Text | Ningma Wuyu
The movie " Article 20 " is a movie with tears, laughter, and information. It is very helpful to our daily life.
As a parent, the first thing I pay attention to is the issue of school bullying involved in the movie. Zhang Ke, the son of Director Zhang, the dean of
, collaborated with several other classmates to bully his classmates. His parenting skills are questionable, but his behavior when Zhang Ke was beaten is worth learning from.
Director Zhang found out that his son had been beaten to a broken nose by Han Yuchen. He was very distressed, but he was extremely calm. He did not angrily go to the other parent to argue with the child, nor did he create pressure on the school. Instead, he did three things:
First, he reported the situation to the school, and the school leaders contacted the parents, thus avoiding direct conflict with the other party. .
Secondly, directly called the police and solved the problem through normal legal channels to protect the legitimate rights and interests of the children. He has a very strong legal awareness.
Thirdly, even though he knew that the other party's parents were prosecutors and the police were related departments, he was still unaccommodating and refused to withdraw the case. He insisted on handling the case impartially and had a very firm stance. It can be seen that what he advocates is integrity.
Under the coordination of the police, when the parents of both parties met, Director Zhang's performance was textbook level:
►►► He was emotionally stable and communicated with the other party calmly . Such an attitude would generally not cause unnecessary disputes. .
►►► did not make particularly excessive demands . There was only one appeal, which was to "apologize in person!" Under the circumstances at that time, this request was also reasonable.
Because, although he was the dean of students, he was not aware of everything and did not know that his son Zhang Ke was bullying other students. Beating his child was an act of righteousness. After he was informed that his son was bullying his classmates, he immediately stated that he would take full responsibility after verifying the facts. When the school found out that his son was indeed bullying his classmates, he immediately dropped the lawsuit and cleared Han Yuchen of his innocence and accepted the punishment.
In sharp contrast, Li Maojuan used her irrationality to get an undeserved prison sentence. She was originally on the side of justice, but she pushed herself to the opposite side.
Li Maojuan saw her son Han Yuchen being beaten and couldn't hold back her anger at all. She knew it was Zhang Ke who was retaliating, so she found some gangsters to beat her son, and she became furious.
happened to have the opportunity to meet Zhang Ke's father, Director Zhang. She rushed over in a hurry and got angry at the wine table. She broke the wine glass, kept irritating her with words, and poked Director Zhang's scars with the word divorce. She was so emotional that she He actually got into a scuffle with Director Zhang, causing Director Zhang to fall and break his bones.
Director Zhang still adhered to his usual practice and did not deal with it privately. Instead, he resorted to law and directly prosecuted Li Maojuan. As a result, Li Maojuan was detained for a week. He paid a heavy psychological price and regretted it.
From this point of view, although Director Zhang did not educate his children well, he himself set a good example in terms of legal awareness, good mood, firm attitude, and consistency in his words. Director Zhang's way of dealing with school bullying is textbook-level and worth learning from.
At the same time, combined with other movie plots, when dealing with school bullying, we can adopt more reasonable methods to protect our children while protecting ourselves:
(1) Take legal channels
If a child is beaten, do not try to deal with it privately. Avoid acting on impulse, venting personal anger, turning small things into big things, and turning justice into sin.
In the movie, Li Maojuan set a bad example.
In reality, there have been fathers of children who, in order to seek justice or revenge, directly responded to violence with violence, injuring or beating the bullying children to death, which brought more serious jail terms to themselves and the future of their children. Being helpless for half of your life is not worth the gain.
The correct approach should be to directly call the police and take formal channels to seek justice for the child. In this way, you can save yourself and your children, and keep your children protected for a longer period of time.
(2) Keep the bottom line and adhere to principles
When dealing with campus bullying issues, you may be in a dilemma because of complex human relationships. When encountering this kind of situation, you must not be merciful and give up the bottom line easily for a little personal gain. Only by following the rules can you stay safe.
In the movie, if Han Ming sent Maotai to Director Zhang to ask him to withdraw the prosecution, he would have violated discipline as a prosecutor, his career would be over, and his child's future would not see the light of day.
If Director Zhang does not pursue the case because he is afraid of the prosecutor or because the other party is a relative of the police, his legitimate rights and interests will be infringed and he will not be able to set an example to others.
(3) Empathize with children
I saw a child saying that he had been bullied at school for 9 years and had never dared to tell his parents or teachers. He felt that he was the wrong party and felt very painful in his heart.
This is a true portrayal of many bullied children. They are afraid that adults will not believe them if they speak out, are afraid of being criticized, and are afraid of being bullied even more.
In fact, if you don't speak up, you will be treated as a soft persimmon, and you will only be bullied for a long time, or even worse bullied, and you will never get ahead.
We must understand the child's mood. When the child tells us that he is being bullied, we must empathize with the child and consider the problem from the child's perspective, so that the child feels accepted and understood. Parents are people who can be relied on, and children can Only by revealing your heart in time can you avoid being bullied later.
(4) As a bystander, we should use a more rational way to stop bullying.
Many children are very hot-blooded and will help each other when encountering injustice. The mood is understandable, but sometimes reckless behavior will hurt themselves and others, and they will fall into a situation that is more difficult to deal with. situation.
is like Han Yuchen, who couldn't bear to see his classmates being bullied, so he beat up the attacker Zhang Ke. Although he acted bravely, he caused harm to others, which means he may have to bear responsibility.
A more sensible way is to see others being bullied. Don't rush to fight violence with violence. Instead, leave evidence in time, or find someone who scares the bully to stop it. Only then can the bad guys be brought to justice. Avoid subsequent bullying behavior.
For example, Zhang Ke was a bully at school, but he was a good boy in front of his father. This shows that he listens to adults. If his father or teacher can be found, the problem can be solved more satisfactorily.
is written at the end: Campus bullying is a problem that has existed for a long time. It is both implicit and explicit. Children who are bullied are unwilling to admit it, and children who see it are unwilling to stand up and identify it. It is very difficult to deal with it, mainly because people They are always used to handling things in simple and crude ways, and are not used to using more reliable methods such as the law to uphold justice. After watching the movie "Article 20", you should be able to find a better answer.
I am @宁马武宇
A mother of two boys, with more than 10 years of parenting experience
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