The variety show between
Wan Yan Huide and Yu Xiuhua had finished airing, and I felt it was time to chat.
Yes, the "best friend turns into enemy friend" meme is indeed entertaining, but the public opinion caused by it is something I don't want to see.
I would like to ask what the program team thought, to turn a female exchange into a Colosseum-like spectacle? The protagonists of the
incident are actually familiar faces who have been written about before -
Yu Xiuhua, a grassroots poet suffering from cerebral palsy. Her humble background cannot prevent her from expressing her soul through words. Her loyalty to desires and self is her most amazing character.
Wanyan Huide, a unique Internet celebrity discovered by netizens, worked hard to become a psychological counselor by self-taught, but equipped with a mysterious accent and a set of extremely classical values, he became famous all over the Internet overnight.
It can be imagined that bringing these two women with completely different views together is definitely not for the purpose of "communication" or "exchange".
In fact, they are exactly the people who have been opposing and criticizing each other for half their lives.
On the way to meet, Yu Xiuhua had just previewed Wanyan’s background, and she couldn’t help but complain: This is nothing weird. When
formally met, Wanyan was teaching her a aunt-level positive psychology approach. The main theme always revolved around eight characters: endure humiliation and bear the burden, and live in peace.
Yu Xiuhua, who was tortured by this eight-character formula for the first half of her life, was probably cursing her mother in her heart.
It's like Princess Huanzhu negotiates with her aunt, one is spicy and naughty, the other is law-abiding.
Besides gender, it's hard for me to find anything else in common between them.
When she learned that Wanyan didn't drink, Yu Xiuhua would loudly tease her about what kind of psychology teacher she was, and laugh to the sky, acting like a wild woman.
When Yu Xiuhua is seen sitting or not, Wanyan will immediately correct her posture, feeling that she does not have a "female figure".
Suddenly I thought of a rather funny scene in " Tian Long Ba Bu " -
Zhuo Bufan, who has been practicing swordsmanship in seclusion for 20 years, thinks he is invincible and goes out to seek revenge in the name of "Sword God". He happens to run into the newly inherited Xu Zhu, who has gained the Xiaoyao sect's internal strength for more than two hundred years.
If someone wanted to get information, he would not hesitate to exchange his own magical swordsmanship. Xu Zhu had a look of disgust: I don't want to learn it.
Mr. Sword God:?
He wanted to show off his skills, Xu Zhu stretched out his hand and there came a weapon with n rings of sword flowers, and he handed it back respectfully.
Mr. Sword God:? ?
In the end, Mr. Sword God couldn't get angry and started a one-sided duel against Xu Zhu.
As for Xu Zhu, he refused to fight, and everyone in the audience flew into the sky and fled.
It's just that it's not like he's hiding from a powerful opponent, but more like he's hiding from a big flying cockroach from the south.
mentioned this because Xu Zhu's avoidance strategy is not only the wisdom of the world, but also the universal social truth - the prerequisite for
communication is that the level of both parties can really match.
Xu Zhu is a Shaolin disciple. He is at the entry level, but he is very knowledgeable in martial arts.
There is a difference in force value between two hundred years and twenty years. This competition is unnecessary. It just adds trouble. It is better to politely join hands and stop tossing each other.
This conclusion is completely appropriate when applied to the story between Wanyan Huide and Yu Xiuhua.
Wanyan Huide’s self-study degree from Peking University is much better than that of Yu Xiuhua, who dropped out of high school.
However, the difference in life experience has created a gap in their ideological consciousness.
To be more specific, the two of them have always practiced two different methods.
Wanyan Huide's method is asceticism.
She is a person who climbed up from the bottom through hard work. She has the typical superstition of hardship among the older generation. She insists on practicing hard and swallowing the joy, and suffers in the physical sense in exchange for the ultimate blessing.
Even though she is now (in a strange way) successful, she is still very proud of her frugal and strenuous life.
Yu Xiuhua’s method is Zen enlightenment.
God directly cut off the possibility of her "practicing it personally". With her weak body, she could not compete with her fate. The only way out was to cultivate her mind internally and make her spirit stronger.
She has long seen through all the illusions and egos in the world. Since she was not born as an ordinary person, she does not want to live like an ordinary person and simply throw away those baggage and masks.
I once said that Wanyan Huide is an unqualified psychological counselor, not only because she is not as professional as "Story Club", but also because she lacks even the most basic empathy and professional ethics.
A viewer once asked, "Why doesn't my mother take me with her when she gets married?" Her answer was, "Because you are her drag queen."
In fact, Wanyan herself has experienced hardships. Her native family always regarded her as a tool and commodity. In the end, she couldn't bear it and chose to run away, and she is alone today.
But the way she digests suffering and solves suffering for others is still the way of the older generation - the word
, avoids .
is just like many elders who have suffered the torment of marriage and family themselves, but still want to persuade you to get married and have children.
The secret of their self-consistency is that they are not self-consistent at all.
Rather than saying that the older generation firmly believes that their unhappiness is a special case, it is better to say that they have long silently accepted that unhappiness is our destiny.
But they are still unable to realize that they can resist, let alone imagine the prospects after resisting all this, so they can only inertially drag the next generation into this cycle.
avoids embarrassing things, proves glamorous, and strives to maintain life.
And this mentality is the fundamental reason why Wanyan angered Yu Xiuhua.
The conflict between the two intensified mainly because of two things.
First, Wanyan took the physically handicapped Yu Xiuhua to Peking University on a rainy day and spent a day to find her thesis tutor. However, she took the self-study exam route and had never been to the school, never met the teacher, and did not even have his contact information. .
Idiot
I can’t find anyone
In Yu Xiuhua’s eyes, this kind of behavior is an extremely ridiculous self-evidence.
Wanyan wanted to prove himself, but subconsciously he was afraid to face these noble things, so he made the entire program a part of his play with Peking University.
Secondly, Yu Xiuhua interviewed Wanyan about some personal experiences according to the request of the program team, especially the marriage and love issues that the public is curious about, but Wanyan claimed that this was her privacy.
Everyone's definition of privacy may be different, but in Yu Xiuhua's opinion, Wanyan, who was unwilling to disclose any personal information, was too guarded and could not adapt to this program.
, as I said before, has no communication basis.
Yu Xiuhua described Wanyan as greedy for fame, too obsessed, arrogant and suspicious.
Among the five poisons of living beings mentioned by Buddhism, she only has four types: "greed, ignorance, pride, and suspicion".
Yu Xiuhua happened to pick up the remaining "ang".
In the final analysis, both of them came from the realm of Tao, and the suffering they suffered cannot be compared.
But the difference is that Wanyan is escaping from despair, as if the night behind the window paper will not exist as long as it is not broken.
And Yu Xiuhua not only dared to expose it, she also dared to stare directly at the boundless unknown and terror outside the window. These are two completely different attitudes and realms of life.
Perhaps my words will reveal a disdain for Wanyan Huide, but believe me, I do not want to bully these two women, but rather want to emphasize the objective facts of this society -
The environment that creates each individual is It is unique, so the development level of people is also different. This is a more serious problem among women. From the abstract heroine on the screen to every concrete one in reality, the differences in the world are more exaggerated than in martial arts novels.
You can't require all low-class women to have the intelligence of Chizuru Ueno. I think Yu Xiuhua also understands this.
Therefore, her anger towards Wanyan Huide was not contempt, but helplessness and helplessness.
As a psychology practitioner, Wanyan doesn’t understand that exposing trauma is the most important step to mutual understanding?
In fact, for this situation, our ancestors have long given the standard answer:
The so-called "different paths do not work together" .
And in real society, people who are not on the same side often don’t have to deliberately avoid each other, and they rarely accidentally enter each other’s world; on the contrary, if they are on the same side, they can connect with each other without deliberately arranging.
Two other female guests joined in the second half of the show.
Su Min, a working woman who had been bound by marriage and life for half her life, chose to run away at the age of 50 and drove around the country in a car she bought, which made her famous on the Internet.
Yu Xiuhua could not conceal her joy and excitement when she saw her. She hugged her and said, "I watch your videos every day."
When she learned that Su Min had bought a new RV, she specially prepared firecrackers to celebrate her, which meant that she had her own new home.
There is also Deng Jing, a mother suffering from breast cancer. After learning that she might have less than half a year left to live, she made a list of "100 last wishes in life" and started to challenge them, which moved countless netizens. .
When Yu Xiuhua talked about her, her tone was full of sincere appreciation and admiration.
At the end of the single episode, I also wrote a poem for Deng Jing.
She is smiling, but I can't help but cry
The flame keeps rising
The ashes are also
Yu Xiuhua's likes and dislikes are as naked as her words, which has also become evidence for some people on the Internet to criticize her for "squeezing out" Wanyan.
But those who have really watched the show will know that although Yu Xiuhua despises Wanyan Huide, she has never deliberately made her look bad, and has even been digesting the conflicts between the two in her own way.
After the "Beijing University" incident, she never mentioned any in-depth personal topics to Wanyan, and only used her female gangster attitude to tease her in various ways.
On the one hand, she made concessions and temporarily avoided the other party's sensitive points.
On the other hand, after making trouble for her all day, Yu Xiuhua didn't reveal her true intention until a night that was more suitable for a heart-to-heart talk -
She wanted to use this kind of joke to help Wanyan desensitize herself, and she hoped she could live without it. Take some responsibility. For this reason,
also shared his own childhood traumatic experience as an example.
If you joke with others too much
you will feel that many netizens actually do not have any malicious intentions.
They may not be well-intentioned.
But what is certain is that they do not have any malicious intentions. It points directly to people's hearts.
She said that love is a kind of ability, not an instinct, so we cannot hope that the whole world will treat us well.
She also said that trauma can only be faced but not healed on its own. This is the only solution.
Yu Xiuhua criticized netizens, saying that Wanyan "cannot cure anyone".
Putting it in the context of the program, this criticism is actually valid.
The mental strength of the other three ladies is too strong, making Wanyan's "positive psychology" appear as weak as paper.
In the car, when Yu Xiuhua and Deng Jing were chatting about illness and death, Wanyan was very silent on the side.
It wasn't until Deng Jing confessed that she "lived every day as if it were the last day" that she intervened -
You should treat every day as a new day.
Deng Jing used six words to bring Wanyan back to silence: Do you still have hope?
Therefore, I believe that until the last moment, Yu Xiuhua still couldn't like Wanyan Huide. But she only resented Wanyan's inability to understand her, but he was not stingy enough to refuse to understand her.
Many people feel that at the end of this show, there is a touch of women reconciling and embracing each other.
But they just ignored that this happy ending was also the result of Yu Xiuhua's hard work.
Hypocritical respect is used to maintain dignity and appear harmonious, but it cannot generate any positive value.
True respect has nothing to do with likes and dislikes. Even if you are really unhappy with someone, if you don't avoid conflicts, you can achieve a dynamic harmony.
Fortunately, after a series of farce, this show still has a happy ending due to the efforts of women. But when I think back to the various designs in the show, it still makes me uncomfortable. In the first episode of the
program, Wanyan Huide was promoting ancient views on love and marriage in class.
It is always better for a young couple to have companionship in old age than not at all.
In the last episode of the show, the climax came when Aunt Su Min finally made up her mind and filed for divorce from her husband.
She said that she was influenced by everyone during this trip, but in her evaluation of "everyone", Wanyan Huide was left out.
This kind of tension is of course generated between people, but what really makes it a freak show is neither Yu Xiuhua, who is too progressive, nor Wanyan Huide, who is too conservative, but the mastermind behind this meeting. By.
- This is not establishing any "cross-frequency communication", but can only be interpreted as creating conflicts for the consumption and entertainment of good people.
The helpless difference between human beings and the world should not be reduced to the raw material of kitsch.
In an era when female themes are so popular, we all hope that communication between different people can bring more enlightening things, but the reality is that such works have been turned into entertainment and spectacle again and again. Capital hopes that what the guests will come up with is not opinions and thoughts, but fresh ideas.
Don’t we know how uneven this world is?
There are still countless confused people on the road to self-enlightenment. Those who seem to have achieved results are also facing a void that has not yet been stepped on. This is the painful truth of the world, not a drama.
If you really want to do something useful, you might as well be less pretentious and don't send them to hot searches for entertainment.
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