Seeing Zhang Ming’s grievances and tearful expressions
Since I am a mother, I have been particularly sensitive to educational topics. While chasing the hit idol drama "Everyone Wants to Meet You" recently, in addition to being excited by the love bubbles of Zhang Zhehan and Zhang Ruonan, they also saw thought-provoking principles of parenting. Li Nanxing in
plays Zhang Zhehan's father. His own biological son was lost when he was young. In order to relieve his wife's pain and maintain the temperature of the family, he adopted a son, Zhang Zhehan. However, the father only uses his son as a tool to develop his career. He asks his son to marry the daughter of another consortium to ensure that his company’s capital chain is not broken. He does not consider whether his son really loves each other, nor does he care about his son because it is serious Does your headache need a break? When the father scolded his son, he didn't show mercy at all. The son didn't even dare to look up at his father and kept away from him.
The son mustered up the courage to get his father's approval: "There are some things, I have my own exam...consideration. Hope, I can trust me..." The eyes with bowed heads humblely begged for his father's trust.
But the father is still persevering and strongly demands his son to obey him. If you don’t obey, you are degrading.
"You are always a bad guy in my eyes."
This sentence is like a needle, deeply hurting his son's self-esteem. Father to son, like superior to inferior, imperatively discipline. However, although there is "management", it has lost the function of "teaching". When my father said these words, besides venting his own anger, what role did he play? Fathers like
are serious lack of emotional management.
Yes. Parents want their children to be better than others, to do everything perfectly, to get everyone's cheers, and to give themselves a face. Is
still human? Is it God? I can't be excellent in everything, so why bother to demand that everything conform to my imagination and everything goes according to my own will.
Don’t forget that your child may be the worst in front of you. The reason why he can show his worst side to you is because you are the one who loves him. He trusts you fully, so he makes no secret of his actions.
But if you only criticize him ruthlessly at this time, I am afraid that he will never dare to behave "poor" in front of you next time, and he will pretend to be "good". But perhaps you have lost all his sincerity and truthfulness in front of you.
In those news, or stories from life, parents force their children to take first place every time. Okay, the child tries to take first place every time, but when you think he can enter the college you dream of for him, he But tore up a piece of notice and jumped up from a tall building...
Maybe parents have their own reasons. For example, Zhang Ming's father in the play.
My son was hospitalized because of allergies, and my mother was too anxious to accompany him. But the father didn't think about taking care of his son as soon as possible. Instead, he educates his mother.
"In order to better fly overhead, and birds in childhood, it is necessary to unplug the first lanugo, so as to grow stronger feathers, to cope with a more powerful storm."
father the truth is perfect, even people without You can't argue with it. Some people will say that the love of the father is deep, and the father wants to be strict with his son so that he can grow stronger. But China’s "implicitness" from ancient times to the present, It's time to change. Love should not be hidden in the heart, in the cold face, it should be encouraged and embraced.
is sensible and reasonable. You must be "compassionate" before you can be "reasonable." No matter how much truth is said, if the child can't feel your temperature, that truth will not enter the heart.
And Zhang Zhehan's biological mother in the play is even more outrageous. Because the husband turned his back on their mother and son, passed on the hatred to the husband's other wife's children, and tried to abandon the children, resulting in the children being lost. But letting his own son replace the identity of another child, which caused Zhang Ming to live a rich life, but his spirit was extremely depressed.
When Zhang Ming learned the truth, his mother carried out moral kidnapping in the name of "for your good". The wishful thinking of
, although it brings money to his son's life, it brings guilt to his life. Is the phrase "for your good" really for him or just for yourself? Is he really willing to accept this "good"?
As parents, are we too familiar with the phrase "good for you". Our parents said this to us, are we saying this to our children the same way now? Mothers like
are serious self-righteous people.
Fortunately, Zhang Ming in the play has a correct view of right and wrong. However, on the one hand, it is the mother who loves herself and loves deeply, and on the other hand is the mistake her mother is making. Is it to report all this to be worthy of her conscience, or to let her mother ignore all this and let her mother get what she wants?
Seeing Zhang Zhehan's heartbroken expression, he had to praise his acting skills. I interpret the feelings of distress, sorrow, and dissatisfaction with my mother, and I really feel sorry for him. Does the guilt-filled love of his mother really make his life easier? !
The parents themselves must first have a correct view of right and wrong. Even if they do not create enough wealth for the child, his spirit is complete and comfortable. How can a child with a sound personality be unable to have enough food and clothing in this society? !
And Tao Lun, the second male in the play, although he can't get the heart of the heroine, he has adopted parents who treat him like a son.
When he tries to find his own biological parents, the adoptive parents in the old-fashioned plot will be obstructive, hoping that he will not find them, but can stay with him forever, thinking that he has to pay for his upbringing grace. get payback.
But when he learned that the hope of retrieving his biological parents was only as small as 1%, he was a little disappointed. I called the adoptive parents and got a response from the adoptive parents, but it was moving.
"Don't worry, my dear. Even if there is only one percent chance, you will get our 100% support. You are not alone, we will always be your parents. If you do, I began to think that one might be a lucky number." The adoptive mother of
said: "Of course, you are a lucky star." The comfort of
, such incomparable trust, is like a spring breeze. This is a kind of strength that can support the child. Dreams and life.
It is even more important to be able to express your love in correct words, let the child hear it, and let the child feel it. It is an ability worthy of our parents to learn.
Children are spending their childhood in a hurry, they have quickened their pace to catch up with others. The world is developing rapidly. Adults have high hopes for children. This pressure slowly penetrates and children feel the most.
So when we run forward, we should use less than batchComment, give them more encouragement and shout "Come on!"
