wants to say that there is something that will make everyone scan the screen and discuss the hot search this Spring Festival. Apart from the nationwide fight against the epidemic, it is Xu Zheng's "囧 Ma".
In the year when blockbuster films were withdrawn during the Spring Festival, Xu Zheng announced that "囧Mom" was released for free on the whole network, which was the first time in Chinese film history.
and this movie has almost become the only outlet that can relieve emotions during the entire Spring Festival holiday. All of a sudden, many netizens praised Xu Zheng's "Gao Feng Liang Festival", and the trend of public opinion of "Owing mountain to fight for a movie ticket" created this dim Spring Festival one of the few online carnivals.
But in addition to this reason, the expression of family affection in the movie is also very interesting and thought-provoking. The theme of the
z89zmovie has great universality: the general dilemma of the parent-child relationship in China.
A typical Chinese family structure usually looks like this: an absent father, an anxious mother, and a child with high expectations.
Once the child is given too high expectations and attention, it will form a control over time. Complaining to the child is a control. It is a control to exchange one's own "sacrifice" for the child's 100 points, and even praise the child in front of others It is also a kind of control. There is a sad reason behind
this kind of control: everything I do is for you.
and "囧Mom" is to use the universal parent-child relationship in China as the background and the laying of characters:
control freak son forced his wife intolerable, and finally filed for divorce. Later, the control freak mother and the control freak son were on the road to Russia. A total of 6 days and 6 nights on the K3 train. During the time
was on the train, the movie showed us the excessive care of a mother:
always worried that Xu Yiwan was not full, no matter what he was doing, all kinds of food were stuffed into his mouth, forcing his son to drink The next cup of barley water, mung bean water.
even the privacy of Xu Yiwan’s husband and wife was taken to the table by her and she kept urging them to ask when they would have children...
can’t stand the son screamed: all in your eyes All things are problems. My marriage is a problem, my body is a problem, and whether I can answer the phone or have children is a problem. I am a living person! I am not your pet dog!
One thing brought together a flash point, making Xu Yiwan hysterical. The problem between him and his mother was magnified to the extreme, and his willingness to break free was also stronger than ever.
In fact, he experienced all kinds of control and anti-control, intergenerational conflicts, quarrels and escapes during his stay on the train with his mother... This is essentially an extreme expression of the parent-child relationship.
One party desperately controls, and one party struggles to break free. This kind of parent-child relationship is destined to be full of crisis.
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In fact, this is something that many Chinese families will encounter. Many mothers give up their lives after having children, and replace them with the "love" that makes their children unbearable.
This kind of love is not unconditional, but clear Priced: You have to listen to me, I am doing it for your own good.
This reminds me of the popular family drama "Little Joy" in the last year. The way of getting along between single mother Song Qian and daughter Qiao Yingzi is almost the same as the movie mother and son.
Qiao Yingzi is clever and well-behaved, with good character and learning, but his mother is a mother with a strong desire for control.
In life, she manages everything carefully, forcing Yingzi to eat medicated food, eat raw sea cucumbers on an empty stomach in the morning, and also install a large glass window in Yingzi's bedroom for her to check at any time.
In her studies, she is more like a prisoner. She firmly controls her behavior, prohibits all extracurricular activities of Yingzi, and ignores the dreams Yingzi has said countless times.
as a femaleWhen I heard the phrase "I hate you" and "I just want to run away from you!", it was enough to make all parents fearful.
And Song Qian often said: Yingzi, you are everything to your mother! Let all the audience feel the weight and depression across the screen.
These "loves", in our opinion, are how terrible.
From the perspective of children, what they want is not blind control, perhaps letting go and respect, and letting children grow up in a more independent life is the love they want.
And many parents may not realize that excessive control will affect the child's growth subconsciously. This is what we are talking about: the influence of the original family.
is like Xu Yiwan who was not accepted by his mother and was transformed by her mother in every possible way. Naturally, he did not learn to accept others. He turned to transform his wife like "inherited" his mother's character...This scene , How worthy of alert.
z89zIn the parent-child relationship, parents feel that their children will never grow up and will always need to be told; but the children feel that their parents do not know themselves at all and do not know what they want.
So the parent-child relationship war started, and we want closer relationships to become more and more alienated . This is obviously different from our original intention.
At the end of the "囧Mom" movie, everyone also wakes up. Xu Yiwan found out: He had always rejected his mother before, not that he didn't love him, he just wanted to escape from his mother's control. After unraveling the knot that he and his mother couldn't get along well, he suddenly understood his confusion about marriage.
Xu Yiwan finally understood: Every person at is an independent individual, and each individual should be complete. Love is not about control and demand, but love is acceptance and respect.
Yes, each of us is free. Controlling love should not be the shackles of children’s growth, and the so-called love should not be a reason for mutual harm.
In fact, as parents, we should all understand a truth, children must grow up, children must be independent after all, and we must let go after all.
is like the psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: parents of a healthy family love their children so much that they are raised not to share the result, nor to stick with their children forever, but to push him out of the house. Push to a wider world and let him live an independent life.
Parents have a long way to go. We still need to learn and cherish.
