Guide: I’m 34 years old and have been a single mother for 3 years. I want to give some advice to women who bring a baby by themselves after divorce.
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There is no doubt that the life of a single mother is not easy. The basic situation of a single mother is usually: holding the baby in one hand and busy with work in the other hand.
Their only belief is to hope that children can grow up happily, and raising children is their greatest achievement.
After divorce, women with children will indeed be under a lot of pressure, especially when parents and relatives have no help but can only rely on themselves. Perhaps only the people concerned know the painful days best.
However, life is like this. Since I chose to divorce, maybe I have all this in my heart, and the life from now on can only live by myself. The life of
divorced women is not easy, but there is no way. If you want a better life, there is no other way than forcing yourself to work hard.
Li Xiao is a 34-year-old single mother. She has been a single mother for three years. Compared with the situation three years ago, she has changed a lot now. Below
, I will describe her story from a first-person perspective and provide some advice through her mouth to women who are bringing children alone after divorce.
01
I was 31 years old 3 years ago. For a woman, it is not very honorable to choose a divorce at this age.
But when the marriage is over, facing a man who doesn't love him, there is no hope in the future. Instead of choosing to compromise, it is better to choose a divorce.
This is what I thought at the time. Therefore, I decided to divorce without hesitation. Why is
divorced? I have two main reasons: First, the ex-husband betrayed the marriage, not once but married many times. At the beginning I chose to forgive, and he also said to correct, but I want to correct. It's sad to wait. For him, I don't want to say more. The second reason for the divorce is that my in-laws treated me badly, especially my mother-in-law. There are always conflicts between me and her. The ex-husband doesn't care at all. I have been trying to integrate into this family, but my mother-in-law is too strong.
Based on these two points, I cannot find the warmth of my family in this home, nor can I get the love that my wife deserves. How can a family like
have a future?
Therefore, I think twice and finally choose to end my marriage for more than 5 years. I divorced my ex-husband with my 4-year-old daughter. When
got divorced, although according to the agreement, he got some support. But our home is actually not rich. Therefore, my life after the divorce is also very difficult. When
got divorced, although according to the agreement, he got some support. But our home is actually not rich. Therefore, my life after the divorce is also very difficult.
02
After the divorce, I did not choose to return to the family where I was just born. I know in my heart: If I go back, it will cause more trouble for my parents.
My parents live in a family of brother and sister. My brother is not married yet. I am a married daughter. My parents want to help me, but the relationship between my sister and me is not good. Based on this, I don't want to embarrass my parents.
So after the divorce, my children and I rented a house. My daughter is 4 years old and has been in kindergarten for a year, which is also very wise.
I found a new job. In terms of time, I can set aside time to take care of my daughter.
In this way, my daughter and I started our lives.
I am taking a child by myself, and what I fear most is: I am sick or the child is sick, I am sick, no one takes care of the child, the child is sick, he is very busy.
In the past three years, I have experienced many such things during this period. Fortunately, there are still some friends who do well and they will help you.
If I don't even have friends, I can't even think about it. In other words, friends are unwilling to help, and I don't know how to get through.
one kind of sadness, one kindhelpless. I cannot describe it in words.
03
"I am 34 years old this year and have been a single mother for 3 years. I would like to give some advice to women who have children alone after divorce." Generally speaking, there are three suggestions.
I remember one year after the divorce, I did not pay a salary at once, and the previous money was almost used up. My child wants to study and cannot spend that much money temporarily.
I was thinking about seeking help from my ex-husband. But when I called him to borrow money, he said: "Now I know I regret that I can lend you money. But I just want you to know if you leave me, there is nothing. There is sufficient Reason. After all, that is my daughter." These words of
made me very uncomfortable.
I am not a last resort and will not ask him for help. After
experienced this incident, I said to myself: Don't have any hope for my ex-husband.
I thought at the time that I was the father of the child after all, so he should be happy to help in this regard. Although he eventually helped, what he said to me was a kind of "sarcasm."
Maybe some single mothers have experienced more misfortune.
Anyway, what I want to say is that after a divorce, you should treat your children well, don’t abuse your children, and don’t have hope for your ex-husband. Everything depends on you. After
experienced this, I worked very hard, because in the first year of the divorce, my work had been very unstable and the expenses were also very high, and that period was the most difficult.
Fortunately, I finally solved it. In the second year of the divorce, I remained stable in all aspects. A divorced man in the unit said that he liked me and chased me.
To be honest, I once wanted to develop with him, but then I refused.
I know in my heart that although I am very stable now, I still don't have the ability to protect my daughter's future life. Therefore, I can't be distracted. I must work hard for my daughter's future wholeheartedly.
Also, this person is actually bad for my daughter. Based on this,
is not worthy of socializing.
Indeed, for women who divorce their children, even if they choose to remarry, the most important consideration is the issue of children. Everything must protect the rights of children.
This cannot be let go easily. This is the bottom line.
For me, my daughter is the most important thing. I will not consider other things for the time being. After the divorce, I have become more and more aware that I can only live safely and comfortably. After
divorced, I went back to my parents’ home several times, but they didn’t stay for long.
I know in my heart that going back alone will cause trouble to my parents, even if I am very cautious, it still causes trouble to my parents.
I remember once, I took my daughter home. My parents are very happy, but my very son is very unhappy. She thought I was depressed now, and I wanted to "take advantage" when I came back. It’s not good for my face.
At that time, I was still a little depressed, and I couldn’t do without the shadow of divorce. My mother might have seen it too. At that time, my parents defended me, which made it possible for my sister to be unhappy. In this way, there was a conflict between them.
I am a filial person. The last thing I want to see is the conflict between my parents and my sister.
Therefore, after encountering this situation, I rarely return to my birthplace.
In any case, it is not easy for a divorced woman to take a child alone, but I really have to be careful about returning to family. Of course, everyone’s specific situation is different, and there is no need to choose the same as me. However, in this matter , We need to think more.
04
Only they know the inner pain of single mothers, and only those who have really experienced it can understand the difficulties of single mothers.
Li Xiao's three suggestions are worth learning for women who have children alone after divorce.
Of course, everyone's specific situation is different, so you must choose your own life plan according to your actual situation.
Generally speaking, no matter what you do, you must consider your children and yourself. No matter what you do, the main purpose is to make yourself and your children better and better.
Yes, this is a main premise. Only by mastering this most basic knowledge can we truly overcome difficulties. Of course, if you want to achieve all of these, the most important thing is to work hard by yourself.
Although it is not easy to be a single mother, if you want to live on, you will be happier. Life is like this. The harder you are, the happier you will be. Today's topic of
: What should single mothers pay attention to in life? Welcome to discuss!
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