Hello, everyone, today is a slender mother who is talking about feelings.
"The unavailable will always be in commotion, and the favored will have no fear."
This is a lyric in "Red Rose", which is full of hearts and emotions.
Behind every person who "knows how to cherish after losing", there is a person who "protects well but is not cherished".
3 months after the divorce, Chen Sicheng sent blessings on Tong Liya 's birthday card, "Duo Duo, happy birthday, youth forever".
is different from the past. Now, Tong Liya only faintly replied "thank you".
is polite, polite, and has no feelings anymore. In the words of netizens,
: Being late and affectionate is cheaper than grass.
Once, Tong Liya looked up to him, but he didn't cherish it; after the divorce, he started to have an epiphany, but it was too late.
Leaving the man who scarred her, Tong Liya really changed. She was serious about her career and finally became her "big heroine".
01
She has paid for 9 years. He is waiting for her to break up
Tong Liya reminds me of the "Huo Zun incident" with some similarities. You can love deeply, but you can never leave. Who is
Huo Zun?
was born in 2014 with " rolling bead curtain ".
pierced the head of the ball, sang ancient songs, and dressed in plain clothes. People described him as "the fairy spirit, as if not in the red dust".
Unfortunately, the person who came to the show couldn't stand it.
A girl named Chen Lu unilaterally discloses his love affair with Huo Zun. Huo Zun didn't respond, and she was scolded by fans for "scratching heat". After
, she posted "Nine Years of an Ordinary Girl".
Her statement is different from Huo Zun. When I first met, he was unknown and had nothing.
She gave up her passion for dancing and opened a studio to make money, just to relieve his financial pressure.
After many years, he finally became famous. She dreamed of entering the marriage hall. This expectation shattered after seeing the chat records.
He shared his experience of hunting in the group, and made an appointment to go abroad for "long-term knowledge", and his words were dirty.
He said:
is still with her in my social status, and it is a gift to her"
A woman should look like a woman, otherwise I will not allow her to be killed.I took the initiative to break up.
...
Originally, he had been thinking about how to let her take the initiative to leave.
She reveals the behavior of the scumbag and is merciless.
Huo Zun was forced out of the circle under the pressure of huge public opinion, and at the same time, he did not forget to pour dirty water on the woman and lost his last decentness.
I admire that Chen Lu can still be sober and brave in the emotional quagmire. It is not easy.
have to admit that when marriage and emotions are in crisis, most of us will be at a loss, find it difficult to get out of negative emotions, and eventually fall into internal friction.
There was a gap in the marriage of a reader, and she asked me what to do.
I want to tell her in detail what to do, but marriage is complicated. I hope to give her strength more than specific suggestions and let her find the path that suits her best.
Some women encounter emotional difficulties and can still live out of themselves. I want to tell you their stories, hoping to give you some thinking and confidence.
02
Do not pay for his mistakes
you only need to be responsible for their
@ Xiaoxia, 27 years old, he married three years
-- former
me back my marriage had a very bad trough.
At that time, I was uncomfortable in the workplace. I couldn't get up and down at work, and I had to be busy with chores when I got home from get off work. He never undertakes housework, quarrels and cold wars are inevitable, and he lives in the same place.
Maybe this is the pain of marriage, I think it will get better and better.
Until he started to go to the bathroom to answer the phone, chatting with a lot of cute emoji...
Yes, he cheated.
He would send her good night before going to bed, buy her sexy lingerie, take her to eat western food, he never gave me all kinds of romance.
sad, sad, and then self-blame-I blame myself for my bad temper; I blame myself for not being gentle enough; I don't understand him enough.
I fell into a huge guilt and couldn't help myself, I naively thought that all of this was caused by me. I began to temper my temper and give him understanding and tolerance, but he became more aggressive and bolder.
punish himself for his mistakes, why bother? He doesn't deserve to make me so humble.
divorce! I didn't indulge in the past, I live seriously, work hard, and have new feelings.
There is a way under the feet, and there is light in the eyes. My friend said, the one I used to be is back again.
zhihu @ Anonymous user
-I don't have to punish myself with others' mistakes
z1. He was tired of playing and wanted to break up with that girl, but the girl was so angry that she took the initiative to call me to confess.
I don't want to tell my mother, I don't want to make my parents sad.
I will get divorced before encountering this kind of thing, but now I have children, and I can’t bear the children watching the family break up, and at the same time I am nostalgic for my current life.
He cried and begged me not to divorce, and I agreed. I think more openly, having a father is better than not having a father, and a pro father is better than a step father.
Before he derailed, I took care of everything at home; now he feels guilty and takes the initiative to do housework with his children, so I can take a break instead.
I have been asking myself, how can I forgive me so quickly? But are these important?
I am right, I choose to let myself go.
At least I used to watch the children, but now someone shares the burden with me, and I can do what I like.
It’s good to be happy, and you don’t have to punish yourself for other people’s mistakes.
03
marriage even worse
have to live from my life @
know almost white
-- no longer have to pretend I'm just happy
ordinary person, I am a person with a baby Kandian to take care of his parents.
and he has no financial pressure. He works for three days and fishes for two days, and he wakes up naturally every day.
I am pleased and meet the requirements of every family member, and I follow my mother's way to contribute to the family, bear hardships and stand hard work. I was exhausted, and in the end only moved myself.
When you meet people who don't cherish, overpaying is to acquiesce in others' harm to yourself.
A year after he cheated, we divorced. I left soberly and thanked the end of this relationship.
A marriage that consumes too much energy and does not nourish the spirit, the sooner it ends, the better.
I used to take care of his family, but now I only need to look at the store and take good care of the children. I relax my whole person, and finally I don’t need to use "family integrity" to pretend to be happy.
I am very fortunate to leave with the child. Now my life is getting better and better, and my smile is getting more and more. It's great that
broke free from the quagmire.
@ 萧萧 32 years old baby mother
-I am not reconciled to this for a lifetime
After five years of marriage, I have become more and more lonely. I am exhausted physically and mentally looking after children, cleaning up the housework, and taking care of his parents.
In his eyes, I am just an idler who doesn't need to work and play at home every day.
He didn't understand why I would suddenly collapse when I said something. In his opinion, my emotions are deliberately finding fault.
Every time I want to hold hands or hug, he pushes me away impatiently. At night, when I finish my work, he has already gone to bed in bed. Obviously under one roof, but like a stranger.
The depressive life makes me breathless, and I see no hope. No one knows how many nights of suffering and how many tears of grievance I shed alone.
Is this going to happen in a lifetime? The road ahead is still long, and I am not reconciled.
After the child enrolled in school, I picked up books that I had not picked up for a few years, and tested some certificates to improve my skills. I often make appointments with my girlfriends to chat and relax and find a good job again.
I made a notebook to record things to do every day. After arranging the time reasonably, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I still had time to exercise.
became open, and he was no longer all in his mind. Surprisingly, his attitude towards me also changed. He began to actively communicate with me and assume responsibility, which I did not expect.
04
all the bottomless forbearance
are all self-inflicted
z5 a story from my side
z5
Xiaoyun is a child from a single-parent family. She has met her husband through work, and the special family environment has cultivated her into a pleasing personality.
Not long after marriage, the nature of a man is exposed. He is arrogant, controlled, and arbitrary.
The incompleteness of the family makes Xiaoyun yearn for a marriage from one end to the other. Her husband asked her to be as accommodating as possible. In her words, "marriage must be patient, and it will be fine after the running-in period."
He likes to be light, and Xiaoyun takes the initiative to change Taste;
He checks his mobile phone every day, because he is afraid that she will be deceived;
does not allow her to buy more than one hundred yuan in cosmetics;
even takes away the salary card 5zz
zz
zz0 , He intensified, and even asked Xiaoyun to resign and take care of his baby, so that he could work hard on his own.
woke up, she finally understood that she could only be bullied without a bottom line.
She wanted to get her salary card back, bought the cosmetics she wanted for a long time, and refused to sacrifice her career for the family... She started to be financially independent, and she was able to carry it well. The bottom line is the same.
There are very few husbands who recognize the situationAggressive, began to discuss with her.
She joked, "When you have a bottom line, many problems will be solved."
These stories remind me of a sentence: Many people, in their entire lives, would rather be disappointed than others. This is especially true for women
, so most women will demand high standards after entering marriage, and they are more likely to feel guilt. Such a woman is respectable and makes me feel bad.
You are not good to yourself, and others will not pity you.
Compared to being a perfect wife and mother, I hope you love yourself, even if you are selfish?
also said: self-love, calm, and then love.
Don't wait to be someone else's princess, because-
you are your own queen first, and then you will be someone else's princess.
Emotions are not always smooth, marriage is not always good, I hope today’s story can give you a little confidence.
also hope that you "repost and watch" and pass this power to more women.
