This article was originally created by xuan's father's parenting by , with all copyrights, welcome to reprint
Talking about Zhang Yu, many older people, the first reaction in their minds is: The Prince of Love Songs. After all, the nickname given by the fans is really because he has brought too many popular music works to everyone.
However, behind Zhang Yu is known to everyone, there is the silent contribution and help of his lover. Zhang Yu and Shijiro are childhood sweethearts, and they fell in love when they were in middle school.
was later admitted to university because of Zhang Yu, and the relationship between the two experienced twists and turns. During the period, they stumbled, separated and combined. Fortunately, the relationship finally stabilized.
Zhang Yu’s early career was not smooth, and Zhang Yu, who was depressed, often confided to his lover. So, with the help of their lover, the two worked together, most of the works began to become more and more popular, and Zhang Yu finally became a popular singer.
On October 11, the sons of Zhang Yu and Shijilang ushered in their 22nd birthday. The husband and wife celebrated their beloved son's birthday on their social accounts, and Zhang Yu was a rare occurrence of a photo taken with his son. In the photos of
, the former "Prince of Love Songs" is already a pale face, old-fashioned, but with a good spirit. Even naughty gave his son a "flying kick", but it still formed a sharp contrast with the young and sunny son beside him.
Zhang Yu’s son "Jiu Ge" is 22 years old this year, and he is close to 1.8 meters tall. From the photo, he has a tall nose and deep facial features. He has completely inherited the good characteristics of his father’s genes. He is a handsome guy. One.
Zhang Yu left a message on his account:
because I love you so much
so
I learned to give you back to yourself
Happy birthday, long-term brother
, but I can just talk a few strokes, but I can feel it through the screen. The father's deep love and blessing for his son.
mother Shiji Lang also tweeted a message:
has not helped you celebrate your birthday for five years, and it feels like you have suddenly turned from 17 to 22.
22-year-old you, in addition to still having the same kindness and consideration as in the past, but also an understanding.
I believe that you are here for me, so that I can use a different perspective to complete the experience of this life.
thank you! You really are the best gift in my life. This remark of
mother can be said to be true. However, some sensitive netizens are speculating that there is an irresistible feeling of loss between the lines. In addition,
revealed that he had not given his beloved son's birthday for 5 years, whether it was because of the cold and distant relationship between his son and him, but Shichiro clearly left a message to this netizen in person, indicating that the relationship between mother and child is still close.
Since the child was born and landed, he has been snuggling in front of his parents' knees. Parents provide the child with a sense of security and dependence, but at the same time, they also enjoy the child's unreserved admiration for himself.
However, as the child grows up, especially in adolescence, the relationship between the child and the parent becomes more and more cold, and even the child begins to deliberately keep a distance from the parent, which makes many parents feel confused and sad.
The reason why children and their parents are becoming more and more distant and indifferent:
1. There is too little communication between parents and children
Nowadays social life pressure is increasing. In addition to providing mortgage and car loans, many parents also need to support both parents, not to mention their children. Education investment, all of this requires a strong economic foundation.
So parents can only devote all their energy and time to career and work. After all, time is limited and it is inevitable to lose sight of one another.
Even if they have free time, their parents are always exhausted. They just want to have a good rest and naturally ignore other things.
This also includes ignoring children’s needs for parent-child affection. Over time, children’s enthusiasm and intimacy towards their parents will alsoExhausted.
2. Parents interfere too much in the privacy of their children.
As children grow older, their independent personality becomes more and more healthy, and they gradually begin to transform into adults. However, parents cannot adapt or be aware of this change.
is still in contact with children in the same way that they treated children in the past. The most typical thing is to care too much about the child.
This naturally causes the child’s dissatisfaction. When the parents face this situation, they will subconsciously worry about the child. Externally, they want to know more about the child’s every move in order to find The specific reason.
has to eavesdrop even when the child makes phone calls. This will only cause the child to become more disgusted and have more opinions on the parents. In this case, the relationship between the parent and child will of course not be close.
3. Parents are out of touch with social trends
Now many adolescents who are in puberty, their parents are born in the 80s or even 70s. As
is usually busy with work, it is inevitable that there will be no "renewal" of some current popular new things, and their popular aesthetics even stay in their own time.
Therefore, even if it is rare to communicate with their children, when children talk about some current popular elements, their parents can only be at a loss and be puzzled.
This will make the children feel boring, thinking that there is a distance between the parents and the two parties can not talk together, and even talk about contradictions and conflicts, then naturally no one has the mind to talk about it. How to improve the relationship between parent and child
1. Put the child in the adult position and look at
. In other words, it is to give the child the respect they deserve. When children have their own independent thoughts and consciousness, parents should treat them objectively and rationally.
This is an inevitable step in the growth process of a child. Try to let go and give the child trust. Parents should not participate in many things that children can accomplish independently.
should pay attention to the privacy of children. Don't talk about children's private matters at will between relatives and friends, let alone inquire about children's words and deeds among children and classmates because they are eager to understand the inner world of children.
2. Positively encourage the child
Adolescent children are often sensitive and fragile in their hearts. Sometimes, a joke between parents may make the child worry about it for a long time.
Therefore, when facing some of the children’s achievements, the praise should be praised loudly; as long as some principle errors are not made, parents can occasionally "open one eye, close one eye" and let it go.
3. Actively "resonate" with the trend of the times
Many parents are commendable in this regard. When they find the "generation gap" in chatting with their children, they did not give up.
is actively in contact with the current popular elements, actively seeking to renew ideological concepts, and is willing to exert one's own initiative in order to enhance the relationship between parents and children and to "have a conversation".
Xuan Dad has something to say
about the child's increasingly cold parent-child relationship, many parents feel very wronged, do not know how to start, and even complain that their children do not understand their parents.
However, there are also parents who actively make changes, express their attitudes, and are willing to spend this "cold period" with their children.
Regardless of whether the parents are passive or active in changing their relationship with their children, at least one thing is certain, that is, they cannot treat their growing up children forever like children.
Dear parents, have you and your children also experienced the indifference between parents and children? How did you solve it? You can share it with everyone in the comment section below~
I am Xiaoxuan’s father, and I am actively learning to bring a baby "daughter slave". I share my thoughts and feelings during the parenting process every day. If you like my article, please follow, Forwarding, commenting, your likes are the biggest motivation for my writing!
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