The road for children begins with their parents.
The real "not losing at the starting line" is that parents spare no effort to improve themselves.
Author | Tomato Mom
A few days ago, I watched a particularly sad documentary "Father". The protagonists of the
documentary are a rural father and son, Han Peiyin, the father, and Han Shengli, the son.
In 2002, his son Han Shengli finally got admitted to Xi'an Petroleum University majoring in communication engineering. His father sold the family's most valuable cow and grain, and borrowed another 3,000 yuan from relatives and friends, so that he could barely make up for his son's first year's education. tuition fee.
In order to pay for his son’s tuition and living expenses, his father also went to work in Xi’an, earning at most four to five hundred yuan a month.
He keeps 150 yuan for himself and 200 yuan for his son’s living expenses.
But for Han Shengli, the money was only enough for him to eat vegetable bibimbap every meal at school. It was not enough for expenses, let alone some books.
Whenever he asked his father for living expenses, his father would show him the notebook he carried with him. In addition to recording every debt he owed,
also contains what he wanted to say to his son:
"It's not easy for your parents to support you."
"These accounts are all borrowed for your schooling."
"You will be in the future. You must make a difference!"
...
Han Shengli remained silent every time he looked at these contents, feeling filled with guilt.
He didn’t want to work part-time outside to reduce the burden on his family.
But my father firmly did not allow it, because in his opinion, the main task of students is to study, and if they have part-time time, it is better to use it to study hard.
So whenever he had free time, he would go around the campus picking up bottles and selling them for money.
Sometimes, for a few mineral water bottles, he can linger on the basketball court for a long time.
Throughout his college career, Han Shengli lived a fussy life, wearing clothes that his classmates did not want, and even his watch was given by his cousin.
Moreover, Han Shengli majored in communication engineering, which requires practical operation on mobile phones and computers, but his father regarded the Internet as a scourge and did not allow him to access the Internet.
Results Although Han Shengli has solid theoretical knowledge, he has almost no practical skills.
After graduating from college, Han Shengli attended a job fair for the first time. He wandered around the venue for two hours without saying a word.
Poverty, low self-esteem, and introversion have long been ingrained in his bones. He does not even have the most basic social skills.
This caused him to repeatedly hit the wall when looking for a job. Later, he finally found a job working on outdoor cables in Qinghai. He worked hard for only 600 yuan a month.
A few years later, the director went to find the father and son again and found that Han Shengli resigned and returned to Xi'an to find a new job with a salary of 1,500 yuan.
Facing the director's return visit, my father couldn't help but sigh.
He could never understand that his son, who had sold iron to go to college, only had a monthly salary of 1,500 yuan; while his daughter, who had graduated from a technical secondary school and was working in Shenzhen, could earn 3,000 to 4,000 yuan a month, twice as much as his son.
Someone asked him if his grandchildren would let him go to college in the future?
He sighed and said, "I think reading is useless."
Is reading really useless? of course not.
I am reminded of Cai Leilei's words:
"The true meaning of poverty is the things that parents can never give their children and they themselves do not have. In addition to cars and houses, there is also thinking, cognition and structure."
Children are parents of a mirror.
Many times, this kind of poverty of thinking will be projected onto the children through the parents and passed on from generation to generation.
Do you still remember that genius boy Zhang Xinyang?
has an IQ of 140+. He entered university at the age of 10, passed the master's degree at the age of 13, and studied for a doctorate at the age of 16, becoming the youngest doctorate in China at that time.
He was once dubbed the "Prodigy", and wherever he went, there were flowers and applause.
Later, when he was 28 years old, he had no fixed job, only a few thousand yuan left in his bank card, and needed support from his parents from time to time.
From a child prodigy to a giant baby, from everyone's envy to no one cares about it, from a young boy who is ambitious to a loser.
After reading Zhang Xinyang’s experience, it is not difficult to understand why he fell from the altar to the bottom.
Because, he originally had three chances to change his destiny.
The first time -
Zhang Xinyang took the college entrance examination when he was 10 years old. He got a score of 505 in the first test. As long as he repeats for one more year, there is no problem in sprinting to 985.
But in order to maintain the reputation of "the youngest undergraduate student", Zhang's father forcefully pushed him into a second-tier university.
The second time -
After Zhang Xinyang was admitted to graduate school, his professor specifically contacted the school in Germany, hoping to send Zhang Xinyang to study in Germany, because Germany is better at cultivating geniuses.
However, Germany requires that you are 14 years old before you can study abroad alone, and you need to wait another year.
But Zhang's father was anxious for his son to win the title of "the youngest graduate student" and insisted on his own way, demanding that Zhang Xinyang must study for graduate school in Beijing.
Zhang Xinyang could only compromise again, and therefore lost the opportunity to receive a better education.
The third time -
In 2011, he asked his parents to buy an apartment in Beijing, otherwise he would not study for a Ph.D.
In fact, he has already concluded through data calculation and evaluation that this year is the freezing point of housing prices in Beijing, and his family can afford the down payment for a house.
However, his parents did not listen to him. In order to coax him to study for a Ph.D., they rented a house and lied to him about buying it.
If I had bought that apartment, it would be worth 10 million now.
Zhang Xinyang, who was deceived by his parents again, was completely discouraged and began to embark on the road of ruin.
If it weren't for his parents' short-sightedness, he would have passed the 985 exam at the age of 11, studied in Germany at the age of 14, and his family would have owned a Beijing real estate worth several million at the time and now 10 to 20 million.
The book "What the Poor Want" says: "The thinking of the poor is as scary as atomic reactions. It will cause conceptual deviations in children and affect a lifetime of luck and life."
What is more terrifying for a family than poverty is Poor people think.
If parents have rigid thinking and short-sightedness, they will only use narrow cognition to lock up the unlimited unknowns of their children.
eventually fell into the fate of generational poverty, and it will never be possible to break the shackles of class solidification.
So, parents who have neither a high degree of education nor a sufficient financial foundation can only surrender and give in?
certainly isn't.
was admitted to Peking University with a score of 707. Wang Xinyi, a girl from a poor family who wrote "Thanks to Poverty" is the best proof.
She was born in an ordinary rural family. When she was a child, she was often teased by her classmates because of her shabby clothes.
Once her pride was hurt and she ran home crying.
After her mother knew the reason, she comforted her seriously: "Don't pay attention to them, just work hard."
From then on, she understood: the road of life is not for others to see.
The journey to school every day is long and bumpy, but her mother insists on taking her and her brother to school every day. Even if it snows and is especially muddy, her mother will not complain about hardship or tiredness. Instead,
took her and her brother to play happily in the snow while listening to them explain the new knowledge they had learned.
Under the nourishment of her parents, Wang Xinyi has become more self-reliant and bright.
The class teacher once said of her:
"She is optimistic and cheerful, has a broad vision, and has a big picture. She is definitely not a student who only knows about studying in the traditional sense."
agrees with this sentence: The road for children starts with their parents.
As long as there are mountains and rivers in their hearts and mountains and rivers in their eyes, ordinary parents can still fight for a way out with their children within their capabilities.
So, how should parents of ordinary families improve their educational awareness and break down thinking barriers?
In today's society, many parents take exams as the purpose and regard grades as the only assessment criterion for their children.
But if you blindly study and neglect the cultivation of comprehensive abilities, you can only raise a child with high scores and low abilities.
Parents who are truly far-sighted will cultivate their children's comprehensive ability to adapt to society in the future.
1. Bringing children to see the world
In many cases, what limits a child’s future is not poverty, but knowledge and vision.
Parents can take their children on weekdays:
Go to the countryside to see where food comes from, and experience the joy and hardship of labor;
Go to aquariums and zoos, say hello to the lively little animals, and see the different aspects of this planet Life exists;
Go sightseeing in the great rivers and mountains of the motherland and learn about the local history, culture, customs and customs.
Go to small parks in the streets and mountain climbing in the suburbs, listen to the chirping of cicadas and birds, and watch fish playing in the water.
For children, getting to know and explore the world together with their parents is an opportunity to increase their experience.
2. Encourage children to interact with people
People are animals that live in groups. Children who cannot socialize will find it difficult to thrive in society.
's "Jewish mother" Salad, who raised her two sons into billionaires, one of the ways to educate her children is to let several children help set up a stall and sell spring rolls.
In the process of setting up a stall, the second son not only learned the skills of dealing with people, but also unexpectedly discovered his business talent.
Take your children to interact with people more, and encourage them to listen, empathize, and express themselves, so that they can go further in the future.
3. Cultivate children with an optimistic attitude
In recent years, due to a setback, children have frequently jumped off buildings and injured themselves.
Therefore, parents should cultivate their children's strong hearts from an early age and teach them to look at problems optimistically.
Let children learn to accept reality and face the setbacks in life calmly.
includes relationships with classmates, failed exams, lost pens, etc., letting him know that no one can have smooth sailing and that it is no big deal.
Some time ago, writer Yan Zhen was a guest in Dong Yuhui’s live broadcast room.
The two deeply discussed the difficulties of individuals changing their destiny.
At the end of the conversation, Dong Yuhui said this:
"I want to tell my friends in front of the camera that although what we said is true, please believe that it is not absolute.
There may be big fish in deep water and only small fish in shallow water, but if If you don’t go to sea, you won’t have any fish.”
For ordinary families, it is not easy to change their destiny, but if you don’t make changes, it will only become the fate passed down from generation to generation.
But if you are willing to change, over time, your child is the best answer.
Like and like , break the barriers of thinking and send your children to see a wider world.
