recently used to chase after dinner, has finally come to an end. In the beginning, I went to Tan Songyun. But then he was attracted by the family affection of Li Jianjian played by Tan Songyun. This affectionate family drama has cured everyone who has been injured. Next, I will talk about my feelings from three aspects, hoping to give you warm comfort.
You are not someone else’s medicine, and others are not your medicine.
In "In the Name of Family", there is an episode of Jianjian and Ling Xiao running at night. Ling Xiao said that since childhood, Jianjian has been his heart medicine. For Ling Xiao, who was abandoned by his mother since he was a child, the sharp point brought a lot of warmth to his gloomy life. It was the tip that supported Ling Xiao during the dark years of living overseas with her mother. This made Ling Xiao slowly develop a deep love for Pointy.
The eldest brother after returning from adulthood will confess whenever he has a chance. "You are my medicine" is very romantic at first glance. But when I think about it, that's not the case. Because the implicit message in this sentence is: Only you can save my pain; I can't live without you. Later when Ling Xiao had a temper with Jian Jian, he angrily said that Jian Jian's love for him was pitiful, and questioned Jian Jian's heart that there was still a little brother He Ziqiu.
Think about it, is it a bit scary? Can we really be the "medicine" for others? Sometimes, we can't even take care of ourselves, how can we save others? Not only that, but there is a bit of "emotional control" in this sentence. In real life, we have seen cases of suicide after breaking up too many times.
who regard love as the only person often cannot get good love. needs to know clearly that love is not the only one in life. In addition to it, there are many things we can do. Take a job that you like, cultivate an interest that you are willing to pay for, have a partner who unconditionally supports you, give wholeheartedly to your family, and so on. It is these that together constitute our complete life.
only stares at love, the most likely result is to become a love brain. Once we break up, I feel so painful, I just want to be saved. The cruel truth is that no one can save you except yourself. In love, everyone is an independent individual. 's mature concept of love should be like this: I am not getting better because of you, but I am already good because you are better.
Love is a matter for two people, but marriage is a matter for the two families.
When Ling Xiao’s mother Chen Ting learned of the sharp identity, she thwarted in every possible way. Chen Ting's desire for control is too strong. Ling Xiao suffers from depression, and Chen Ting bears great responsibility. Ling Xiao often had nightmares, it was her mother Chen Ting who dreamed of her. It can be said that the appearance of the sharp points cured Ling Xiao. But even so, Chen Ting not only didn't thank Jianjian's father for raising Ling Xiao for many years, but also humiliated him in every way at the thank-you dinner.
In real life, can such a family get along well after getting married? Disagreement with each other will consume the feelings between two people. The two people who love each other will gradually become contradictory because of these trivial daily routines and drift away.
It takes more energy to maintain the relationship between the two families. Sometimes the hard work may not be rewarded. The root of is that the other party’s family did not recognize you and your family from the beginning.
James and Marilyn in Wu Qishi's novel "Silent Confession" are such a vivid example. James is a Chinese American, while Marilyn comes from a divorced American family. Although James is a professor at Harvard University, Marilyn’s mother is still dissatisfied with him and has always disagreed with her daughter’s marriage to James. Until finally had to get married, Marilyn’s mother still did not attend her daughter’s wedding.
Marriage without blessing left a lot of scars in the hearts of two people. James did not get the so-called sense of identity, he became more sensitive, and more afraid of the strange eyes around him. This stateHe couldn't devote love to his wife wholeheartedly. And Marilyn constantly questioned and regretted this marriage because of her mother's attitude. Their lives are full of quarrels, doubts, accusations...
Why do many people have a phobia of marriage now? Because they can't be sure whether they have met the right people and the right family. As the saying goes, you don’t know if you marry a man or a ghost until you have a child. A few years ago, a pregnant woman could not tolerate the pain and asked for a C-section. Until kneeling down, her husband and family members stubbornly disagreed. The pregnant woman in despair chose to jump off the building.
This is a real tragedy that happened around us. As Leo Tolstoy said:
happy families are similar; unfortunate families have their own misfortunes. "
, before entering a marriage, please take a good look at the other’s family! This principle applies to both boys and girls. The injuries in the
native family can only be healed through love.
refers to the native family. Some people gritted their teeth and hated, some were helpless after seeing through, and some people shook hands after hard work. The drama "In the Name of Family" is more detailed in this aspect, and every character in it is She has suffered major or minor injuries in her native family.
Li Jianjian’s mother passed away when she was very young; He Ziqiu’s mother left him because of her future; Ling Xiao’s mother was very temperamental because she could not accept the fact that her daughter passed away. Changed, divorced Ling's father, and abandoned Ling Xiao; under the control of her mother, Qi Mingyue, a good-looking girl, could not even make decisions about the dishes she liked until she became an adult; Tang Can, a good-looking mother, had her daughter in her eyes In essence, it is a tool to satisfy her extremely strong vanity.
Whenever I see fierce conflicts between the characters in the play, I shed tears, because I really love them. This feeling is too real, we live in these They can resonate with all the characters. Isn’t their conflict the same as ours?
However, if we have been deeply injured in the original family, we can’t find a way out? Of course not. over complains about the original family. I believe that everything that is bad now is caused by the original family. In essence, it is not self-confidence in their own abilities. So put the responsibility on the original family. How can
heal the pain caused by the original family? The answer is only One word: love. Give yourself more love and give others more love. Loving yourself gives yourself the possibility of change; loving others, you will also reap more love. Only love can heal everything The characters in
finally got love and came out of their native family. Although the change in real life will be more difficult than in the play, it’s worth a try, isn’t it?
Of course we can’t change our origins, But on the road to happiness, there are traces to follow. Only when you believe in happiness can you see happiness.
