China Youth Daily conducted a survey on 2,006 people aged 18 to 35. About 90.6% of them said that their parents had given them verbal repressive education. After
" Twenty Do Not Confused 2" was broadcast, "Liang Shuang's father" became popular again. Compared with the previous "nag", Liang's father in the second season sent "suppressive education" more suffocating.
When I was a student, I often heard a saying from teachers and parents: "Humbleness makes people progress, pride makes people backward" is to prevent children from becoming arrogant and complacent.
Therefore, many parents do not praise their children when they educate their children, but constantly suppresses their children, thinking that this can play a motivating role. In fact, most children are miserable in suppressing education.
How suffocating is "suppressive education"? Liang Shuang's father's education method caused controversy in the hit "Twenty Do Not Confused 2" on
. The controversial Liang Shuang's father made many people angry. Every sentence seems to be educating , but every sentence is inseparable from the suppression.
originally came to accompany Liang Shuang at home, but after seeing his daughter doing a live broadcast, criticized and denied it everywhere.
He first felt that Liang Shuang's had a bad attitude, and should serve others with the attitude of "customer is God" . Liang Shuang retorted that he couldn't use the past to talk about things, but his father criticized Liang Shuang's for "floating".
Facing his daughter's career and dreams, Liang's father asserted that if he had this attitude, he should change his career. Sooner or later, he would "fall down".
Maybe Liang Shuang is a person who likes to talk back, but there is something wrong with Liang's "repressive education".
This is not only the plot effect of the TV series, but also in real life, many children are experiencing "suppression" education by their parents, even more serious than Liang Shuang's father.
Parents adopt repressive education, and the probability of getting ideal educational results is relatively low. Although repressive education does not involve physical violence, it does harm to children by belittling, sarcasm, denying children, and comparing children with others.
There are many parents of the same style as Liang Shuang's father in life. How do children who grow up around them often feel?
Parents conduct repressive education for their children, hoping to make their children humble and motivated by "language stimulation". Unexpectedly, excessive blows will bring huge psychological pressure on children, which will backfire. The
survey shows that only about 11% of became humble, not arrogant or impetuous in their parents' repressive education, and about 29.3% of were alerted and pursued progress.
It can be seen that the probability of that parents finally get the ideal educational result is lower than , and the rest of the people have suffered large or small "hurt" in the repressive education of their parents.
Why does the "suppressive education" commonly used by parents make children feel suffocated?
Parents are sometimes really weird, they want their kids to be happy, but they like to throw cold water on their kids when they're .
For example, after school, the child happily shared the joy with his parents with a 100-point test paper, but the parent said "Don't be too early in Kaohsiung , you see xxx every time you take the test with 100 points".
More than half of the children have become unconfident in their parents' repressive education do not do well.
After about 59.7% of the children experienced repressive education, they are not confident in everything they do, from study to work and life, they are afraid to try anything.
Parents want to make their children work harder, but in exchange for their children's self-abuse The description is consistent, this phenomenon is called the "label effect.
Originally the child worked very hard, but the progress was slower and the achievement was smaller, but the parent described it as useless.
Slowly he will think, Anyway, I am Whatever you do is wrong. No matter how hard tries, he won't get the approval of his parents, so he just lives as they describe, becoming rebellious and giving up on himself. Not only exists among young children, but often lasts until the child graduates from college. A few parents have been suppressing education for their offspring all their lives. Parents are there to educate their children, but the children who are suppressed often feel that is disgusted , was denied , from the loss of obedience at the beginning, it gradually became disgusting, which indirectly affected the parent-child relationship.
Liang Shuang and his father are a typical example, The more his father hit Liang Shuang, the more Liang Shuang wanted to resist , when he saw the child When they resisted, the father hit harder and harder. The father and daughter refused to let each other lose both sides. There is another adjective for
's education method - knife mouth and tofu heart. Many parents will not say it easily even if they recognize their children in their hearts. Praise.
But the truth is that the correct praise education is more effective than suppressive education. will not only make children progress, but the family atmosphere and parent-child relationship will be better. Growth makes more sense , children are also more receptive to couples.
z14 When z praises his grades, he should focus on his attitude and dedication.
Don't throw cold water on your child's success in the test, but you can't generally praise your child for how awesome and awesome is.
wants the child to know that the reward is earned by through hard work, praises the child's serious attitude towards this matter, and falls into the specific details.
When praising creativity and ideas, clarify the pros and cons.
Children's thoughts are more imaginative than their parents, and they usually think of strange things, which are difficult to realize and even dangerous.
Parents can't directly deny "It's wrong for you to think like this", satirizes the child's brain "has a problem", may as well ask the child why he thought of this idea , praise him for his good thinking and research.
At the same time, discuss with the child the pros and cons of his idea , help the child to think more deeply. It can not only help children avoid the dangers and adverse effects of , but also will not dispel children's desire to share and create.
Candy mother's heart:
In the hearts of children, no matter how gorgeous the praise from outsiders is, it is not as good as 's parents' heartfelt affirmation. If you want your child to be who you want to be, you should praise him and guide him in that direction instead of constantly suppressing him.
[Today's topic] Are there any parents around you who like to "suppress" their children?