Among Sister Lang, many people say that Miao Miao is very similar to Guo Biting, both of whom marry well.
While others were trying their best to perform, Guo Biting wore baggy clothes and sang simple songs. She didn't want to be the captain, she just wanted to go home, plant flowers and raise animals.
Miaomiao, on the other hand, wore a simple shirt and went on stage to dance her old school dance. The result was that the camera position was wrong, which added to the beauty of the artistic conception.
At first glance, it is indeed enviable. There is a feeling that wealth comes naturally without fighting or grabbing.
But as Guo Biting wrote not long ago, her relaxation is not something to be envied. It is completely self-destruction after being yoked by the patriarchy.
And Miaomiao's relaxation is also strange.
In fact, she doesn’t look like Guo Biting, but looks like Zhang Ziyi who was divorced not long ago.
These two seemingly unrelated people are both girls who were ignored in their original families, and they all have similar obstacles when they grow up.
Miaomiao was sent to a dance school to board at the age of ten. When she returned home, she found that her parents had given birth to a younger sister. She felt that her parents no longer wanted her.
This feeling of being ignored and abandoned made her a little awkward.
On the one hand, she strives to achieve excellent results while growing up to gain more attention and appreciation from her parents. How excellent is it? While working as a dancer in the Song and Dance Troupe of the General Political Department, he won the third-class merit medal.
But on the other hand, it cannot hide the cowardice and low self-esteem in the character. It is easy for evil people to smell the smell and exert malicious intent, becoming a soft persimmon in the group.
So growing up, she was always bullied. Even when she participated in the talent show as an adult, everyone got along well with each other on the surface, but in fact everyone was scolding her in private.
's repeated experiences of bullying caused her to have severe self-doubt. Every time she participated in group activities, she was extremely afraid that everyone would dislike her. When
exposed her vulnerability in front of the camera for the first time, she cried completely and collapsed. She was speechless several times, and she even prayed, hoping that everyone would not dislike her.
She was neglected as a child, leaving her with a strong sense of unworthiness.
This also made her, who has always performed well, choose to be a "bad student" in the domestic entertainment Vanity Fair. After the dance controversy after "Youth", everyone is still waiting to see how she breaks through the tight siege. She is not interested in fighting and enters quickly. marriage.
She said that because of the lack of love in her childhood, whenever she encountered any difficulties in life, she would easily feel unworthy and give up easily.
Facing the so-called "second reincarnation" of marriage, her attitude is still self-defeating.
She chose Zheng Kai because she felt that she couldn't find the right person anyway, so just let it go.
Even though she felt that Zheng Kai was famous and quite unreliable, she still married him irresponsibly.
I didn’t expect it to happen purely by luck.
After marriage, Zheng Kai not only made Miaomiao feel reliable, but also introduced her to many friends, so that she would no longer be lonely.
Something about her that was so lonely to the core was cured by Zheng Kai.
When she mentioned what Zheng Kai said to her, it doesn't matter if the whole world doesn't like you, you still have me, Miaomiao cried very hard.
Because the one who heard this sentence was not only Miaomiao as an adult, but also Miaomiao as a child, who had followed the vines of time and felt lonely and helpless countless times due to lack of love.
But sensitivity cannot disappear all of a sudden. There was a quarrel. When Zheng Kai wanted her to respect facts and learn to practice ignoring subjective feelings, he said "your feelings are not important." Based on the current context, one can generally understand his logic.
But when Miao Miao was stabbed into a painful area that had been ignored, she suddenly lost all sense and began to cry crazily.
But the irony is that the scars of the original family will affect such children throughout their lives.
But after growing up in a difficult situation, once they achieve something, they will immediately "repay" their original family in a cathartic way.
After Miaomiao got married, she also began to take the initiative to "suck blood" for her family.
let the family and sister live in the couple's small home.
In order to make Miao Miao feel at ease, Zheng Kai also gave up a lot of his freedom and rights.
You said he didn't care at all, but he repeatedly mentioned that a large family lived together, always showing a hint of helplessness.
However, Miaomiao didn't think there was a problem. She usually shoots vlogs, records shows, and even introduces partners to artist friends. She also invites her younger sister to join in to give her the maximum exposure as support.
The scars of lack of love cannot be made up by giving back to the family of origin.
This pattern was also copied and pasted on Zhang Ziyi.
In public opinion, Zhang Ziyi is a well-known ambitious and proactive player.
This is actually true, but how did this ambition come about? Is it the anger brought out by being beaten in the womb?
But in fact, Zhang Niangniang once claimed in the early days:
She doesn’t like to be in this circle at all.
She described the process from choosing dancing as a career to becoming famous in one fell swoop as a complete "accident."
Going to dance school was not her intention from the beginning. After
passed the exam, it was her father who happily invited people to drink, but she knew very well that she was born with poor physical condition and was not suitable for dancing at all.
Why do you still practice so hard?
In order to gain the approval of her parents, she felt that as long as her grades were not good and she was sent back, she would be "dead".
So I could only sneak into the dark practice room in the middle of the night, crying silently and pressing my legs.
is an 11-year-old girl. Her peers are still being pampered by her parents at home. She doesn’t know who to cry to, and she has to worry about alerting the patrolling teacher.
Her sense of loneliness and security mismatched with her age was very serious in childhood.
Moreover, when I finally got home, I could only sleep on the sofa in the living room.
: The room belongs to my brother.
She slept on the sofa like this until she became famous.
So much so that her childhood wish was to have a room of her own where she could do something of her own.
This long-term childhood of being ignored made her always want to be seen.
At first, it was parents, and later this desire extended to teachers, directors, and other people in power who represent authority.
When she was a child, in order to get a compliment from her teacher, she would ignore her body's feelings and spin around in circles until she vomited all day long.
Later, she wanted to get the director's approval, and she expressed her thoughts as well:
He chose me, so I won't let him down.
Zhang Ziyi wants to be strong, the kind of person who wants to be strong even if it costs her life.
Just like the story that has been circulating in the world, she still endured the filming of the filming scene after her fingernails were cut off.
Her first reaction is never whether it hurts or not, but that she cannot be looked down upon by others. At worst, one finger is gone, but I still have nine.
It wasn't until the second time she was hit in the same position on her finger: no nail version that the director discovered her injury.
She has always emphasized that she is not afraid of physical pain.
But this quality, which is regarded as hard work by mainstream values, is actually tinged with lack of self-love.
Is she really an Iron Man?
In fact, from her perspective, it was the lack of love that made her desperate.
Because she feels that the only way to get love is to become excellent, and only excellence can be seen.
Later, she didn't even know who to show her excellence to, but she still instinctively wanted to be stronger:
learned English when she entered Hollywood, but couldn't understand it in class during the day, and could only recite the words when she went home at night, crying while reciting them. I don’t know why I have to live here to go overseas even though I already have achievements.
Pressing her legs and memorizing words, these two lonely moments when she is crying and trying to be strong, she always mentions them repeatedly.
And at these moments, she would always feel: What are her cousins of the same age doing at this time?
Why can she be happy at home with her parents, but she can only bear the endless loneliness. Even later, she was already so much superior to her cousin in the eyes of the outside world.
The starting point of Zhang Ziyi’s desire is not for herself, but to satisfy the expectations of her original family.
So after she became famous, she, like Miaomiao, spent her money eagerly, wanting to use the best resources to give back to her family of origin. When
was asked what ability she most desired, she looked confused, hesitated for a long time, and finally said "repay."
After becoming famous, she asked her brother Zhang Zinan to become her agent. When participating in interviews, even my little niece will be brought along.
However, during this period, there were many rumors on the Internet that Zhang Zinan used his sister as a cash cow and various rumors to harm Zhang Ziyi.
For example, at a charity gala held by the Monaco royal family, Zhang Ziyi was invited to be the opening guest, but was troubled because Zhang Zinan asked for additional payment; for media interviews, he also asked to pay the interview fee first...
This kind of interference even extended to his sister's marriage. .
It is reported online that on the day Wang Feng proposed to Zhang Ziyi, Zhang Zinan made a scene at the proposal and even insulted his sister: How could a normal woman in the world marry such a dissolute person...
Like Miao Miao, the lack of love in childhood also affected Zhang Ziyi marriage choices. Miaomiao's marriage was a result of self-destruction and self-destruction, and she happened to hit a safe haven.
Wang Feng and Zhang Ziyi at that time were not only a safe haven, but also a weapon against the original family.
Let’s talk about safe harbor first.
Even though Zhang Ziyi later became successful in her career and saw countless sights, it was still difficult to conceal her hidden inferiority and loneliness, so she was easily confused.
At that time, the reputation of leather pants was not as good as that, because I gave Zhang Ziyi a psychological test during the date, which made her attracted:
How does he know me so well!
Anita Yuen, who was listening to the story, couldn't help complaining that she has a simple brain circuit.
Not being seen by parents is a very hurtful thing. It can make people feel lonely and lacking. And this cannot be filled by material things and fame and fortune.
Zhang Ziyi is not simple, she has been lacking from the root for too long.
What is more advanced than Miaomiao is that Wang Feng is also Zhang's weapon.
She wants to be strong to prove that she is worthy. But in fact, she has accumulated too much helplessness since childhood and has nowhere to vent it. The stronger she tries to be, the more aggrieved she becomes.
Regarding Wang Feng, his family strongly opposed it and could not even mention his name.
Ke Zhang Ziyi defied all opinions and decided to marry him. Not necessarily because of how good he is, but because Zhang Ziyi, who has always been lonely, finally found a comrade and joined her in resisting her family of origin.
What touched Miaomiao the most was what Zheng Kai said, it doesn’t matter if the whole world doesn’t like you, you are still the same as me. Zhang Ziyi cried the most because Wang Feng said something similar to her:
You don’t have to prove to everyone that there is nothing to worry about.
Zhang Ziyi also added, I want to live for myself.
This is a girl begging for love who is changing the blood pack mode of automatic self-sacrifice and learning not to please anymore.
Now, I sincerely hope that Zhang Ziyi has entered a stage where she no longer needs to use marriage as a weapon.
After all, she has gradually become more worthy.
There are many girls who grow up in this kind of family. The most pitiable thing is that no matter whether they work hard to be strong or are sensitive and fragile, they will essentially not love themselves because they are not loved, and then take the initiative to sacrifice themselves.
If the model does not change, they will gradually become the modern version of Gu Manlu in "Half Life".
is regarded as a breadwinner to support a family of seven, but even her second sister Gu Manzhen, who understands her best on the surface, subconsciously looks down on her more than others.
Shen Shijun was quite open-minded. He said bluntly: "That's okay. There are all kinds of dancers. It all depends on you." In this regard, Manzhen was noncommittal. She replied with disdain: "Of course there are also good dancers. Yes, but like this, I can’t support a large family!” - "Half Life"
Sadness is added to the sadness. In the end, the girl who is not seen will still not be seen and will not be loved.
Therefore, to heal yourself from the lack of love in childhood, you must not instinctively become the blood bag of your original family.
Look, we have grown up and we can love ourselves.
You are worthy of being loved.
