Author: Insight Neo
"selfish" is to find their own happiness, and this happiness to pass out.
Recently, I saw that Cui Yongyuan was interviewed by Phoenix TV earlier.
is talking about young people nowadays, showing more and more "selfish" personalities in interpersonal communication.
His emotion is very intriguing:
"They must be more concerned about themselves, but from my personal point of view, I admire them very much, especially like their character.
because only one person cares about their rights To care about the rights of others, this is a healthy society."
"selfishness" is a kind of nature, but also a kind of ability.
When you truly learn to be selfish, you can learn to live better. Between relatives
01
- , "selfishness" is a kind of happiness.
On the Internet, I have seen such a set of pictures:
between relatives, especially between parents and children, we often praise two words: love speechless, selfless dedication.
But in many cases, you will find: the more unilateral
pays, the longer the time, the greater the contradiction and gap between each other.
Long Yingtai wrote such a passage in "Dear Andre":
love is not equal to like, love is not equal to knowing. Love is actually a lot of excuses for not liking, not knowing, and not communicating.
How many parents and children are in the same room but they have nothing to talk about. They love each other but don’t know each other. They yearn for contact but can’t find a bridge. They long for expression but have no words.
In Long Yingtai's eyes, relatives should only be "selfish" in order to love more deeply.
divorced the child's father because of her lack of love;
resigned from all positions in her 60s because of her love, stayed away from the metropolis and returned to the countryside to accompany her mother. After the eldest son of
was 17, she encouraged the children to live independently, and take a one-on-one trip with the two sons each year.
Long Yingtai said that in daily life, mothers can easily become a backing that is ignored by children and family members. She wants to work hard to get out of this identity and enjoy the opportunity to be free, to be arranged, to be taken care of, and to communicate with her family on an equal footing.
When children see their parents are healthy, happy and happy, they will be really happy and at ease.
really likes how papi sauce revealed the way he and his parents get along on Weibo:
mother was still caring about her a second before, and then she entered the KTV room after a second. Hey, not only did she put her daughter aside, she even posted A lot of my own K song videos came...
papi sauce said:
"Children want their parents to have their own lives, not that they don’t need their parents at all, they hate their parents, but they hope their parents will be happy in their lives after their children become independent. Feelings, not all come from children.
When every family can lead their own life, this is the happiness of the whole family."
The family's "selfishness" makes Papi Jiang love life more and enjoy life more.
Family affection is the greatest emotion in the world.
It is worth our effort, but there is no need to be kidnapped.
borrowed a line from "Sex and the City":
"I love you, I love myself, we share the same life together."
02
- Between friends, "selfishness" is a kind of enjoyment.
Some time ago, the wife's face had been a little tired.
originally thought it was a problem at work, but after I pressed it, I frankly said that it was a "trivial matter".
I just met a friend who regarded her as a "confidant sister", and dumped all the negative energies of her parents' shortcomings and poor life.
justAt first, she was still enthusiastic to help her answer questions, but after a long time she felt powerless, but she didn't know how to refuse, which made her more tired.
Zhou Guoping said: “No matter how good friends are at , there should be distance, too lively friendships are often empty and nothing .”
We often add tolerant comments on friendship, but blindly accommodating, suffocating ourselves, and bringing friendship to it. Yours is not enjoyment, but burden.
I understand that my wife must take the initiative to express her wishes, and true friendship can stand the test of sincerity.
In this world, no one owes anyone, and no one can't live without anyone, only who doesn't know how to cherish.
Two days later, a smile appeared on his wife's face again. She said that the other party was also very sorry, but the relationship became more harmonious after pronouncing each other.
A high-quality friendship is never maintained by one party's sacrifice. Sometimes both parties are selfish and do a good job of themselves. Instead, they will derive more happiness from this friendship.
was deeply moved by a line in the movie "Mind Catcher". The protagonist of
, Will, is a genius boy who should have a great future, but because of his friendship, he and his friend Chuck work together on the construction site every day.
Chuck once said to Will:
20 years later, if you still live here and build a house on the construction site, I will fucking kill you!
You have a talent that we don’t have. If I wake up tomorrow at 50 and I am still doing this kind of work, I don’t care. And you have one million lottery tickets, but you don't dare to cash it out.
I come to pick you up at your house every day, but every time I knock on the door, I hope you are not there, don’t say goodbye, leave nothing, just leave. Although I don't know much, I still understand some things.
What is a real friend?
is not relying on each other, but being well-separated, and getting together can also be happy;
is not just letting it go, but having oneself and respecting each other's personality.
really likes what Chen Peisi said when evaluating his friendship with Zhu Shimao:
"Never think of it, never forget it."
The best state of friendship, always have a place in each other's hearts.
When "I" feels comfortable, "we" can do it and last for a long time.
03
- To treat yourself, "selfish" is an ability.
Someone asked on Zhihu: "What should I do if I realize that I am a selfish person?" One of the answers of
was praised by many people:
I have also reflected on myself countless times, and now I am very comfortable accepting the existence part." Evil" self.
I just want to stick to my bottom line and accept the "evil" in human nature, but I will not let it affect others and harm their interests.
I will control myself not to be a bad person. After protecting myself, I can help others as much as I can.
Many people live in the eyes of others throughout their lives.
But you have forgotten that people don't have a long life, so they should live beautifully and live out the true meaning of their existence.
writer San Mao once told about her experience of studying abroad in "The West Wind Does Not Know Each Other".
Before studying abroad, Sanmao was asked by his family to be a tolerant and friendly person outside. After
, she also scrupulously abides by the teachings of her parents and is modest in everything, but the result has surprised her.
Her selflessness, in exchange for her classmate's dedication.
not only allows her to take care of all the housework in the dormitory, but also forcibly controls her light-on time to facilitate her work and rest.
Later she began to become more and more "selfish", defending her legitimate rights and interests, and rejecting all unreasonable requests around her.
not only lived freely and easily, but also won the respect of foreigners.
She said: "Remember to always be yourself, walk your own way, and live your own life. Being yourself is the greatest joy in your life."Although 4z
Sanmao's life is short, she, who is "selfish" and self-loving, has become a dazzling rose in the desert, moisturizing thousands of readers with her words.
pleasing to others, pleasing himself is king.
lives not to please the world, but to please yourself.
is just like the famous saying:
“Don’t chase a horse. You spend the time chasing a horse to plant grass. When the spring blossoms, you can attract a group of horses to choose from.
Don’t try to indulge in one person. It’s time for friends to improve their abilities, and when the time is right, there will be a group of friends walking with you."
We don’t need to be afraid of disagreements with others, different flowers will produce different beauty.
Selfishness is not about harming others and self-interest, but finding the happiness of one's own and passing it on.
▽
Liang Wendao once said:
"Fuzzily treat your parents, teachers, friends, and even the mass media as your needs, without hesitation;
or stubbornly believe that you should stick to something that should not be changed in theory. Self, turn yourself into a prisoner of self."
Life is only once for everyone, and everyone lives differently.
However, no matter how you live, be "selfish" in order to live without wrongs and hypocrisy.
A person can treat others in the same way only if he understands what kind of lifestyle is better for him.
The rest of your life is not long, and there are not so many people in Japan. I hope you do what you like, make friends with people you like, and live your life with those you love.
