#See all kinds of things in the world#
It has been 4 years since she left us.
Some people say that she is a peach in the world, and the next step is to take over Jun Ji-hyun's role in beauty.
Some people also say that she is a crazy girl, a loose woman who does not wear a bra, and a drug addict...
Shirley.
Or, call her real name, Cui Zhenli.
This girl, who only lived for a short 25 years, was burdened with countless "crimes". No matter what she did, she would be scolded on trending searches.
even now.
After the documentary "To the Truth" about her lifetime came out.
Some people still continue to curse:
"She asked for this."
"She chose this herself."
There are also fans who are worried about her, "If she hadn't left, some people might still continue to curse. she".
Watching this documentary is a heartbreaking process.
Taken a few months before Cui Zhenli committed suicide, looking at her smile, you know that it is about to wither.
Seeing her crying and being lost in thought, it felt like it was another rehearsal of death.
Even, you don’t feel that revealing all this has any commemorative or comforting significance for Cui Zhenli.
Because a real girl passed away.
But the upside-down world behind her was still intact.
"Kill Yourself"
The documentary "To the Truth" includes the first short film she shot.
was supposed to be a collection of five short films inspired by truth, but due to Cui Zhenli's departure, only this one was left in the project:
"Holy Island".
is almost the inner confession of the truth. The lyrics of the music at the beginning of
are very interesting:
This is a holy island. People who want to immigrate here must first enter the confessional and confess their evil deeds.
The girl in red named "4" played by Mari walked into the confession room and told her own story.
As a child, he was separated from his mother and has been living in a slaughterhouse since then.
One day, she killed a piglet. The number of
is:
After that, she thought that the dead piggy was another one of herself.
She lived with the dead piggy all day long, treating it as her best friend...
But when the promotional song of "Holy Island" reached her ears, she had the urge to stay with the piggy. The thought of going to the Holy Island.
Just after she and Piggy finally entered the Holy Island after a long journey, she seemed to become another person.
turned out to be a female butcher.
now looks more like:
female idol.
's long blue hair was replaced with a black doll's head, her casual vest and jeans were replaced by a red sexy short skirt, and a pair of red high heels highlighted her slender legs that were blocked under the apron.
She even began to laugh at the "little pig" that had been her companion.
But at this time, there was always another perspective, hiding in the bathroom, peeping at the girl in red.
Finally, kill her.
So that was her before...
?
This short film is very surreal in terms of lens language and script content.
In the picture, the slaughterhouse looks like a stage, with all the lights focused on the "pig".
In the final analysis, Cui Zhenli is that little pig, ready to be slaughtered by others, and everyone wants to benefit from her.
The girl with blue hair and the girl in red skirt symbolizes the two sides of Choi Jinri.
The girl in red is her idol self, as delicate and beautiful as a doll, but her eyes are empty;
The girl with blue hair is the true inner self, free and easy, casual and happy, but her self He could only be confined to a small space where he couldn't even stretch his legs.
The only thing that made her feel happy and energetic was the little quilt with little flowers on it when she slept.
Holy Island is the stage of Korean entertainment.
She once longed for this stage, but finally died on this stage.
This place needs all the "people" who come here to finally become a piece of holy and uncontaminated "commodity".
Do you still remember the previous lyrics?
"You have paid the price, and we have cleansed everything, and your heart will be protected by us."
What is cleansed?
’s personality before entering Korean entertainment, those characters and appearance that did not meet the audience’s aesthetics.
In the end, in order to truly reach the Holy Island, I have been changed, and even killed my other self with my own hands.
This is the price of being here.
Even if the girl has trimmed herself, she still cannot escape from this "holy island" full of lies.
died in this pure place.
So I became a sinner in the end
Time to breathe
The content of "Holy Island" tells everyone in an extremely straightforward manner the pain and struggle that Cui Zhenli experienced.
Looking back now, it feels horrifying.
It is almost a "suicide note" left by the truth.
The next part of the documentary is interviews.
Cui Zhenli’s incoherent behavior, language lag, and even long-term stagnation of thinking can let you see that her emotional collapse and fragmentation are accelerating every minute and second.
Her depression was too obvious in this interview:
Confusion of self-perception.
Cui Zhenli, the most prominent label on her body is "the most popular female idol in the world".
When the reporter asked her if she could introduce herself.
Her reaction was to ask the reporter after a long silence, is it okay to just say her name?
She even had to think about her name and identity for a long time, showing a state of being ashamed to speak out.
One of the symptoms of depression or some mental illnesses is confusion of self-perception, or low self-evaluation.
The reporter asked, do you still care so much about what others think of you?
She replied: What if other people's opinions are right? What if I am a weirdo.
In Cui Zhenli’s interview, she mentioned more than once that the outside world or herself suppressed herself.
The reporter asked her, you seem to be under strict control and restraint pressure. How do you deal with such great (pressure)?
She gave a more self-suppressing solution:
I will continue to blame myself...
The only thing I can control
The only time I can feel that I have control
is when I When I make myself miserable
the only thing I can control
is the self-blame and self-deprecation
expressed intermittently.
would think for a long time before speaking, and even after she finished speaking, she would immediately retract, "I can't say that."
When she was doing the interview, she wanted to express her pain, and tears came to her eyes.
But after a while, she changed her mind and said to herself: "No, I can't think like that."
Why did she hesitate to speak? What was disturbing her thinking.
She seems to have been competing with her other "cheerful and positive" persona.
Even when she felt sad, she would pause first, as if she was joking, and ask: "Can I cry?"
But she was once a fearless keyboard warrior who didn't care about external comments and loved to tell the truth. Cui Zhenli gradually peeled off, revealing a face riddled with holes...
She has been afraid.
I am afraid that if I say a word or sentence incorrectly, I will be scolded by netizens, and I will be stressed at work.
The truth is not always evading.
She told the truth early on.
In her reality show "The Truth Store", she already said that her condition was very bad, but she still couldn't stop her role as a "money tree".
I said I was exhausted
But no one listened to me
In "Night of Bad Comments", she also bluntly said that her current life is an abyss, so now it is a very two-sided life.
are also in this interview.
Even if she is a puppet, no one cares whether she is tired or not.
After she answered this sentence, her expression sank and she fell into sad and painful thoughts.
because no one cares.
On the contrary, if you talk too much, you will be scolded again.
Due to the confusion of fear answers and expressions, it is not easy for us to understand what she said.
On the contrary, her silence revealed more of herself.
When a reporter asked her what she thought of those keyboard warriors who were prosecuted.
At first, Cui Zhenli just said, "She is just unlucky."
The reporter asked, have you really forgiven her?
She smiled at first, then frowned and lowered her head, almost crying. At this time, the camera used three angles in the same frame, as if to record, and more like "staring" at her every move.
Suddenly, his head hung down weakly.
This is really scary.
was like a doll on strings that had ended its controlled state. In an instant, it became lifeless.
Her tears finally fell.
During the interview, during Cui Zhenli’s long silence, you will find that she has many different emotions, which will appear at the same time in a short period of time.
sometimes laughs, sometimes worries, and sometimes frowns.
Her anxiety made it impossible for her to maintain a stable mood.
Cui Zhenli’s last live broadcast.
She was covering her mouth with her hands and laughing, but without the background sound, her expression looked like she was crying.
Her depression must actually be very serious and requires timely intervention.
But just the day before her death, she was still filming commercials.
found out that there was a variety show waiting for her to film on the day she died.
Cui Zhenli hoped to get a moment of respite, but becoming a "big star" was a luxury.
Some people say that since you have gained so many fans and attention, you must learn to endure the abuse, the glare of the spotlight, the rules, and the money you get.
Therefore, no one regards them as "human beings".
People don’t seem to think that celebrities are human beings too
Don’t treat us as human beings
Choi Jin-ri’s seemingly understated remarks point directly to the high suicide rate among artists in the Korean entertainment industry.
In the past ten years, more than 30 Korean artists have committed suicide.
South Korean actor Park Jin-hee pointed out in the Yonsei University social welfare master's thesis "Research on Actors' Stress, Depression and Suicidal Thoughts" published in 2009 that 38.9% of actors are deeply troubled by depression and 40% have thought about suicide.
They are like pigs sent to the "Holy Island", a top notch product.
You must be
The most beautiful first-class product for the public
This is you
Even if people don’t say I am a product, they will treat me as a product
I must be what they want me to be.
I have to worry about losing product value
red pill, blue pill
asian, women, idol. These three words
are not easy to put together or take apart.
When these three words were placed on Cui Zhenli, a series of rejection reactions occurred, which seemed to be the most important reason why she embarked on this tragic path.
The aesthetic judgment she received was also the most harsh.
But a real person can be processed into a perfect product.
will also be bound to suffer pain when the "leftovers" of human nature are removed.
She once said that she wanted to be 20 years old soon.
The first is to be able to fall in love; the second is to do what you want to do.
But, it backfired.
Her emotional needs and independent personality are pushing each other.
Her boyfriend could not give it to her, and her mother gradually became alienated.
On the one hand, she wanted to escape from her mother, but on the other hand, she desperately longed for her mother's arms.
Unable to gain the understanding and companionship of her mother, she could only digest all the pain by herself.
When she finally had her own thoughts at a certain moment, it was even more painful.
Her thoughts, under the misinterpretation of the media and the secular framework, she became a slut.
In "Night of Bad Comments", Zhenli expressed frankly about her "no bra" behavior:
A bra is just a piece of "jewelry" on my body. If it feels uncomfortable, just take it off.
When she expressed this point of view, she also said calmly, "I am not wearing that jewelry now."
The men present were at a loss, and the women were even a little... angry or unwilling to face the truth?
What she said and done is being regarded as liberation by some women.
but.
As an idol, she seems to be the enemy of the whole world after taking this step.
At a book signing, Cui Zhenli met a girl. The female fan smiled and said to Zhenli: Sister, I am also a no bra.
Truth raised his thumb very happily and praised the girl.
Although, the environment she is in is full of shackles.
However, she is still trying hard to use some of her energy to make her own changes.
Unfortunately, she is no real opponent.
During the interview, she mentioned the red pill and blue pill in "The Matrix".
If you don’t know the truth, you may be happier than you are now.
Now, who will be blamed for her death?
Is it the keyboard warrior who scolded her, the Korean entertainer who knocked her bones and sucked her marrow, or the mother who didn't understand her or the boyfriend who left her?
Or should we blame the rigid and pedantic society that turns beauty into a commodity and uses crazy criticism as a selling point?
In the face of the disappearance of life, everything is meaningless.
Her death was like a scar left on Han Yu’s beautiful face.
makes people never forget it every time they look at it.
This society once killed a sincere girl.
What is sin
In the final analysis
Is it possible that it is the human heart
Truth released her new album "Goblin" in 2019. In this album, someone analyzed her yandere, split personality, and insanity. ...
In this song, I still can’t bear to speculate more about this peach-like girl.
In "Dorothy", there is such a lyrics:
It's meaningless, let's have hope.
is buried at the edge of imagination.
The air is empty. In the lost dreams,
Those lost dreams are dim.
Yin Under the sky you sing softly
Even if this paradise no longer exists
Even so.
Her music still resists the broken and empty reality. Even so for
.
She also wants to sing.
Today’s workers: Xiaotian refused to cut
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