Author | Nanfengchuang Reporter Zhu Qiuyu
from Changsha, Hunan
Duty Editor | Zhao Jinghan
When Zhu Dan saw the reporter, he had just finished recording the night's program. His voice was hoarse, but his big eyes were still bright. She wore eye shadow, short eyeliner at the end of her eyes, and her chin was sharper than on TV.
Before this, she stopped wearing delicate makeup for a long time. Unless participating in large-scale events or recording variety shows. Otherwise, she likes to show herself barefaced - even in front of the camera, she will wear silk pajamas and share her addictive book list. At this time, the eyebrows are thick, but the brows are a little shallow. Her skin color is the same as that of most ordinary girls, a healthy wheat color.
Many people envy her for her relaxation.
participated in "Chengfeng 2024". Zhu Dan started from scratch for a long time, learned to sing and dance, and became the protagonist in the spotlight. In the past few years, the female artist with two children has made it clear that she enjoys being nestled in the safe fortress built for her by her family, which is comfortable, free and powerful.
In fact, this public figure who always has a bright smile on his face has an unexpected side.
More than ten years ago, she was called "the first sister" and she looked confident and majestic. But what the outside world didn't know was that she would be nervous and apprehensive when standing on a higher stage than ordinary people.
In 2015, during a speech at Peking University, she forgot her words and cried on the spot, saying that she was a loser. But at the same time, she said frankly that she could finally take off her burden and no longer had to always force herself to be the strong one.
"I'm glad I finally screwed up."
"Screwing up" seems inevitable in life. In the past, the uneasy Zhu Dan would choose to escape, like a surfer who takes back his pedals, stands on the beach at the beach, and looks around again and again before he dares to face the big waves again.
But in 2024, Zhu Dan has changed when he starts again. She felt that she was a growing tree and was curious about the appearance of all the branches and vines growing out of her.
So, in "Chengfeng 2024", singer Shang Wenjie asked her with concern: "Zhu Dan, you keep smiling like that, are you tired?"
She told Shang Wenjie that this question was two or three years too late. "I don't need these comforts now. I will only say to myself, do what you want, and follow the path you want. No need to plan, no need to ask why, just feel it."
Women are forty, Zhu Dan is getting more and more excited Enjoy life.
01
Restart the body
In the past month, Zhu Dan cried often. Most of the time, the crying breaks out in the dance studio.
"I'm practicing dancing. I'm like a retarded person. Can you understand that feeling?" During the interview at 9 o'clock in the evening, Zhu Dan had already recorded the show for a day, and he was still the person with the highest speaking energy in the room.
"I know the head is here and the hands are here. Why can't I do the same as the teacher? She said the chest goes here and the belly goes there, and I feel like how can I control it? My mother, why are the hands and The feet can fit together, but I can't."
After deciding to participate in "Chengfeng 2024", this 43-year-old woman finally started to face the challenge of standing on the stage again, and it was a dance stage she had never tried before. The body has deteriorated over the years.
In his teenage years, from the fourth grade of elementary school to high school, Zhu Dan was always a long-distance runner on the school team because of his physical talent. Later, she became a host and actress who needed to stand for a long time. Her career requires her to maintain control of her body.
In the past seven years, Zhu Dan gave birth to two children one after another, and her body became weak. She stopped exercising intensely and let her body quiet down.
"I can't do a lot of simple things at all," she said. "I just want to balance with both hands and I can't balance it. This is a very big blow to me. I am unfamiliar with my body. Wow, Why can't I even do this? "What is this feeling?" She changed several adjectives, but it was difficult to describe her complex psychological state.
Finally, she finally anchored on "Frustration." "I've been frustrated," she said.
Despite constant setbacks, Zhu Dan also knows that this is the only way for her to return and come back.Like his silent body, Zhu Dan has also been less active in the public eye in recent years. Starting in 2020, she entered the live broadcast industry and interacted with the audience through the mobile screen most of the time. After work, she likes to stay in her "comfort zone", go without makeup, and spend time with her family.
She said frankly that in these years she had focused on the person she loved and "lacked the courage to explore outside." Or, "I have a feeling of putting myself in my comfort zone and nourishing myself to replenish my energy."
Perhaps he has accumulated enough energy. In 2023, Zhu Dan, who has always acted intuitively, decided to hold a fan meeting that he had never held before in his many years of debut after gaining contact with the audience in the live broadcast room.
It was Zhu Dan’s 42nd birthday on August 4, 2023. She dressed up for the occasion and touched the long-lost power of exclusive offline meetings. She told me that before the meeting, she was not sure, "Will someone come for me?"
Zhu Dan is good at remembering scenes and pictures. She recalled the day of the meeting. First, she stood behind the scenes, "waiting to hear their voices calling you." Then, "I suddenly walked up to them and saw that they were all excited about it."
"They will cry, they will talk, they will write to me."
The eyes and enthusiasm of these fans moved her, and made her suddenly start to reflect on herself. "The fans are waiting for you and looking forward to you, and I am very happy immersed in my own life. At that time, I was suddenly reminded, is it too early to 'retire'? I am only in my 40s, and I take on jobs so casually. Isn’t it a little too early? ”
02
The Transformation of “First Sister”
Zhu Dan herself never thought that as she entered middle age, she would be able to move freely in and out of the spotlight and in the camera shuttle.
This is completely different from the 30-year-old her. At that time, she was still labeled as a well-known host and the "first sister" of satellite TV. In the huge studio of the TV station, the grand party stage, and the somewhat insignificant "Bird's Nest" in Beijing, she wore high heels and full eyeliner. She was the key figure standing in the center and connecting the event.
When she was busiest, she had to record four programs a week and stood for more than 10 hours a day on average. As a result, she developed knee problems and could rarely wear high heels.
When he recalled it, Zhu Dan was still happy.
She said that the host is "actually very bad", or there are times when he expresses himself. Her little idea was to pick a few seconds of the opening remarks on stage - "pop, pop, pop, the lights come on, the whole place is quiet, and the host comes on stage."
At this time, everyone was waiting for the host to speak. "(I) just stood there, looked around at everyone, and then said, 'Hello everyone, I am the host Zhu Dan.'"
She likes to control the moment of the audience in this way, slowing down the atmosphere first, "Then everyone The audience burst into applause."
In his 20s when he was most energetic and dreamy, Zhu Dan was full of emotions and had a smile full of big white teeth. With Zhejiang Satellite TV's "I Love to Remember Lyrics" program, she became the leading actress. Wheat-colored skin color is no longer a disadvantage of women, but a testimony to the embrace of diversity in television programs at that time. Her skin color and friendliness have become a "magic weapon" to attract the audience, and her fans call herself "Chocolate".
If we use the probability of a wider group of people, among all the hosts who are eager to be seen, it is extremely lucky to be selected and well-known by the audience. Luck seemed to have been sewn into the power within her body, pushing the ignorant girl to the front of the stage and making her the center of attention.
For Zhu Dan, becoming a host is a path she never imagined in the first 20 years of her life. After graduating from college, she joined Zhejiang Satellite TV and worked hard from a weather anchor to a news anchor. Then, he became a substitute host, and later, slowly became a well-known host. With the perseverance to stand for more than 10 hours a day, she went further and further, and her "ambition grew again and again," she said.
After spending his 20s so busy, at the age of 31, Zhu Dan made a choice that surprised the outside world. She chose to leave Zhejiang Satellite TV and not be the "first sister".She became an independent artist, and since then, she has had more roles: not only hosting on major TV stations, but also filming TV shows, making movies, and recording variety shows. The reason why
was chosen like this was explained by Zhu Dan in a speech at Peking University in 2015: "When the host needs to constantly give to the outside world, a crack will appear in his heart. Later, there will be more and more cracks. That crack is - as a Host, are you really good enough?"
html Looking back after 2009, Zhu Dan told me that she believed she was talented as a host. This talent did not come from professional ability, but was born with her. Third party perspective.
Every time he takes the stage, Zhu Dan's brain will synchronize a scene broadcast on TV.
"I'm walking out...
OK, pause...
ok I'm going to start talking..."
This may be the host's comprehensive ability to control the scene and react on the spot, but Zhu Dan would describe it as this ability makes her like The conductor in the symphony. It sounds like she is both the "Truman" in The Truman Show and the audience watching The Truman.
The prerequisite for establishing a third-party perspective is to get used to talking to yourself. When talking to Zhu Dan, she likes to use the second person and often says "you". And this "you" is Zhu Dan himself.
's "talent" of self-talk and examination made her even more trembling when she stood at the top. During that time, Zhu Dan's mind was always replaying negative comments, thinking that he was not as good as those top hosts who were admired by others. "I feel like you don't have any new ideas at all. You can see that your words are not flowing smoothly and are not brilliant at all."
"So, instead of being driven off the top of the mountain, I might as well walk down by myself." She said .
So she chose to "escape" and began to try various new contents to heal herself.
In 2015, towards the end of the above-mentioned speech at Peking University, Zhu Dan forgot his words. She immediately apologized to the audience. And then, it is difficult for anyone not to be moved by Zhu Dan's sincerity and openness.
She told the audience: "It is difficult for me to define myself as a successful person. I feel that I am a girl in the village and have not grown up yet. So after talking so much, I will be afraid and I will be confused. But I finally screwed up." "..."
"I'm glad, I finally screwed up."
She then used the sentence pattern of talking to herself. But unlike three years ago, she is no longer ashamed of being vulnerable.
"Now I will tell Zhu Dan that after so many years, you have finally failed in public, and you finally don't have to be a strong person. You can take off your shell, give her a hug, and say to her: 'In these years, you have actually done It's pretty good. '"
03
40+, enjoying the stage
Zhu Dan chose to be good to himself, and began to choose to keep a low profile in public and instead nourish himself. In 2017, she entered into the marriage she had longed for and had a lovely child. She made no secret of the fact that she, who presented herself as a big woman at her peak, actually longed to have a family.
Such a life choice does not meet many people's expectations for independent women. Too many people are longing and waiting for a "sister" who will not give in, is completely dependent on themselves, and has their career firmly in hand.
But Zhu Dan is always honest. Even though she knew she would receive confusion from the outside world, she still insisted on herself.
"I admit that I enjoy this (family) thing," she told me.
"Furthermore, I don’t think that I am no longer strong when I return to my family. Women are very strong as mothers and very strong as wives. This is equal to me as a professional. I don’t think that I don’t have makeup and not so many people see it. With me, without the spotlight, I'm completely bleak," she said.
In the days when there is no spotlight, in addition to spending time with his family, Zhu Dan also likes to be alone. She fell in love with building Lego and would pour thousands of scattered parts together, "enjoying the joy of finding silk in the mess."
usually has a notebook next to her at this time, and she wants to write down the wonderful ideas that fly through her mind during the quiet time.
She once wrote on the public account: "Many times life is also a pile of parts. You need to find what you really need, although this takes time."
After having his own world, Zhu Dan finally began to smooth out his life like stacking Lego in batches. If life can be like a CD that can be listened to over and over again, career is the A side, and life is the B side, then , in her 30s, Zhu Dan has learned to flip back and forth between A and B, and is extremely self-consistent.
She revealed in an interview in 2019: "I hope to be a more accompanying mother, so there are many. The criteria for measuring work are whether it will affect me taking care of my children and whether I need to be away for too long. If so, then I won’t do it. I have no regrets because this was a decision I made from the beginning. "
She told me that she doesn't like to be entangled in one end and not take care of the other. If you decide to do something, then do it to the extreme. For example, in January 2020, Zhu Dan opened a live broadcast room to lead her products Familiar maternal and infant products. In the first quarter, she became one of the top ten "Queens of Product Delivery" on Taobao. That year, she was pregnant with her second child and was still recording variety shows and doing them 3-4 times a week. Appeared in Taobao live broadcast room.
And on her 42nd birthday in 2023, because she saw the fans who came for her, she decided to "come back" and turned the focus of her life to the A side of her career.
Finally decided to expose herself to more people. Later, she participated in the reality show "Study of Love" in the second half of the year. The interaction with her husband Zhou Yiwei made people finally understand Zhu Dan's choice, and at the same time reminded people of this straightforward and powerful female artist. There are many aspects that are not seen by others.
I asked her why she did not seem to pursue many things deliberately after she turned 30, but many milestones in life were achieved naturally.
She replied that she had always followed the trend. Man.
"I may be God giving you a step, and I will go up. "She described, "I sometimes observe the people around me and always say to them, God gives you a boat to save you, why don't you get on the boat? And when I seize this (opportunity), I will say, OK, then I will do this. I will not deliberately twist or resist. "
Decades of life experience have made Zhu Dan more willing to trust her intuition and do things that make her excited and adrenaline surge when she thinks about it.
Now, she is no longer restrained and feels that she is a tree growing freely, sincerely I am proud of my relaxed state. “In the past, I would want to accommodate the audience and deliberately show what they want.” But now, “I no longer pinch myself, cry whenever I want, and laugh whenever I want. There is a smooth connection between me and my true self."
In the spring of 2024, Zhu Dan, who started again, participated in "Chengfeng 2024" and became a "contestant" voted for. She explained that the reason for participating in a show was that she had to start from scratch. program because she doesn’t want to repeat her past life. She wants new challenges and likes the feeling of two villains fighting each other in her heart and finally defeating herself. At the end of March, Zhu Dan stood at the first rehearsal of "Chengfeng 2024". On the big stage of the vast studio. It is one of the largest studios where Mango TV records programs. There is a huge LED screen that makes people look up. There are also many cameras, which show the blush, glitter and even the makeup on each sister's face. The pores were all clearly photographed.
Zhu Dan once again described the scene of going on stage in detail: It was a large stage that she had walked through several times. She had to go through the backstage first and then slowly go up to the row of cameras in front. , she stood in the center of the stage.
"Suddenly, I didn't have any nerves, just like I had hosted countless events before, I was ready to dance. "
Even in the unfamiliar dancing moment, she still paid attention to the live lighting that she would look at when she was a host.
"Pa—the left side should be bright," Zhu Dan said while raising his left hand;
"Pa, the right side should be bright. ", she raised her right hand like a conductor;
"The bang bang lights up, I know it's time to start dancing.
At that moment, she was very sure: "I am connected to the stage, and my life should be with it." There is only one feeling in my heart: ‘I’m back, this is mine.’”
editor | Huang Mingting
typesetting | Feifei
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