saw this sentence: Twenty-seven years after being separated from the first love at the age of seventeen, each went through ups and downs, and then walked around together and came to the same place for a photo. People who are destined to be together will finally meet again, and there is no better love in life than this. I can't help but feel a little bit shy, thinking of me and Sunan, it's the same.
1
It is strange to say that the first time I met Sunan, I was in a dream.
has to start with Yang Xiaoguo. Yang Xiaoguo is a talented man in our drama club. He can write plays and write poems. Yang Xiaoguo has a wide range of hobbies, except for love. This Yang Xiaoguo, who never believed in love, came to chat with me one day lonely and sad, and said that he was drinking with a frustrated buddy on the playground of Peking University. This buddy has a girl who has been ambiguous for a year, and he feels that he wins When Choi shook his hand to confess, he was actually rejected. The buddy Yang Xiaoguo said was Sunan, and he got himself drunk on the playground. After
, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was looking for someone in a strange place. A boy in a yellow jacket and black-rimmed glasses came towards me. I knew he was Sunan, even though I was from I haven't seen him, just heard his name from Yang Xiaoguo's mouth, but in our dreams, we were like two people who had been agreed long ago. There was no strangeness or embarrassment. I said, "Sunan, hello. "The strange dream of
made me wonder for a long time. I gave myself a psychological hint because of the curse that my parents chanted when I was a child, "You have to study hard, and when you grow up, you will be admitted to Tsinghua University." However, when I met Sunan for the first time, I realized that it has nothing to do with appearance or education, just because Sunan is Sunan. It’s like you have set for yourself what your ideal Mr. Right should look like, and when he does appear, all those set conditions and requirements have been denied by yourself, and there is a calling voice in your heart. Tell you: Yes, the person you are looking for is him.
I met Sunan at an event party. After Sunan followed Yang Xiao, I started to lose my mind. He looked the same in my dreams, his eyes were gentle, not handsome, and ugly. When I turned my head on the balcony and ran into his smiling eyes at me, I knew that something would happen to me and him.
A few days after he approached me, I asked him: "Do you like me?" He was dumbfounded by my question. He was stunned for a long time and nodded: "Will you be with me then? "
So, I just stayed with Sunan. I'm the kind of person who likes you and you don't need to chase, and if you don't like you, it's useless to chase after. So when I asked Sunan "Do you like me", the implication was "I like you, idiot".
2
On May 12, 2008, the Wenchuan earthquake occurred, 14:28:04 that destroyed countless lives. When the earth was shaking and the mountains were shaking, I was teaching children in an elementary school in a small town in Sichuan. It was a week-long teaching activity organized by the school club. The place where I was was still a little away from the source of the earthquake, but I also felt a strong tremor. The chalk boxes and books on the lecture table were shaken to the ground, and the doors and windows made a sound as if they would crack at any time.
The children ran out in a panic. All the students and teachers gathered on the playground. Everyone was making noise and discussing what had happened. One of the experienced teachers said it should be an earthquake. Fortunately, the classrooms in the school are the kind of stacked bungalows, only one side of the classroom wall shows signs of collapse. After a while, the school broadcast informed that the Wenchuan earthquake had occurred, and all teachers and students were moved to the dam in the town.
At that time, the dam was already full of people, and everyone was talking about it. I took my mobile phone out of my pocket. There was no signal. Some people began to make an anxious call, but the signal was interrupted. It wasn't until the evening when I received the first call. Throughout the afternoon, Sunan went crazy looking for me, wishing to fly to me from Beijing. In fact, he did.
Three days later, Sunan flew from Beijing to Chengdu, and then took a bus from Chengdu to the county town where the town is located. The Sunan I saw came here in a car that delivered relief supplies from the county.
Actually, my town is not the hardest-hit area, and there are almost no casualties. However, for safety reasons, everyone moved out of the bungalows one after another. The whole really looked like an orderly refugee camp. It was in this refugee camp that I met Sunan.
I was fetching water when he called me, and I was shocked when I got up and turned my head to see him. The bucket fell on the ground with a "bang", splashing water on the ground, and it wetted me and his trousers.
As soon as I uttered my scream, I covered it with my hands. I was afraid of attracting other people's eyes. I lowered my voice and asked, "Why are you here?" He suddenly took me into his arms: "I'm afraid Losing you." On New Year's Eve of
, I took this man who had experienced life and death with me home for the New Year. We went for a walk by the river. The adults and children by the river were holding various fireworks and firecrackers. The sky was full of crackling fires. Sunan and I sat on the riverbank and watched the fireworks set by others. , Carrying the same romantic feelings.
Sunan bought two wishing lamps. We each wrote down our wishes on them. We didn't tell each other. Sunan said, wait until whose wish is fulfilled and then tell each other. I'm afraid it won't work. As soon as the wishing lamp was released, Sunan yelled to the sky. Even though the sound of fireworks and firecrackers was all around, Sunan’s voice was still clearly distinguishable. He said, "I have never been so happy."
3
graduated from university. , My dream of reunion with Sunan still has not been realized. Sunan went to Shenzhen, and I stayed in Chongqing to work. I live alone in a 30-square-meter apartment with elevator. I am afraid when I am alone, so I dare not close the curtains even when I go to bed at night. I need a little outside light to shine in. In the middle of the hot and humid summer night, every time I wake up from the heat, hold a cup and gulp water, stand barefoot on the balcony on the 26th floor and let the evening breeze blow, I always miss the far away in Shenzhen. Sunan, then would not feel so lonely.
On National Day, I flew to Shenzhen to meet Sunan. He lives in the employee dormitory arranged by the company. At the end of the dark corridor, there are four bunk beds in the room. The rooms are messy and piled up with various things. The sweaty clothes are even more unpleasant in the humid climate in the south. . I looked at everything in front of me, tears welled up.
Sunan wiped away my tears and comforted me: "This is only temporary, I will find a way to transfer to Chongqing as soon as possible."
I nodded and immediately helped Sunan clean up the room. And when I was packing up, I found something unexpectedly. It was a document in a file bag. I saw that Sunan had applied for a graduate student in a university in the United States. Sunan snatched it and threw it into the trash can.
"Why are you giving up studying in the U.S.?" I picked up the paper bag from the trash can, and my voice began to tremble because I couldn't believe this sudden fact.
"That was my dream before meeting you. After meeting you, my dream is to give you happiness." Sunan said. He said so calmly, but my heart can no longer be calm.
For a long time, my wish was to be with Sunan, but I ignored that Sunan also had his own dream. After leaving Shenzhen, I struggled for several days and nights, and finally said to Sunan: "Sunan, let’s break up."
4
April 21, 2012, Chengdu Sports Center, Sunan and I were sitting on the periphery. In the stands, the people around were cheering with glow sticks, singing rhythmically: "We looked at the stars that year, there were so many brilliant dreams, thinking that happiness would last forever, like the unchanging starry sky accompanied me..."
This is Sunan’s last request for the breakup, which is to accompany him to a concert on Mayday that he loves. Sunan shot all this with DV. The habit that Sunan and I kept after being together is that every time we travel together, Sunan will use video to record.
He said, wait until the day we get married, we will show it. I said, okay, a large group of people will definitely be moved by then.
We have imagined a lot of wedding scenes, and I still want to make up enough coins for a dime given by ninety different people. The day I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to collect the certificate, there was a shop on that table, all for us to get the certificate. The money is so cool. But we all know that all this will become an untouchable fantasy after this night.
The train from Chengdu back to Chongqing originally only took two hours, but that night was as long as a lifetime. Sunan and I stood looking at each other in a narrow space in the aisle of the carriage. Outside is the sound of wind whizzing by, and the city on the roadside is still lit with sporadic lights. Sunan, who stands opposite me, no longer has the spirited spirits he had when he just graduated from university, and his deep face is sadness that does not belong to his age.
"Su Nan." I called him softly, and his red eyes greeted him. The pale lights in the swaying carriage made people feel a kind of precarious and rootless confusion.
"Southern Jiangsu, if this train had an accident tonight, what would we do?"
"I will protect you to survive, if not, then die with you."
However, we are not dead. , Life still has to go on. Sunan finally got an offer from the American university and flew to the palace of his dreams.
5
In 2013, when I was in Beijing, I went to Peking University by myself. Sitting on a bench by the Weiming Lake, I saw boys and girls walking hand in hand. I remembered the winter a few years ago on the lakeside of this campus, and also in South Jiangsu. Walked by holding my hand like this.
I couldn't help but send a message to Sunan on the other side of the ocean.
"Sunan, what wish did you write on the wishing lamp that year's New Year's Eve?"
"I wrote that I must make you my bride."
"You know what, I wrote that I hope to realize Su Written by the south." The roads that
have walked together, the concerts they have seen, and the fireworks on the sidelines are all so far away that they have become memories of previous lives. Because of love, so fulfilled. Even if I can't be with you, I hope you can be what you want.
I got up and wrapped my coat tightly and left.
Beijing can be really cold in winter.
If the story ends here, how sad it would be, even I think, whether our story ends here.
Fortunately, there is still time for this thing, which gives us the opportunity to revise some of the misses; fortunately, there is also the destiny of fate. People who are destined to be together will eventually meet even after a long circle. In the three years since
and Sunan were separated, I also talked about a new relationship, holding an attitude of getting married. As for love, it seems to me that it has become a long-standing thing. That kind of shocking feeling is just a history frozen in my heart. In the second year of
, my family began to introduce me to various blind dates, but I refused for various reasons. If I couldn't refuse, I would give a face to see. The strange man sat opposite me. I tried to find something similar to Sunan in his conversation and behavior. No, oh, then I would say "contact again" politely. Then a person walked on the busy street, vaguely saw him just across the street, and disappeared in a trance.
I know I still can't forget Sunan. In every helpless night and lonely night, I will think of him, wondering if he who I am missing is also thinking of me, and then silently wiped the tears. Every day when
and Sunan are separated, it is like counting the days. I don't know what I am waiting for. Maybe I am waiting for an answer. Maybe we will wait until he comes back to me, maybe until he has another beautiful partner, only then can we really come to the end.
On New Year’s Eve of the third year, as usual every New Year’s Eve, I squeezed the Spring Festival holiday home from another country to celebrate the New Year. On the night of the Lunar New Year's Day, every household played the Spring Festival Gala. My parents are playing mahjong next door, and my sister and I are eating on the TV. As it approached zero, the crackling firecrackers outside began to sound. It was in such a noisy and messy scene that I received the call that changed the emotional direction of my life. The
call is from Sunan.
"You come downstairs," he said. This is simply his usual style, but it still surprised me.
"Are you downstairs? Are you back?" For three years, every Spring Festival I deliberately ask if he has returned to China, but it seems that he has never come back.
put down the phone, I hugged my sister and took a bite, and my sister yelled: "You are crazy, are you a dog? It hurts."
"It hurts, then I'm not dreaming." Then I put on my coat and ran out, ran to the door and returned to the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. I saw myself in the mirror. Three years have passed. Well, fortunately, I am not old yet.
He was standing under the street lamp of my building. That was his old place to pick me up. We met here countless times.
The light hit his face. He was wearing a black woolen coat. He was still so ugly and ugly. He felt that his numb heart was pounding again. There are people who are so familiar. First lovefeel.
"Let's go, take you to set off the fireworks." He took out a bag from behind, filled with fireworks. We went to the bank of the river, he put it there, and I watched it aside.
If you love someone, you will be peaceful and happy even if you look at him.
"I want to tell you something." He sat next to me and said to me, very serious. The expression on
made me scared, I was scared of his seriousness, because I was scared of what he said I didn't want to hear. In fact, I also vaguely heard from others that he dated a girl in the United States. I was afraid that he would tell me this time he came to say goodbye to me. I turned my head to express that I didn't want to listen to him, but he turned me around. He held my face in both hands, stared at me for a moment, and then kissed deeply.
The kiss, one year passed.
"I fell in love after I heard that you were in love, but it still feels wrong, and it won't take long to talk about it," Sunan said.
"Then why do you think you are still willing to talk to you when you come back this time? You kissed me like this, don't you feel a little overbearing?"
"Will you still follow me?"
"Yes."
" I have to go back and finish the last two years of my studies. Are you willing?"
"Take the certificate first, I am here waiting for you to come back." I just finished speaking, and Sunan took a bite in my arms.
"Are you crazy, are you a dog? It hurts."
"Does it hurt, then I'm not dreaming."
Someone said that a person dreamed in a dream should go to see him when you wake up. People who can't forget after going through the mountains and rivers should go to him when they come back. If everything is still too late, you should try.
Love, it is inevitable that you will take some detours to find the right way to achieve happiness, but fortunately you are still there, and fortunately I have no chance.
I want to thank Sunan for being braver than me.
