asks you a very practical question: If you don't have children, will your marriage still exist?
This question is also difficult for me. Although I am now a mother of two children, if I really can't have children, will my marriage with my husband be good? What exactly do children mean to marriage?
I’m not sure whether my husband and I will divorce because we “can’t have children.” The only thing I can be sure of is:
No matter what, I must love myself well, accept the established results, and will not look down on myself because of certain factors. .
Recently, Michelle Yeoh was interviewed about her first marriage.
She said that she took a break from acting in her early years because she "wanted to have a real married life."
She was 28 years old at the time and wanted to get married, find a good man to settle down with, and be taken good care of. This was also her mother's biggest expectation for her. Many mothers are like this. Their expectation for their daughter is not how successful her career will be, but that she will marry well and have a good family.
This is quite ironic in itself!
Mothers clearly know that marriage is very difficult, and they may not be able to live well after getting married, but they still hope that their daughters will enter the grave like themselves.
If mothers really love their daughters, they should not rush to get married, but should tell their daughters clearly and clearly what will happen to them after they get married? Let your daughter not have any good expectations for marriage, but be cautious and careful.
when the host said: Sounds pretty good.
Michelle Yeoh said: "Don't do it, you will lose your freedom and no longer be independent."
In fact, this is really the case. A woman's initial expectation for marriage is that she will be with the person she loves after she gets married. Very happy, but the naked cruel reality of marriage tells women that marriage is a kind of bondage. Once you get married, you have to be bound by many traditional maternal responsibilities. It is difficult for you to have a completely independent self.
You have lost your freedom and you will never be the same again.
When the host asked Michelle Yeoh if she was sad that she had no children in her first marriage?
She said generously: "We have tried all methods, but I am really not able to do it physically."
She and her ex-husband both want children, and her ex-husband needs a son to pass on his family business, not just a son, but Two sons, or even better three. But Michelle Yeoh was unable to have children due to filming in her early years. They love each other very much, but love will not make the situation better. Being childless is always a gap they cannot overcome.
It’s good to be divorced. At least you can be yourself as you please and fight as hard as you want. Otherwise, Michelle Yeoh would not have achieved today’s success and become the first Asian to win the Academy Award for Best Actress.
Women should keep a clear mind when facing marriage. No matter whether your marriage is happy or not, whether you can have children or not, don't look down on yourself because of other people's opinions. You are always the most important, love well Only by yourself can you truly be the master of your own life.
Having no children may seem like a pity to outsiders, but you have to understand that there are many things in life that you just can’t force. Since everything can’t go as you wish, you might as well accept it calmly.
The reason why I wrote this article today is because I thought about Michelle Yeoh’s story about a reader who confided in me a few years ago. She gave me the feeling that she was bound by "infertility" and was almost depressed. In order to give birth to a child, it can be said that she gave everything she had. It was not that she did not work hard, but unfortunately she got pregnant several times, but everything went against her wishes. Either the fetus stopped or she died after birth.
Her husband and parents-in-law always used very vicious words to accuse her because she was "infertile", which made her very low on self-confidence and felt that her life was a failure.
She asked me what to do? What if you really get divorced?
What I can tell her is: In the worst case, divorce will happen. This is nothing more than the worst outcome, but it is also the best outcome.Because I can finally be freed from my unhappy marriage. After divorce, it is nothing more than living alone, but you can live however you want, and you no longer have to suffer the eyes of others.
Is it her fault that she can't have children?
No, it's just that her physical condition doesn't allow it. She was originally required to bear all the pain of giving birth, but because she couldn't get pregnant, it was all her fault. Isn't this in itself ridiculous? Women themselves must keep a clear mind and not define themselves by having children, so that they can love themselves better.
Of course some people think that not having children means not having a complete life. What I want to say is:
Get married and have children, and then watch the children grow up and fulfill their responsibilities until the children have their own lives. We will find that the child is not our child. Sooner or later, he will leave us. We cannot interfere with him unscrupulously just because we gave him life. Children have their own lives, and you have yours. If you really can't have children because of your health or age, as long as you live a happy life, it doesn't mean it's not perfect.
As long as you live a life that is worthy of yourself, no matter what kind of life it is, I think it is good. As long as you don't regret your choice, your life in this world will not be in vain. Times are changing and we never know what the future will look like. Twenty years ago, holding an umbrella on a sunny day was a redundant joke, but now holding an umbrella on a sunny day is just a daily routine.
Is a marriage without children defective and unhappy? Facts have proved that this is all a personal choice. It does not matter whether it is lacking or complete. It depends on what you want? There is no truly complete life in this world, only relative happiness. We should constantly debug ourselves and live the life we want.
If you who read my article have the same experience as Michelle Yeoh, I hope you can be as clear-headed as her and love yourself more.
Marriage and children are not the most important, living your life well now is the most important.
You are very precious. In this life, you should live well for yourself.
end.
