dizi|Author
Ou Xiaozhai|Edit
"In the name of the family"|Cover
Today, I want to talk to you about .
The finale of "In the Name of the Family" was over, because it was too bad, I was scolded by netizens again.
This drama from the beginning of a warm family drama, developed into a love pseudo-orthopedic plot, almost every day scolded hot search. The most unacceptable finale of
is that the "villains" are forcibly washed away, including Zhao Huaguang and Chen Ting, who are most disliked by the audience, and all members have reconciled.
Ling Xiao’s mother, Chen Ting, extorted him emotionally for nine years. She suddenly awakened after committing suicide. She gave up controlling her son and returned to Singapore. She also accepted his girlfriend Li Jianjian.
He Mei and Li Haichao got married, and He Ziqiu finally had a mother who took him home on a rainy day, as well as his father, brother and sister who still love him.
is pretty good. It's a bit fake.
After all, in real life, children like Ling Xiao and He Ziqiu who are too sensible do not have so many beautiful fairy tale endings.
We love the sensibility of Ling Xiao and He Ziqiu because we see our shadow in them.
is like a line in the play saying that people grow up in an instant.
Which moment is it?
"No one else knows, only you know the moment, your heart changes, you feel the weight of life, at that moment, you are alone, and grow up quietly."
Ling Xiao and He Ziqiu, They all became sensible children in the moment only they knew.
They have all been "ripened" by adults and become "little adults" prematurely.
Being sensible is their way to take care of adults and survive.
He Ziqiu's sensible, "abandoned" desperate
If one can be willful, why have to choose sensible?
is because his living environment forces him to be sensible in order to obtain survival value.
children who are too sensible are being forced to grow up.
He Ziqiu was just born, abandoned by his biological father, and later by his mother.
Since then, the belief that "I am a burden" has been deeply rooted, and he feels that he is not worthy of being loved. After
was adopted by Li Haichao, he was always afraid that he would be abandoned again, so he exchanged sensibility for love.
sister Li Jianjian doesn't want her stepmother and always bullies him, so he takes the initiative to say that it is his fault.
Li Jianjian threw away his suitcase again and again, and he picked it up again and again.
He likes to eat ribs, but only eat with vegetables, leaving the meat to Li Jianjian.
The three brothers and sisters watched the animation together. Ling Xiao and Li Jianjian were sitting on the sofa. He only dared to sit on the small stool beside them.
Ling Xiao handed him the watermelon before he dared to eat it.
He would sneak up in the middle of the night to wash the clothes of the whole family, and would go to the store to help his father clean the table and help the kitchen.
Even if he is so sensible, his neighbors, passers-by, and three aunts and six wives are still reminding him:
You are a child that nobody wants. You have to be sensible, behave, and be grateful.
The feeling of being abandoned has become his lingering shadow. When
grew up, he had no money during his study abroad and suffered all the time, but he told the family the good and not the bad, and wanted his family to feel that he was doing well.
After returning to China, everyone thought that he was really a rich second generation. He bought brand-name shoes for his two dads and expensive big-brand bags for Li Jianjian, but he couldn't bear to eat a good barbecue.
How many children are like Ziqiu who feel that "As long as I am more sensible, someone will look at me more and love me more." .
then used a sensible shell to disguise his hidden fragile corner.
silently pays to prove the value of his existence, prove that he is worthy of being loved and will not be abandoned.
is too distressed.
Lingxiao-style sensibility is the forbearance and maturity after castration of emotions
sensibility, essentially a kind of "internal injury."
Because the weapon you use is "depression". suppresses one's own emotions and needs, and puts the emotions and needs of others first.
silently mute the cry.
When Ling Xiao was a child, when her mother Chen Ting went out to play mahjong, she locked Ling Xiao and her sister at home.
Once, when he was feeding his sister walnuts, her sister choked unexpectedly. The doors and windows of
were locked, and he told Tiantian not to, and the ground was not working. He watched his sister die in front of him.
Since then, her mother was immersed in the grief of losing her sister and became an "emotional giant baby". She blamed him hysterically again and again, "all because of you, killed my sister."
His guilt made him "killed" for the first time and turned him into a sensible and forbearing teenager. He was forced to learn to castrate his emotions and take care of his mother's emotions.
His parents quarreled every day, he hid outside the door and waited quietly, waiting for his parents to finish the fight and throw something, then go home and bow his head to clean up the mess in silence.
Mom does not cook, so he makes instant noodles by himself.
Mom asked and said that she loves to eat, which relieves her mother’s guilt.
Mom asked him to go out in the middle of the night for a fight, and he went out silently.
Dad used his busy work as an excuse to avoid passively and often left him to face his mother’s emotional breakdown.
Even so, his mother finally abandoned him.
Nine years later, Chen Ting was in a car accident. He was still forced to take care of her for "atonement".
take care of mother's wholeIn nine years, Chen Ting was about to die at every turn. Her desire for control and emotion kidnapped Ling Xiao once again.
He had insomnia and anxiety all night and all night, so he could only fall asleep on sleeping pills, but he did not dare to tell Chen Ting a word.
has truly become a sensitive and sensible, silently taking care of everyone's feelings, only adults who cannot take care of their own feelings.
Because in front of his mother, he can't have emotions and can't mention needs.
He can't count on anyone.
The luckiest thing is that your sensible person has cured
sensible child, throughout his life, it is to fill the black hole in the heart that is not loved.
In order to seek a stable sense of security, a love that can be trusted and relied on.
He Ziqiu and Ling Xiao were both abandoned and injured in their native families.
But fortunately, in the newly formed family, he was cured by Li Haichao and Li Jianjian's true love at the same time.
Since he was adopted by Li Haichao, He Ziqiu has received strange eyes from people around him. Everyone can educate him:
"That's not your father, you have to repay him, you have to be filial."
"You are different from others. If you are not filial and do not work, Dad Li will not want you."
However, Li Haichao always used his own responsibility and responsibility to give He Ziqiu a steady love and sense of security.
Since he called Li Haichao "dad", he truly regarded Ziqiu as his son to love.
no matter how busy he is, take care of his three meals a day.
He knew that Ziqiu was afraid to eat meat, so he took the initiative to eat it.
When the kid Qiu said , "You are not obedient, your father will send you away" , Dad Li told him firmly over and over again:
"Dad won't send you away. You and the pointy The same, they are all father's children."
He would tell He Ziqiu when he was anxious: no matter what happens, there is a father.
Others can't see Ziqiu's sensibility, he can see, and he loves Ziqiu's sensibility and dedication.
"I am a person who hurts like my own son. You have to say that he is not filial, but you have to remind me that he is not his own! Why is our son Qiu not filial? Why is he not filial?"
and Li Jianjian, too A ray of light in life, when he was laughed at by his friends as a motherless child and a drag oil bottle, he held his hand tightly and told him:
you are not a drag oil bottle. These loves of
convinced him that he is worthy of being loved and treated.
Therefore, when He Ziqiu grows up, he has become lively and cheerful, from being forced to be sensible in the past, to being truly loving his family.
He wants to give all the best things to himPeople who abandoned him.
Because in this family, Dad Li, Dad Ling, Li Jianjian, and Ling Xiao are his world, let him know:
No matter what, we all love you.
Ling Xiao was also redeemed in the love of Li Dad and Li Jianjian.
When father and mother quarreled, father Li used a table of hot meals and dishes, let him taste the warmth of home.
When he was abandoned by his mother, Li Jianjian told him with her optimism: Mom does not want you, I do.
These loves were the warmest beam of light in the gloomy years when he took care of Chen Ting later, supporting him through countless nights.
We sometimes have to admit that those who abandon you and control you in the name of family often hurt you the most.
are people who are not related by blood, but they have taught us what true love is.
True love is never one-way giving, but two-way healing.
As this drama brings us the strongest feeling:
Some people will hurt you in the name of family members, and some people will heal you in the name of family members.
People who are related by blood may not be able to become family members, but people who cherish and care for each other can definitely be.
Being sensible is not terrible, but what we fear is not being cherished
In the final analysis, we are not afraid of being sensible.
is afraid of our sensibility and dedication, being taken for granted and not cherished.
thinks of my friend Mao Mao, who is the second child in the family and has two younger brothers.
She learned to watch her words and behaviors very early, and she never took the initiative to ask her parents for anything. When her younger brother
was watching TV, she took care of the housework alone, taking the initiative to wash the family’s clothes, cook, and work on the ground.
feels sorry for her parents' difficulty in earning money. She always wears her cousin's old clothes and never dare to ask for new clothes.
I even preferred to walk home for an hour in order to save bus fares when I was in middle school.
She thinks that her sensibility, her parents will see and cherish it.
But the reality let her down again and again.
As long as she didn't cook and do the housework on time, her mother would scold her for being lazy, and her brother hadn't cleaned the bowl or the floor. After the younger brother
went to junior high school, she asked not to help his younger brother to wash his underwear. She was taught by her mother, "You are a sister, you should help your younger brother to wash clothes."
Once during the Chinese New Year, she saw her cousin wearing a nice new cotton-padded coat. When she was in a daze, her mother just said: "When your sister is worn out, I will give it to you."
She doesn't understand why she is The sacrifices and sacrifices taken for granted?
Why did they see their grievances or chose to ignore them?
Going home one month before the college entrance examination, mother still asked her to wash her brother’s underwear, She finally couldn't help quarreling, and asked in a crushing voice:
"Why do I have to serve my brother?"
"Why do you all think I should do so much?"
She will always remember the words her mother said : "Who made you a sister, a daughter? Women do this."
Later, after applying for the college entrance examination, she resolutely applied for colleges and universities in other provinces, and wanted to stay away from this home.
People are willing to pay for love.
is just that when you don’t get love for your efforts, you will be wronged, sad, angry, and desperate.
will feel that home is not home and want to escape.
is written at the end
I know that if we are not loved by the caregiver, it is difficult for us to find a role that can replace the caregiver like a TV show.
But still hope that you can find important others in your life and give yourself the support of love.
If your sensibleness has not been seen and cherished, I hope you will be a less sensible child.
It’s okay to be self-willed.
Take care of yourself and connect with your true self before being overly sensible to others and over-paying.
put your own feelings first.
face up to yourself, respect your needs, learn to be reasonably selfish, and maintain your inner feelings.
is like Ling Xiao. Chen Ting has not cherished her all the time. Instead, she is constantly demanded and controlled. Finally, she collapsed and asked her:
why don't you love me.
Then, complete the spiritual separation from my mother and strive to live my life.
really hope you take care of yourself first when taking care of others.
Because to you, yourself is the most important.
In this way, we can become our own psychologically most stable "home", with a real sense of security that will not collapse at any time.
Let's work hard together.
The world and I love you.
- The End -
