1. The devil boy came into the world
A few days ago, I watched the trailer of " Nezha: The Devil Boy Comes into the World ". I was in conflict with the image of the devil boy with shark teeth and dark circles.
But after the movie was released, the box office broke 100 million within an hour and a half, 200 million on the first day, 700 million in 3 days, and even Douban scored a high score of 8.7!
I couldn't sit still, so I went to see a night show in the middle of the night. After watching
, Nezha, , with his hands in his pockets, with a smirk on his face, and a cute and cute demo, has been dangling in my mind~
can't help but say "it's him, it's him, it's him", which Zha's image is his ! The magic pill is reincarnated, why don't have a little evil spirit !
The biggest tear in the whole film focuses on two children: Nezha and Ao Bing .
Two children with different qualifications, two different parenting styles, two very different lives.
(there will be spoilers below)
2. Nezha and Ao Bing
Nezha is a "freak", and is not tolerated by the world since birth.
He fights, but the more he fights, the more he will consolidate his image of a "magic boy".
So he laughed at himself: I am a little monster, free and comfortable, killing people without blinking, eating people without salt.
has to endure such prejudice at the age of urinating his pants, which is really distressing.
Facing such a "problem child", Li Jing and his wife were exhausted physically and mentally, but they never gave up.
's father went to heaven to seek medical treatment and medicine. In order to accumulate merit for Nezha, his mother slayed demons and slayers all day long.
In order to let Nezha receive a better education and get rid of the label of devil boy as soon as possible, they find special education ( Taiyi real person ) for their children, which can be said to be heartbroken. (Families like this can be seen everywhere, so it resonates and draws so much box office)
Not only that, but Li Jing in the film also subverts the previous image of "self-righteousness". He tolerates Nezha's demonic side, not only He didn't force Nezha to commit suicide, and he was ready to change his life with and at the critical moment.
Compared with the devil boy Nezha, the reincarnated Ao Bing of Lingzhu can be called a good boy.
He obeyed his father's arrangement and reported his learning progress to his master earnestly. Children like
, supplemented by a good education, the ending will not be too bad.
It's a pity that he has been entrusted by the entire dragon family for thousands of years since he was a child, and he is under pressure that should not be present at this age. So even though he is excellent everywhere, he is not happy.
, especially Wanlongjia, really feels like taking the college entrance examination with the expectations of the whole family. , "We gave you the best, you must pass the test"!
Poor Ao Bing has become a "hostage" of the Dragon Clan!
3. Two ways of parenting, two very different lives
Let's compare these two ways of parenting:
Nezha: The reincarnation of the magic pill, born with ill-will Playing in the mountains and water, let him have a happy childhood?
's father: 's life is short, but I hope he will not bear the infamy of monsters in the future. He has to find a good teacher and let him take the right path.
teacher (Taiyi real person) : has a kind-hearted cannon fodder-type physique, is tricked by his apprentice, never gets angry, and gives him all kinds of cutting-edge equipment. The result of
, magic pill was enlightened .
Ao Bing: Lingzhu is reincarnated with a gentle nature
Father: You are the hope of the dragon family!A word overwhelms a train!
teacher (Shen Gongbao) : The demon clan will not be recognized, the prejudice in people's heart is a big mountain.
results, Lingzhu blackened and hurt .
Under different parenting methods, the devil boy Nezha and the three good boy Ao Bing, like the yin and yang fish in the Tai Chi map, swim to two extremes.
In contrast, Nezha has always been the one who is loved. Whether shows magic or spirituality, is always himself; while Ao Bing, he was born with expectations and responsibilities.
dares to let children be themselves, which is a higher level of education. This kind of parents has a high-level vision and pattern, and the children educated in this way are unique and excellent.
Relatively speaking, the low-level education of will be like a mold that has already been finalized. It frames the children, and the children who are taught in the end are quite satisfactory, and even cannot control their own lives.
4. The devil boy and the "bear boy"
The devil boy Nezha, in reality, is actually a mischievous "bear boy" who causes trouble everywhere.
They are not inherently bad, and they even get into trouble a lot of times out of pure goodness. But they always show their worst side, their stubbornness and intolerable "destructive behavior" often overshadow their advantages, making themselves and the people around them distressed.
As parents, we can see the "bear" side of our child, and we should know why he is a "bear".
From the perspective of child development, children before the age of two will have a lot of "savage and rude" behaviors, such as pulling hair, biting, pushing, and hitting. This kind of "bear" actually enhances the child's self-awareness, but If you don't understand the expression of expression, and the movements are not well developed, it will appear that the is neither light nor heavy.
Harvey Neil Karp, an American child growth expert, once jokingly said: babies will not evolve from "little savages" to "humans" until they are one and a half years old.
As the age grows, there are also some temperamental children. Once they make up their minds, they will not listen to anything.
Psychologist Daniel Gorman uses "neural hijacking" (neural hijacking) to explain this challenging behavior in children. That is to say, after the temper comes up, the child's nerve cells seem to be kidnapped by emotions, and at that moment, his thinking is offline. According to Dr. Ross Green, author of
"Grumpy Kids": Grumpy kids just lack important skills, such as language skills, cognitive flexibility, analytical, problem-solving, and emotional management skills.
In order to make children less tantrums, we need to pay more attention to children's abilities in these areas.
❶ Language skills
Children with weak language skills are more likely to lose their temper, beat and even bite.
gives an inappropriate example, angering this kind of child, like accidentally stepping on the puppy's tail, it will either run away or can only bite you and bark at you.
usually wants to chat more with children. Chat is not only about communication, but also about teaching children to express themselves.
❷ Cognitive Flexibility
Children's stubbornness is largely due to their limited understanding and lack of cognitive flexibility. Their mindset is black and white, with no grey areas.
Nezha won't understand the kindness in him, the contradiction of evil intertwined. So, his parents comforted him: You are Lingzhu .
This is a positive hint to him: You are a good boy, but some of your behaviors are not appropriate, so that the world misunderstands you. In
parenting, it is necessary for us to use the expectation effect , lead the children who admit death to the light.
❸ Ability to analyze problems
When the brain is faced with frustration, the first task is to find the cause of the frustration. Once the cause has been identified, a solution can be planned and possible consequences can be foreseen. If the child can't even analyze the reason, then talk about making up and solving the problem.
Nezha is clearly eager to play with his friends, and obviously eager to be recognized by the people, but since he can't be recognized, he tries his best to avoid it and shows that he doesn't care.
This is called " false alienation " in psychology. This situation is common in childhood. Children try to believe in dependence, but are hurt because of it, and it is easy to become rebellious.
's mother helped him analyze and said: You don't say it on the surface, but you want to be recognized by everyone, don't you?
hit Nezha's mind in one sentence, tore off his protective layer of false alienation, and gave him the courage to face himself.
❹ Ability to manage emotions
Keeping a clear mind is critical when losing your temper.
And it is very difficult for children to achieve emotional separation, they cannot temporarily "set aside" emotions. A study by
found that in normal times, many children have the ability to successfully solve problems, but once they feel frustrated, strong emotions will prevent their ability to play.
At this time, they lost their temper, not because they didn't cooperate, but because they were overwhelmed by the impact of frustration, they couldn't calm themselves down, and they couldn't use reason and wisdom.
5. Summary
Every child is a little Nezha. Sometimes he's smart, sometimes he's stupid.
There is no perfect child, but every child has great potential. Nezha 's powerful aggressiveness is terrifying destructive power, isn't it also the combat power of talent?
understands children, knows what is normal in his growth; tolerates children, keeps making mistakes, which is an inevitable course of children's growth.
dares to let the child be himself, can guide him to develop his strengths and avoid his weaknesses in a way suitable for children, so that he can become a better self.
Parenting is a practice for parents. hopes that every child can win love and tolerance, and be a better self! ◈
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