Text | Xiaowen Shakespeare once said: "To be too considerate is because you are afraid of losing." Sensible women often give people an impression of gentleness, selflessness, and tolerance. If you are such a woman, you will most likely do it in order to maintain a relationship. A

Text | Xiaowen

Shakespeare once said:

"To be too considerate is because you are afraid of losing."

Sensible women often give people a gentle, selfless and tolerant impression. If you are such a woman, you will probably do it for Maintain a relationship and choose to bear the pressure and grievances silently.

But are you really happy? Have you received more love because you are sensible? If not, why are you so sensible?

Women who lack love often have these two characteristics. I hope you don’t have either.

01. Women who are too sensible tend to automatically aggrieve themselves.

Many times, sensible women always tend to take the initiative to give in in relationships. No matter how much unwillingness they have in their hearts, they will not express it easily.

You will be afraid that your request will bring burden to the other party, so you will always choose to endure it silently.

Whether it is a small friction between lovers or the distribution of responsibilities in the family, you will always be the first to stand up and take responsibility. You firmly believe that as long as you are sensible and considerate enough, you will be cherished and recognized by the other person.

However, the price of compromising is often a constant devaluation of self-worth.

You habitually ignore your own needs, just to get a kind word or a smile from the other party. However, over time, the other party may get used to your concessions and think it is natural, and they will not understand you. , let alone respect you.

A sensible woman who is too sensible will make herself lonely, and will make men not cherish you.

Are you still sensible?

02. Women who are too sensible often feel guilty when they reject a man.

In a relationship, one of the most difficult problems for a sensible woman to face is "rejection". You are unwilling to reject a man, even if you face some unreasonable demands, you will feel a strong sense of guilt.

Such guilt stems from a deep-seated insecurity: fear that rejection will lead to dissatisfaction with the other person, or even fear of losing the other person's love because of it.

Su Jin said in "Women Wake Up Soon":

"In the many tragic marriage dramas I have heard and seen, many problems in intimate relationships are derived from the family of origin."

Yes.

This mentality can be traced back to childhood. When you were a child, you may not have received enough support and recognition from your family. Whenever you want to express your true needs, you may encounter suppression and criticism from your parents, so slowly, you learn to cater to your parents in exchange for their smiles and care.

And you will develop a "Stockholm complex", thinking that parents are not easy and hard work, and you feel that once you reject them, you will feel sorry for them.

When you grow up, this please pattern unconsciously extends to every intimate relationship you have, allowing you to develop a non-rejection pattern: you would rather sacrifice yourself than face the risk of rejection.

03. Habitually wronging yourself and not daring to reject others often means that you lack love.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once mentioned that childhood experiences will have a profound impact on a person's life. If a person did not receive unconditional love from his parents when he was a child and was always required to be sensible and obedient, then when they grow up, they will often bring this "pleasant personality" into intimate relationships.

Women who are too sensible may often hear comments like this when they were young: "You are so good and obedient." In such an environment, you will gradually form a perception: Only when you are sensible and well-behaved enough , in order to exchange for the attention and love of parents. This knowledge is deeply rooted in your heart and will grow with you.

A woman who is too sensible may have suffered too much harsh criticism from her parents when she was a child.

When you achieve something, they fail to praise you and may still criticize you harshly. When you need support, they not only fail to support you, but may even hold you back.As a result, you internalize the illusion that you need to please in order to get love.

You never dare to be your true self because you are afraid of being suppressed, isolated, accused, and abandoned. You always feel that you can only get a little bit of their recognition and love for you if you are particularly sensible.

As a result, when you enter into an intimate relationship as an adult, you will unconsciously follow this approach. You are always careful to maintain harmony and dare not express your dissatisfaction and needs. You are afraid that once you reveal your true self, you will be rejected and abandoned.

do you know? Habitually abusing yourself and not daring to reject a man often means that in your early years, you found that your parents did not satisfy your desire for love well and that you were in need of love.

04. Mei Niang said

In "Antifragility: Becoming a Strong-Hearted Person", the author said:

"In intimate relationships, we often hope to make up for the trauma caused by growth. In the original family, the biggest trauma is It is because we cannot be accepted unconditionally. We live in accusations and demands, fall into self-doubt, and think that we are not worthy of being loved. If we do not get confirmation that we are "worthy of being loved" in our family of origin, then in intimate relationships, we will have problems. Hope it's proven."

Yes.

Have you ever cried alone in the middle of the night, feeling that you have done well enough but still don’t get the love you want? Do you feel the emptiness and dissatisfaction in your heart amidst the repeated compromises and concessions?

In fact, behind being too sensible, there is often a deep lack of love hidden. You long to be loved and recognized, but you dare not face your own needs openly. You are afraid that once you are no longer sensible and tolerant, the other person will leave you and abandon you.

However, true love never requires you to sacrifice yourself in exchange for it. Wronging yourself will only make the other person mistakenly think that you have no bottom line and cannot refuse him. In the end, he will not truly understand your inner desire. The more sensible you are, the easier it is for you to be ignored or even lose yourself.

If one day you find yourself lacking love, remember this sentence and be true to yourself! You win.

do you know? Only by being true to yourself can you get true and healthy love.

Really healthy love is based on the encounter and collision of the true self. You have to believe that the person who loves you will not stop loving you because of your rejection, nor will he leave you because you express your needs and reject him.

On the contrary, only when you have the courage to be your true self will you meet the person who truly loves you and understands you.

You don't need to be sensible all the time. You can allow yourself to be willful occasionally, allow yourself to express dissatisfaction, and allow yourself to say "no". Only when you learn to love yourself and respect your own feelings can you get the respect and treasure you deserve in a relationship.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said:

"True love is what it is, fake love is what I want."

Real love is not to satisfy the other party's expectations, but based on each other's truth and honesty. Only when you live truly enough and have enough sense of deservingness can you achieve a high-quality intimate relationship.

Woman, you are so sensible, you must be in need of love, right?

From today on, try to let go of those unnecessary compromises and patience, and learn to live for yourself. You deserve true love, and this love comes from your acceptance and respect for yourself. Only when you believe that you are worthy of being loved, the love you want will come to you naturally.

Text | Xiaowen

Shakespeare once said:

"To be too considerate is because you are afraid of losing."

Sensible women often give people a gentle, selfless and tolerant impression. If you are such a woman, you will probably do it for Maintain a relationship and choose to bear the pressure and grievances silently.

But are you really happy? Have you received more love because you are sensible? If not, why are you so sensible?

Women who lack love often have these two characteristics. I hope you don’t have either.

01. Women who are too sensible tend to automatically aggrieve themselves.

Many times, sensible women always tend to take the initiative to give in in relationships. No matter how much unwillingness they have in their hearts, they will not express it easily.

You will be afraid that your request will bring burden to the other party, so you will always choose to endure it silently.

Whether it is a small friction between lovers or the distribution of responsibilities in the family, you will always be the first to stand up and take responsibility. You firmly believe that as long as you are sensible and considerate enough, you will be cherished and recognized by the other person.

However, the price of compromising is often a constant devaluation of self-worth.

You habitually ignore your own needs, just to get a kind word or a smile from the other party. However, over time, the other party may get used to your concessions and think it is natural, and they will not understand you. , let alone respect you.

A sensible woman who is too sensible will make herself lonely, and will make men not cherish you.

Are you still sensible?

02. Women who are too sensible often feel guilty when they reject a man.

In a relationship, one of the most difficult problems for a sensible woman to face is "rejection". You are unwilling to reject a man, even if you face some unreasonable demands, you will feel a strong sense of guilt.

Such guilt stems from a deep-seated insecurity: fear that rejection will lead to dissatisfaction with the other person, or even fear of losing the other person's love because of it.

Su Jin said in "Women Wake Up Soon":

"In the many tragic marriage dramas I have heard and seen, many problems in intimate relationships are derived from the family of origin."

Yes.

This mentality can be traced back to childhood. When you were a child, you may not have received enough support and recognition from your family. Whenever you want to express your true needs, you may encounter suppression and criticism from your parents, so slowly, you learn to cater to your parents in exchange for their smiles and care.

And you will develop a "Stockholm complex", thinking that parents are not easy and hard work, and you feel that once you reject them, you will feel sorry for them.

When you grow up, this please pattern unconsciously extends to every intimate relationship you have, allowing you to develop a non-rejection pattern: you would rather sacrifice yourself than face the risk of rejection.

03. Habitually wronging yourself and not daring to reject others often means that you lack love.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once mentioned that childhood experiences will have a profound impact on a person's life. If a person did not receive unconditional love from his parents when he was a child and was always required to be sensible and obedient, then when they grow up, they will often bring this "pleasant personality" into intimate relationships.

Women who are too sensible may often hear comments like this when they were young: "You are so good and obedient." In such an environment, you will gradually form a perception: Only when you are sensible and well-behaved enough , in order to exchange for the attention and love of parents. This knowledge is deeply rooted in your heart and will grow with you.

A woman who is too sensible may have suffered too much harsh criticism from her parents when she was a child.

When you achieve something, they fail to praise you and may still criticize you harshly. When you need support, they not only fail to support you, but may even hold you back.As a result, you internalize the illusion that you need to please in order to get love.

You never dare to be your true self because you are afraid of being suppressed, isolated, accused, and abandoned. You always feel that you can only get a little bit of their recognition and love for you if you are particularly sensible.

As a result, when you enter into an intimate relationship as an adult, you will unconsciously follow this approach. You are always careful to maintain harmony and dare not express your dissatisfaction and needs. You are afraid that once you reveal your true self, you will be rejected and abandoned.

do you know? Habitually abusing yourself and not daring to reject a man often means that in your early years, you found that your parents did not satisfy your desire for love well and that you were in need of love.

04. Mei Niang said

In "Antifragility: Becoming a Strong-Hearted Person", the author said:

"In intimate relationships, we often hope to make up for the trauma caused by growth. In the original family, the biggest trauma is It is because we cannot be accepted unconditionally. We live in accusations and demands, fall into self-doubt, and think that we are not worthy of being loved. If we do not get confirmation that we are "worthy of being loved" in our family of origin, then in intimate relationships, we will have problems. Hope it's proven."

Yes.

Have you ever cried alone in the middle of the night, feeling that you have done well enough but still don’t get the love you want? Do you feel the emptiness and dissatisfaction in your heart amidst the repeated compromises and concessions?

In fact, behind being too sensible, there is often a deep lack of love hidden. You long to be loved and recognized, but you dare not face your own needs openly. You are afraid that once you are no longer sensible and tolerant, the other person will leave you and abandon you.

However, true love never requires you to sacrifice yourself in exchange for it. Wronging yourself will only make the other person mistakenly think that you have no bottom line and cannot refuse him. In the end, he will not truly understand your inner desire. The more sensible you are, the easier it is for you to be ignored or even lose yourself.

If one day you find yourself lacking love, remember this sentence and be true to yourself! You win.

do you know? Only by being true to yourself can you get true and healthy love.

Really healthy love is based on the encounter and collision of the true self. You have to believe that the person who loves you will not stop loving you because of your rejection, nor will he leave you because you express your needs and reject him.

On the contrary, only when you have the courage to be your true self will you meet the person who truly loves you and understands you.

You don't need to be sensible all the time. You can allow yourself to be willful occasionally, allow yourself to express dissatisfaction, and allow yourself to say "no". Only when you learn to love yourself and respect your own feelings can you get the respect and treasure you deserve in a relationship.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said:

"True love is what it is, fake love is what I want."

Real love is not to satisfy the other party's expectations, but based on each other's truth and honesty. Only when you live truly enough and have enough sense of deservingness can you achieve a high-quality intimate relationship.

Woman, you are so sensible, you must be in need of love, right?

From today on, try to let go of those unnecessary compromises and patience, and learn to live for yourself. You deserve true love, and this love comes from your acceptance and respect for yourself. Only when you believe that you are worthy of being loved, the love you want will come to you naturally.