1.
From time to time in the quiet community, there were several crying sounds of children and scolding of parents. In the past two or three months, most of the children in the community stayed at home to fight the epidemic, and this situation occurred at least dozens of times a day. The neighbors familiar with
often send their children's emotional distress to the group, and they complain that if they don't send their children to kindergarten (school), they will soon have a heart attack.
Some neighbors said that when a child is emotional, he is really a little monster, and he can’t wait to kill the monsters immediately.
This statement is wrong, in fact, the child is not a little monster, his emotion is a little monster. And this little emotional monster needs parents to brush their golden eyes, take off his animal clothing, recognize his essence, and make moves to surrender the enemy.
Children’s little emotional monsters have two characteristics, one is a soft monster and the other is a hard monster.
is a soft monster that ignores, dismisses, and disobeys, and always makes parents want to hit others with anger. The
hard monster is, Sapo rolling, arrogant and unreasonable, doing everything possible to let you meet his requirements. Whether
is a soft monster or a hard monster, parents are furious and seriously affect family harmony.
2.
The little emotional monster is so hateful, how did he catch the children, and should they do whatever they want?
First of all, the development of the brain and nervous system of children is not perfect, and they have not been able to control their external expressions and dominate their actions and behaviors, thus expressing their wishes excessively or insufficiently.
, coupled with their limited understanding, makes them prone to strong stress reactions, and the degree of emotional venting is several times stronger than that of adults, and they are prone to uncontrollable performance.
This kind of strong emotional expression is often more pronounced with younger age.
For example, when infants and young children are not able to speak, they will only express themselves by crying; a little bigger, with fingers and body movements to express dissatisfaction or want; when they can speak, use loud language to ask what they want Things, if you can’t be satisfied, cooperate with emotional crying to achieve your goal.
These strong emotional expressions are the little emotional monsters parents often call. Sometimes the little monster
also appears in negative expression. For example, a child is watching TV and you tell him to wash his hands and eat, but he doesn't want to go. He ignored your call. Even if you turn off the TV, he is still lying on the sofa, motionless, silently contending with you. The above situations of
are the soft monsters and hard monsters that parents fear most. In either case, it seems that parents can be forced to become angry monsters alive.
In fact, children can understand the needs of their parents, but why can't they do it right away, but express their emotions?
Children always get their own demand signals before they can receive demand signals from outside.
He first knew that he wanted to do this, and what his parents asked him to do was different from what he wanted in his heart. At this time, contradictions appeared in his heart.
Why is the thing my parents asked to do different from what I want to do. what should I do? I don't know how to deal with the contradiction between the two? At this time, his subconscious mind will automatically magnify the entanglement points in his heart, and exaggerately express his wishes in behavior, resulting in intense emotional reactions. The requirements of
parents are equivalent to external demand signals. He needs to receive and understand his own signal before conversion. When the signal conversion is completed, the inner entanglement can be suppressed, and then the behavior can be completed. Before the signal has been converted, all his emotional expressions are a shell to protect his needs.
3.
If the child is trapped by the little emotional monster, how to defeat the monster and let the child be a good baby.
1. When we understand that this emotion is only amplifying his needs and excessive stress response, we might as well let the child stop this exaggerated expression and behavior.
When the child cannot stop by himself, parents can press the pause button on his behalf and take him away from the scene. Go to the balcony to sit with him and chat slowly, hug him, or take him back to the room, and accompany him with his favorite toy to prevent him from making his behavior more and more troublesome.
If your child is unwilling to leave the scene, you might as well divert your child’s attention, or use another thing to demote and satisfy.
2. No matter how angry the parents are, they must clarify their thoughts and emotions so that their children can express their needs and understand the motives behind them.
If the child is young, at an age with limited expressive ability. Well, at this age, what I long for most is attention and love. Hug him is the best attention.
3. When children express their wishes with emotions, they should not be oriented towards satisfaction every time. This will give the child the illusion that strong emotions such as crying can only be exchanged for results.
When we understand his needs, it is better to delay satisfaction or downgrade to meet.
4. Take the child back to the scene of the facts, recall the behavior just now, tell him which behavior is wrong, and explain to him clearly what needs to be improved. Also, teach children how to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong.
Even if we are mature as adults, we often experience emotional stress, and sometimes we are trapped by little emotional monsters. Therefore, we should understand this behavior of children. When they can't control the little monster of emotions, we should face it with him, teach him to recognize emotions positively, and manage them properly.
Emotion is a long-term and persistent problem in life. Teaching children to manage emotions is a very important lesson in life. As a guide for a child, we should give him a good beginning.
