Text\Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Wu Jing and Xie Nan have been on the hot search recently. Last time, Zhou Yiwei was whitewashed, but this time Wu Jing was dyed black?
Many people think that Xie Nan and Wu Jing are too unhappy together. Wu Jing is simply too selfish, indifferent, emotionally unstable, and chauvinistic! What kind of life is Xie Nan living? It’s so frustrating. The cause of the
incident turned out to be an old variety show, and new problems were discovered. Every little detail about the relationship between Wu Jing and Xie Nan in the show has been revealed. It turns out that when the show was first broadcast, everyone felt that Xie Nan was too careless and paid too much attention to details. Now, they all feel that Wu Jing is too problematic. Big! Many people exclaimed: It turns out that Wu Jing is such a man!
felt sorry for Xie Nan, so many netizens urged Xie Nan to get a divorce, which made Wu Jing very nervous. She was very afraid that Xie Nan would really break up with him, so Xie Nan thanked everyone for their "righteous indignation" for her and made it clear that she did not feel My husband doesn’t respect women, but they actually love each other very much.
Are there still many netizens who are "sorrowful for their misfortune and angry for their inability to fight"? But in fact, Xie Nan's marriage is really the real daily life of marrying a straight man. Her marriage can give most of us women the most sober inspiration.
Throughout her life, women care about whether a man loves her or not. So, does this man love her or not? If you get a magnifying glass and peek into the daily life of every couple, you will find countless evidences of not being loved. But truly smart women know how to catch the big ones and let go the small ones.
Is Xie Nan loved? Does Wu Jing love Xie Nan? Do you look at the small details or the big picture? Let me tell you, I look at the general direction.
Because men and women are inherently different, if you use women’s standards to judge whether a man loves you, you will 100% be disappointed.
01. Most straight men are very opinionated, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
When a woman falls in love with a man, she will have the urge to be his mother. This is understandable. In the
variety show, Wu Jing said, I often give my wife a cold face, and he also bought me things with all his heart. I might be irritable, and I said, wife, I really can’t wear it. The daughter-in-law said, what's wrong with you trying? I tried it, and then the tiger body shook, and the thread on the arm collapsed.
Will this scene make his wife Xie Nan dumbfounded? I even felt that he did it on purpose. He just didn't want to wear it, so he took off the sleeves.
You guessed it right. In fact, Wu Jing may really think so. Although Xie Nan means well, straight men may not appreciate it and may find you troublesome. In their hearts, they do not feel that rejecting you will hurt them. your.
thought that the daily life of Lao Yang and I was exactly the same as that of Wu Jing and Xie Nan, and Lao Yang was even more hateful than Wu Jing.
When we first got married, money was tight, so we once went to a shopping mall to look at clothes.
We shopped around but never found the right one. I wanted to save money and thought the clothes were too expensive, while Lao Yang actually did it because he was too picky, but I didn’t know him that well at the time.
He picked out several pairs of trousers, some of which I thought were very good, but he didn’t buy any of them. Then he went to look at his coat, and I happened to go to the bathroom. When I came out, I saw the trousers he had just tried on. , I thought, he seemed to like one of them, but it might be too expensive, so I didn’t buy it, so I bought it, wanting to give him a surprise. After
returned home, he said casually that he was a little regretful that he didn't buy any pants, but one pair was pretty good.
I was overjoyed when I heard this, and immediately took out the pants and put them in front of him. I thought he would be very happy, but he actually said, "Why did you buy these for me?"
I wanted to tear these pants off at the time. Feeling ready, I replied to him coldly: "I bought these pants for my brother..."
He seemed to have noticed something was wrong with me, but he didn't say anything more.
That night, I cried for a long time and swore in my heart that I would never buy him anything again, and the next time I bought him, it would be a puppy.
To this day, I keep my vow and never buy anything for him again.
Actually, I still had very romantic feelings in my heart at that time. I felt that even if the thing I gave him was inappropriate, if he loved me, he could frame it and wait until he got older to put it away. Take it out and appreciate it, what a wonderful memory it is!
But in fact, this is my woman’s thinking. Straight men will not express love to women in this way! They will express their opinions directly without caring whether it will hurt you.
Straight men are the tougher type among men. They are more assertive. People who are too assertive will find it difficult to have high emotional intelligence. Naturally, it is easy to hurt others. As his partner, you are very close. In a relationship, he will also let down his guard and express whatever he has without any hindrance. If you have a glass heart, you will be easily hurt. However, if we don’t have a victim mentality and are not so sensitive, we will boil everything down. As for "not loving", will there be less disputes in marriage?
Do these things about a straight man prove that he doesn’t love us? Not really.
If he lets you keep and control every penny he earns, goes to work on time every day, comes home on time, and bravely takes on more and more responsibilities at home, wouldn’t you say this is not love?
Love can flow between the eyebrows, but it is too superficial; love can take root in real life, which is truly profound.
02. A straight man really doesn’t know how to coax women, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
Although Xie Nan is a big woman, she still has the thoughts of a little woman. Every time she is criticized by Wu Jing, or Wu Jing cannot meet her expectations, she will definitely have a lot of inner drama.
Most women think that I haven’t done enough, but men often lack reflection and will criticize others.
Xie Nan once reminded herself not to cry during the show because she felt that Mr. Wu hated women crying the most.
This should make many of us think of her as "humble"! actually not.
My old Yang also hates my crying.
Once I complained to my best friend that every time I cried when he poked me, he would always get angry, as if I was hurting him, but what about me? Naturally, he was angrier.
I'm thinking, it's obviously you who went too far and made me sad! I cried bitterly. Isn’t this a sign of weakness? Shouldn't you be here to coax me?
My best friend said to me bluntly: "You have to know that when some women cry, to men, it is a sign of weakness; when some women cry, to men, it is a threat."
Well, it's only my fault that I don't look good. The beauty of the moon is beautiful, and the weak willows support the wind. When others cry, they are like pear blossoms carrying rain. When I cry, my face is full of ferocity.
Once, when Lao Yang and I were chatting calmly, I asked him, why do you feel upset when I cry? Don't you know how to be compassionate?
He said, because you cry, you are saying to me: "You are wrong! You have to apologize to me, you have to compensate me!"
I said, It is obviously you who are wrong!
Lao Yang said: "What can we men do wrong? It's not your fault!"
Well, this is the true psychology of straight men.
Straight men may reflect on it in their hearts, but they will never admit it with their mouths. Most of the time, they won't even reflect on small things. They will only find you annoying and make you do it.
Don't expect them to be able to coax you, because what they are worst at is acting and lying. You let them coax you, and the end result is that they will make your broken emotions explode again.
Just like in this old variety show, it was clearly Wu Jing who was selfishly eating alone. We can all sympathize with Xie Nan's dissatisfaction, but Wu Jing instead blamed Xie Nan, "Didn't you see that the meal was ready?" and later ran away by himself. Smashing the mirror with a towel in the upstairs bathroom! What the hell is this?
But this is his normal thinking! Whenever you want to blame him, even slightly, his pride will be unbearable.
Junichi Watanabe said in "This Thing About Men":
"The importance that men attach to face is definitely beyond women's imagination."
Yes, men generally believe that they can't go wrong if you make them feel like they are If you are wrong, you are wrong!
What kind of psychology is this?
Watanabe’s interpretation is this:
“Perhaps there is still an expectation deep in the hearts of men, hoping to find the shadow of their mother in their wives, hoping that their wives can accept themselves and tolerate themselves unconditionally like their mothers, and at the same time be willing to live in the world. A subordinate position."
Yes, this kind of self-centered mentality hidden in a man's heart is always there. How could he be wrong? He is the emperor who "keeps his word"! What he needs is to be infinitely tolerated by a woman, and you must obey him unconditionally! Are you asking him to admit his mistake? How can it be?
So when you get along with straight men, it’s really normal for women not to be coaxed, or not coaxed well, because they can’t capture your emotions at all, and more importantly, they don’t think there’s anything wrong with them at all, and they don’t You can't say anything soft, it's already very good that they don't vent their emotions on you! Do you still expect him to comfort you? Save it.
I think of Chen Yu in "Only Thirty" who said to Zhong Xiaoqin:
"When we were on a blind date, I found you to be quite gentle and considerate. Your family is also down-to-earth, unlike ours, which is a mess. I got married just to be relaxed and worry-free. In order to live a solid life!"
said it very true. Whether he is a powerful man or an ordinary man, in fact, when looking for a woman at the beginning, he is looking for someone who is virtuous and obedient and will make him worry-free. They don't want to find a teacher to educate them. A judge judges himself.
If they don't coax you, it's really not because they don't love you, but because they love themselves more and want to maintain their own face and dignity. As for a man who particularly protects his face and dignity, do you think he will not pursue his career? And aren’t the achievements of his career for you to enjoy?
Of course, if he coaxes you, he may even provide for you like a slave. You must understand that his purpose must be greater than love, which is actually more terrifying.
03. Mei Niang said
Writer Ai Xiaoyang said:
"A woman says to a man, you should go faster. The man asks in turn, if you go slower, you will die. This is a real conflict. There is no solution for the time being. It all depends on yourself." Think about it."
What is thinking about it? Isn't it "big things are reduced to small things, small things are reduced to small things"?
I think of writer Li Yueliang saying:
"Many women are strong and irritable on the outside because their normal inner needs are not seen. She always cannot get comfort and relief, so she will suppress her resentment and anger. A certain trivial matter is about to break out and completely collapse. Behind their superficial strength is actually their inner fragility."
Yes! When men can’t see our vulnerability, it’s okay for us to see it ourselves. From now on, we count on ourselves to comfort and sympathize with ourselves, dress warmly when we’re cold, drink a cup of hot coffee when we’re thirsty, and stop in time when we’re heartbroken. When you are tired of crying, you will wipe your tears and leave your determination.
You will find that after you become less glass-hearted, whatever you accept will disappear. You might as well spend the time begging others to change to adjust yourself. Men still have many uses, and they can work! If you are willing to take on the responsibility, give him more work to do! If I am willing to give you money, then spend it well and reward yourself! Don't expect those impossible changes, and you will live as happily as Xie Nan.
A good marriage requires learning to focus on the big and let go of the small.
