Recently, there have been two films that have been in constant popularity and are ranked in the hot list of movies, namely "囧母" and "Little Women". The comedy "囧Mo", as a New Year's New Year's file, is available to audiences for free on Toutiao and Douyin platforms in a way that is separated from the cinema. This is undoubtedly a brand new attempt for the film industry.
After watching "囧Mom", I deeply realized the suffering of middle-aged people, and some of the scenes evoked memories of my mother and me, especially the endless dispute between my mother and son on the train. The 2019 version of "Little Women" won the 92nd Oscar for Best Costume Design Award as soon as it was released. After watching it, my deepest feeling was that Western women’s personality is independent. Therefore, in the last article, I mainly It explores the true meaning of love and freedom from the perspective of the protagonist Joe.
In the past few days, inadvertently, the two films can always come to mind at the same time. Thinking about it carefully, it may be the reason why the roles of the two films are similar. "囧Mother" tells the story of a middle-aged man Xu Yiwan and his mother Lu Xiaohua spending six days and six nights on the train; "Little Women" tells the life experience of Mrs. March and the four sisters at home . The two films are also stories about the father's absence, mother and child, but they give people different feelings.
Today, I will compare the family love clips in "囧Mother" and "Little Women", from the perspective of the two mothers, analyze the differences in personality between Chinese and Western women, and further explore the reasons. Finally, I will talk about some of the insights these two moms with different personalities brought to me.
01, "囧 Mom": A stubborn and strong desire to control mother
"囧 Mom" as a comedy, the joy of which almost all comes from the quarrel between mother and son, people who really feel the pain can not be happy . It stands to reason that Xu Yiwan is a rich little boss, and his mother Lu Xiaohua should be carefree in life. But why is it not harmonious with his son? In fact, the reason lies in Lu Xiaohua's embarrassing behavior and beliefs. In other words, he is acting.
Lu Xiaohua is a relatively strong woman, and she can arrange what she needs to do next. She does not allow others to make mistakes, especially her son Xu Yiwan. Lu Xiaohua’s way of educating Xu Yiwan is the tiger-mother-style education that most mothers in China are accustomed to, and she always puts on a look of admonishment, listing all kinds of truths.
①The thought of requesting and controlling
is on the train, and there is a scene: when Xu Yiwan drinks water, when to eat, and what to eat, Lu Xiaohua next to guide one by one. It looks funny, like taking care of a baby under the full moon. This shows that Lu Xiaohua has a strong desire to control, she always feels that her son needs help in everything. Lu Xiaohua wants to take part in the singing tour, but her regretful dream for being late has become a regret in her heart, and she wants to realize her dream by crying and crying for her son. This shows that in Lu Xiaohua's inner cognition, he has a strong attachment to one thing, regardless of how others feel, just do it according to his own ideas.
Lu Xiaohua feeds his son to dinner
② Paranoid, right and wrong behavior
"Your reasoning is just unreasonable!" Xu Yiwan said to her mother. The marriage of
's son is Lu Xiaohua's biggest concern. How is the relationship between husband and wife recently? When do you plan to have children? This kind of typical Chinese mother problem is probably familiar to many people. The marriage of the son should be harmonious, and the child should be the time. This seems to Lu Xiaohua to be a normal idea. When she heard the news of her son's divorce from her daughter-in-law, Lu Xiaohua didn't believe it at first, and then began to make trouble unreasonably, blaming her son for being insensitive to his wife. Just seeing my son come into contact with other women on the train, I insisted that my son's life style was bad. This kind of paranoid, right and wrong character is the culprit that deepens the contradiction between mother and child.
In fact, Lu Xiaohua loves her son. Her son was frozen overnight outside the train, and Lu Xiaohua’s distressed tears came out. This kind of stubborn and strong maternal love has not been well accepted by the son. In fact, what Lu Xiaohua didn't know was that he was complete for every individual. The love we sincerely hope is not to control and take, but to accept and respect.
02, "Little Women": A mother who is gentle and wise,
. In "Little Women", Mrs. March and the children get along more harmoniously. In Mrs. March, the saying that "a kind mother has more losers" is not correct. There is no tiger mother education, but to get along with the children tenderly and equally. In this film, I see more of this mother The heart is full of understanding and wisdom. The impoverished family, the absence of her husband, and the unfairness of the society to women did not make Mrs. March feel a bit of complaint. She quietly did what she should do, and the love that came out of her was silent but full of power.
①Reasonable, gentle and considerate love
When her daughter Amy took the toy Lyme to the class and was beaten by the teacher, her mother wrote to the school: "What right do you have to hit a child? We are all people of God. If you beat and humiliate your child, the only lesson she learns is'beating and humiliation'." From this point of view, what my mother values is the cultivation and development of her daughter's character, and then Amy also learns obediently. The mother was not punished by the child and believed that she should be punished. She believed that the school's treatment was inappropriate and that physical punishment should not be used on the child. This made Amy feel her mother's tenderness.
And her daughter Beth has been frail and sickly since she was young, looking thin and frail. Once, when he went to Hans's house to care for them, unfortunately, he contracted scarlet fever. After the doctor's diagnosis, he said there was no hope, and Beth fell into despair. The mother who took care of her father in Washington rushed home overnight and rescued Beth in her own way, and said softly to Beth in her arms: "Child, don't be afraid, we are all by your side, you have to believe I will get better soon." After Beth listened, she regained hope and her body slowly improved.
Mrs. March takes care of the sick Beth
②A sensible and understanding attitude
When her daughter Meg was going to a party for a rich family, she was distressed that she did not have beautiful new clothes, and she was vain to borrow a new one from others Clothes, but were laughed at by poor children. After attending the party and returning home, Meg said very aggrievedly: "The feeling of being envied by others, I also want it." Mother gently comforted her and said: "Time will corrode all the beauty on the surface, what time cannot erase is The beautiful workings of your heart, your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage, these are what I really love in your heart." This gentle tone did not bore Meg, but understood and accepted herself. Poverty.
When daughter Joe was confused about the direction of life and the future, facing her daughter’s self-blame, her mother hugged her daughter tightly and said: "You have so many extraordinary talents, how can you expect to live an ordinary life? It’s ready to go, make good use of your talents, go, face your freedom, and see what beautiful things can be achieved." Mom knows her daughter’s character and abilities, and she treats her daughter’s doubts with an equal status. Certainly, it can be loved by her daughter.
Mrs. March and the children are reading the letter
Mrs. March is gentle. The way she gets along with her children is never beating, scolding or punishment, but communicating on an equal footing. She walks into the hearts of the children and guides them to follow up. Of yourself. Mrs. March is also wise. Although her father is not around, her mother still knows how to teach students in accordance with their aptitude. The way to get along with their children is to be friends and use love and understanding to help them grow. You might say that it is not common for moms with good personality like Mrs. March, but every one of us as parents is always learning, and good qualities need to be cultivated consciously, right?
03. The differences in the personality of the two mothers are mainly due to three aspects:
①Family environment
In "囧Mom", Lu Xiaohua's stubborn personality is traceable. When Lu Xiaohua was young, she also spent 8 years in Xinjiang because of love and despite the opposition of her family, in order to embrace love. However, her later life was too far from what she expected. Due to the disharmony of the relationship between the two people, she suffered a lot by herself, which created her tenacious and stubborn character, but this independence lies in the relationship between mother and child. Evolve into nagging and paranoid. In "Little Women", Mrs. March’s love is simple and ordinary. The March family is not a rich family. It can be seen that the relationship between Mrs. March and her husband is harmonious. This is how Mrs. March is willing to be her husband. Reasons for babysitting at home. The family is full of warmth, even if there is noWith a good material life, Mrs. March is also content.
②Social culture
Lu Xiaohua is a typical Chinese mother's character. She treats her children sincerely, wishing to give her all her heart, but she always feels that her child will never grow up, and that her experience and experience are correct. This is a willingness to contribute from the Chinese collectivism for thousands of years. However, in this environment, people tend to lack individuality and tend to be more conservative. Lu Xiaohua belongs to the perceptual category. When encountering problems, the first is perceptual judgment. In contrast, Mrs. March is a very rational person. In dealing with each child's problem, she stays sensible for the first time, and can calm down to analyze the cause of the problem carefully and find a solution to the problem. Mrs. March's character is inseparable from the Western cultural philosophy of advocating freedom and praising individuality. Under the two different cultural backgrounds, Lu Xiaohua and Mrs. March are not opposites, but complementary. This also reflects that different social cultures have a profound influence on the growth of the personality of Chinese and Western women.
③Values
In the eyes of Chinese people, "benevolence" is our core value. It is undeniable that Lu Xiaohua cares about her son in every possible way. Even if she is frugal and endures hardship, she does not want her son to be under pressure, but Lu Xiaohua is too caring for her son. In life, my mother is the same. In winter, even if it is cold outside, as long as I want to eat the vegetables I like, my mother ran to the vegetable market in the morning to buy fresh vegetables for me to eat. However, sometimes I am thirsty and anxious to drink cold water, and my mother will tell me not to drink cold water but boiled water. Cold water is not good for my stomach. This is the love of Chinese mothers. Overloaded love sometimes makes children unable to adapt. The core value of Westerners is "competition", which encourages people to use their abilities without being restricted. Mrs. March did not keep the children under her wings like an old hen guarding a chick. Seeing the abilities of each child, she encouraged the children to take a brave step. Westerners respect the growth of people, and children who have grown up should go out and live independently, and can no longer rely entirely on family support. Such values also form Mrs. March's awareness of respecting children's free growth.
By comparing the family love clips in "囧Mom" and "Little Women", we can clearly see the different results: Lu Xiaohua's lack of understanding and respect for her son led to her son's rebelliousness and perversion many times. The son tolerates the mother, but the mother’s embarrassing character has left us a deep impression; Mrs. March’s peaceful relationship with her children, each child is influenced by her mother, and the character has been well cultivated, so that each of us Children are envious. In these two different feelings, personality plays a vital role in the growth of a person, whether it is getting along with family or getting along with others.
tells us from the different personalities of the two mothers in "囧Mom" and "Little Women" that when we get along with our family, we want to have a harmonious relationship. The way of communication is not to spoil and ask for each other, but to respect each other. And understand each other.
04. How to achieve family harmony, two mothers with different personalities can give me 3 inspirations
① Less control and give each other some freedom
"I am doing well for you" is a good intention in itself, but this sentence is thorny How many people's hearts hurt. In fact, there are a lot of family quarrels. Both have a good starting point and hope each other is good, but the other party just doesn't understand. After the incident, I feel very wronged. Where is the problem? The answer is do not do to others what you don't want. Some people might say that this is my relative, how I want to come. To be honest, ask yourself, are you doing this for the good of the other party or for yourself? Spoiling and requesting are both undesirable, no one will always be a child, like being restrained by others. Therefore, you need to have a proper degree of getting along with your family, and leaving some space and respect for each other will make the relationship between the two parties better.
②Try to treat them equally and enter each other’s hearts.
When Mrs. March gets along with her family, what you see is not a confrontation between an elder and a junior, but an exchange between friends. Perhaps equal exchanges are common in Western countries. With the changes of the times, Chinese families nowThere is no lack of equality thoughts. After all, the best way to convince others is never yelling, yelling will only disturb the mood. And now that people's cultural common sense is becoming more and more popular, rational thinking will gradually become the way people deal with problems. We should try to sit down together in a gentle way, talk about each other's thoughts and opinions like friends, and walk into each other's hearts, so that the atmosphere will not be too stiff and it will be more pleasant to get along with.
③ More empathy is conducive to the harmonious relationship between the two sides
Rousseau said: "When we love others, we also hope that others love us." This is a typical compensation psychology in psychology, which exists in everyone's heart. . However, in real life, there are many cases of getting along with each other to tell us that this kind of psychology can actually cause headaches, and the love for others does not appreciate. If there is a cause, there must be an effect. If someone is harsh on you, you will hate this person; on the contrary, if this person is friendly to you, you will be happy to accept this person. So, when you want others to do it, you might as well think about what others feel about doing it, and whether you can afford it on yourself. Think more empathy. If you want to get along with your family in peace, it is indispensable to consider issues from the standpoint of the other person.
educator Karl Witt said: "Character is a posture shown by a child in life and as a survival ability." Indeed, the formation of a person's character is closely related to the environment in which it is located, and it also affects everyone around him. People and their character are also in a process that needs to be continuously cultivated and improved. Therefore, we can cultivate those good characters and get rid of bad behaviors.
This article mainly compares the personalities of the two mothers in "囧Mother" and "Little Women", analyzes the differences in the personality of Chinese and Western women, and makes us realize the importance of having a good personality in the family. What's more, whether in future life or at work, these good personalities will benefit us for life.
Writer:
thank you for reading, thank you for your attention~
