People must have two things in the world: one is love, and the other is courage.
262 good article
author|Wan Muzi
When women reach middle age, what will love look like?
Perhaps, the 46-year-old big S answered this question for us.
On the last day of September, Da S and Gu Junye accepted the invitation of "VOGUE" magazine to be the cover of the October issue. As soon as the cover photo of
came out, it immediately rushed to the hot search list, which aroused heated discussions among netizens. Some people were envious, some blessed, and some people were not optimistic about their unequal love.
But no matter which one is, it will not affect the joy and happiness brought by love.
Looking back, this is the first time that Da S has frankly shared her love story with Gu Junye after her marriage, and she is also expressing her emotions and feelings to the public.
In the "VOGUE" interview, I remember the deepest big S said: "If there is a life marquee in old age, the face that comes to my mind must be him."
Maybe, this is love It's like it's itself.
For a mother of two, to be brave enough to be herself and chase love at the age of 46 is an amazing thing in itself.
Look at the fireworks life, an ordinary and ordinary divorced middle-aged mother, how many people dare to believe in love again? Dare to get involved in the quagmire of marriage again?
Stop talking about love and marriage, maybe, we have lost the courage to be ourselves.
The 46-year-old Big S has lived a life that most middle-aged women dare not live.
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stumbled, just to find a good man , and as for every emotion in the future, I will deliberately avoid all injuries and avoid being hurt again.
Da S's childhood was not a happy one. Like all children of that era, he had to face parental quarrels, domestic violence, and even broken families every day.
Big S's father's name is Xu Jian, who used to be the son-in-law of a big family in Taiwan. Her mother's name is Huang Chunmei, a girl from an ordinary working family. Before she met Xu Jian, her father had passed away.
The family background of the two people is too different. Perhaps, this itself is destined to be an unequal marriage.
Huang Chunmei originally thought that by marrying into the Xu family and having children for Xu Jian, she would be able to live a good life, but the reality of the unequal marriage had already laid the groundwork, and this marriage ended in haste.
The married life is different from what I imagined. Big S's mother manages everything at home alone,I have to take care of a large family, but my wholehearted efforts have not been exchanged for my husband's consideration and understanding.
Xu Jian not only abused her mother, but also had other women outside, and didn't even pay Big S's mother.
In desperation, Da S's mother can only choose to go out to work, go to the store to do sales during the day, and be a restaurant girl at night to maintain the expenses of everyone.
Seeing her mother working so hard and having to face her indifferent father, Big S felt distressed and persuaded her mother to leave her father. Even if she lived a hard life, she would always follow her.
Later, Da S's mother finally chose to move out of Xu's house and filed for divorce from her husband Xu Jian, but Xu Jian did not agree. Despite the hard times, Da S's mother raised her three children to grow up by herself.
In order to help her mother reduce the burden, she and little S began to enter the entertainment industry to earn money, thus starting their own acting career.
In the process of growing up, Da S saw the emotional entanglement between her mother and her father, and also saw the difficulty of being a female mother in marriage, which made her eager and afraid of emotions.
grew up in a noisy family, so she did not feel the warmth of the family, and was afraid of the breakdown of family relations, so she lacked a sense of security.
lacked fatherly love since childhood, which made her yearn for the care and preference of the opposite sex, and wanted to have a warm family of her own.
In the process of growing up, she was so eager to get enough love and security that she had more or less the shadow of her mother in her later emotional experiences.
And she also admitted frankly in an interview with the media: "My mother really had a hard time, but later she was really strong, I was just like her later."
Yeah, the emotional experience in the big S In the middle of the school, you can see her mother's appearance, she is not confident when facing emotions, she is afraid of losing the other party and she has tried her best, but she has also dared to love and hate, and she is resolute and straightforward in the face of broken relationships, without dragging its feet.
stumbled and stumbled in the first half of his life, happy and sad, and the second half of his life was just to find a good person, warm each other, and spend the rest of his life together.
Perhaps, this is the big S's expectation for emotion.
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I love you with all my heart. One reason, and that is now I love you.
Looking back on Da S's past five emotional experiences, she devoted 100% of her emotions to each relationship and everyone, but when the emotions no longer existed, she also cut the water and made a decisive decision.
Big S's first love is none other than the best boyfriend Chen Jianzhou .
At that time, under the pursuit of Chen Jianzhou, they started a two-year relationship.
The love in the student days is like a budding flower, beautiful but green, without any factors, it can only be regarded as pure love, so that when Da S mentioned this relationship later, he understated it. Said it was a joke.
Therefore, even if the two are breaking up, they can still be friends, and Chen Jianzhou entered the entertainment industry under the recommendation of Big S.
Da S's second lover in his life is today's husband, Gu Junye.
Twenty years ago, Gu Junye was in the popular Cool Dragon idol group, and he came to Taiwan to record a show and met Da S. At that time, Da S was also his fan girl, so facing the handsome and talented Gu Junye, Da S S fell in love all at once.
The two of them met, knew each other, fell in love with each other, and finally broke up with each other, which also left big S's emotions with regret.
may be because of the character of daring to love and dare to hate. When she met Lan Zhenglong and Zhou Yimin later, she showed her initiative and pursued them actively.
Lan Zhenglong and Zhou Yimin are both smaller than Da S, so when Da S met them and wanted to get married and start a family, they were both rejected by the other party.
may not have enough love, or maybe the time of the encounter is wrong. Both of these two romances ended regrettably due to the different pursuits of both parties.
Da S has worked hard in the entertainment industry for many years, and he has always longed for a family of his own, a warm-hearted person who can know hot and cold, and a peaceful rest of his life.
In 2010, at the birthday party of An Yixuan , 34-year-old Big S and Wang Xiaofei fell in love at first sight. The two got married after only 20 days of knowing each other, and Big S has always wanted the home since then.
But she failed to keep her ideal perfect family in the end. The marriage lasted for ten years and ended with regret.
In every relationship in the past, Big S did his best, devoted himself to each other, and loved each other deeply.
However, love goes both ways. There will not be a perfect ending of love just because one of them loves enough and works hard enough. It is a matter of two people after all.
In a relationship, no one loses anyone, and no one owes anyone. When I love you, it's just because I love you, and when I don't love you, I will silently bless you when I turn around and leave.
This is the big S, enjoy the moment, be fully committed, and be worthy of your future self.
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Be brave to love, be brave to be yourself
Not long after Da S and Wang Xiaofei divorced, the news of her reconciliation and flash marriage with Gu Junye was reported. As soon as the news came out, many netizens were not optimistic, and I was one of them.
Everyone expressed disappointment and distress for Da S's impulsive, hasty and reckless behavior, because the power gap between her and him is too great, and this is an unequal marriage.
But after seeing what Da S said in the "VOGUE" interview, I suddenly understood Da S and expressed my approval and support for her behavior.
After all, in her bones, she has the courage to love and hate, and she is courageous and straightforward in dealing with feelings. Plus, at this age, she does not need to be the public for a long time. Instead, she is brave and confident to live out herself, be herself bravely, and pursue herself bravely 's beloved.
Facing this relationship with Goo Junye, Da S is the same as before, fully devoted and deeply in love with each other.
Gu Junye once said on the show: " Xiyuan has a lot of love, in oneWhen I woke up, I felt like I was going to be overwhelmed by her love, so of course I could only give more and more love! "
It took 20 years for the two to reunite again, going round and round, and they are still together.
And for those past emotional experiences, for Big S, every ex is a growth.
If there is no ex , That lonely and insecure woman will not know what she really wants.
For her ex, it is a regret for missing out, it is a beauty that cannot be returned, and it is also the nourishment for the rest of her life.
For twenty years later For Da S and Gu Junye, who met each other, life gave them enough time to grow on their respective tracks, and finally became the most suitable person for each other. For the 46-year-old big S, marriage is not important to her, what matters is how the two of them feel when they are together.
As she said in the "VOGUE" interview, the two of them With such an old age, all forms of marriage are not needed and are not so important. What matters is the mood and feelings of the two at this moment, and happiness and joy are the most important.
This is the first time that Da S has responded positively to the relationship between the two. Some netizens also commented that they are not optimistic, saying that this is just the beginning of the relationship, and it is true love that can last for a long time after marriage.
Maybe, everyone's values are different. Values determine what kind of life each of us wants to live. Therefore, we cannot judge or even require others to live according to our values.
After all, that's someone else's life, someone else's life.
In the face of life and life, we always look far and far, and we have seen the end even at the beginning, and live according to the way of the end. But I only forget that life is not living in the future, but in the present. Your state, your emotions, your happiness, your happiness, these are the most important things.
what's the future? It is your life that is made up of pieces at the moment. If you don’t live the present well, how can you say that you can enjoy the future well.
We often say enjoy the moment, but how many people can actually do it? Most of us are either anxious or sleepless about the unknown future, living our lives in a mess, and living our lives in shambles.
Da S is undoubtedly brave, even a divorced middle-aged female, mother of two children, when faced with love, she chose to love bravely, be brave to be herself, and live a life that most of us dare not live look.
Even in the end, as some netizens said, she and Gu Junye ended with regret, but so what, at least now and now she is happy and happy.
Instead of worrying about the future and not daring to take a step, it is better to enjoy the moment and live out yourself.
Yamamoto Ozu said: "There must be another me in this world, doing things I dare not do, living the life I want to live."
I think, big S is exactly like that.
(The picture in this article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete it, thank you.)
Author: Wan Muzi, CCDM China career planner , BSC senior career planner, American Schubert school career planner, more than 9 years of enterprise project management, registered international psychological consultant, more than 5 years of corporate training lecturer, platform signing author, second child treasure mother .
