"Wait for a thousand years, wait for a second;
wait a thousand years, I have no regrets!" A sung classic.
Gao Shengmei , the singer of the song " Millennium Waiting for a Time ", was once known as " Teresa Teng's successor " when it was the most popular, and is also a resident female singer of Qiong Yao drama. Since her debut, she has released 59 albums and more than 600 singles.
But now, the singing is still classic, but the stage left for her has changed.
53-year-old Gao Shengmei was photographed singing on an outdoor stage in the countryside in her outdated costumes.
Seeing this, many netizens regretted that the "Queen of Sweet Songs" of the year was unable to escape the downfall of middle-aged people.
But Gao Shengmei said bluntly: This is her life's choice.
fell from the peak, why can she be so transparent?
had an unfortunate childhood, but
became famous because of an accident.
Because of this half non-aboriginal blood, the whole family can't get the discounts and subsidies it should have. Therefore, Gao Shengmei has experienced the hardships of life since childhood.
relies on her father's monthly salary of less than 500 yuan to support a family of 6; as the youngest child, she has never tasted the taste of being pampered; the 6 people are crowded on a broken tatami , in the next room There is still a coffin; if you can't pay the rent, you have to be evicted by the landlord in the middle of the night.
"I am a child without a home", this fear is deeply imprinted in Gao Shengmei's heart.
So, she never knew what a princess dream was, and she just wanted to earn money to support her family.
In 1985, 16-year-old Gao Shengmei accompanied a friend to an interview with a record company. Unexpectedly, her friend lost the election, but she was caught by the boss of Shangge Records, and her fate was completely reversed. When
signed the contract, the company promised to give her 100,000 for a record.
For Gao Shengmei, who is afraid of poverty, this is a lot of money. So she worked tirelessly, recording record after record.
However, as Gao Shengmei became more and more popular, she realized that she had been "pit". For the first time in many years, she understood that singers could get royalties for singing.
During the 10-year contract period, Gao Shengmei sang hundreds of songs and sold millions of albums. The copyright fee is said to be tens of millions, but the company did not give her a cent.
So when the contract expired, she chose to leave.
But she still has a grateful heart for Shangge.
As she said: If there is no high grade, there will be no Gao Shengmei today, so it is not particularly unbalanced.
fate gave her good and bad, she readily accepted. It seems to be a compromise, but in fact there is a relaxation and goodwill in the heart.
Huang Han said: Relaxation is the ultimate acceptance of self, because knowing who you are, naturally, doing what you need to do. WaitWait for it to come true.
does not strive for right or wrong, nor does she blame others. This powerful heart and understanding allows Gao Shengmei to easily untie herself from the past and move forward indifferently with the waves of life.
went to a low point,
calmly danced with the fate of the upstream
and Shangge terminated the contract, Gao Shengmei signed a new record company.
But she didn't create another miracle when she started again. Her records were no longer selling as well as before, and Gao Shengmei, who was on the decline, began to turn to commercial performances. She does not reject all kinds of corners and corners on the fringe stage.
is not less criticized for this reason: eating on the ground, not thinking about progress, sitting on the mountain. He was even scolded as "strange facelift" and "horrifying face".
In the face of all kinds of bad comments, Gao Shengmei is very calm and will not make too many explanations in order to cater to and please, and she will take it seriously no matter how small the stage is.
"I sing everything, and I also go to some remote villages in Xinjiang."
When someone asked her, is there a psychological gap from "Little Teresa Teng" to when no one cares?
Gao Shengmei responded generously and made no secret of her need for money:
"I still need to live, and I also need to support my mother. It's not ashamed to go out and perform to make money. No matter what kind of stage, you should try to show your best state."
If the trajectory of life is destined to be a wavy line, Gao Shengmei has seen through its undulating nature, so that she can ignore the worldly vision, insist on herself, and gain inner freedom and harmony.
The second half of life,
Unhappiness stems from confrontation and anxiety
Therefore, men are trembling, for fear that they will fail in middle age; women are even more afraid to stop, for fear that people will come out to seek life when they are old.
As Xu Zhiyuan said: We live in an age of inner panic.
In fact, sometimes the more we fight, the faster the energy of life is consumed.
Stop and take a look, what are you fighting against?
may be your fears, desires, face, and inner insecurities.
Now, if you feel that your life is very painful and tense every day, it is because your inner true self is repeatedly pulling and struggling with external judgment standards.
You keep saying to yourself: If I don't work hard to achieve my goals, people will look down on me, so I have to do my best.
That's it, most of us are wearily persevering under the mundane standards, and dare not easily "admit counsel".
And someone at the Qihua Conference once said: "Admitting counsel" is not admitting defeat, nor giving up, it is a positive self-awareness.
This means that you will no longer need to wear a fake mask to defend all the time, you will live a very simple, real life and know how to connect with your own heart.
Properly "confessing counsel" is precisely an effective way to get more psychological energy.
Between "fighting" and "cowardly",
live out his own rhythm If you rush forward, the wave will hit you head-on;
But if you can "lower your posture" and adapt to everything around you, you can ride the waves with a lighter attitude.
However, there will always be many people who feel uncontrollably anxious, restless, and distressed when the tide hits.
American psychologist Hayes proposed "ACT therapy" (ie: Acceptance Commitment Therapy), which encourages everyone to embrace their true thoughts and feelings, rather than feel struggling or ashamed of them.
So, no matter where you are in your life right now, the first thing you need to do is:
Fully embrace where you are, then do the following exercise:
Step 1: Stand on the sidelines and ask yourself :
What keeps you at war with life and can't relax?
Can your current state help you live the life you want?
then slowly let go of the distracting thoughts, accept the part that you can't control, and try to live peacefully with it.
Step 2: Establish your own value system.
Try to think about it: what is it that can bring you true inner happiness and satisfaction?
When you are aware, you need to pay attention to whether your inner self is disturbed by those mundane voices.
The third step, continue to explore the depths of the heart.
If you have been able to not be easily influenced by others, then please continue to think:
If something painful in the past happened to you again, how would you think differently?
Where is your passion?
What is the life you really want to live?
What do you hope to accomplish in these decades of life?
Based on the above self-question and answer, give yourself a solemn commitment and take action in the rest of your life.
Don't underestimate this answer, it is the truest self that you gradually see through exploration layer by layer, and it contains a powerful life force. Let you know how to place yourself no matter what age and situation you are in.
People's life is a process of accumulating various experiences. In a fast-paced life, you may need some relaxation and more casualness.
As the 92-year-old psychologist Grandma Hengzi said:
It is better to go with the flow than to blame others. When the waves of life hit, may you live transparently.
Planning | Qiuqiu
Editing | Kiwi
