In the five years since she won the Berlin Film Festival, 54-year-old actor Yong Mei has continued to read, buy groceries, cook, and go for walks in the park as usual, defending the rights of ordinary people to "live a good life." At the age of 49, she played a leading role in a

4-year-old actor Yong Mei,

In the five years since winning the Berlin Film Festival,

is still the same as usual,

reading, shopping for food, cooking, and going for a walk in the park,

defends "living well" as ordinary people rights.

At the age of 49, she played the leading role in a movie for the first time.

won the Best Actress Award at the three major international film festivals.

Behind the miracle,

is an actress’s 20-year accumulation of strength.

Turn off the phone and read a book every day 2-3 hours,

Take care of yourself and others,

"It must be a good story that touches people's hearts.

If not, the female lead would rather not act."

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In February 2019, Yongmei starred in the movie "Eternal Life" won the Silver Bear Award for Best Actress at the Berlin Film Festival and became the first Berlin Best Actress in Mainland China. 》released in theaters,

The film is adapted from the true story of Aunt Su Min,

A woman in her 50s drove alone,

away from her alcoholic and domestically violent husband and trivial housework.

Yongmei's performances are mostly done in a small space inside the home.

is delicate, forbearing and restrained.

Many viewers commented: "On Teacher Yongmei's face,

I see a lot of my mother's face. Shadow makes me cry."

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Yongmei was interviewed by Yitiao

In early September, a film crew of Yitiao met Yongmei in Beijing.

Yongmei speaks very softly,

is like snowflakes falling on her palms,

has a rich and surging heart under her calm face.

She said that the most important thing is love and freedom,

"If you exchange freedom for (fame and wealth),

I think it is a bit too luxurious."

"We must build a greater spiritual world through learning. A kind of vastness,

is here At this moment, I haven't stopped."

Editor: Han Jiaqi

Editor: Chen Ziwen

In the five years since she won the Berlin Film Festival, Yongmei has been as unproductive as ever. She doesn't appear in variety shows or reality shows. She only has one feature film in which she actually plays the leading role, which was "The Determination to Run Away" which was released not long ago.

During the rest of the time, she made guest appearances in her favorite movies. Although there were only a few scenes, she would carefully consider the role, down to every breath she took in her lines and the control of every facial muscle.

In the past, the number of scripts she found was one per year, but now it is two to three per year. The reality is helpless: "There are not as many scripts left for actresses of our age as I thought."

In fact, there are not many The so-called "big production" approached her agent, but they were all intercepted. The other party often said, "You don't accept this kind of national project," and then expressed regret, "There are so many people waiting in line."

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On the set of "Eternal Life", Yongmei often cried.

Yongmei's principle for taking on roles is very simple and constant: "The story must touch people's hearts." If it’s a good story, the second female lead will accept it, but if it’s an exaggerated, traffic-oriented film, the lead female lead would rather not. Whether a story is moving or not, her intuition and body will tell her. Many years ago, when she got the script of "Eternal Life", she read it in an afternoon and almost shed tears.

Until 2022, the role that made her feel spiritual resonance again came. Yongmei read the story of Aunt Su Min's self-driving trip on the "People" public account. Almost at the same time, director Yin Lichuan was also hit by this story.

"We were shocked at the same time that an aunt in her 50s could have the courage to break through the restrictions on her." A woman trapped in motherhood used the money she earned from working to buy a van and left without hesitation the alcoholism and domestic violence. A husband, a loveless marriage, and living a second life on the road.

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In the movie "Determination to Run Away", "Li Hong" played by Yongmei has been trapped in the shackles of her family for most of her life

With the efforts of an all-female team, this movie about the "modern version of Nora" Landed. Li Hong, played by Yong Mei, is based on Su Min. The difference is that this movie tells the story of "the eve of running away". What did a woman go through that led her to run away from home?

In the film, we see a suffocating husband who bosses his wife around, suppresses her, belittles her, and treats her as his free nanny; a daughter who has just become a mother transfers the childcare labor to her mother out of traditional inertia; A pair of parents who favor boys over girls deprived her of the qualification to take the college entrance examination and directed her life for the rest of her life.

"You have seen too many thousands of women with the same fate as her around you." In the character Li Hong, Yongmei saw part of herself and her mother.

Yongmei was born in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia in 1970. On weekdays, her mother always favored her brother, and she had to take on more housework early on. After her parents divorced, Yongmei and her brother lived with their mother, and her mother took care of the whole family. "Her marriage brought her a lot of hardships because her father was well educated, but her mother was not." The disparity in their lifestyles and spiritual worlds put her mother in the shadow of marriage.

My father is spiritual, loves philosophy and art, and is an electrical engineer. Before each meeting, Yongmei often worried that her father would talk about philosophy and she would not be able to understand it.But the other world in her heart also comes from this: "Slowly you will feel like something is ignited, and I will be different. There is another territory in my heart."

My mother is an ordinary worker and is educated. The level is not high, the personality is strong, and the desire to control is strong. "Like our previous generation, they are all in a traditional and domesticated model." In her youth, there was a long-term confrontation between Yongmei and her mother. "I always said the opposite of what she said." Her mother did not allow her to wear bell-bottom pants on the grounds that girls should not be too flamboyant, so she just wore them. Go to school.

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After graduating from university, Yongmei worked for a company in Shenzhen.

It was not until middle age that Yongmei began to understand her mother's limitations. The mother who was once "gloomy" and "worldly" in front of her father was also a single mother who had no skills at all. She could only move from the factory floor to the family all day long, confining her life to two narrow ends.

My mother actually has a bigger world in her heart. She loves traveling and her dream is to "travel around the world". In 1992, after Yongmei graduated from university, she wanted to go south to work in Shenzhen. Most people were opposed to it. "I think that place is scary and materialistic." However, her mother was a firm supporter. "If you have the ability, go out." "Prove it to me."

Yongmei's stubbornness also comes from this. She has been proving to herself all her life, "Prove that you can be independent, you are not inferior to boys, and you are valuable in society."

Because of her reserved and gentle temperament, for a long time, Yongmei has starred in various family dramas as a "good woman" who meets traditional expectations. She is a good wife, a good mother, and a good daughter.

In the 2004 hit drama "Chinese Divorce", the character Xiao Li played by Yongmei is a representative of the first generation of independent women after the reform and opening up. After being betrayed by her husband, she took the initiative to divorce and took care of her life alone with her children. "Live a decent life" and "have no resentment"; then in the TV series "Filial Son", Yongmei played the filial and kind-hearted "daughter-in-law" Xie Yan, a role known as the "perfect woman". Whenever her husband works late at night When she got home, she prepared a sumptuous dinner and welcomed her warmly; in the movie "Eternal Life", she played Wang Liyun, a mother who lost her only child. She was also a kind and tolerant woman who harbored feelings for her husband after losing her fertility. Guilt.

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In the 2004 hit drama "Chinese Divorce", Yongmei played the second female lead "Xiao Li"

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In the movie "Eternal Life", Yongmei plays the role of Wang Liyun, the mother who lost her only child. A kind and forbearing wife

In 2020, the second year after winning the Silver Bear Award, 50-year-old Yongmei waited for a brand new female script, an angry, resisting, full-time mother who wanted revenge. This is also her first collaboration with director Yin Lichuan.

At that time, Yin Lichuan asked her to star in a short film "Reshape" in the feminist drama "Hear Her Say". The 13-minute film is full of her powerful monologue. After her husband cheated on her, she picked up her boxing gloves and hit the sandbag hard: "Don't be reasonable this time. I've had enough.""

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Director Yin Lichuan (right) and Yongmei (left) on the set of the short film "Reshape"

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html In the 4 short film "Reshape", Yongmei plays a "resistance" mother for the first time.

Why choose Yongmei? Mei? Director Yin Lichuan keenly captured the "turbulence" in Yongmei, which is the hidden part of her calm face, "the kind of turbulence that wants to fight and jump out of the suppression."

This is Yongmei. There is a part of her body that few people understand, a decisive force that fights in silence. In most cases, she takes things as she comes, and there is no such thing as "not giving up until the goal is achieved" in her life. But in principle, she is clear-cut: "As long as she doesn't give up." If I choose not to do it, I will not do it no matter what it is. "

Yongmei's personality doesn't like liveliness, especially when she was young. She was tired of how to assess the situation, how to deal with small circles, and obey invisible rules. She "often said inappropriate things", and because In this way, she has maintained an alienated relationship with the entertainment industry. In 2004, "Chinese Style Divorce" was launched. After, The ratings once soared to 20%. Walking on the street, Yongmei began to be recognized. Some people called her character's name in the play "Xiao Li". She had to put on sunglasses and a hat to look like a star. Wrap it up.

"It seems that I am already very special, but when I get along with my friends, I am a bit too superior and ignore other people's feelings." Phone calls and dinner parties also came to her, and she was sensitively aware of the price behind this kind of life.

Not long after, she turned off her phone and never answered the phone. Nearly 20 years later, she only used text messages and WeChat to respond to work, "What is really good and what I want will definitely come to me." "Nowadays, Yongmei's phone is basically open only to takeaways and couriers.

Another surge comes from her deep desire to "break the rules." When she was young, she drove an off-road vehicle, liked horseback riding, and enjoyed the freedom of the wind and lightning. It feels like, "I like to go wild, that's it." When I was a child, "I was very curious, so I took apart the clock at home, used the strings to make the guzheng, and then tried to mix various dishes together to watch it. "What does it taste like?" "When I was very young, I even lied to my parents, just to keep my sovereignty in my hands. "

Over the years, Yongmei began to study feminist books and seriously reviewed her relationship with her mother. She often remembered that her mother also had a crazy side. Her mother loved riding horses and swinging, and could swing her body parallel to the ground. The 70-year-old At that time, she also asked Yongmei to take her on a pirate ship. She always believed that the "wild child" gene in her body was very similar to her mother's, and Yongmei's personality was also fierce. , once it broke out, there was a burst of sparks in the silence. Not long ago, Fa Xiao talked to her about his childhood past, "Yongmei, you had a bad temper when you were young. There is a saying in Beijing called 'Short-twisted firecrackers, one point. Just explode', you're like that. "

She once told a story to "People". When she was in college, she and her roommate had a dispute over which way to pull the curtain blocking the bed. In a fit of rage, she cut the curtain in half, which frightened her roommate. A jump. Now Yongmei no longer wants to mention this story, "I'm afraid she will be sad when she sees it."

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Yongmei participated in the Black Panther band's MV "don't break my heart"

She later traced that her extreme emotions stemmed from the lack of love and communication while growing up. When she was a child, Yongmei was always commented by her family as "not like a Mongolian girl". Mongolian girls should be good at singing and dancing, but she was always shy and avoidant.

This kind of behavior is often misunderstood as a kind of "introverted". Yongmei later understood: "It is actually inferiority, because I feel inferior to my brother. You help your mother in everything, but she always accuses you and so on. If you are not taken care of, you will feel inferior." "

Inferiority and arrogance have waxed and waned in her body. When she first entered the industry, Yongmei went through a competitive stage, "I won't play the leading female lead", "Obviously the producer also said that I was suitable to play the leading female lead, but why didn't I be chosen?", resentful And jealousy accumulated in her heart, making it impossible for her to carry out her daily life smoothly.

She also saw the unfair things in this world, such as seniority in the circle and the insincerity and compromise in interpersonal relationships. Faced with these, her heart was in turmoil and could not be calmed down.

She now recalls: "These things make people very ugly, and it is easy for people to be captured by desire."

Desire and emotion are sometimes like a wild horse, how to control it instead of being controlled by it, It is a process that requires practice.

When she was in Beijing in her 20s, the Mongolian girl Yongmei really started learning equestrian for the first time. She started riding horses because of her husband, Luan Shu. At that time, Luan Shu had left the Black Panthers and used all his savings to build a horse farm in the western suburbs of Beijing.

For a long time, Luan Shu often couldn't make ends meet. The two of them lived in the house they built and lived in a paradise. Just like what is sung in the Mongolian folk song: "White clouds are floating in the blue sky, and horses are running below the white clouds."

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In 2021, Yongmei and her husband Luan Shu sang "One River, Two Geese" together. Yongmei said: "Everyone is lonely in the end, but human survival and life are still inseparable from emotions, so why not be in a good relationship?" Observe the "Practice Calm" method on your body. She mentioned the influence of her husband Luan Shu on her many times, "His character is very gentle. He doesn't feel anxious when I am anxious, because he is the kind of person who has a lot of love."

Reading is also her way to find peace. After graduating from college, Yongmei experienced the invisible control of desire on people in Shenzhen. In the 1990s, Shenzhen could receive Hong Kong TV stations, but various entertainment variety shows were not available in the mainland. "It's very attractive. It seems like there is only TV every day."

"Then one day, I felt that I couldn't spend all my good time on this. I tried turning off the TV and started reading." After a few times, Yongmei found that giving up TV was not that difficult. She started reading Sanmao's books At first glance, she saw a more adventurous life.

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Yongmei was studying in the park

She later realized that turning off the TV was actually the first step in spiritual practice. "Start bit by bit, you have to choose what you like." In the current era of short videos, Yongmei rarely indulges in mobile phones. When she opens the book, her heart sinks. Behind this is the daily life of Japan. Training tirelessly day after day.

Another little thing that Yongmei often mentions is the "temptation of a skirt". At that time, Shenzhen was a pilot city for reform and opening up, and consumerism was prevalent earlier than in the mainland. After get off work, Yongmei often went to department stores. A beautiful skirt was twice her monthly salary. Before falling asleep, Yongmei closed her glasses and all she could think about was herself in a skirt in the mirror.

"It was a struggle at that time. How can I get this skirt?" There were some visible "shortcuts" that were open to her. After graduation, she was often reminded of the power that beauty brings to people. When looking for a job, she is always hired more easily than others. When she enters the company, she is easily favored by men. She has various conveniences and some rich and powerful men will approach her, even those who have already A wealthy businessman entering into marriage.

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Yongmei when she was young

Talking about this experience, Yongmei’s calm voice had a slight ups and downs, "I felt terrible later", "But in fact, there is still a stubborn part in my heart, plus the influence of my father. , he instilled in me a sense of female independence since I was a child." His father lived in poverty all his life. After the reform and opening up, he refused to make money that he shouldn't. "If he can maintain the most basic life, he will be OK." Two years later, Yongmei returned to Beijing from Shenzhen and became the host of Xu Gehui Studio. Start as a human being and build your own life step by step.

As she got older, beauty became the most insignificant thing for her. When shooting for magazines and advertisements, she asked the photographer not to remove all her wrinkles. There was no beauty camera in her mobile phone. Her agent said: "She probably doesn't even know what it is." In the photos she shared on Weibo, her hair is often tied up casually, exposing her forehead, and her face is bare.

In the entertainment industry, Yongmei rarely feels "in control of herself". Acting is often considered a passive profession, but she believes that she has always had the right to choose, and not catering is one of the ways she chooses.

Around 2006, she discovered that the rules of the film and television industry began to be completely rewritten by commercialization. "It has become fast food, and there is no time for you to create." Yongmei remembers a play, and she went to tell the director how to handle the scene. The other party said, don't talk drama to me. "At its most exaggerated, dozens of pages have to be shot in a day. As long as you complete this schedule, the scene is over." This assembly line working mode makes her feel meaningless, "So I am actually very indifferent and have a lot of fun." If there are no good ones, I’ll forget about them.” After "Nie Yinniang", Yongmei "disappeared" again , because her father and mother passed away one after another, she spent 4 years in retreat, reading a lot of philosophy, religion, and psychology, and thinking deeply about the issues of life and death.

In the ever-changing film and television industry, pause is a huge risk. Too many actors, after leaving the entertainment industry for several years, find that the direction of the tide has changed and they can no longer find their original position.

But for Yongmei, unexamined desire is more dangerous. "Exchanging freedom for (fame and wealth) is a bit too luxurious for me. You have to strive for a lifestyle that allows you to have more freedom. Up to this moment, I have not stopped.”

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During the epidemic, Yongmei began to teach herself guitar

Now, 54-year-old Yongmei cooks, reads, walks every day, and lives a serious life. In spring, she waits for the spring to bloom; in autumn, she waits The fall of fruit.

On days when she is not filming, she goes to yoga classes regularly, just to reduce interruptions. She no longer goes to large classes with many people. She insists on cooking every day. She has been making scrambled eggs with tomatoes for half her life. It is still her favorite. It is simple. , delicious and nutritious. The cooking can be left to the aunt at home, but she stubbornly sticks to the kitchen, "Cooking is a family atmosphere, and at that moment two people can talk together. "

She also has to take care of housework. Blocked sewers, broken light bulbs, dirty stoves, and dust on the floor are all dealt with by her. At other times, she takes care of herself as much as possible.

She has a fixed routine every afternoon. The reading time must be 2-3 hours. Reading is a habit developed in youth. Just like eating and drinking, the spiritual world also needs to be full.

Since 2019, Yongmei and a well-known book brand have launched it. She has a reading plan - the Yong Reading Plan. In the past 5 years, she has shared more than 50 books. The book lists are all her carefully considered choices. They must be read by herself. There is no chicken soup, no successful learning, only serious reading. , from poetry and literature to art history and sociology.

Recently, she is planning to start sharing the M series produced by Utopia, which is a large, thick single volume with the sentence "Calm" printed on it. The world of reading is boiling again."

Now surrounded by Internet technology, Yongmei attaches great importance to the "physical" experience in daily life. For example, her messages to her aunt at home are written by hand as much as possible. She believes in this subtle Emotional transmission cannot be replaced by text on WeChat. When she was young, she followed the trend and typed out a printed letter to her father on her computer. Unexpectedly, her father replied sternly, "This word has no emotion." She once revealed in a celebrity interview: "My personality is that I don't like to stand in the spotlight. I feel that when you walk on the street, you blend in with everyone. (In this way ) You won’t feel unfree. "

Twenty years later, she still has not surrendered her rights as an "ordinary person" and is still a good observer behind the crowd. Walking on the street, she helps women lying in the shade of the roadside trees to take a nap. She paused as a delivery boy to feel the effort, forbearance, and triviality that ordinary people have to endure in life.

's persistence in daily life and compassion for people gave her the nourishment to act well. Many people have seen that a person can defend his own world without a strong sense of being a protagonist, just like the name her father gave her, which comes from "Bu Suanzi: Yong Mei", "Beauty does not fight for spring, but only repays spring when it comes." . When the mountain flowers were in full bloom, she smiled among the bushes. "

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Each age brings a different experience to Yongmei. The older she gets, the more she knows how to let go of her anxiety: "You don't have much time to be happy, so why do you let it occupy so much of your life? And time”

0 years later, time has brought Yongmei satisfaction and freedom like never before, and she is more calm than ever. Facing the noise of the media, she already knows how to catch it.

“Through learning, you can build a greater spiritual world in your heart. You will have methods and channels to solve the so-called difficulties and fears. This feeling is very good.”