rescued back.
At that time, Xiaoyu's father knelt down to his mother, and wanted to admit his mistake, only to say "Go and die" in exchange.
Later, my father left.
's mother took Xiaoyu and left her husband's house and began to live her life.
But her hatred did not melt away. She punishes Xiao Yu's grandparents, herself, and Xiao Yu. Before grandpa and grandma passed away, she wanted to see Xiao Yu, but her mother refused to let the two old men die in hatred.
mother lives in resentment and can't accept anyone's kindness. She put all her hopes on Xiao Yu, who is not so much her daughter as her personal property.
She buys Xiao Yu’s friends and gives her pocket money every month to help her monitor Xiao Yu’s every move.
When he was 14 years old, my father went to school to visit Xiao Yu. It was the first time that father and daughter met. The father was dark and thin. He left an iron box for Xiao Yu. In it was the more than 20,000 yuan he earned from working. A letter from their mother and daughter. Two months later, the terminally ill father died. The mother of
learned that there were only two words "deserved." The various behaviors of
mother suffocated Xiao Yu.
Therefore, she graduated from the college entrance examination and went to a far, far university on purpose.
But the distance did not get rid of the mother's control. She calls Xiao Yu anytime and anywhere. If Xiao Yu doesn't answer, she will call a friend next to Xiao Yu until she answers.
is even more terrifying, she also interferes with Xiao Yu's love. Xiao Yu is too longing for a healthy love, but she does not have the ability and courage to love.
Until one day, when he met a good boy, he encouraged Xiao Yu to take the first step. That was Xiao Yu's happiest moment. Later, the boy disappeared out of thin air.
A few years later, Xiaoyu met each other in the supermarket and realized that it was her mother who had separated them. Because the mother and the boy said: "You are not good enough for my daughter, you go as far as possible." While urging Xiaoyu to marry and have children, the
mother killed her hope of love. She always told Xiao Yu: "Men don't have a good thing." Under the control and brainwashing of her mother, Xiao Yu lived more and more lonely. On her 26th birthday, she had only one cake and one candle, so lonely and desperate. The story of
is tragic and true.
A single mother was cheated during pregnancy, ruining three generations.
The parents-in-law failed to see the granddaughter and ended up bitterly.
Her husband was ruined, impoverished, and eventually died of a terminal illness. The
daughter is bound by this suffocating love, without freedom and self, she has lived as an island.
And she has been immersed in resentment all her life, punishing herself with her husband's mistakes, and never got the slightest love and warmth again.
I can understand the difficulty of single mothers, but it is the most terrifying that she blesses this difficulty on her children and relatives.
A good woman, why does her husband's derailment become so hideous? The reason behind it is not that simple.
01 Derailment is a devastating blow to women
I believe Xiao Yu’s mother was not like this at the beginningParanoid, she may be gentle and considerate, and she is an excellent wife.
But her husband's derailment changed her completely. The gentleness is gone, only sharp. Why does
become like this? We must understand that cheating is a devastating blow to women.
destroyed her self-confidence first.
Almost all women who have been cheated will repeatedly ask a question: "Am I not good enough?" She will fall into deep self-doubt and denial.
When a person loses self-identity, she becomes sensitive and inferior, and becomes gloomy and gloomy. Therefore, Xiao Yu's mother urgently needs to grab something to save herself who is about to be overwhelmed by low self-esteem. Once
has an inferiority complex, it will become uneasy.
Therefore, she controlled Xiao Yu and attacked her husband, but she was fighting against her inner fear. On the surface, she is attacking others, but in fact, she is constantly attacking herself.
then destroyed her view of love.
Every woman has an expectation of love and marriage from the beginning. But when the derailment happened, it was tantamount to shattering all the illusions in her heart. The consequence of
is that she totally denies her previous view of love. She no longer believed in love, no longer believed in men.
Therefore, Xiaoyu's mother constantly brainwashed her: "Men are not good things."
Xiaoyu's mother never fell in love and married again, and even if a man showed her favor, she refused decisively. A woman who has been severely hurt by love will reject all love. That is her way of protecting herself.
ruined her sense of security again.
Xiaoyu's mother controlled Xiaoyu because of insecurity in her heart. She wants to keep track of Xiao Yu's whereabouts at all times, thinking that no one is worthy of Xiao Yu because she is afraid that Xiao Yu will be "robbed" by others.
Yes, to some extent, Xiao Yu’s mother no longer regards Xiao Yu as her daughter, but as a private property. She was afraid of taking Xiao Yu like someone took her husband.
That meant that the pain was awakened again, and she hated the feeling of being abandoned.
Actually, Xiaoyu’s mother’s "suffocating love" for her, the root of the error is not her mother, but her cheating father. Xiao Yu kept crying and complaining, but she might not be able to see the scars deep in her mother's heart.
Of course, it is wrong for a mother to punish her child with her own injuries, but understanding her inner pain is the first step in reconciliation.
02 "Control freak" mother has no ego
A person lives by controlling others, which shows that he has no ego and loves himself enough. If Xiao Yu's mother can love herself for 5 points, she can go social, fall in love, and work hard. She will not control Xiao Yu in this way.
I suddenly thought of Zhu Yuchen's mother. She once said in the show:
"I use my whole life to love my son. I have no self, no self at all."
What crazy things would a mother without self do?
Zhu's mother gets up at 4 o'clock every day, squeezes juice for Zhu Yuchen and prepares lunch boxes.
When Zhu Yuchen is there, Zhu's mother's kitchen will be moved there.
When Zhu Yuchen was in college, she slept in the upper bunk. As soon as she left her luggage, Zhu's mother climbed up to make the bed, which made Zhu Yuchen very embarrassed.
Mama Zhu even asked every roommate if he snores. The roommates said no. Mama Zhu was relieved and said, "My son doesn't usually fight, but he might do it when he is tired."
It can be said that Zhu's mother is like Zhu Yuchen's all-round nanny, she is completely alive to serve Zhu Yuchen.
Is such a happy mother Zhu?
In the show, Wei Jia asked Zhu's mother: "Are you happy?" She slowly said three words: "I am helpless."
A woman without self will not be happy.
They struggled with control and being controlled all their lives. They controlled their children, and they were controlled by their own pain.
They are in panic all day long, chasing an illusory dream. When children leave, their lives fall apart.
Having no ego means that there is no pillar of life, they are full of grievances, and they die alone. z5The sad thing about z
is that they will never realize their problems, and they will focus on the children, so how can they see their inner self.
03 A child ruined by its mother
suffocating love will destroy the child. There are always people who say that all parents in the world seem to be forgiven for everything they say and do as long as they are parents, but who is responsible for the pain of their children.
How painful is the life of the controlled child? Xiao Yu, played by Yang Zi, is a living example of her lack of love, low self-esteem, sensitivity and anxiety. She may look sunny, but there is a huge shadow in her heart that cannot be dispelled.
She dare not fall in love because she doesn't know how to love someone. She dared not express love because she was afraid that she would be rejected.
She closed herself in this way, locked herself in the dark, and cried silently until dawn. She even wants to have superpowers and go back to killing herself 26 years ago.
These symptoms do not belong to Xiaoyu alone.
Zhu Yuchen once said in the program:
"When I was in elementary school, my mother forced me to practice piano. Because of this long-term pressure, I completely collapsed in an instant. I wanted to use the extreme way of touching the switch to save the rest of my life."
mother's strong, so that he formed a tolerant personality, all the ups and downs swallowed into his stomach. When watching "My Boy", Zhu Yuchen was really distressed. He was crying alone, and desperate, but he didn't dare to show it.
Because of his mother, his relationship is not going well. He said that he is picking a girlfriend more for his mother. Because Zhu's mother has too many requirements, if she doesn't meet her requirements, she will not be able to tolerate the other party.
found the person who got along with his mother and chose to accept his fate. Those who cannot bear it will choose to end their lives. Song Qian in
"Xiao Huanxi" is also such a mother. After divorcing her husband, she gave everything for her daughter. Saying it is giving is, in essence, a kind of kidnapping. I have paid for you, you have to listen to me.
Therefore, she has extremely high demands on her daughter. She only cares about grades, not let her entertain, confiscating her Lego, and stifling her interest.
Under great pressure, her daughter suffered from depression, ran away from home, and wanted to commit suicide by jumping into the sea.
Jiang Xun once said:
"We sometimes unknowingly restrict children, even in the name of love, because love is too great. But in fact, love should be based on equality between people."
is controlled Children, their lives have been taken away. She was not treated as a "person", more like an object. They cannot feel equality and respect, and they are not seen inside.
Over time, their hearts tend to become distorted. The slightest ones may just be sensitive and inferior, and the more serious ones may suffer from mental illness.
At the end of the short film "Wishing" by Yang Zi, there is a line: "Mom, your greatest love for me is to love yourself."
Yes, only parents who love themselves can give their children the healthiest love. The selfless dedication of parents to their children seems great, but it is actually a kidnapping in the name of love.
END.
Today’s topic:
Have you ever been controlled by your parents?
welcome to leave a message to discuss.
Yu Girl: Emotional author, focusing on the growth and emotion of women in the new era. Original works of
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