Wang Guoping/text
01
Parents should not be teachers at home.
At that time, a first-grade child in our elementary school said: "Since I went to elementary school, my mother has changed and doesn't like me." I asked her: "Is it because your test scores are not good?" She nodded.
Later, I asked the mother about the situation. She said that the child was very obedient and obedient in the kindergarten. After entering elementary school, everything else was fine, but he did not study well and was a bit stupid. So, I have to accompany her to do homework every day when I go home, and I also help her with her homework in advance. She is very tired, and I am also very tired. I am like a teacher's assistant. When I am in a bad mood, I will lose my temper. Therefore, my girl said that I don't love her anymore.
Actually, there are two problems here: one is that children’s learning ability and development speed are different, and they must learn to wait and accept;
02
Losing is not terrible, but children who cannot afford to lose are terrible.
Prosperity, peace, and fewer children, among other factors, the status of children has reached an unprecedented height. As a result, it has become normal for parents to spoil their children, and children who are spoiled and exaggerated about their problems abound.
Including the influence of public opinion, children's status is a bit "falsely high", especially if they can't suffer, can't suffer, can't listen to criticism, they can't afford to lose.
A child from a friend's family showed self-consciousness in learning when he was in elementary school, so his grades were excellent, and he basically ranked among the top three in every exam. However, the mother found that once the child failed to take the first place in the test, her mood was extremely low. The mother consulted a psychologist and learned that the child's learning motivation came from "not being able to lose", because she did not allow others to surpass herself. The psychological state of
is extremely terrifying, and it belongs to extreme psychology, which must be relieved and returned to balance.
03
There are only six words for hindering children's growth: children are young and cannot do well.
Active growth is the nature and commonality of children, and it is the root of human genes and human reproduction.
But in many cases, this positive factor for children's growth is actually hindered by parents in the name of love. Specifically, when children actively try to do things as adults, parents use six-character reasons to say: the child is young and cannot do well. This is indeed the case with
. It is true that children are young, and because they are small, they cannot do well, but it is not a reason not to do it well. Because, there is no reason for children to grow up. For example, when children see their mother washing dishes, they think it is fun and want to participate, but many mothers will say: You can't wash clean, this is not your job, and then refuse. That's okay, and what's more, they will say: Don't make trouble! In one sentence, children's initiative to participate in life is blown away...
Therefore, parents must be reminded that when children show the signal of "I want to grow", parents and teachers can only support and help children to grow faster. On the contrary, if children are always prevented from growing up, over time, children will be rejected by their parents from life, and the consequence of this is "mom baby".
04
Family education has its own way, which varies from person to person.
Wang Dalong, vice chairman of the Family Education Professional Committee of the Chinese Society of Education, said that the same method may have completely different effects on two children, as the saying goes, "your honey is my arsenic."
Therefore, whenever we talk about tutoring methods, we should talk about a principle: tutoring has no "master key, only the method of suitability".
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