is indeed the case. How can you have the courage and strength to explore the world when you can’t even be the master of your life?
is like the psychodrama "Falling in You Heal Me" I watched some time ago. The patient Yang Fei doubted: "Is it a mistake to appear in this world?"
19-year-old violent, he can never do anything Moved, because of a fight with his classmates, he was sent to the psychiatric department of the hospital.
Yang Fei said:
"He likes the piano, he reported to me for hobby classes, and I didn't even have the opportunity to try other things."
His father thought: "I am doing this for your own good, and I am not planning and arranging this for you. I hope you can go smoothly and don't make detours."
Yang Fei shouted: "I don't need it, I want my own life. Do what you want to do."
But his father still believes that the life he has arranged for him is correct, for his good.
seems to be "good for you", but actually interferes with the child's life at will.
The responsibility of parents is to teach their children the right way. As for how the children go, it is their own choice.
Give children full freedom, let them live for themselves, give them the right to choose the future, and grow into a unique self. This is the best love parents give their children.
As Cai Kangyong said: "What is the most precious thing for children?An ideal environment allows him to become himself, not the person we want him to become. "
thinks so.
must know that we as parents are not the prequels of children, and children are not our sequels, so they should have their own lives.
respects children and is the best education for parents to children
psychologists Scott Parker once said: Parents who truly love children understand that to love children, they must respect their children, their wishes and feelings, and their right to make decisions. The post-90 boy Lin Zhuoyu is the one respected by his parents Happy child.
He wrote his first fairy tale at the age of 5, published a 300,000-character book at the age of 12, and became the youngest member of the Hunan Writers Association at the age of 15. He has won more than 200 literary awards and is known as the head of the post-90s writers. .
and all this is inseparable from the education of Lin’s mother.
she said that she never forced her children to learn anything, and she would not give her children too much rules, because excessive control easily destroys the child’s nature.
he likes flowers and plants, then Just make room for him to plant;
if he likes to read, then buy him a lot of books;
if he likes writing, just support him writing;
if he likes traveling, just take him to play everywhere...
Lin Zhuoyu In her education, she fully respects the child’s interest and allows him to grow up freely. She is only responsible for grasping the general direction of the child’s growth and not deviating.
is like Yang Mi once said in an interview with : “Respect the child’s choice Children are independent individuals, and they must be given space for independent thinking and the right to make their own choices.”
Only children who are respected can choose what they love because they have the right to choose freely.
After all, children are independent individuals. Souls that are different from us; they do not come because of us, but because of the desire for life.
So children should be free, we love children, and cannot "in the name of love" to control their children's lives.
just like Hu Shi once said:
I nurture you, not kindness, but a biological instinct dictated by blood; therefore, since I have no favor to you, you don't need to repay me.
Instead, I want to thank you because of your participation, I My life is more complete. I just happen to be your father, you just happen to be my daughter and son, I am not your prequel, and you are not my sequel.
children should not be our goal in life Tools, they should choose freely for their lives, love children, respect them, and support their choices.
encourage each other. z4 z
Author: Ashley Blue
Editor: Hu small meow
picture: from the network, please contact delete infringement.
[Xiaole Mom Parenting], I am Xiaole Mom, with one son and one daughter, family education instructor, psychological counselor, freelance writer, share the ups and downs of parenting together, please follow me.
