A few years ago, an interview was filmed with Chen Meiling.
She was once a legendary singer as famous as Teresa Teng and Momoe Yamaguchi.
As a woman,
her life has experienced several turning points:
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Chen Meiling made her debut at the age of fourteen or fifteen and became one of the most popular idols before she was twenty.
Before she was twenty, she had become a national idol.
chose to get married and have children at the peak of his career.
's return to the workplace while breastfeeding aroused public opinion.
then took her two children to study in the United States. While raising her children,
earned a doctorate from Stanford University. After
, it promoted the passage of gender equality laws.
The three sons had different ambitions when they grew up,
but they all entered Stanford University
...
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Chen Meiling herself is a doctor of education from Stanford University, and her three sons all graduated from Stanford University, and now they are all successful
A recent article Visiting her again in Shanghai,
68-year-old Chen Meiling still looks full of energy.
She recently became a grandma,
and did not retire as she wished,
but her job has been postponed to the year after next.
We chatted with her about her many choices in life,
and as an education expert,
’s understanding and empathy for today’s young people.
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girl Chen Meiling
I debuted in Hong Kong when I was around 14 or 15 years old. At that time, I was just doing volunteer work, singing to some children with poor living conditions, and raising some funds to help them. Then someone asked me to record, and I became a singer overnight. When I was 17 years old, I went to Japan to develop my career, and I became popular for some reason.
At that time, it was not like now. There were only a few idols, and all the fans were focused on us. It was really crazy. When I go to school, there are people standing in front of the school; I can't go shopping freely because I will always be recognized. When I was young, I was a little confused. My rapid popularity happened suddenly, as if I was alone in a huge storm.
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When I was thirty, Chen Meiling married my lover.
When I was thirty, my lover and I got married, and soon we had children. I have always liked children and longed to be a mother. The arrival of my child made me extremely happy. At that time, my career was at its peak, and many programs were urging me to get back to work quickly. I said my child is still breastfeeding, can I bring my child with me? The TV station said that you must come back. You can bring your children, your dog, your cat, whatever. It doesn’t matter.
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During the lactation period, Chen Meiling returned to work with her child. Unexpectedly, it caused an uproar in public opinion and became a phenomenon-level topic at the time.
I naturally took the child back to work, but I did not expect that it caused an uproar in public opinion in Japan. , later became known as the "beauty age debate". At that time, Japanese society generally felt that after a woman became a mother, she should go home and take care of her children. It was too much to work in public. For a time, I was plagued by negative comments, slander, and rumors, and public opinion also attacked me: She is Chinese, and when she comes to Japan, is she going to reverse all Japanese traditions?
I started debuting at the age of 15 and became popular all the way. I had never thought about gender discrimination before. But this controversy made me think a lot. I thought, if a woman has to lose her life if she gives birth to a child, then what woman would be willing to give birth to a child?
At that time, the American "Time" magazine also reported on this incident. A female professor from Stanford University contacted me through many people. She said, "Come and learn from me. You can get a doctorate and learn about society, gender, and society." With some more systematic research on the economy, you can help the women of the next generation have a better future.
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With two children, she came to the United States to study alone.
I tried to take the exam, and I really passed the exam. But at that time I discovered that the second child was already in my belly. I went to the female professor and said, I won’t study anymore.The female professor was silent for a few seconds and asked, "Have you had another child?"
I was surprised, I didn't say anything yet, how did she know? She said, "Many women give up on what they want to do because of this excuse. But what about you, are you going to say to your children in the future, 'Mom could have gone to Stanford University to study for a Ph.D., but gave up because of you?' ?”
I was convinced by her. In this way, I came to Stanford University to study with a child and a belly that was nine months pregnant.
It is really hard to take care of children and study at the same time. I really don’t have any sleep. I get up around 8:00 every morning, send my two children, one older and one younger, to the care center and go to study by myself. After class, I rush to pick up the children, feed them, bathe them, and eat them. I wait until they fall asleep before I start doing my homework. I often don’t fall asleep until 4 or 5 am.
But I am very excited. This opportunity is so hard-won, and I must cherish it, so I have fun reading every day, and I also have fun raising children. And it’s also because in such a situation, I feel a lot of help from society and others. I think if I was just an ordinary college student, I would definitely not be able to feel these things.
More than two years later, I returned to Japan to write my thesis. It was the most difficult period of time. I need to take care of the three things of raising a baby, writing my thesis, and working at the same time. There was no Internet at that time, and running data on computers was far less convenient than it is today. I remember one night when I was writing a thesis, my second son was very young at the time. He pulled the quilt and ran to me, got under my table, and hugged my feet to sleep. I almost cried. After a while, my eldest son also came and slept with my other foot in his arms.
Later, I laid the floor in the study room. Every night I wrote the paper with my two children sleeping next to me. After more than two years, I finished my thesis, and when I passed it, I was really happy. After so many years and so much hardship, I really became a doctor. During my defense, I hugged each of my professors excitedly.
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Chen Meiling at the graduation ceremony
The "Meiling Controversy" promoted the passage of the "Equal Employment Opportunities Law for Men and Women" to a certain extent. In the past, there were about 5 nurseries in companies, but now there are 5,000. At that time, if a woman wanted to work, she had to ask her husband for his opinion, but now there is no need. However, it is still far from an ideal state. There are still problems such as income inequality and unequal distribution of family childcare responsibilities. There is still a lot of room for improvement in the gender situation.
From an idol to a doctor, people around me began to look at me differently. My professor also told me that as a woman, if you have a degree, people will actually look at you differently. They started to trust me and respect my opinion. I can do a lot of work as a cultural person, I can share what I have learned, and I can also help other women to go back to school with more confidence to continue studying, or to continue working after getting married and having children, which I find very comforting.
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Chen Meiling likes children very much. As an ambassador of the United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund, she has traveled to Africa many times to visit local children
I think education is to teach children to dream. First, show them that the world is vast, with many opportunities, and that you have many possibilities. You have to find what you love to do the most.
When they find something they like, we will give them some tools and teach them to have the courage to take the first step. Even if there is no way, you can also make your own way. There will definitely be failures in the process of pursuing dreams. When we fail, we teach our children to be strong, stand up and keep doing it. If we are lucky enough to succeed, we must be humble and share, if we can complete this process, education will be successful.
Not everyone has to be a doctor or a lawyer, just let them do what they like. This is my educational ideal. When my eldest son was three years old, he told me that he wanted to be a chef in the future, so I taught him how to cook when he was very young.When he was nine years old, he suddenly said that he no longer wanted to be a chef. I was still a little disappointed. But there is also an advantage. He now cooks very delicious food. Later, when he fell in love, his girlfriends all liked the food he cooked.
is still this kid. He studied engineering at Stanford University, but when he was about to graduate, he suddenly told me that he wanted to give up everything and become a paramedic. He hoped to save people's lives.
Ambulance workers have to study for two years to get a license, and the salary is not high, it is very hard, and there is not much room for development. But I think it’s great that this kid is so kind. I immediately said, OK, then mom will give you two more years of study. You want to help others, and I am proud of you.
Many parents will consult me. The most common questions are about their children's unwillingness to do homework well and difficulty in improving their grades. I have many small ways to make reading less difficult for children, but I hope parents won’t be so nervous. Times are moving really fast. AI may soon be able to do everything for us, and scores may be completely useless. How can we surpass AI? AI is big data. It can only know things that others have thought about before. If we want to train our children to surpass AI, we must train them to face the future and think about things that others have never thought of before.
It is most important to cultivate children to have "humanity". We are all human beings, we have to cry, we have to do wrong, we have to regret, we have to be happy, we have to love people, we have to hate people. Our current education seems to train our children to be machines, but we don’t want children to be machines, we want children to be lively people.
There are many young people nowadays who don’t like to go to work. They think that if I work so hard, is it just for the company? They want to take a break, this is a new trend.
I think the most important thing for parents is to understand that their children don’t know what to do, and to accept that parents don’t know how to teach them either. You don’t have to tell him what path to take, just let him think about it slowly. That’s fine. As I said just now, this society is changing very fast, and our life span is now 100 years. It is okay to let young people be lazy for two or three years. It is also okay to let them search and be confused.
Maybe after they think about it, they will be more powerful. I think the most important thing is to understand and tolerate them, then accept them and tell them that you are still valuable.
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Chen Meiling family portrait
My eldest son and his wife recently had a child of their own. I am very happy. I am willing to be on call for this child and can provide a lot of help, but I am not willing to have full authority to take care of the child. I think this is the child of the future, and only young parents can cultivate it. Moreover, I also want my son and daughter-in-law to experience the feeling of being parents, both sweet and bitter, and the children will have a greater sense of belonging to their parents.
I now live in Japan and Hong Kong. The problem of low fertility rate in these two places is very serious. I can completely understand. Seriously speaking, giving birth to a child is a very risky thing. You spend a lot of energy and money, but there may not be much reward. Many women also need to face the career and life challenges that childbirth brings. various influences. But after giving birth to three children, I still feel that being a mother is a good thing.
Deep down in everyone’s heart, everyone longs to be exposed to some unknown things, and the experience of being a mother is also one of them. It's really amazing. There is another little life inside your body. After birth, there are always some small details in his body that are very similar to yours. After becoming a mother, I am touched by the smallest things. The child smiles, the child begins to walk...I will be happy all day long. That feeling was something I had never experienced before becoming a mother.
Our family used to have a tacit understanding of eating together. No matter how busy my partner and I were at work, we always had to eat with our children. Later, my eldest son and my second son went to study abroad one after another. One day, my partner also went on a business trip, and my younger son went to a party, so I planned to eat alone. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw my youngest son standing at the door panting and saying, "Mom, I can't let you eat alone."
After we finished eating together, he went back to attend his party and ran back and forth just to have dinner with me.
I got cancer a few years ago. The medicine I took had side effects. My whole face was swollen and I couldn't express myself. I simply didn't want to live anymore. My son finds a joke to tell me every day, hoping to make me laugh. I think it’s great to have children. Who else would do such a thing to you except children?
They are also very kind to me now, and they can talk to me for more than an hour every time they call. All three of them live abroad. I don't expect them to always be by my side. This is their own life. If I miss them, I can go see them myself.
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To this day, she is still active on the stage
When I was 50 years old, I thought about retiring when I was 60; when I was 60, I said I would retire at 65. Years have passed, and now I am 68 years old. My work has been scheduled for the year after next. I don’t know if I can retire when I am 70 years old.
I still have a lot of things I want to do. I think there is still room for improvement in our education system, and I hope it can help young parents raise their children more easily and with more enthusiasm.
Many people say that I am in good condition, but in fact I have wrinkles and everything on my face. But maybe it’s because I’m curious and interested in everything, and I laugh a lot, so people think I’m younger than my actual age.
