Huang Yida is back, in "Overcoming the Thorns". In front of the camera, he was a little nervous, and kept rubbing his hands until they turned red, always wondering if and how to talk to other people. Before that, he had disappeared from the public eye for at least eight years.
reminds people of the year he debuted 18 years ago, which is also the year of 's Chinese music scene "fighting with gods". In 2004, Huang Yida released his first solo album "Undefined", the title songs "Blue Sky", "Anonymous Baby", "Love under the microscope of ", and " that girl said to me" released the following year. ", won the top ten golden songs of the year and the most popular song of the year in Hong Kong and Taiwan.
's delicate appearance has become his hallmark and his limitation. When he was a child, he listened to " China Fire ", and listened to the three heroes of Tang Dynasty, Black Panther and Magic Rock, hoping to become such a rough rock singer, but the company said, no, you can't go that route if you look like this. He also followed the company's packaging line and became the idol Huang Yida.
This caused Huang Yida's split: he wanted to write songs quietly, but he had to take the responsibility of being an idol, constantly making announcements on the ground, being watched, and losing privacy. At the worst time, he went to Thailand and practiced for 17 days in the Chiang Mai deep mountain temple. After that, he terminated the contract with Sony , left Taiwan, came to live in Beijing, and became an independent musician a few years later. The narrative trend of
made many fans feel sorry for him, always feeling that he could become a superstar with just a little luck and timing, but when he was closest to the peak, he chose to disappear.
This is the story of a tightly shaped man back to himself. Today, he lives a simple life, but that period of depression as an idol still reverberates in him. During the nearly five-hour interview, he said "happy" 85 times, and kept emphasizing that he was very happy; he checked his watch five times to confirm his heartbeat, and twice demonstrated the degree of strain on his right shoulder. There was a rattling sound - after entering the age of 40, he found that his physical function was seriously declining; he sighed twice, once when he talked about leaving his hometown when he was young, and went to Taipei to develop alone, and had to work with him. His rock band was separated; the other time, in 2005, when he was the hottest year, tried to negotiate with his agent to terminate the contract, and the agent smiled and refused.
midway through the interview, he looked at my notes and said, "I will be a little stressed. I talk a lot, but you write a little." Because before his debut, the agency held a training class and told him to pay attention to the interview. A reporter's pen, if you don't move the pen, you're done. He does not understand the online language of young people, nor does he understand the ecology of today's circle. Sometimes, you will feel that Huang Yida is still stuck in that era. On the
social platform, what people miss is also the era and the love of that era represented by Huang Yida. In the comment area of "That Girl Said to Me", a netizen said, "I really want to go back to the one who listened to this song. The era, the peak of the Chinese music scene, the carefree summer vacation, the era when you don't have to rush for life..."
For Huang Yida, depression, practice, and the disappearance of idols are half-life understatements. Huang Yida feels that his life is as simple as his Chinese expression ability, "Actually, it's not mysterious at all." Below
, is Huang Yida's story.
Article | Lai Youxuan
Editor | Huai Yang
6zThis time, I don't know where the courage came from. To be honest, as soon as the contract was signed, I regretted it a bit.
is very nervous, I haven't lived with so many people in a long time. On the first day, the four brothers slept together, everyone slept, you had to sleep, if you didn't sleep, it would affect others. A lot of times when I lie in bed, I close my eyes and pretend to sleep. You say, if I open my eyes and meet the eyes of other brothers, noMaybe not chatting, it's impossible to say, I'm sleeping, "pa" just turn around.
I'm not usually a nervous person. It's just that everyone has a degree, and I don't know where his boundaries are. For example, I'm 40 years old. I don't like what people say, but I don't express my emotions. You and your brothers have only known each other for a few weeks. If you think you know each other well and joke about it, you may not know it.
is in a panic every day. I keep thinking, have I offended anyone? Have I been joking? If it has been opened, will I tell people tomorrow that I am sorry for yesterday or something? I will be afraid of many things, this thing is difficult to handle.
too nervous. I woke up at 6:00 in the morning and woke up nervous. The
camera is recording 24 hours a day, it's not fake, I have one next to my bed, as soon as I come back it turns around and stares. Later, I found that there was a camera at the door that was old and motionless. After observing it for many days, it did not move when everyone came in and out. I was so happy that I found a hidden corner. One morning, I sneaked over there to stretch, exercise, and drink coffee, and within 5 seconds, it moved, the camera rolled down, and I was caught again. It was terrible, so I had to smile awkwardly.
and nervousness about the stage. Music producer Welchung said that he thought I was nervous and wished I could let go. I was more stressed after listening to it. I haven't come out for eight years, and it's been quiet for more than eight years. When I came out suddenly, I saw a lot of professional people. On the opposite side of the stage were directors, producers, and lighting teachers who were expecting you to sing well. I gave it to you, I wish you the best today.” During the performance, another 1,000 spectators surrounded you. I haven't seen so many people in a long time.
on stage, my legs are shaking, really shaking. The stage has been sprayed with dry ice and , so I can't see the wires clearly. I usually wear a watch to check my heartbeat. If it exceeds 100, I have to take a deep breath. I won't wear it on the day I take the stage. When
watched the show back, it felt strange that I hadn't seen myself on TV for a long time, and I wanted to escape. It's like someone who has never heard their own voice suddenly hears their own voice. As a result, I read a little today, a little more tomorrow, and now I can read it slowly.
I've never been on a show over the years and always felt safer behind the scenes. Before in the circle, I used to work hard to make friends, I really tried hard to make friends, maybe my personality was not suitable, I felt very tired, and the more I made friends, the more tired I became.
So this time, I was hesitant at first. I told the company that I didn't want to go. The company said that you don't have many friends in Beijing. The director team also said, don't be nervous, just have fun. I think so too, I'm 43 years old, let's go out and make some friends. I don't know who recommended me to be on the show, but I am very grateful to him for pulling me here and allowing me to face a new life.
Huang Yida Photo source "Overcoming Toughness" official Weibo
6z
Now, looking back on my life before the age of 30, I feel like a dream.
When I was 15 years old, I heard Beyond's song on the radio and thought it was cool. I started to learn guitar. Sign up, go to the composition class.
There, I formed a band called "Dark World", it's very rock. I grew up listening to Chinese rock . At that time, there was a huge record store in Singapore, and there were records from all over the world. I bought one, which belonged to the Tang Dynasty band. Wow, it's incredible, "Dream of the Tang Dynasty" is different from rock and roll in other countries. Next, justIt's listening to Black Panther, Zhang Chu , He Yong , faces, Zheng Jun ... It's so cool, I want to make that kind of music too.
One day, a record company in Taipei came to the music school, and the school asked me to go too. At that time, when he turned 18, he had to do military service and work as a clerk in the police station. I wore police camouflage pants and a super-ordinary T-shirt, grabbed a guitar, pushed the door and went in. There were 8 students from the singing class, all dressed beautifully, all with makeup and hair, but I was the only one who was sloppy. As a result, 9 people only chose me. The
record company said that they chose you not because you sang well, nor because you wrote good music, but just because you like the way you play the guitar. I'm not yet 20 years old, so I signed up.
Before going to Taiwan, I was very sad and didn't want to sign because they only took me, not my band. A musician said, "You're stupid, you should go first, and come back with us when it's popular." I heard it made sense, so I went on my own. After I went, I understood that he was much older than me, he already understood that it was impossible, he just didn’t want to stop your future and let you go better.
In 2001, not long after I was discharged from the army, I went to live in Taipei alone. I just got discharged from the army and have no money to buy winter clothes, so I borrow money from the company first. Winter is too cold, Singapore doesn't have winter, and I'm not used to eating. So what can be done? At that time, I just thought that I had found a job and came here to write songs.
has been trained in Taipei for three years, and I take various classes every day, including a lot of spiritual counseling classes. I have been telling you that the film may be released tomorrow, or in a few years. You have to be calm and send it. Film does not mean you will be red. So, I never told my parents that I signed a record contract. I only said that I went to Taiwan to write songs, because they would be very concerned about whether you were popular or not. Later, they saw me on TV and realized that I was an artist. Will
become popular? I do not know either. Before the film was released in 2004, the publicity asked me if I heard any strange sounds in the studio? The so-called strange sound is whether you have heard others sing, or whether you will speak to people inexplicably, I heard that this will make you popular. I said, I didn't hear the 10 songs I recorded, they finished talking, it doesn't matter, there is still a chance, if you see red on the day of the release, it is bleeding, then you are red. On the first day of
's release, I went to the stage to sing, I sang and sang, I felt that there was some liquid flowing down from my eyelids, I rubbed it, a pool of blood, scared to death, and quickly called someone to save me, when I turned around, I saw the propaganda They all waved their arms in the audience with excited expressions, "It's red, it's red!"
The result was really red.
In 2004, many radio stations ranked my songs airborne, for several weeks in a row, without voting at all, I won many, many awards. Go back to the company to sign posters and albums. Once signed, you will sign hundreds of copies and a thousand copies. Radio stations, magazines, variety shows, autographs, overseas performances... Announcements are always full. As soon as they run, they run into the evening. After the run, they are caught and recorded. After the recording, they do the modeling, and they start running the announcement after the modeling. It keeps looping. Sitting in the car every day, not interviewing on the radio or reading the outline, there is no gap, and the only time to sleep is to fly. My mother called and asked, what did you eat today? I can't remember, I can forget what I just ate.
In 2004, Huang Yida released his first album "Undefined". The source network
became popular, and found that everything has changed, not as you imagined. Before
debuted, I used to go to a street to buy food. I knew many stores, like friends. After you become popular, go to these stores again, and someone will know you and call your name. A lot of freedom is gone, privacy is gone, and when you are eating, someone will come and say, can you take a photo? I think eating is a very private and enjoyable thing, and sometimes I will refuse, and others will say that I am playing a big name, and I am self-righteous.
People often follow you on the street, but they will say, I am not following you. Some so-called fans took the DV to follow along and filmed for several months. Sometimes when I go home, I go downstairs and find a car with two people staring at you, and you don't even know who it is. The paparazzi are divided into AB groups and follow you 24 hours a day. You can't turn on the lights when you go home, you have to pull the curtains during the day, and you have to check if anyone is downstairs. The most uncomfortable thing is that no matter where you go, people know you, this is Huang Yida, this is Huang Yida.
suddenly felt that my world is getting smaller and smaller, there are fewer and fewer places to go, and there is no space for myself. It's hard, I'm just a person who likes to make music, why should I bear this pressure?
's second album became even more popular, "That Girl Said to Me" almost occupied the major charts that year, but at that time I already understood that this is not the life I want. Maybe some people are born to be entertainers, they like to sing, they like to be recognized wherever they go, but I don't like it, all I like is writing songs. If you like to hide behind the scenes and make music and get pushed to the front, you will be tired.
One day, my manager and I were sitting in the car, and he said to me, "What, do you enjoy being red?" I said in a serious tone, "If you are willing to take out the contract and cancel it now, you will Will be the benefactor of my life", really, I said it directly.
"Hahahahaha, impossible." The
agent laughed. I sighed, "It's over".
In 2006, Huang Yida was at the Biaoxinliyi Superstar concert. Many people discussed my appearance. Some people say I'm an idol, I'm beautiful, and there are negative things about me. At that time, every artist had an online message board, and some people often came to scold them, saying how to create an artist who was neither male nor female, and sometimes even attacked your family. The fact that
looks like an idol has also become one of the factors for the company to judge my music route.
You know, I was a person who listened to Beijing rock since I was a child. I wanted to sing rock and do rock, like the Tang Dynasty. I threw the "Song written for myself" before I met the people in the company. When they heard this song, they said it was too "Northern". Because of this song, they thought I should be rough and scruffy. As soon as I showed up, they immediately said, "No, no, you can't take this route, you have the face of an idol."
was the world of pop music at that time, many rock music were underground, and the public was not so accepting. The company felt that it was a pity that I did not follow the path of an idol singer. The company arranged for me to post a lot of announcements, and everyone's focus was initially on appearance, and they all asked, would such a delicate person be recognized as a girl? If you look like this, why don't you go to an idol drama? Why not be a model? They are also curious about many details, will they grow beards, or will they deliberately dress themselves more manly?
Hearing these questions, my heart is not too flustered. Anyone who has come into contact with me knows that my personality and appearance are completely different. At that time, I was a very stubborn, fierce-tempered, direct and competitive person. I usually dress casually, wearing the most common tank tops and shorts every day. Every time I pass the boss, I have to walk for about five seconds before the boss realizes that it is me. He asked the propaganda, is that Huang Yida? People said yes, the boss said, I thought it was a courier. He scolded the propaganda, "You tell him to dress me like a star."
But I don't care what I wear. During that time, all kinds of things were fighting in my mind every day, and I was struggling. On the one hand, I can't make the music I want to do, and on the other hand, I have to go in and out of various announcements every day.
When I write songs, the preludes are very long, more than 40 or 50 seconds, but the company limits me to 19 seconds, because the radio station can't play that long. On a variety show, a senior persuaded me to laugh more and talk more, or this announcement is in vain, there is not a single shot. The notification company was also not satisfied, saying that I was a dull and boring person.
I always feel that I make music. On the show, my mind is not here, I just want to go home and write songs. I often go home with an announcement, and write it until the next morning. Once I wrote it at 9:00 in the morning, I slept for a while, and then rushed to the announcement. My thoughts are not that complicated. Every day I just think, I want to go home, I want to go home.
Back then, making friends was a pain, and I didn't know how to socialize with people. Every time I meet a lot of artists backstage at the awards ceremony, the company says, in fact, many people want to be friends with you, but they find it difficult to get close to you. Maybe I looked very cold, expressionless, and I didn't take the initiative to chat with others, I just sat alone in the lounge. At that time, I also felt that I was different from them. I was not an artist, but a composer.
Once, there was a friend's birthday party, I went there, drank some wine, had a headache, and wanted to find a friend to take me home. A senior's wife saw it and came over and said, Yida, let me talk to you. I said, sister-in-law, what's the matter? She took me to the elevator and said, "Yida, don't force yourself if you don't like it, just go home." At that moment, I understood, and immediately my head didn't hurt. I gave her a very happy smile. , the elevator door closed and opened, and I flew home.
From that day on, I never went out again, stopped trying to make friends, stopped forcing myself to socialize, and wrote songs at home every day. That day was also the last time I saw my sister-in-law. I thank her for saving me. Screenshot of
MV "That Girl Said to Me"
no need to socialize, the record still has to be released. I signed a record contract with the company, and I have to release several albums in a few years. That number is too much for me. I write songs very slowly, sometimes only one song a year. There is an artist in Taiwan called Milk, who once asked me when I have time to eat out? I did the math and told him that in about nine months, I was writing a song.
's family will also be worried. It's been a long time since I posted a video. Is it not popular anymore? Is it out of work? To them, I am an artist, why can't I see it on TV or on the news?
Once, my father saw my news and called me in a hurry. He started to read, "Huang Yida...", suddenly paused for two or three seconds, and said, "Wait, I'll ask my mother to read it to you." He was very happy, his son finally did not release songs or news, and his son still had a job. But my father's Chinese is not good, and he doesn't know many words, so he can't read it. The few seconds he paused, I was in tears on the other end of the phone.
At that time, the company thought that you had nothing to do, not even a scandal, and no news at all. When the fourth album was about to be released, the company issued a manuscript to talk about my family affairs. After the news came out, my family was a little unhappy. My mother said, and my brother and sister also said, why do you want to do this in order to release the film.
I have been sad for a long time. I knew it before the press release. I know that this thing is definitely not good and will hurt a lot of people, but I have no ability to object. You know that your situation is very bad. At that time, Huang Yida was someone who didn't have a breakthrough point. The company has already said that if you don't have a press release, this record will not be released at all, and there will never be any sound.
I understand that the company has invested a lot of money, your clothing, your filming, your MV, and your records are all paid by the company, not yourself. It seems that you have to be considerate of the company. . At that time, it was difficult and painful for everyone. Everyone came to do ideological work for me, brokers and propaganda persuaded me, as long as I work harder, I will definitely go up. It's me who can't, I'm too uncomfortable, I cried and told the company, I don't like it, let me go.
That unhappiness is at its peak. People are getting worse, My home is dark during the day, I don't go out, I can squat in the living room for 4 hours and still cry for no reason.
My third album "Complete Performance" was only released in 2007, which is equivalent to when it was the most popular, this person stagnated for two years, and the rhythm of the film was very wrong, indicating that there was something wrong with this artist. By the fourth album, I finally put the song "Song to Myself" I wrote when I was 19 years old, and it was kind of like the last album. Unhappy, especially unhappy.
It was the end of 2009, when I was most depressed and unhappy, a friend came to me and said he was going to become a monk. I immediately said, take me, he thought I was joking, I said seriously, I am very unhappy, you take me.
I really flew to Chiang Mai and practiced in a small temple deep in the mountains. I had to shave my head. When the knife slid past my head, 30 years of past, like a flashback in a movie, appeared scene by scene, you How self-willed, how insistent, and even the scenes of being rude to my parents when I was a child came out, tears spewed out, and I couldn't cry.
meditate in a small room every day, alone, with no one to talk to you. We also took a class, one step at a time, and it took about 45 minutes to walk to the end of a small candle. The first time we walked, everyone would be impatient. Someone was so anxious that he wanted to scold someone and wanted to scold that monk. Come here and let me take this boring road. After that, I walked every day, for almost 5 days, and you didn't even care about the mosquitoes. You will find that the human heart can be very quiet, very quiet.
I was there for 17 days, not too long because I had to go back to work. When I went back to the company, I was shocked, my hair was gone, and even my eyebrows were shaved. At that time, it happened to be New Year's tail teeth , and many places invited me to go, but I couldn't go, and my brows were gone, so I could only refuse. I changed my phone number, no one contacted anyone, and wanted to reorganize my life. Everyone said that I have changed, that I am refreshed, not gray, and people are very happy.
Until the end, I didn't complete the record contract with the company. The "Song I wrote to myself" was released because they could no longer control me. The company felt that you were not saved. Huang Yida just wanted to make music, so I won't give it to him. Making music makes him even sadder. So, the company is still very lenient, even if I didn't complete the record contract, they let me go.
I haven't been unhappy since I was 30 years old. No unhappiness at all. Because I already know how to be happy. Now even if you are unhappy, go out for a walk, run and run. I am a person who writes songs in front of four walls every day. I don’t offend others, I don’t show my face, and no one attacks you or scolds you on the Internet. What’s so unhappy about me?
Later, I went to Chiang Mai. I still passed by that temple, but I didn't go in. I was afraid that I would meet acquaintances there. Forget it, don't go in, it's not easy to keep your hair so long.
In 2014, Huang Yida's ten-year debut concert Photo Source Huang Yida Studio
6z
A while ago, I saw a statistic saying that in 2021, there will be a new song every 27 seconds, which is incredible.
It was the first time I came into contact with music production, and I thought it was amazing. As soon as I entered the studio, there were four or five microphones, and different microphones sang different voices. The same goes for headphones, and different headphones have different sounds. Turn a key, the sound will become very bright, very nice. I started to participate in the production of the second album. At that time, I met a very good mixing teacher and learned a lot from him. One day I asked him, you taught me, are you not afraid that one day I will learn to walk? He said it couldn't be because I gave you black and white, but the grey we painted was definitely different, nothing to be afraid of.
At that time, artists could only release films every few months. If I was as slow as me, it might take a year, or two years. A lot of things don't look good any time soon. Go to the recording studio to record, sound engineerWe have to arrive an hour early, and the machine has to be warmed up for an hour. If we arrive early, we have to wait. Many machines require good current, stable voltage, and well-adjusted wiring. Maybe rent a five-hour recording studio today to record guitars and pick out the details of the guitars; record the piano tomorrow and pick up the details of the pianos. Record companies, production directors, recording teachers, everyone sat together to discuss how to make a song sound. The sound of the record is less digital, less spiky, and less streamlined.
We will also discuss that in the future, music may be like paying utility bills. As long as you pay, you can listen to it as you like. I didn't expect that one day it would actually become like this.
Now, everyone is their own producer, and the music is mass-produced. I can't tell what the future will hold. Maybe one day, AI will write songs, AI producers, and bands will all be robot bands. You have to follow the technology again, because no one can go back to that era. You ask me if I miss it. To be honest, there is nothing to miss. You can only accept the change of the times.
Over the years, I have only attended music festivals, and I have found that I am a musician only when I stand on the stage of music festivals. I really like myself like that, playing music on stage instead of making announcements, thinking about becoming famous in the future. I am the musician Huang Yida, I am myself, not the Huang Yida who was packaged in the record company.
There are no festivals, I just write songs at home. Every month, the copyright company will send a song list, saying that whoever wants a song, I will pick it up when I feel it, and I won’t write it if I don’t feel it. I saw that the playlist had the name of brother Qiqin , and suddenly I wanted to create it. I quickly sat down and wrote it. I asked the copyright company to show it to my brother. I was selected, and it was the song "Yanagawa" that he released in November last year. The Boys of West Street". I want to write some songs about specific troubles in people's life, work pressure, etc., love and love, every time I feel too much, enough.
In 2013, Huang Yida participated in Xi'an Strawberry Music Festival Tuyuan Vision China
In the past eight years, many fans thought that I did not appear. I also wanted to tell the fans that I am fine with "Overcoming Toughness", so don't worry. I play at home every day, playing music, playing with wires, playing all kinds of things I like. Actually, I'm not mysterious at all, I'm very simple and have nothing to show off.
I'm not short of money either, because it doesn't cost much. Get up in the morning, drink tea, take a walk, relax, then sit down and write a song, look up, it's night. Eating is also very simple, buy a lettuce salad and mix it, and dip the toast with a little vinegar. I also go to the market to buy vegetables, and I don’t have to bargain. Now the competition is fierce, I often buy three get one free, which is very cost-effective. If the clothes are not badly torn, I will still wear them, and they will be new clothes after sewing and mending. Look at these shoes on my feet, I only wear these. The last pair has been worn for ten years, from white to earthy, dark yellow, yellow to ugly. My backpack was ten years old and it finally broke the other day. I don't understand the famous brand, but the hoodie I'm wearing is going to be on the show.
With music, do I need anything else?
When I was a child, I always felt that no one knew you. In fact, many people want to help you and push you. I closed the door myself. In "The Girl Said to Me", if I opened the door and asked them to push harder, wouldn't I go up even more? However, if you push me up, I may not be as happy as I am today.
I'm not very concerned about being popular or not. If I really wanted to be popular, I would have tried my best to be popular at that time, just like Sun Wukong was trapped for five hundred years, jumped out from the foot of Wuxing Mountain, and flew directly to Tiangong. But I can't do it. If I make a somersault and , and jump to the Tiangong to be an idol king, I will collapse.
Wherever I go now, no one knows me, how happy and free. I don’t ask for announcements, I come and go when I have a job, and I don’t need to read the outline for interviews. People are very direct, and the two people have feelings after chatting, so I don’t have to worry about how to answer. Happy to come, happy to finish work, tomorrow is another happy day.
The only thing to worry about is the body. After the age of 40, your body has really changed a lot, you will feel that everything starts to go down, you can't stay up late at night, and you will be sleepy at 12 o'clock. The heartbeat should also be monitored at any time. It cannot exceed 177, which is my limit. If it exceeds 120, I have to take a deep breath.
My eyes are old, and the screen has to be placed far away to see clearly. Every day on my mobile phone, I only read news headlines. I probably know what's going on in the world, so I don't swipe down. The shoulders are also not good, sometimes the pain will affect the chest, the chest will be tight, and the breathing is not comfortable. Acupuncture, plasters, painkillers didn't help. After holding the guitar for too long every day for so many years, and having to look sideways at the computer screen, the muscles in my right shoulder have been seriously afflicted. I went to the doctor, the doctor said that this is a disease that has accumulated over more than ten years, young man, you will not get better in this life. Hahaha, also call me young.
is in poor health, which mainly delays the speed of my songwriting. I am writing songs more slowly now. You ask me if I still want to release an album. The real problem is that I don't have the energy to make another 10 songs.
Oh, but also be optimistic, I will take my time, write slowly, don't shorten my life for 10 songs, maybe I can live for 40 years. I am now very resigned to my fate, as long as this arm is not abolished, I can write if it can move, and I can continue to do what I like and be a little composer. If one day I really can't move, I can still play Yang Guo (laughs).
Picture source Huang Yida studio
