wen|Le Bao mom parenting
Are you a boy? Or a girl?
Male education, female education, asexual education or intersex education?
Same-sex love
Today, Children’s Day, for some people, will be the most unforgettable and the most special holiday for some people. Yang Liping’s apprentice Shuiyue got married at . Today will be their happiest day. 99% of left messages in the comment area, because everyone saw the appearance of love .
z26 The love of two people is as borderless as today, and there is no love for both sexes. They are only as happy as today.
There is another person who can't understand this kind of love, feels that it is against ethics and morality, and cannot bloom in the sun. In fact, homosexuality is also true love. There is no difference between the love between the same sex and the love between the opposite sex. It is true love. It is the direction of the heart, regardless of gender .
In the 1970s and 1980s, the word "homosexuality" was talked about in a taboo. No matter who spoke it, it felt dirty. In the 00s, due to the higher and higher level of education, most people have their own ideas. After the change, no longer being criticized, everyone naturally talks about this topic, and they all accept this same-sex relationship.
In fact, we cannot judge the love between people of the same sex. Their love is normal. They are not wrong. What is wrong is the wrong guidance during the early stage of gender establishment and the children's abnormality in gender matching behaviors. Correct guidance, leading to problems with his gender role.
Farewell My Concubine Zhong Cheng Dieyi's gender identity change
"Farewell My Concubine" is a movie rich in historical changes, artistic and cultural atmosphere and homosexuality-related affection, although this film is a homosexual relationship. But no one would criticize this movie, and they all shed tears at the poignant love of "The Overlord and Farewell" in the movie.
Li Yan, a 98-level graduate student of Nanjing University, once pointed out that “Farewell My Concubine” describes the misidentification of a homosexual under the influence of the environment and life experience from the perspective of history and culture.
film critic Huang Li pointed out: “(“The Overlord "Farewell") embezzled grand narrative, stage narrative, off-stage narrative, and the combination of film and drama, thus forming a complex narrative structure with drama in the film and audience in the drama, showing its unique artistic charm. "
- 1) Cheng Dieyi has been "castrated" three times and became a female
Cheng Dieyi was a male man from inside to outside before entering the Peking Opera troupe to learn to sing in Tsing Yi. At that time, he had no problems with his gender role, and he normally developed into a boy role. But why did it turn from a male boy to a female Jiao'e? Where does this reversal of gender identity appear?
- was "castrated" for the first time by his mother cutting off his sixth finger in order to let him enter the opera troupe. This was a physical castration. His mother was forced to make a living and pushed him into the Peking opera troupe and opened up others. Life without distinction.
- The second time he was "castrated" was "pipe tricks", because the young beanie is more feminine, and the class owner asked him to play the role of a man and a girl. It was said that "I am a male son, not a female Jiao'e." In order to help him, the senior brother used a pipe to thin his throat. At , he finally bleeds and said, "I am a female Jiao'e, no Male son "", this time his gender identity is reversed again, laying the psychological foundation for becoming a female character.
- was bullied by father-in-law Zhang for the third time. This time directly caused him to be confused about the gender role, and also affirmed his own gender role.
Xiaodouzi was originally a boy man, not a female Jiao'e , he is not gay, but a gender disorder. He was misled again and again, so he couldn't help himself out in the drama. In the end, he suddenly realized that "I am a man, not a female Jiao'e", which left us deep regrets. He has no way to go. Even if he walks out of the play, he will only die.
- 2) Is Cheng Dieyi born with a wrong gender role or acquired?
First of all, the development of gender roles:
Yangyang grew up like a doll with delicate features and fair skin. Many people who saw him mistakenly thought that he was a mixed-race girl, but Yangyang was actually a boy. Every time his mother took him out to play, many people would call him a little beauty and touch his face. His mother was very proud of this and felt that his child was like a star. However, after Yang Yang went to school, he became more and more introverted. One day, Yang Yang couldn't say go to school and broke all the dolls at home. Mom was taken aback and asked him what was going on. She cried and said, "Mom, am I a boy or a girl? I go to play with girls, but girls don’t play with me. They say I’m a boy, I’m looking for a boy. Play, they said I was a sissy, a girl. "I don't want to be a girl, I don't want to wear skirts, I don't want a doll, I want to be a boy, crying heartbreakingly. Her mother realized that things she thought indifferent would cause so much harm to the child. From then on, she stopped dressing Yangyang as a girl, let him restore his boyhood, and took him to play some boy games. .
Fortunately, Yangyang's mother wakes up in time, otherwise Yangyang will establish the wrong gender role.
Children’s gender role development is divided into four parts:
a, gender identity: children’s correct understanding of their own gender, that is, master their own sexual attributes or corresponding roles. Children begin to have sex when they are more than two or three years olddistinguish. Mother is female, and father is male. Men and women are physically different. Children observe these differences during this period. The difference in genitalia, the difference in secondary sexual characteristics.
b. The acquisition of gender roles: The acquisition of gender roles in childhood is mainly through imitating the same-sex father or mother, plus the behaviors learned by the opposite-sex parents,
c, gender stereotypes: gender stereotypes ( gender stereotypes) are people's beliefs about the hypothetical characteristics of men and women. This stereotype exists in both genders, and both have positive and negative characteristics.
generally comes from two aspects: one is the guidance of adults, and the continuous strengthening of training; the other is the publicity and education of the media to strengthen the awareness of sexual roles.
d, children’s gender-cooperative behavior: refers to children’s gradual acquisition of behaviors that are compatible with their own gender roles, and they agree with the behavior.
is generally divided into these stages:
- 0 to 30 months: starts to operate toys or activities that match gender roles, and begins to like same-sex playmates.
- 3 to 7 years old: strongly produces and forms gender-cooperative behaviors, and automatically finds children of the same sex to play more often than children of the opposite sex.
- 8 to 12 years old: gender coordination behavior continues to strengthen, paying attention to the difference between women and boys; girls begin to develop masculine activities, trying to understand the process of masculine activities. z227384z Adolescents from 2 to 20 years old: The so-called gender role of is in the white-hot stage, with significant gender coordination behaviors, dislikes being regarded as having the opposite sex, and seeking to establish their own gender characteristics.
The reason why Cheng Dieyi had a gender identity barrier to him was entirely acquired. In the end, his gender identity reversed again and he realized that he was a "male man."
z026z
z0
First, guide young children to understand gender roles.
Generally, children have a distinction between gender roles at 18 months. When children are two to three years old, we strengthen their understanding of gender roles and tell them the characteristics of boys and girls. , and distinguish. Generally, children around the age of 4 have gender stability , and boys have gender constancy around the age of 6, understand that changes in hair and clothing cannot change a person’s gender. If
does not help him establish the correct gender role during this period, he will have a gender disorder, just like Yangyang, which will trouble his gender. Fortunately, his mother can save it in time, otherwise it will have an adverse effect on the child's future.
Second, the child’s gender stereotype should not be excessively strengthened
The gender stereotype of boys should be: brave, upright, responsible, rugged, obedient, zzzy, zzzy, 203. To a certain extent, it affects girls. Many male jobs discriminate against girls, thinking that this is not something that girls should do, and that girls should do what girls can do.
also affects the family. The boy thinks I am a boy, the housework is done by the girl, and the child is watched by the girl. I am a boy, and the boy is only responsible for making money.
In fact, the best gender education is "bisexual"Education"
The best gender education is "intersex education"
The traditional "single sex" education has fallen behind, and it is replaced by "androgynous education". Intersex education is not a sex misplaced education, it can Making children more self-esteem, while having both male dominance and feminine understanding, is the most ideal personality education theory.
In 1964, Rossi proposed an androgyny that is different from the traditional contradictory views of male and female characteristics (consistency model)." The concept is that individuals have both traditional masculine and feminine characteristics, and believe that the most suitable gender role model is intersex, rather than traditional single-sex roles. American psychologist Bem puts forward the idea of androgyny based on previous studies. He believes that men and women are not opposite poles, but two relatively independent dimensions that can be separated. It has more or less traditionally considered masculine and feminine qualities. Individuals with androgynous psychology can act both in the traditional male way and in the traditional female way, and behave differently in different situations, thus increasing the flexibility and adaptability of gender roles. Research suggests that the overall psychological adaptation and self-esteem level of individuals with both sexes should be relatively high, which means that both male and female characteristics have a positive effect on healthy personality.
The "androgynous education" for children is to eliminate the shackles of role stereotypes. In addition to maintaining the gender characteristics of men and women, children must be compatible with each other, that is, the two sexes absorb each other's strengths and improve their personalities. For example, boys can learn more about girls’ carefulness, expressiveness, and understanding. Girls can learn how strong, cheerful, and brave boys are, but they must be appropriate and grasp the scale, otherwise they will violate the original intention of "androgynous education" and cause children to have a gender misunderstanding.
How to conduct "androgynous education"
I said before that must grasp a standard for androgyny education. Parents should not restrain their children's nature because of their gender, nor should they make him learn the wrong nature of the role of the opposite sex. pay attention to the principle of appropriateness .
- 1) Don't restrict him by gender, give him more options.
Qiqi likes playing the piano recently. My mother thinks that playing piano is something girls learn. At first, I didn’t want to report to him for classes. Later, when I saw that Qiqi really liked it, she took him to the trial class. I didn’t expect that the child was very focused and learned. The speed is also fast, so his mother reported to him to continue his studies.
There are many things that boys can do, and girls can also do it. Don’t use gender stereotypes to treat them. As long as the child likes it, encourage his interests and hobbies and accept his personality and temperament. , To give him a richer and diverse environment to explore . For example: Let boys play with dolls and play houses, girls can also like dinosaurs and vehicles; let boys cry and vent their emotions, and girls can shout and scream as much as they want.
- 2) Take the game as the starting point and look for opportunities for the development of androgyny personality.
When playing in the area, a group of children are playing the game of "police and thieves", some boys play policemen and some play thieves. A few little girls in the class also wanted to join, and the boy said: You are girls, you cannot be police, only boys can be police. The girls thought it made sense, and reluctantly returned to their doll's house.
This is a role-playing caused by gender stereotypes. This is an educational opportunity and what we need to reflect on. The society treats women or men in the same way, and some occupations have serious gender discrimination.
- first, We want to encourage children to try more life experience in the game regardless of gender , let children play different characters, so that they get their own different emotional experience, and let children understand that girls can also be brave and strong ; Boys can also be gentle and patient.
- Second, when helps children choose toys, they abandon gender stereotypes and liberate the child’s nature , so that he can also choose toys of the opposite sex, encourage and support him, so that children can have different emotional experiences and fully develop their personality. . , but the scale must be grasped, otherwise the wrong gender role will be formed.
- 3) Do not use gender as a criterion for evaluating children.
When a daughter is naughty, we have to teach her to behave, not to say: You are not like a good girl, you are like a tomboy. When our son hesitates and retreats, we should encourage him to cheer up and be brave, instead of saying: You are really not a man, not even a little girl.
Le Bao mother parenting We live in a civilized and progressive society. The era of stereotypes of sexual roles has passed. Now women can be presidents and men can also be obstetricians. So we do not suppress a certain aspect of the child's nature because of his gender, which affects the child's wand. As visionary parents, we treat our children in different ways.
hopes that every boy learns to understand and obey on the basis of masculinity; girl learns to be determined and resolute on the basis of lady style. Let every child follow his heart and grow into what he likes.
How do you view same-sex relationships? Welcome to leave a message to share
