Recently, Huang Lei shared an interesting life story on Weibo and received more than 270,000 likes.
He said, my sister was wetting the bed last night, and in the morning she asked me, do you know how I wet the bed? I said you had a dream, dreaming that you are going to pee, then you look for the bathroom, look and look, look and look, and finally find it, then you pee, then you feel cold, and then you wake up I found myself wetting the bed. My sister looked at me very admiringly and said, wow, how did you know, dad?
Wetting the bed is a very embarrassing thing for many children, and it is a depressing thing for parents, but Huang Lei and his little daughter But being able to talk about this with a smile shows the child's sense of wealth and security.
However, not every child can be born in such an enlightened family, and not every child can have a childhood that is cared for by their parents.
In January 2019, a 4-year-old girl in South Korea was punished to death by her mother for bedwetting, with a lot of congestion on her head.
In February 2019, a 4-year-old girl in Fengyang was beaten to death by her stepfather because of bedwetting. News like
is not an exception. These children who are just a few years old, who are in their innocent and carefree age, have lost their precious lives because of a trivial matter, which is regrettable! Then the question is coming.
One, is the child bedwetting normal?
"Chinese Parenting Encyclopedia" pointed out that almost all babies under 3 years old have experience of bedwetting. As they age, normal children's nighttime urine volume will gradually decrease, and the nervous system will gradually mature the control of the bladder. After the age of 5, 15% to 20 of the children will wet the bed, only 10% at the age of 7 and only 5% of the children at the age of 10 may wet the bed. Therefore, bedwetting for babies under 5 years old is a common and normal phenomenon.
However, if the child is over 5 years old and wets the bed more than twice a week at night, and continues to wet the bed for 3 months, this situation can be characterized as "pathological bedwetting", that is, enuresis. (According to the diagnostic criteria of the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV)) In this case, it is necessary to take the child to the hospital as soon as possible, because it will not only bring a burden to the child and parents, but also cause anxiety and cause inferiority complex. Psychology, thereby affecting interpersonal relationships and personality development.
Second, what are the reasons for bedwetting?
There are two main reasons for children's bedwetting:
1, physical reasons
bedwetting children are generally younger, their central nervous system has not yet matured, when the bladder is full of urine, they will not be expanded by the bladder Feeling awakened, so bedwetting. Some children sleep well at night, and when they are asleep, they can’t get up in time.
2, psychological reasons such as
, are mainly caused by emotional frustration of their children. For example, after many second-born mothers find out that they have a second child, they can take care of themselves, suddenly become fond of fighting, degenerate behavior, and use a feeding bottle. Drinking water, bedwetting, etc. are also commonly referred to as competitor barriers. They think that their parents’ love has been taken away by their newborn babies and are emotionally frustrated, so after a deep sleep, they relieve their subconscious grievances and pressure through bedwetting.
Three, when a child wets the bed, what should parents do?
First of all, observe the child’s bedwetting frequency to rule out the possibility of disease
It is common and normal for children to wet the bed before the age of 5, but after the age of 5, it is necessary for parents to pay attention to the bedwetting several times a week. You can take your child to the hospital for a doctor to diagnose and rule out the possibility of disease. If it is a disease, treat it in time to avoid making the child feel inferior due to bedwetting.
Secondly, protect the self-esteem of the child, do not blame or punish
A 6-year-old American child Valerie accidentally wets the bed in the kindergarten. Although the teacher told her that it’s okay, the little girl still feels embarrassed and crying and making trouble. want to go home. Father Ben saw his daughter's embarrassment and shame, and worried that this incident would cast a shadow on her daughter's psychology. Just a brainstorm, pick upThe cup filled with water splashed on his pants, and the water splashed on the pants, as if they were wet.
Then Ben picked up his daughter's small schoolbag, blocked it in the wet place, and said to her daughter, do you know? It’s nothing to pee on your pants, it happens to everyone. Although your father is an adult, he can also pee on your pants, so you don’t have to be shy. Your father will accompany you. Now let’s sneak home. Valerie immediately became happy after hearing what his father said. Ben used his actions to resolve the shame of his daughter's bedwetting and protect the child's self-esteem.
Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky said: “Children’s dignity is the most sensitive corner of the human mind. Protecting children’s self-esteem is the potential power of protecting children.”
Many adults always disregard the dignity of children and wet their children. Or the shortcomings can be regarded as a big talk after dinner, making the child unable to hold his head in front of others. In fact, in the critical period of the child's personality growth, such an approach will greatly harm the child's emotion and dignity, forming a biological scar that is difficult to heal. These early experiences will be engraved in the child's psychology and will be fermented in the memory. When encountering similar situations, there will be dull pain and seizures.
When the child wets the bed, please do not punish, not blame, and use encouragement instead of punishment. When the child does not wet the bed, praise it in time. For example, today the baby gets up to go to the bathroom by himself, which is great! Today, the baby did not make progress and so on.
Once again, develop good living habits and carry out voluntary urination training
After the age of 2, we can train children to urinate autonomously, so that when they feel the urge to urinate, they should hurry to the toilet. At the same time, guide the child to drink more water during the day and less before going to bed at night. Try not to drink water 1 to 2 hours before going to bed. However, if the child is thirsty, drink water, and it is not forbidden not to drink it.
Develop the habit of going to the toilet before going to bed, and don’t eat too many fruits with high water content, such as watermelon, cantaloupe, orange, etc. Emptying before going to bed will make your child's sleep better. At the same time, tell them that it is normal to go to the toilet. If you want to pee in the middle of the night, you can wake up your parents at any time.
Finally, use picture book stories and other methods to cultivate children's sense of responsibility
After bedwetting, many children will feel ashamed and scared. We can tell them that it’s okay, and then let them participate in the replacement of sheets and cleaning to cultivate their sense of responsibility. Responsibility is the basis for children to face the problem of bedwetting. Only when children are truly aware of their problems can they solve them.
usually use picture books and stories to reduce children's anxiety, let them understand that bedwetting is not a shameful thing, many people will wet the bed, and learn from the picture book what to do after wetting the bed. Such as "Bedwetting God", "Tom Wetting the Bed", "Bedwetting", "Little Canary Wetting the Bed", etc., are some classic picture books about bedwetting.
Bedwetting is a common problem in the growth of children. Although it is a trivial matter, improper handling will also have a great impact on future life. When we find that a child wets the bed, we must treat it with understanding and not beat or scold.
is like Teacher Yin Jianli said: “In education, there are too many such butterfly effects. Parents can solve a trivial matter with a relaxed and happy attitude, and the problem will disappear by itself without even having to solve it.”
What do you do when your child wets the bed? Is it to criticize and punish, or to tolerate understanding?
