The original book of "Gone Children": Three groups of families, none of which are normal

2022-09-13 12:18:17 movie 686℃

can't wait for the update of Mango TV, I can only read the original.

"The Disappearing Child" is based on the novel "Sea Anemone" by Becker Bang. tells the story of redemption and redemption between a group of children who have long lacked the company of their original family and their parents. The

TV series is quite in line with the original book. After reading the original book, I will still watch the TV series again. Looking at

together, this drama also made me have some reflections: As parents, what kind of educational environment should we give our children? What kind of person do you want your child to be? What kind of help can we give them as they grow up?

There are three groups of families most obviously in "The Disappearing Child": The first group is Yang Yuan, Tao Fang and Yang Mo's family of three; the second group is the single-parent family of Xu Anzheng and Xu Enhuai; the third group is Yuan Wu and his father's "" Depend on each other.”

Yang Yuan, Tao Fang and Yang Mo's family of three appear to be a very happy family on the surface, but in fact? There is a suffocating Chinese-style mother and a middle-aged father who is under a lot of work pressure. The couple also quarrel about their children's studies all day. Yang Mo's academic performance is very poor, which makes Tao Fang anxious. He is in the third grade of primary school, but compared to children of the same age, Yang Mo is more like a child who has not yet graduated from kindergarten.

Who doesn't want to have a kid who excels in school?

is like Yang Yuan. When he thinks of Enhuai's focus on reading, he will lose his mind - Why are other people's children so sensible? If Xiao Mo is half as good as her, then thank God.

Yang Yuan's parents at this stage are very easy to rely on grades. Because their children are not good at learning, they will envy those parents who have good academic performance. The main source of conflict between them and their children is their children's academic performance. But the question is, have you seen behind the scenes, is the child's academic performance really good?

Yang Mo is the representative of bad students;

Yuan Wu and Enhuai are representatives of good students. Compared to

, Yang Mo is more pure and relatively happy. As for Yuan Wu, he was a tragedy in himself. He lived a very unsuccessful life. He had the most brilliant moments in his life. Unfortunately, after his mother died, he lost everything. He also gave up on himself and lived like a corpse.

Enhuai, if you don't know her, you will think she is very good, once you know her, you will think this girl is terrible and pitiful. The three children,

, have nothing to do with the word "happiness". I see the color of tragedy in them, especially Yuan Wu, which makes people feel helpless and hate that iron is not steel, and feel very sorry and sigh. But what is the root of all this? their respective families of origin.

Why did Yang Mo disappear?

"The Disappearing Child" begins with Yang Mo's bizarre disappearance.

Where did Yang Mo go? Was he kidnapped?

is not, but he hid in Enhuai's house with the key of Enhuai himself.

Yang Mo particularly likes puppies. His mother Tao Fang felt that keeping a dog was too much of a delay in studying, so he asked Yang Yuan to give away the dog at home. Once they went to Xitian Mountain House in Beihu, where Yang Mo adopted a puppy named "Mo Yuan". He really wanted to see Mo Yuan, but he was rejected again and again. The disappearance of Yang Mo was because he had discussed with Enhuai that he would go alone to see Mo Yuan.

Yang Mo's disappearance also began to make Yang Yuan reflect: What's the point of a nine-year-old child attending so many messy training classes? Can he really accept such complicated information?

Are children like Yang Mo really bad when they grow up?

Whether the academic performance is excellent, can it determine a person's life?

Yang Yuan and Tao Fang are both rightYang Mo has high hopes, but unlike other children, Yang Mo is too dependent on his parents to face the passage of time independently. Yang Mo even hates studying a little bit. He always likes to procrastinate in doing things, and he is not so serious. Tao Fang has packed the training class, but how much can Yang Mo absorb?

blindly only "achievement theory", is it really for the sake of children?

There is nothing else but study, even a dog will delay your study and cause you to lose your mind. Tao Fang didn't really get to know Yang Mo. She was kind to Yang Mo in her own way. She seemed to have paid a lot, but it was easy to go the opposite way, because Yang Mo was forced, not willing to accept it.

Tao Fang's suffocation made her relationship with her child very tense, and indirectly led to Yang Mo's disappearance.

Is Enhuai the child you want?

Enhuai has excellent academic performance. She is the first in grade. She is very independent. She goes to and from school by herself and takes care of herself. Her father Xu An didn't care about her. He was very busy with work and often came back late. Enhuai sometimes sits in the corridor after school without her keys and waits for her father to come home. She reads a book while waiting. She is so sensible that it makes people feel distressed. She also met Yang Yuan's family because she was sitting in the corridor waiting.

Enhuai envy Yang Mo very much, envy Yang Mo for having such a good-tempered father, envy Yang Mo for having a complete family, envy Yang Mo for being picked up every day and caring. Yang Mo's academic performance is not good, but he has love. Enhuai even thought that it would be nice if she was Yang Mo. A child like her, plus Yang Mo's parents, is a truly excellent family.

Enhuai is very introverted. She doesn't deal with classmates very much and is used to being alone.

You don't need to worry about a child like Enhuai, but is a child like Enhuai what you want?

It's not a good thing for a child to be too independent at an inappropriate age. How did Enhuai become independent in the original work of

"When I was a kid, other children had to wear diapers for their naps in kindergarten, so I washed my clothes by myself. Then I went to elementary school, and I got up every day to make breakfast. My mother was worried about the gas leak and hid under the quilt to watch me. 2nd grade When I had a fever, I went to the hospital to get the drip, and then walked back alone, and later found that my mother was far behind."

The mother deliberately trained to make Enhuai overly precocious, without the vitality that a child should have. . The reason why her mother cultivated her to be stoic and independent is to be able to leave her as soon as possible one day. Mother didn't think about taking Enhuai with her. She didn't love Enhuai so much. When she divorced Xu Anzheng, neither of them wanted Enhuai. Is

Enhuai not good enough? Is

Enhuai not sensible enough?

is not, but they are not qualified as parents, they do not love children, they treat children as a burden .

Not all parents love their children, some couples have emotional problems, and they themselves have mental illnesses. Enhuai was never born with parental love and motherly love. When she was very young, her mother often took her to the rocks and looked at it all day, because in that noisy environment, the cry of the child could not be heard. of.

Mother dislikes her very much and doesn't love her, so does her father. Enhuai has always been a loner, but she is very eager for her father's love and mother's love. She envy Yang Mo very much. His grades are not good, why should he have What about his parents who were so good to him? Does Yang Mopei have it all?

The Fall of Yuan Wu, the "Pride of Heaven"

Yuan Wu is a child of someone else's family. In the original book, his score in the college entrance examination is as high as 695, and his mathematics score in the college entrance examination is a perfect score. He was admitted to a famous university. Logically speaking, he should have a very bright life. Yuan Wu should be the child everyone wants. However, Yuan Wu also has his extremely dark side.

Yuan Wu is too obedient, he has no opinion of his own, his strong mother is only academic, he is like a puppet.

Yuan Wu is very dependent on his mother, except for the study, which is done by himself, the restAll at the discretion of the mother. His mother cut him off from all contact with the outside world, and he didn't socialize until college, which she felt was a waste of time. Three meals a day are prepared by his mother, he doesn't need to make any decisions, he just needs to study hard.

After going to college, Yuan Wu felt that he was out of tune with his classmates.

He is not so good at interacting with people. His mother helps him analyze the psychological characteristics of his classmates, and let him get close to whom and whom he alienates. Including his later blind date and marrying a wife, he also practiced many times according to his mother's wishes, and married the girl his mother liked. In the eyes of others, his life was perfect, but with the death of his mother, Yuan Wu fell into the abyss step by step.

For a long time, Yuan Wu was his mother who arranged everything for him. When his mother died, he was at a loss.

Yuan Wu can only go to gambling, gambling can let him escape from reality and forget everything.

Yuan Wu also suffered from " neurosis ", was fired by the company, and owed a lot of gambling debts. If his wife left, his father sold two houses to pay off his gambling debts. I thought I could start over in another place, but Yuan Wu still didn't know how to get up.

After his father's long-term alcoholism and sudden death in his sleep, Yuan Wu was even more at a loss. The only solution he could think of was to hide his father, and then he could continue to live on his father's pension. He desperately hid his cards, told lie after lie, and finally made a big mistake.

three families, none of them are normal.

We often mention 's original family , saying that the tragedy of the problem children is caused by the original family, but how should we educate our children? Is learning the most important thing? Now it’s all so complicated, have you become a grade-only parent, and are you often troubled by your children’s studies?

Do you really want to have an obedient child with good academic performance? Are kids like

really okay?

I recommend that parents check out the original novel "The Anemone" from The Vanishing Child. After reading it, think about it and reflect on your child's education.

What kind of love should we give our children? To be meticulous? Or let him be independent? Or force him to study every day? What kind of person do you want your child to be? Do you think your child is mentally healthy?

Children's main task is to learn, but it does not mean that they become a machine for inputting knowledge data. As human beings, as children, parents turn a blind eye to their demands and hopes, thereby obliterating their love for life.

should give children love, guide them to become people with independent personalities, respect their demands and listen to their voices. You can't just rely on grades, but you should pay more attention to their mental health.

A child like Yuan Wu is a tragedy;

and kindness, if no one guides him, it will also be a tragedy.

As for Yang Mo, if he really doesn't like studying and he is so good at painting, there may be other ways to go.

Don't be too anxious, give your children some space, and give them normal loving care and company.