Text | Guo Ma (original article, personal reprint and sharing are welcome)
The hot movie "The Climber" tells about the feat of the Chinese mountaineering team sprinting to Mount Everest in 1960 and 1975, making the five-star red flag fly on top of the world . In the
play, Hu Ge played Yang Guang. His father died of Marfan syndrome. The doctor told him that there was a genetic possibility. "Participating in sports is equivalent to playing a game with Death" and advised him not to climb Mount Everest.
However, Yang Guang insisted on reaching the summit. In addition to his "sense of mission", he also had a little selfishness: "Mount Everest is the closest place to the sky. I hope my father can watch the moment I reach the top from the sky. "
On the way to the mountain in 1975, Yang Guang had to amputate his legs because of severe frostbite when he gave his sleeping bag to his partner.
When everyone thought that Yang Guang and Mount Everest had no chance, Yang Guang said firmly: "I will not give up. My father regretted bringing me into this world. I always wanted to tell him that I Very good, I hope to be his pride. "
After 44 years, Jackie Chan's old Yang Guang successfully climbed the summit of Mount Everest. Recalling those years in 1975, I can’t help but be full of tears:
" in 1975, The mountaineering team and the expedition team consisted of more than 400 people. I was injured that year. I said that I would definitely come back to climb Mount Everest. "
At this moment, Yang Guang not only accomplished what he wanted to win glory for the country many years ago. The mission has become the pride of his father, and there is no regret.
Yang Guang, whose fate was frustrated, has been using actions to comfort his guilty father: "I am fine, you really don’t have to regret bringing me into this world."
was in the movie theater when Hu Ge insisted on climbing Mount Everest. What I said was poked, my eyes were wet, and I couldn't help thinking: Parents and children, who knows better?
The child understands you better than you think, and understands you better.
Someone once did a survey and asked parents to give a score to the child, with a total score of 10, and say why? The parents interviewed by
, without exception, did not give their children full marks for many reasons: they don’t like being clean, crying, picky eaters, learning, disobedient, tricky...
In the eyes of many parents, children are not sensible enough , Can't understand my painstaking effort.
It is true that children have all kinds of headaches for their parents, but it is undeniable that sometimes children are far more sensible and considerate than their parents thought.
The well-known comedian Zhou Xingchi, there will always be sections of chicken legs in movies, and this is actually related to his mother. When
was a child, his family was poor. Every time he ate, his mother would put the meat in his bowl, but every time he bit the leftover meat in his mouth and vomited it out.
was even more exaggerated. Once, his mother was frugal and bought him a drumstick. Not only did he not eat it, but also threw the drumstick on the ground. His mother was very angry and couldn't help but beat him.
Many years later, Stephen Chow explained his "bad deeds": it was deliberate.
Because his mother bought chicken drumsticks for him specially, but she was reluctant to eat it, so she had to stain the chicken drumsticks deliberately so that the mother would not let him eat it again, but she was reluctant to throw it away so that the mother could eat the chicken drumsticks.
and "drumstick" is also the closest connection between him and his mother, so this is why it always appears in the movie plot.
When Stephen Chow told the truth, his mother was already in tears.
Parents are deeply responsible for their love for their children; children's love for their parents is not expressive, but behavior deviations occasionally occur.
Sometimes, you don't say anything, but the child still understands you, understands you, and silently supports you.
Before watching "Youth Talk", Mother Guo cried because of the sensibility of a child.
's sensible child, Liu Beiyuan, is a 13-year-old junior high school student. Her parents went to work in Shenyang from the countryside. Later, to take care of their two children, her mother quit her job.
will be attacked by some people from time to time. Some relatives at
will tell her secretly, her child is so old, why is she still at home, why not go out to find a job? Mother
has never complained in front of her daughter, but Liu Beiyuan saw it all in her eyes and felt very sorry for her mother.
"My mother helped me with my homework, and my biology test was the first place, so I don't need to make up classes. My mother takes care of my sister and cooks at home. They are all earning money. Why is it not more valuable than going out to work?"
I understand my mother's contribution in my heart, so I quietly try to repay my mother with my excellent results.
Finally, she said:
"Mom, in my eyes, your contribution is as great as the father who went out to work." Mommy
didn't expect her daughter to say these things, and she gradually moistened her eyes.
Liu Beiyuan's words to his mother have also warmed countless parents, and he has to sigh with emotion: so caring and warm.
Children seem to understand nothing, but they often bring a warm blow when we inadvertently, making you feel that no amount of hard work and grievance is worth mentioning in front of these moments.
Russian writer Dostoevsky said: "You can save your soul with a child."
child is the angel who came to save us.
Parents must admit their imperfections and accept their children’s imperfections. The old saying goes: "There is no perfect gold, no one is perfect."
There is no perfect thing in the world. Everything has its strengths and weaknesses. People No exception.
Whether as parents or children, we are parents who are children for the first time, and children who are parents for the first time will inevitably have shortcomings.
Guo Ma tells you an interesting story. Jane Nielsen, the author of
"Positive Discipline", is both an educator and a psychologist. She has always used positive discipline to educate her 7 children.
However, there are still moments of emotional loss in front of her children.
Her little daughter once asked her: "Mom, when I was born, were you doing'positive discipline'?"
She said yes, and the daughter went on: "So, do you remember that you once held it? The belt chased me all over the room, wanting to hit me?"
Jane Nelson said this: You must have made me crazy.
You see, when everyone loses their temper, even those who always practice positive discipline are no exception.
Therefore, we don't need to be too harsh on ourselves, and ask ourselves to be perfect parents. If we stretch ourselves too tightly, we will inevitably treat imperfect children with high demands and a highly critical attitude. In the
variety show "After School", there is a mother. Because she feels that she reads little and can only work on the assembly line, she suffers a lot. Therefore, she worked hard to make money and provide her daughter with the best experience. Educational opportunities. The daughter of
is also very upbeat, her grades have always been among the best, and she also works hard in hobby classes, but her mother is always dissatisfied.
When the daughter is practicing dancing and the movements are slightly inadequate, she will immediately rush into the classroom to criticize her daughter, and even ask her to do her homework while practicing her leg press;
When her daughter has only a B+ for her homework, her mother adopts bombarding preaching and thinks her daughter Without being diligent enough, he repeatedly said: "Why am I angry? My mother is reluctant to eat and wear it. All hopes rest on you, and I hope you can stand out..." In the end, the mother and daughter broke out in a fierce quarrel. She screamed and yelled at her mother: "When you come back, you tell me every day, what am I doing? I am very tired from school. If you talk about me in the future, don't come back!"
mother was so angry that she ran away from home Later, the daughter worried about her mother again, crying to find her mother, although the whole atmosphere at home became very serious when her mother came home.
Mother loves her daughter, and her daughter is also considerate of her mother’s hardship, but the mother’s high demands and picky things have hurt both mother and daughter at the same time.
As parents, there is nothing wrong with expecting a child to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix, but we must know how to recognize our imperfections and accept their imperfections, so that we can be more harmonious and happier in the process of getting along with our children.
Accept children, correct yourself, and grow together
Acceptance is for children-accepting imperfect children; correction is for yourself-correcting wrong ways, unhealthy mentality.
When you correct yourself from the bottom of your heart and accept your child, you will find that you are less anxious, your child is not that bad, and your mood is alsoIt will be a lot easier.
➤ 1. Lower the expectations of children
If the expectations are high, it is easy to be disappointed. If there is more disappointment, people will become anxious.
Don't have too high expectations for your child, and put too much pressure on your child, which will not help your child grow up.
In addition, you have to adjust your mentality, you will find it easier.
➤ 2. Take fewer children and compare them over and under the covers
Each child is a seed, but each person has a different flowering period. Some flowers bloom brilliantly at the beginning; some flowers require a long wait.
Don’t look at other people’s flowers blooming. Don’t worry about your own tree before it moves. Believe that flowers have their own flowering period. Carefully take care of your own flowers, watch him grow up slowly, believe in children, and wait for the flowers. open.
Maybe your seed will never bloom, because he is a towering tree, or he is just a grass.
➤ 3. Establish an intimate relationship with children
French Sally Sabari said in "Parents' Awakening":
When we no longer pursue the satisfaction of controlling desire, we will establish an intimate relationship with our children.
spend more time with children;
meets the legitimate needs of children;
makes children feel the warmth of the family;
leads by example, treats children well, treats themselves well, and treats parents well.
Among all the elements of family education, the establishment of a good parent-child relationship is the most important, the key to all education, and the cornerstone of family education, otherwise our efforts to raise children will be meaningless.
❤ Guo Ma’s message to
educator Suhomlinski said: "Every moment, when you see your child, you also see yourself. When you educate your children, you are also educating yourself and testing your personality."
accepts you Only when the child is changed, can you accept yourself so that you can grow up with your child!
