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Scheming and passersby
Recently there is a variety show called "What about a snack machine". Have you seen it?
When I hear the word "scheming", I generally feel negative. However, this show has a Douban score of 9.1, and the bullet screens are all "learned" and "come to learn". There are many people looking forward to a sequel to .
shows that some scheming is used in appropriate occasions and objects, and everyone will not be disgusted.
At first, Ding Ding thought it was nothing more than teaching the content of "good marriage", but after watching it all in one go, he found that this reality show was quite inspiring.
Recently, the topic of "passerby" is also very popular. After watching "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves", everyone is discussing why Wan Qian is so popular.
Today weekend, let’s talk about the relaxed topic of "scheming and passerby". will write a lot of interesting and down-to-earth examples, maybe you will resonate well too!
Some careful machines that can help you "distribute charm"
Let’s talk about this Japanese variety show first. The program group surveyed 650 Japanese people, collected their thoughts and behaviors, and then took the most popular behaviors. A short play. The scenes of
are mostly at , a popular Japanese sorority club . Several unfamiliar boys and girls chat together. If there are interested parties in the process, they will use some caution to attract their attention. The
show invited a few guests to observe these shows carefully, and when they saw their intentions, they shot the buttons and punctured them. As a result, the two female guests of were able to shoot and said, "This is all done by my old lady."
Let’s see if you have used these careful machines too!
▍ Using social language to break the ice
Language is a natural technique. You can use "staggering" to create a sense of uniqueness. creates opportunities to talk; or "panders" to send signals to other girls -this boy is Don't grab my food.
① "Stagger" to show a sense of uniqueness
The timing of staggering can be when ordering. There was a girl in who ordered a very special wine during the first round of ordering, which was different from the previous boys and girls.
The boys noticed her at once, and everyone curiously asked her some questions about drinking.
or prepare a unique answer when answering common questions.
For example, in chats, I often ask, "What movies/TV series do you like to watch?"
Generally everyone will say that the mainstream hits, but this girl speaks amazingly-"Naked Director".
You have a lot of question marks when you see here, right? The boys were really interested, so they talked about: What do you like about this movie? The girl
later said that asking this question is actually judging the other's values. Answering mainstream films may not have much atmosphere, but the interest of everyone in answering this is ignited.
Of course she said that she really likes this Netflix biography TV series, so it is not hypocritical for the sake of a gimmick.
② "Catering" to narrow the distance
The timing of catering can also be when ordering, For example, the girl above ordered a special wine first, but the second round of ordering was like this:
I looked at the menu for a while, then looked at the boy I liked, asked him what he ordered, and then ordered the same.
can also answer questions with catering ideas. For example, when chatting often talks about "what celebrity do you like", people usually say handsome little meat, right?
But if there is a boy with a heart, it can be said that a star with a lower appearance standard makes him feel that he is possible.
This girl talked about Shi Yi, known as "Japanese Shen Teng".
▍ Some natural small movements close the distance
In the right scene, using body language can increase intimacy. But it must be used by people who like it, must not be abused regardless of the target!
For example, when joking, when you leave the meeting, it is an opportunity to touch the upper arm lightly to the person you like:
The female guest Tanaka Minami also demonstrated the advanced version of the sake. It's so hot," he raised the opponent's hand to touch his face naturally. The action was really smooth, and the male host had not realized that his hand was already there.
These actions are suitable for both sides to have a good impression. On the basis of language, you can further narrow the distance, or it will be too artificial.
▍ Exuding charm and these scheming ways
① Create opportunities to take out photos
Photographs can show your life-like self, but you must have the right time to show it. How to do it?
There are two short dramas whose heroines are very scheming. One is when talks about whether he has a boyfriend or not, he immediately says that he has one, and then shows the other person a photo-his dog. What makes
more scheming is that it looks like a dog, but you can actually see cute home clothes and beautiful legs.
When another talked about what activities he likes, talked about sauna (usually boys only like it in Japan), and mentioned that there is one near his home, so I wanted to see the photos.
then naturally shared the photos of the sauna shop and the sauna. Although there is no exposing angle, it can also attract people's imagination.
② Show the advantage of dressing and hairstyle
Although we usually don't learn how to dress and how to make a haircut, the scheming of Japanese girls makes more attractive than good-looking.
If the neck and arms look good like this girl, you can wear clothes with a V-neck on the back to make the neck more eye-catching.
sleeveless jacket plus a jacket, take off the jacket after arriving, it will also give people a bright sense of freshness. In addition to taking care of your hair,
also hides your mind. For example, drag your hair to the other side and expose your neck to the boy you like. Or go to the bathroom, turn into a ball head and return to show off your various beauty.
Seeing this, the barrage is saying "feeling to be high-end operation" and "learned". In fact, this is a 2019 show, and 2018 has another variety show, and there are also Japanese female guests sharing similar hair style skills.
The feminine way of plucking hair, tying a ball in the middle of the way back, is exactly the same. The Japanese female guest
also said that in elementary school they would read the "scheming skills" in the magazine. probably has become a consensus in Japan, and everyone is using them and will not be considered artificial.
Some girls of our have a favorite object, but because they will not release the signalIt would be a pity to miss it, . These scheming skills can also be flexibly referenced to seize the opportunity to get the fruits of happiness.
What kind of behavior would be defined as a "scheming woman"? The word
scheming is either praise or derogation, and everyone may have different understandings.
has a program that invited guests from Singapore, South Korea, the United States, Italy, Russia, and Japan to talk about the ideas they have seen in their respective countries. Ding Ding discovered that 's behaviors were classified as "scheming" at different levels. Some of
are pure mischief, some are high emotional intelligence performance, and some are easy to detect and careful.
▍ This kind of mischief is not a scheming
American guest mentioned an old news that on the eve of the 1994 Winter Olympics, the former figure skater Tonya was suspected of planning with his ex-husband to threaten another player Nancy in order to win the championship, which led to Nancy. The attacked knee was injured.
Tonya on the left and Nancy on the right. This story was also made into the movie "I, Tonya" and won the Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress. This behavior of
is actually not a scheming one, it is purely a trick. In order to harm the interests of others for one's own self-interest, it is precisely the performance of low EQ and no scheming, foolishly does obvious harmful behaviors.
Russian guests said, “There are far more girls in Russia than boys, and every girl wants to be the first. Girls can’t have friends, because every girl is your opponent.”
“If If you have a friend, it is a friend on the surface, or looks uglier than you.
Singapore guests heard, and talked about their experience as a model. The Russian female model and the Japanese female model are roommates. Originally, the Japanese model had to get up early to shoot the commercial. As a result, the mobile phone alarm clocks were all turned off, which caused them to miss out.
-turned out to be her roommate Russian model! Roommate also entered the company early and replaced the Japanese model. Does
sound like a cold back? This method is not considered a scheming, it is easy to be discovered.
If you encounter such people in your life, try to stay away, they are too jealous, don't go too close. There is really a competitive relationship. Don't be afraid to make small moves by the other party. tells the other party that they are not easy to provoke.
▍ The scheming of high emotional intelligence, without hurting anyone solve the problem
The scheming of high emotional intelligence is not easy to be detected, and it is like a spring breeze.
actress Zheng Ruyin talked about her dog blood experience. She was very moved when she received the little bear from her boyfriend Huaxin, but later found out that was given to him by her boyfriend's ambiguous object, and he transferred it to her.
want to convey her attitude to her boyfriend and that girl, what should we do?
Zheng Ruyin first tore the little bear to pieces, and then posted a photo on social networking sites, writing:
"Today you gave me the doll. My cat bit it when she saw it. I don't know why the cat hates this doll so much. , But I will cherish the one you gave me, and I will fix it." The girl
was able to see Zheng Ruyin’s social networking site and found out that the little bear had been transferred to her. I was very sad and broke up with Zheng’s boyfriend. contact. And Zheng also took the opportunity to express his cherishment to her boyfriend, is really killing two birds with one stone.
Other guests also praised, saying that it is not a scheming, but a high EQ. Can not afford to conflict, but also defended their rights.
another femaleXing Yang Haoru mentioned that because she looks fierce and mean, and her boyfriend’s last girlfriend was a girl like Liu Yifei, so that her boyfriend’s brothers hated her.
is not a way to stay in a stalemate. After all, the attitude of the brothers will also affect her boyfriend's attitude. How to ease this relationship?
She learned that there was a brother who was broken-up and drinking, and she wanted to help him. Asked him out and asked her a single cousin. This cousin is a bit like her brother’s ex-girlfriend, and they hit it off when they sang K.
So this brother not only hates Yang Haoru, but also pesters her to ask her cousin about her situation. In the end, the matchmaking was really done, and the other brothers died.
These clever responses to do not hurt anyone or make people feel uncomfortable. is a very powerful high EQ operation.
▍ Perceived scheming
The "scheming" in our daily context is more inclined to describe not so easy to see through, but easy to detect small means. For example, the ones mentioned in the first part belong to the "scheming" of the social occasion.
Xia Yutong talked about the careful handling of Japanese girls she knew. A group of people went to play. A very popular boy stepped on the water and told everyone that his feet were wet. The ordinary girl thought of finding a tissue and handing him to wipe his feet, while the Japanese girl squatted down to help him roll his trousers!
The Japanese guest immediately said that looking from the bottom up, the expression will look cute.
These careful boys will eat this set, but girls can actually detect it. is like the hostess of the show Minami Tanaka, and has always been called the scheming girl.
But what's interesting is that she used to rank first in "Most Disgusting Female Artist/Female Anchor" before, but now sells 600,000 copies of the photo album, ranking higher than gakki. The signature team lined up on 8 floors, most of them were girls!
From this point of view, scheming does not necessarily destroy the popularity of passersby. There are more factors in that will affect the popularity of passersby.
What kind of girls are more popular?
▍ True and specific is the premise of scheming
Whether it is annoying to use scheming, the key lies in whether is true and specific.
① The truth lies in acknowledging the scheming and showing the true self
Mina Tanaka from the top of the "most hated female anchor" list to the various "favorite lists" ranking top 3, and how she is in The performance in "is also related.
She always said openly, "I will do this too" and "This is what I will use", and frankly told the sisters that "the scheming is just to hold the Buddha's feet", but it makes everyone feel good.
Ishihara Satomi is often said to be a bitch and a goblin, but it makes people unpleasant. She also admitted that generously admitted her intention to become beautiful, and shared her experience with everyone. On the contrary, won a good impression.
In contrast, some celebrities have done a lot of hard work, but also packaged themselves as natural beauty, painted light makeup but touted to be undressed.
or always use the time when others are not beautiful enough to set off their own beauty, has a bit of self-interested mentality, which also violates "The premise of "truth":
It is a good thing to use careful machines to change beauty. It is a good thing to admit that hard work is not embarrassing, and to have a true and honest side, so that beauty will not appear hypocritical.
In addition to admitting scheming, the truth lies in showing the true self.
Lala Su Xinning said that her scheming is "to do what she likes", and she thinks that she "will make boys feel very comfortable." For example, if the other party likes sports, run with him.
But this kind of reluctance to please yourself can't last long. Sooner or later you will find that you don't like running at all, and there will be a "you changed" gap.
There is no need to go against your own essence and play an unreal persona. Only when does the likes you win can it last long.
② Being specific and not abusing
Being specific is easy to understand. The scheming used by those Japanese girls listed in the front of is to be recognized and loved by people you like. It is indeed human nature, and everyone will feel the same.
However, abuses regardless of the target and becomes a means of casting a net. is particularly offensive.
is true and specific, and the use of scheming is not annoying, and it can also increase the charm.
But Minami Tanaka also said that even if she has been using these techniques, she still has no love fruit.
Yamazato Ryota made up the knife and said: "If you don't like it, you won't look back even if you have so many skills."
Indeed, 's scheming is just an introduction. Whether you can continue to retain your goodwill depends on your internal and personality.
When we watched "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" recently, we can also feel the different personalities and qualities, which have a great influence on passersby.
▍ These two qualities can greatly improve the popularity of passersby
① There is a sense of measure, and no excuses for admitting mistakes
Readers who watched the show may remember that Yi Nengjing's practice is quite controversial. She took the initiative to go to the worst team and became the captain of course.
But because of the long time of teaching, my voice became hoarse, but in the final performance, he lost and was eliminated. She was very unconvinced, blamed her teammates for the failure, and felt that she was dragging her down to help them.
This is actually a lack of sense of scale. Helping is certainly a good quality, but must also consider how much you can help. Since has made the decision to help, the result is not as expected, so we have to bear it bravely.
This reminds Ding Ding of a childhood experience. At that time, my younger brother came to the house at . I wanted to behave like a good sister, so I kept peeling shrimp for my younger brother. The adults praised me, and I stripped more when I was happy.
Finally, when I ate it myself, there was not much shrimp left, and I complained to my brother: "You have eaten a lot of shrimps, I have nothing to eat."
Mom heard it and criticized me afterwards-yes You want to help your brother yourself, how can you blame him for eating too much?
earned praise, but refused to accept the risks and losses beyond the scope of his ability. Such a mentality is still too childish.
In addition, the results of Yi Nengjing's performance are not ideal. The first reaction is to find other reasons to explain, which will give people the feeling of wanting to clear the responsibility.
On the contrary, if admits mistakes openly, , like Wan Qian, will be straightforward and responsible for the mistakes. If you do better, you can easily win in a new environment.Good impression.
② At any time, the main business is the foundation
The second or the hard power we have always emphasized, no matter which industry you are in, once you lose your business ability as a foundation, the so-called passer-by and goodwill will become weak.
Ni Ping previously posted a Weibo saying that she was circled by fans, and she also specifically named Wan Qian: "We dubbed "Sound on the Scene" together, and she shocked me with one mouth. Since then, I have become tens of thousands. Qian’s fan is now.”
Even if you are a passer-by, you know Wan Qian from this show, and when you continue to learn about it, will find that she has played so many good roles, and ’s feeling of “discovering treasures” is very good.
People with strength and good personality, once they get the opportunity to get exposure, there will be a passerby bonus. If you don’t have the skills and are still desperate for marketing, it will ruin the popularity of passersby.
You may have discovered this too. Today’s long article does not mention any makeup techniques.
Ding Ding feels that the external image of is not as big as he imagined. There are many online teachings on : "green tea makeup", "cut men makeup", and "little white rabbit makeup"... In fact, to increase the popularity of passersby, makeup image is still no better than personality.
mentioned earlier that Yang Haoru said that he is mean-looking, long atrium + upper eye-picking + close eye distance, it is indeed easy to have a sense of scheming. But when spoke, it was obviously straight-forward.
Zhang Yuqi also has this kind of appearance, but her speech and demeanor make people feel atmospheric and invisible, and it is easy to break the prejudice against appearance and get a good impression.
star only briefly showed through variety shows, which can change the preconceived feeling of appearance. As ordinary people have more opportunities to get along with each other, the inner and character are more important.
And conversely, some stars have been following the exquisite/girlish route, pursuing exquisite/fresh makeup, creating natural beauty, but it doesn't help increase passersby.
——The first impression created by the appearance is fragile, and the words, deeds and character are the finishing touches to the establishment of passersby.
also hope that all of us can do both internally and externally, not only relying on the superficial skills of being careful, but also relying on strength and character to show the charm of the atmosphere.
