hot drama "In the Name of Family" has just ended. Apart from the love line that has been criticized by many audiences, I think this drama about family trivial matters is pretty good-looking.
All kinds of families that are common or uncommon in reality come together on the same stage. The model and good father Li Haichao, Ling Heping who is busy working and not returning home, Chen Ting who tortured his children in disguise, Jin Yuxiang who controls everything...
Parents with different characteristics have told us 6 truths about parenting.
-1-
Whoever spends a long time with the child, the child loves whoever is the protagonist
The protagonist's family, it is better to say that Dad Li Ling cooperated with Dad and raised 3 children. In fact, Dad Ling was mainly responsible for part of the living expenses. Dad Li opened a noodle restaurant and worried about all the children's affairs.
Therefore, even Ling Xiao, who has his father by his side, is the first to talk to Dad Li when he encounters problems. Dad Li's words weighed more heavily in Ling Xiao's heart than his father.
Why does a little man with independent thinking listen to you? Just relying on your carelessness with TA, your relationship is close and not close.
Looking back at Zhao Huaguang, Ziqiu's biological father. When Ziqiu was still in his mother's womb, Zhao Huaguang said he didn't want him. The father and son met for the first time, and Ziqiu was an adult.
When I teach my son, what words can my son hear?
And even though Anna Mae left Ziqiu when he was young, the key 6-year company was attentive. That's why Ziqiu always thinks about her mother, and has basic respect when meeting. After the misunderstanding was clarified, the mother-child reconciliation went smoothly.
High-quality company is the key to a good parent-child relationship.
In the future, the child's wings will be stiff, and whether he will listen to you depends on whether you can establish a good parent-child relationship with the TA before the age of 6.
Children are the simplest. Who treats him well, he treats him well.
If you don't want to wait for your child to be "difficult" or "disobedient" after school, start now and accompany your child more.
-2-
squat down so that the children can listen to you
Have you noticed how the exemplary father Li Haichao talks to the children?
squatted down and looked up at the child.
Dad Li always squatted down every time he talked to the children:
praised the sharp paintings;
taught the sharp not to fight or pick up other people’s things;
saw the farm work carrying a basket The kid in autumn;
......
It is not difficult for adults to walk into the heart of the child, as long as this one action-squat down, transform into the child's perspective.
looking up at the child physically is also a prerequisite for looking up at the child psychologically. The little action means that an adult is willing to respect and listen to children.
Next time, when you want to talk to your child, try squatting down.
-3-
Use body and language together to let children feel your love
There is another detail worth noting when Li Haichao gets along with children.
When encouraging children, Dad Li will touch their heads and pinch their faces affectionately. When teaching the little pointy point of making a grimace, gently tap the pointed forehead with your finger as a punishment.
These subtle body movements can pass parents' love to their children. A survey of
psychology shows that hugs family members 8 times a day, which will increase mutual intimacy.
Nodding, squeezing the face, touching your head to young children, cuddling your shoulders, and gently hugging adolescent children will make your children feel your love for them, and even more appreciate the security and intimacy from your parents.
has physical contact, and language should keep up.
Chinese parents are generally shy, embarrassed to put "I love you" on their lips, thinking that the usual little bit is enough to make the children realize that they are heartbroken to them.
But you don't say how sure is the child? Will a child with a wild mind in his head think of something weird?
usually express love, especially when the child's heart is extremely insecure.
Dad Li adopted Ziqiu, but he did not go through the strict legal adoption procedures, that is to say, Ziqiu was not on the Li family register.
Mom owes Dad Li a lot of money, and my aunt often troubles Dad Li who is not relatives.
These factors cause Ziqiu to be very upset, often helping Dad Li do something to show that he is "useful", doting on the sister Jianjian, and Jianjian help her top the bag.
Neighbors joked with Ziqiu, saying that if he is not filial, Dad Li will not want him.
Dad Li immediately stopped them from continuing to break their mouths when he saw this, and took Ziqiu aside to comfort him before giving Ziqiu a pill.
Don't want parents, grandma hates him, and Ziqiu, who has been abandoned by all his relatives, has all the confidence that Dad Li will not send him away.
Thanks to Dad Li, the boy Qiu has grown into the cheerful and talkative sunshine boy He Ziqiu.
-4-
The parents quarreled, and the biggest loser was the child
Ling Xiao’s mother Chen Ting. Because her daughter died unexpectedly, her mood was extremely unstable. Every move of her husband, son or even neighbors can detonate her emotions.
Every time Chen Ting quarrels with Ling's dad, the neighbourhood knows everything. At this time, Ling Xiao sat silently in the corridor, reading with the sound of arguing and throwing things.
can avoid the children from being injured by avoiding the quarrel between father and mother? Obviously not.
When Ling Dad chatted with Li Dad, "Ling Xiao was a lively child, but now he has become silent."
Ling Xiao became silent and withdrawn, but mother only had the position of the lost daughter, and could not see the living. The son was also injured.
Parents do not know how to control their emotions, accuse them of abuse, and even transfer their anger to their children, which will greatly damage the children's sense of security.
When the child grows up, he will say: "My childhood shadow comes from my parents."
I believe that every parent would not want to see such a scene.
-5-
The parents' negation directly destroys the child's self-confidence.
Sharp girlfriend Qi Mingyue is a child who grows up in negation.
When I was a student, I never fell out of the top 5. She became a squad leader in high school, and she got second in one exam, but her mother despised her as the “second in ten thousand years”. After
worked, she did her favorite reporter job. momMom also disliked her for not having an establishment and her job was unstable, so she forced her to take a civil service examination by forcing a bunch of materials.
She finally bought her first car. When her mother saw it, she thought the car was too cheap, so she didn't have the face to drive out and asked her to sell it.
When Qi Mingyue's mother disliked her daughter, she didn't carry a trace of malice, but just "for the sake of her daughter".
dislikes her daughter’s grades because she hopes that her daughter will study harder;
dislikes her daughter’s job because she hopes her daughter’s future will be more stable;
dislikes her daughter’s new car and wants to change her daughter for a better one. Since
is love, why must it be expressed in a way that hurts children?
Qi Mingyue, who grew up in this environment, is very awkward. She knows that her mother loves her and follows her as much as possible. But if she wants to go on a different path than her mother arranged, she will be extremely furious.
The college entrance examination deliberately fills out an answer sheet and this kind of thing is done!
People who are in the negation of their parents will form low self-worth judgments, excessive introspection, and distrust of themselves. When
grows up, Qi Mingyue always says " I can't do anything well" and "I hate myself" every time he evaluates himself.
-6-
Respect and tolerance, children can grow up to the sun
Li Jianjian, who has the strongest contrast with Qi Mingyue, is not a good child in traditional concepts.
Li Jianjian is not quiet enough, not hard enough to study, and joking all day, like a tomboy.
Normal parents have already taught this kind of daughter, but Li Haichao doesn't care about it at all, as long as the daughter is happy.
held a parent meeting. Qi Mingyue, who had excellent grades, looked sad, but Li Jianjian, the second-to-last one, was able to laugh and fight with her father.
Dad Li has tolerated his daughter’s imperfections. His daughter did not interfere with painting or woodcarving. After his daughter's woodcarving was awarded, he was sincerely happy for his daughter, pulled banners, and engaged in discount activities.
Pointy, Moon, and Tang Cansan's best friends grew up with the shadow of their original family.
On the surface of the moon, he listened to his parents, but in fact it was the most rebellious. They did everything they didn't let them do. Tang Can behaved strangely towards his parents, playing various role-plays as if stunned, and at the same time despising himself.
Only the tip can chase dreams with confidence, set up your own studio, and ponder your beloved woodcarving every day. When faced with a problem, I can still make a phone call with my dad and listen to his dad cheer for her.
Who doesn't envy Li Jianjian's optimistic and firm state, who doesn't want Li Haichao such an unconditionally tolerant and accepting father?
reminds children of their parents, the heart will be filled with the strength to move forward, the courage to overcome difficulties, free to live their own life.
This is the meaning of the existence of parents.
Educating children is an age-old problem in itself. Every parent learns how to be a good parent in the pit for life.
hope that parents and mothers who have watched "In the Name of Family" can use love to support a warm home for their children and let them grow up freely.
