Not long ago, at the closing ceremony of a youth film exhibition, actresses such as Hai Qing, Yao Chen, and Liang Jing stood on stage to give their speeches, calling on directors and producers to give Mesozoic actress opportunities. They are a group of actresses who are very keen on acting, but the market gives them too little space. This video quickly became a hot search on the Internet. Because this is not only a problem in the entertainment industry, but also a social problem, everyone has a grievance.
often talks about "middle-age crisis", in fact, "middle-age crisis" is more serious. They face not only the same sense of urgency in their careers as men, but also the global problem of "how to balance career and family".
Tao Hong on "Middle-aged Actress Dilemma".
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Recently, I was chasing a drama, "Meeting Happiness" (starring Jiang Xin, Li Guangjie, Liu Zi, Guo Jingfei, Liu Peiqi, etc.), talking about the mid-life crisis encountered by the three young students, and what they are How to face and solve it. Here, for middle-aged people, especially middle-aged women, the problem of "middle-age crisis" has erupted in a comprehensive manner. Careers, marriages, children, parents, etc., have all collapsed. They had to exhaust their efforts to mend these cracks and bridge their contradictions with society.
zhen is open (played by Jiang Xin), still young and beautiful, TV director, vigorous and innovative, busy with his feet, but disagrees with the leaders. As a result, he was assigned to an unpopular department, unable to produce performance, and still not discouraged. . But she accidentally took photos of her leader cheating and having affection with other female colleagues. She was pushed out in every possible way and finally forced her to resign.
was half busy, and Zhen Kaifa had to go to the police station, took back her husband who had been arrested in the hotel and opened a room with someone, and filed for divorce on the spot.
The problem is that the child is still young, and he often says he misses his father; the nanny wants to go back to his hometown to get married and never come back. The ex-husband did not pay support, and the court sentenced him to 1,000 yuan, and he needed to collect invoices before he was willing to pay.
independent and self-improvement, it is too difficult for Zhen Kai who is divorced and unemployed. Although Zhen Kaiyuan has a beautiful work experience, because of her age and the need to take care of her children, there is no unit to ask for her, so she runs into trouble at interviews. She has to look for a job while looking at Lele. Turns the corner, she ran into a former colleague who introduced her to a planned project. She took Lele to the meeting, but in the middle of the meeting, Lele's noise interrupted the producer's speech. Yes, this project is also out of date.
The desperate Zhen Kai-kai can only choose a special car driver with flexible working hours, but the special car driver is not good. She was complained, sexually harassed, and beaten by a sexual harasser, but was bitten and exposed by the national network. Her father was kind to do bad things and beat People entered the detention center... The first half of
Zhen's open life was much more miserable than the "divorced" Luo Zijun in "My First Half of Life". The only thing wins is that her fighting spirit has always been there.
And her childhood friend Xiao Qing (played by Liu Zi), is a flight attendant, and also sells insurance part-time, which offends many friends. Xiao Qing rarely sees her husband, and it is better to have no husband; her daughter Chunni dropped out of school secretly, she knew nothing about it. She and her husband have been on business trips for many years. Since Chunni was a child, her grandfather has participated in various parent meetings. The couple has been absent. When Chunni grows up alone, what right does she have to blame the child?
Ouyang Yanyan (played by Guo Jingfei), is the only male in the middle of three hairpins. He had already achieved success in his career, but because he saw his colleagues overworked and cherished himself, he immediately resigned and lived a long period of happy life. Here, if you change the angle and look at it from the eyes of Ouyang's strict wife Yaru, it is another kind of crisis for middle-aged women:
husband earns a lot of money, but acts erratic, she neither knew that he had resigned suddenly, nor Knowing that he opened a cafe where all his friends had come to play, he decided to lend the car to different friends, so he and his son could only sitsubway. He has a confidante, and he has a beautiful close daughter who is "fascinated". He takes his son to play games every day after he resigns. She is the only one who thinks about how to arrange the home and pave the way for the child to study abroad or get married. The husband didn't care. In the end, she could only hire private investigators to solve the mystery.
Yaru devoted herself to working for the family, she was not young, and her body was blessed; she saw Ouyang Yan Yan’s scandal being young and beautiful, high-spirited, self-assuming, and she felt that she was going to be eliminated, so she took the initiative to say she was going to get divorced.
This is also a typical female midlife crisis.
Where is the middle-aged crisis for men? Ouyang Yanyan, eating, drinking, playing and playing games after resignation, still several companies with high salaries are waiting to hire him, he is not happy yet, not enough. This remuneration is very different from the remuneration offered by the first-class Yan Kai. His worries are just that some beautiful women take the initiative to show his favor, and he is full of heart, but he is not willing to pay the price.
Xiao Qing’s husband is also very cool. He has a wife and daughter in name, but in reality, he doesn’t have any. One person is full and the whole family is not hungry; but Xiao Qing can’t, Xiao Qing still needs to support the family. With such a comparison, we can understand that although the middle-age crisis is universal, women have a deeper pain about it.
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People who reach middle age should be the golden period of their careers. Why is there such a common "middle-age crisis"?
This is because the times have changed a lot. no longer says that the older the more valuable it is. The most famous of is that ordinary Huawei employees over 35 years old will be dismissed by HR to find reasons to choose the opportunity to retire. The average age of Huawei's employees has remained around 28 years old, and older people are rarely seen. In other BAT companies, there are all young people.
is not only the Internet, but also similar in many industries. As soon as the age of 35 is over, the crisis in the workplace is getting bigger and bigger.
IBM, the blue giant in the IT industry, has laid off more than 20,000 American employees aged 40 and above in the past six years, accounting for about 60% of the total number of American layoffs in recent years.
But on the other hand, the "996" work system has caused endless complaints. In IT companies and startups, young people who died of overwork at the age of 30 or 40 have heard from time to time. This is also the direct reason why Ouyang resigned strictly without hesitation.
In this era, "experience" is no longer valuable. New information and new technological systems are constantly being renovated. On the contrary, young people may be easier to grasp new knowledge than middle-aged people. With the same salary of , instead of hiring middle-aged people, it is better to hire new people with better physical strength, more obedient, more willing to work overtime, and easier to accept new knowledge. The middle-aged people have to work hard overtime because they are afraid of being eliminated, so as to make achievements in order to get a higher and relatively safe position before being fired.
I have a good friend who works in the BAT company. He has already achieved a very good middle-level income. The original boss changed his position. He even thought he could be in the position. Suddenly, he dropped off from another department. A young man fifteen years younger than him is his boss. Think about that complicated mood!
In September, Jack Ma will hand over the post of chairman of Alibaba's board of directors and be succeeded by Zhang Yong, a younger generation born in the 70s.
Do you think you can be a greasy middle-aged person and teach young people "I cross more bridges than you walk" and "I eat more salt than you eat"? Wrong, this set does not work, they can use technical means to dispatch all the bridges and all the salt data in an instant, and use the data to explain the problem, which will make you stunned and lose your confidence at any time.
On the other hand, in big cities, people who reach middle age will owe a mortgage of thousands of dollars to the bank every day when they open their eyes. Children’s education expenses and study abroad funds are also a big hole for money, and there are also health funds for the elderly. The insurance of the family is waiting for the husband and wife "996" to earn it back.
wantIt is very tiring to maintain an elite class that has finally made it into it, and you have to take your breath away. As long as you lose your current job and cannot find a new job with the same salary, the mortgage will be cut off, your child will not be able to attend a good cram school, and there will be no money to choose a school; everything you currently have will be formatted and all previous efforts will be lost , And have to restart a new round. I have done my best just to maintain the status quo.
The eldest brother Su Mingzhe in "Everything is Good" is unemployed in his middle age, but he refuses to put down his body to find a job because of his education.
So, sometimes, men will find ways to escape. is like Ouyang Yanyan. When his wife was still working, working hard to maintain the family, and trying to raise the child's study abroad fund and marriage fund, he resigned and let himself go. There is no other pursuit, just playing, playing games, and getting ambiguous with beautiful women by the way.
Middle-aged man Si Wenqu (played by Li Guangjie) is considered authentic. He does not want to bear family responsibilities, so he insists on non-marriage; but you can’t understand why he who is non-marriage will give his unloved girlfriend Shao Shaonong Pregnancy (later proved to be false)?
Not to mention the ex-husband of Zhen Kaiwan, who doesn't even pay 1,000 yuan in support and still loves his daughter; and Xiao Qing's husband, who has disappeared in the lives of his wife and daughter for many years.
In fact, this is how middle-aged men are evading responsibility. The husbands in "Meet Happiness" are not bad guys. Although they bear the name of having a wife and children, they don't care about the flood behind them, and they are perfectly invisible in the family. They can abandon their family and children at any time and live their own happy life without moral burden.
Chinese men have a middle-aged crisis, a career crisis, but in the family, they can still slip away! In this way, the burden was easily released and handed over to the woman.
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Middle-class women in the city have to try their best to balance the relationship between career and family.
On the one hand, their career is regarded as the foundation of their lives. In China, a country where there is no alimony or close to none, once a child is divorced, a man can pat his butt and leave without consequences. If women do not work, they have no income and cannot support themselves and their children.
A woman has a family behind her to raise; and a man can have a family or no family behind her, depending on the mood.
On the other hand, women also need to do housework and take care of children. If doesn't need to think about taking care of the children, Zhen Kaikai can find a good job, but this alone will block her career path. She gave up her favorite job for the sake of her children. But as a male, Ouyang Yanyan doesn't need to balance career and family at all, he doesn't do work, and his son doesn't need to manage. Comparing
, we know that the male mid-life crisis is only drizzle compared to the female mid-life crisis.
I once wrote an article before, which talked about "people are middle-aged, they are arrogant, they are inferior." men do not have a mid-life crisis, and they do. The main thing is a pause in their careers and hesitating whether to come to a new romance and stimulate their tired body. However, the midlife crisis of women is not romantic at all. It is used to balance parents, husband and wife, children, and career.
The big S who took the "girl route" also talked about his "middle-age crisis" on the show. The road to promotion is much harder. The proportion of men in middle and senior leadership positions is much higher than that of women, which makes women lose their right to speak, and the workplace environment further deteriorates.
This is also the reason why middle-aged women are particularly depressed.
But fortunately, there are still many women who are persevering like "Xiaoqiang who can't be beaten". They dance in shackles, and they dance better than men. For example, the high school enrollment rate of Chinese women is much lower than that of men. This ratio ranks 130th on the global gender gap list (data from the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report); however, female undergraduates, The postgraduate enrollment rate is higher than that of men, ranking first in the world. This shows that women work very hard.
Source: The Paper:
The same is true in the workplace. Although women have to be distracted to take care of their families, they are not as beautiful as men, but once they get into trouble, they generally burst out with powerful energy.
This has been reflected in recent film and television dramas. In "Meeting Happiness", Zhen Kaikai was forced to become a special car driver. She was forced to choose, but she was very careful, putting flowers in the car, making small cards, and creating a good atmosphere; she also insisted on principles and was unwilling to submit. As a special car driver, she must do something different. She had fun in her work, settled her child's growth, and found someone she likes wholeheartedly. Song Qian in "Xiao Huanxi", although a control freak single mother who hurt her daughter, she did her best when she worked, took care of the children and loved them without reservation, and finally got the children's consideration. Su Mingyu of "Everything is Good", although she has been hurt by her patriarchal parents since she was a child, and has been exploited and squeezed by her two brothers, under these pressures, she still grows into a towering tree by herself...
Each one is too difficult.
How could this be true in our real life? There are always some women in . The more difficult they are, the more resilient they are. Think about it, the labor rate of Chinese women has always been the precedent in the world; however, Chinese men’s housework time is the fourth lowest in the world; you will know that Chinese women participate in almost the most work and labor, and almost contract The most housework; but they all persevered.
I suddenly thought of a piece of news today. The 2019 Future Science Award was announced. Four people including Professor Wang Xiaoyun of Tsinghua University won the prize. The three prizes totaled 3 million US dollars. Zhejiang University professor @王王王立铭 told a story:
"A few years ago, a middle-aged man in the audience stood up and said: "It’s really hard for women to do math. They send their children to kindergarten and line up. Parents are chatting, I can only think about math in my heart; every day I cook, I just cook while thinking about math... "I almost acquiesced that this is a mathematics and folk sciences that broke in. At this time, the host stood up and said, this is The world-famous cryptographer, Wang Xiaoyun of Tsinghua University."
The reason why a female scientist is difficult is because she has taken on family responsibilities that a male scientist would not have. But so difficult, she still became an outstanding scientist.
Life kissed me bitterly, but I replied with song. What you see is their appearance that is not young, what I see is that they have steel-like perseverance in their hearts.
