's "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" recently became a big hit on the Internet. Among them, the 52-year-old sister Yi Nengjing was once again pushed to the forefront of the storm. Many people directly called off fans, and many people were fancied by her. She treats others delicately and tenderly.
does not talk about her external "business" ability and "handling" ability. She is already very good in terms of cultivating children.
participated in the first solo performance of Ride the Wind and Waves. It was a song written to her by her son Harry, and Harry practiced with her. It was obvious from this that they were very close. And Harry is also very good. He can not only create songs, but also paint and dance and other "skills". At the same time, his grades are also very good. He was admitted to the most difficult design school in the UK. Child".
believes that many family members are envious, and they are also curious about how Yi Nengjing cultivated such an excellent child. In fact, apart from children's own talents and some external environmental influences, the biggest factor affecting children's learning should be their self-driving force.
Self-driving force
First, self-driving force is actually the "key" that can light up the child's inner flame.
Self-driving force can be compared to a kind of energy that is invisible to the naked eye, but exists deep in the heart of a child. When the energy accumulates to a certain level, it is like the "motor" of a motorcycle, which can bring extreme energy to the child. Great courage and motivation.
There is a small match deep in the heart of every child, and self-driving is like a "spark of fire", he can light the children’s small match to light up their world and bring them "power" go ahead. As Socrates once said, education is not to instill, but to light the flame. The driving force of
is almost ubiquitous in children’s daily life. For example, three-year-old children like to play in water very much. Their concentration on this matter is very high, and they often play faster. When they are young, even if they get wet all over, or their parents don’t let them play, they will try their best to explore this wonderful "water world" for them, and they will never get tired of it, leading to this situation The reason is that the inner driving force of children is driving them to use their various senses to feel water, and children at this time are generally in a sensitive period of sensory exploration, and children will be very interested in the matter of "contact" And, in this process, contact with feeling and understanding will help them slowly establish the true "look" of this thing.
Second, the essence of self-driving force is a kind of subconscious "energy".
In essence, self-driving force is a kind of energy in the subconscious, which can be regarded as children's direct response to the environment in which they live, the people around them, and things that affect them.
To put it simply, when older children encounter some things in their daily lives, their parents are optimistic and positive about their attitude towards themselves, and when they are willing to support their own ideas, it will bring a good kind to the children. Feeling, and will also bring them positive internal driving force, will increase their self-driven positive signals, and actively explore and interact with the environment. On the contrary, children who are in a state of being constantly criticized and suppressed will affect their doubts about their own abilities and constantly weaken their self-confidence. Children will easily become cowardly and dare not try whatever they encounter.
Third, sometimes self-driving force is like a "potential" law that is invisible to the naked eye.
In daily life, the needs of children are like a huge iceberg. Careful parents can discover the tip of the iceberg on the surface of the water, while the truly wise parents can discover the inner needs of their children and the "look" of the iceberg under the water.
When parents are aware of their children’s inner thoughts and needs, they can promptly give the children the environmental help and guidance they need, and can guide the children’s internal drive to do the right things, which is actually igniting The "little match" in the child's heart. When this fire is ignited, children will actually have "endless" drive and action. Children will have a good sense of self-identity and at the same timeWill take the initiative to find problems-find problems-solve problems, and continue to grow.
How should parents cultivate?
First, reduce excessive intervention and encourage children to think about and make choices on their own.
Yi Nengjing once talked about how she gets along with her son in a variety show, and also talked about the scene of the first quarrel between him and their children. At that time, Harry wanted to take an editing class. Yi Nengjing did not agree with him that it was easier to be a director and to develop better. At this time, Harry said something that made her reflect on herself. Harry said how do you know you? What you know is all, and I know what you don't know, and you have never been to my future.
Yes, sometimes in the process of educating children, parents often overlook one thing. What they think is not necessarily all right. They are not omnipotent. Sometimes they choose or If he intervenes more, he may lose the most correct choice.
believes that all parents in the world love children very much. In addition, parents have more experience than children, so they often impose ideas, to avoid detours for children, and for the sake of their children. This idea hinders the children themselves. Opportunities to think, to make choices.
And many times when parents want to replace their children's ideas with their own ideas, it will arouse the children's rebellious heart. When the children are in this state, their views on this matter Will also become negative and passive.
In fact, for children, what is really important is to help them find themselves, stimulate their internal driving force, and learn to solve problems independently. This is also the great "wisdom" in parent-child education.
Second, identify children's curiosity about things and increase the "curiosity turbine".
Xiaolin is very interested in "junk" recently. He is very curious why some things are objects, but some things can only be regarded as "junk". When Dad Xiaolin discovered the child’s doubts, he did not immediately give the child an answer. Instead, he asked why the child had this problem and what he thought was the answer? After Xiao Lin gave his answer and thinking, Dad Xiao Lin affirmed Xiao Lin's thoughts and added some supplements to his answer, showing him some videos related to the appearance of "trash".
In fact, Dad Xiaolin’s move above is to establish a turbo connection, increase the child’s attention to this matter during the inquiry process, and encourage the child to speak his own thoughts, think for himself, and then affirm the child’s thoughts and make some In addition, to help the child to look at the problems he encounters more comprehensively, in fact, it can also keep the child's curiosity and positive attitude towards life.
regards curiosity as a special psychological tendency in psychology, which refers to the awareness of attention, operation and questioning when an individual encounters something "fresh" or is in a new environment. Biased.
And when curiosity is combined with children's interest in learning, a curiosity turbine will appear to help children develop interest and motivation in the content of learning.
In the process of establishing a "turbo connection", parents need to establish a positive psychological environment and provide positive emotional support to their children. In addition, parents' affirmation and patience with their children are also very important. There has never been a "shortcut" or "quick" in children's education.
Summary: parent-child education has never been an easy task. If parents want to be able to cultivate an excellent child, they should know how to increase the child’s self-driving force, reduce their own excessive intervention in daily life, and go more Encourage children to think and make choices on their own, and when children are curious about some things, they can help them think about and solve problems by increasing curiosity turbines.
