Who hasn’t watched this confession in the snow?
The ultimate romance and warmth!
If Zhuang Jie in episode 15 hopes to vent his emotions through "fake fire" and tries to force himself with "fake enthusiasm", then the phone conversation on a snowy night in episode 16 is truly lingering and intimate.
Far away, the snow is falling, the past is sobbing, the lover is warm, woo woo woo, Chen Huo Qian Jie is a fairy!
, let’s talk about it.
Zhuang Jie’s phrase “reluctantly” is not actually referring to Chen Maidong.
But she is forcing herself, it is a "reluctance" barrier between her mother and the world.
One, the constraints of a serious family view and the overload of love under anger
Before meeting Chen Maidong, Zhuang Jie and Liao Tao had a big argument.
Rather than saying that this dispute between Zhuang Jie and Liao Tao is just the value difference between an overly traditional mother with emotional trauma and her open-minded daughter who is "in love", it is better to say that it is another layer of "" deep in Zhuang Jie's heart. "Love separation" priorities, fighting with oneself.
The mother lost her stress due to worry, and Zhuang Jie further lost her stress because she wanted to "prove that her mother's worries were wrong," a chain reaction of love and resentment.
If Liao Tao classifies the behavior of "gnawing" in public as unseemly, it is an overly conservative bias; then her correct attitude that adults should be "responsible" in their relationships is another simple and common kind of justice. Looking forward to it.
Zhuang Jie's journey is far more difficult than ordinary people. Even though she is as beautiful as she is, she still needs comfort and support. Her mother, who has been her main support all these years, suddenly became her "stumbling block" due to excessive worry. Zhuang Jie is probably more difficult than others. There used to be a greater need to prove that “my legs are not a problem at all.”
Zhuang Jie is very free and independent. She loves to be enthusiastic and enthusiastic, and she bites when she likes. She does not agree with Liao Tao's concept of "girls still suffer". Against the potential background of the opening and closing of the old and the new and the conflict between generations, she single-handedly uses the beauty of a rose to confront Liao Tao and the thousands of years of conscious baggage of the entire town behind her.
But what she really wants to fight against is not the "hegemony of the old feudal mother" (because her mother was quickly persuaded to support them, and she is probably not far away from becoming a CP fan), but the healing feeling in her own heart. The closer the love is, the more timid the "person" becomes, and the closer the love, the more "afraid to take off my prosthetic limbs."
Intellectually, she tried to put on a short-term posture of "I can only have sex with you for three months", but emotionally she was reluctant to make progress or retreat.
You see, this unprepared and guilty conscience is the same as Zhuang Jie's hesitation before trying to get close to the crowd to dance during the New Year's Eve, using the illusion of enthusiasm to cover up the hesitation and reluctance.
uses a more burning attitude to cover up the pain of guilty conscience and irritability.
She obviously wants to "do happy things with a lover" with Chen Maidong, but she carries three hundred catties of negative explosives, three hundred catties of shadow shackles, three hundred catties of love, fear and hesitation.
The more intimate and passionate it becomes, the more out of control and uneasy it becomes.
On this night, Zhuang Jie inserted thorns into her own heart, and also pierced her lover's heart.
2. The invisible judgment of "you don't deserve beauty"
After Zhuang Jie was amputated in a car accident, she was randomly scrawled to "propose marriage" in high school, and was almost pushed into the "hasty marriage" (much older) polio "The end.
Because he lost a leg, he was cut off from all the wonderful ways to study, work, and knock on the door of the distant world.
His whole body was "injured" and everything was cut off;
Xiao Zhuangjie, who was so immature and full of infinite possibilities, was pushed to the edge of the grave where she was destined to be married off.
Rather than saying that this kind of kindness provides Zhuang Jie with support, it is better to say that he is narrow-minded and unaware of it, and uses the so-called help of essential discrimination to invisibly judge "you do not deserve beauty".
(I have no intention of discriminating against polio patients. The point I want to make is that everyone should have the initiative in their own life, rather than being rounded off and sentenced to "distribution".)
At that time, Zhuang Jie was almost persuaded. Fortunately, Zhuang Jie's mother scolded him and told Zhuang Jie to study hard. In other words, she allowed her to take the initiative in her own life.
Zhuang Jie has lived a tenacious and bright life in these years, jumping around happily wearing prosthetic legs, working harder and more prosperously than normal people. The prosthetic limb has long been a part of her body, even closer to her body than other native organs.
This is not only a physical "leg", but also a psychological "leg".
When she was a teenager, Chen Maidong told her that "a crutch can also be a weapon." Now for Zhuang Jie, prosthetic limbs are not weapons but are better than weapons.
That was her vigorous life that was cut off in the middle and then repaired itself. It was the deepest scar and the most dazzling medal; it was the detail that she perhaps least wanted to be noticed by others, and it was also the way for her to reconcile with misfortune and fate. Footnote.
You see, Zhuang Jie worked hard to bear the brightest fruits despite the misfortune and hardship, and did not want to show off to others.
In other words, this "psychological leg" is Zhuang Jie's other face.
It’s not that the body is better than the body, it’s the clear, bright and self-improving tone.
is a "passport to a beautiful world" that she has written for herself with her own flesh and blood over the years, refusing to give in, refuse to break, and disdain to fall.
Before Zhuang Jie had communicated this carefully and thoroughly, even though Zhuang Jie understood intellectually that Chen Maidong fully respected her and did not mind her disability, it was emotionally difficult for her to let go of her "subliminal pass protection."
3. Relapse of old injuries, overlapping pain, and different buffering progress between public and private contexts
Zhuang Jie’s ex-boyfriend ran away frightened at first glance at her legs.
Zhuang Jie is bright and strong, but being hurt so tragically at what should have been an intimate moment is inevitable. This kind of pain is like a poisonous giant snake, hiding in Zhuang Jie's internal organs, gnawing on it day and night, tangibly and invisibly. Eat her.
Speaking from personal experience, this is post-traumatic stress disorder that never really heals.
From the perspective of group attention, this is a general characteristic of trauma being difficult to see, take seriously, and heal in "private contexts."
When Zhuang Jie was a teenager, she suddenly lost a leg and had to face the big question of "how do disabled people get along with the world". She was sad, thorny and lonely, and after a long time of exploration and trial and error, she gradually transformed into the rose in flames she is today. .
Today's Zhuang Jie, who was already disturbed and suffering emotionally, was turned back to the bloody and unsolvable page of "how to deal with disability in an intimate relationship between the sexes", with old and new demons overlapping.
If "keeping this leg" in front of everyone is Zhuang Jie's long journey to find the new value of "I am who I am"; then in front of her lover, at the moment when intimate actions are "not really intimate", she repeatedly falls into The dilemma of "I'm missing a leg" is the long and unfinished psychological damage that follows the physical injury.
The "disability" problem in the public context is tangible, with understanding and help from all levels and dimensions of society, and a long progress bar; while the problem in the private context is more "intangible", equally important, but rounded off and nowhere to turn to. The gentle phone call at the end of episode
16, with bold capital letters, "A lover's kiss is the most gentle medicine in the world"; although it was impossible to kiss during the phone call in the snow, but it was a gentle and lingering kiss everywhere.
Every piece of snowflake is floating with a healing freshness and sweetness.
Four, the fear of love, the more you care about it, the more you subconsciously magnify it
Previously, Zhuang Jie took off his prosthetic limb late at night and cleaned the parts. Liao Tao looked worried, and Zhuang Jie responded with a bright smile. Only after the other party turned his head did he reveal a hint of melancholy and a touch of hurt. pregnant.
She did not want to worry her mother and tried her best to hide the fact that "actually I am missing a leg". This was her kind feedback to the people she loved.
On the other hand, Zhuang Jie is somewhat potentially "proud and inferior".
The so-called pride is not the kind of pretentiousness, but living passionately and with dignity;
has low self-esteem, as she said in the message she sent to Chen Maidong, and may need to prove her worth through some external attachments.
The intuitive consequence of this complex psychology may be that you want to show your best self in front of your lover, and you will be fearful and worried because of love.
The more you care about the other person, the more you wish you were a glowing cinnabar mole instead of faded mosquito blood.
Fortunately, Zhuang Jie has a mouth and Chen Ophiopogon japonicus has ears.
has "ears" and can really hear what women say. It has appeared in previous lines. At first glance, it looks like a joke, but it is actually a great "Su" advantage of gentleness.
has the joys and sorrows of the world in his eyes and the warmth of compassion in his ears.
In the snow, Zhuang Jie finally opened up about the past of being hurt repeatedly. Chen Maidong was so distressed and lamented. It was not only the disgusting "I feel sorry for you" of male love and female love, but also a kind of warmth based on the dignity of life.
I love the vicissitudes of your wounds that have been amputated by the years, and I love your strong forbearance and bright beauty of flying among the ruins.
Therefore, even if you smashed the precious "Little Tree Man" version of Zhuangjie porcelain under complex and high-pressure emotions, even if you were sad and said "forget it", you will still walk into your "hands" on a gentle snowy night. "Blood turns into roses" and his tears became part of the poem.
Comfortable Conclusion
In conservative narratives, sex is a secret part that is bundled and packaged in marriage but not mentioned. In the early stage, Zhuang Jie did a de-marriage cutting. It is already a big step forward for domestic romance films to "not shy away from love" and not engage in "asexual love". It is also a very eye-catching move to express the contradiction between sexual relations and disability identity.
A wound that has existed for thousands of years but everyone has subconsciously ignored, finally cried out through Zhuang Jie's mouth.
What I like very much about Zhuang Jie is that her pain, twisting, and bravery are all subconscious and real reactions of flesh-and-blood people, not 100% answers made out of thin air by a fictional perfect character.
The love is passionate, the pain is real, and the trauma and withdrawal are all relatable.
Whether it is Chen Maidong’s death lesson or Zhuang Jie’s synaesthesia when he talks about “reluctantly”, they all transcend a single individual and point to a sense of resonance that is connected with a broader life experience.
is not about eliminating all problems with one click and "the princes and princesses live happily together from now on", but through pain, love, and trouble, to reach a more authentic and synaesthetic life experience. In the love, hatred and resentment of others, Seeing the graceful snowflakes, lighting up the common tears and heart fire.
