Campus bullying in the real world is much more shocking than "You Are".
"is either bullying or being bullied."
"You are a young man" after several twists and turns is finally released.
"You are a teenager" is one of the few domestic films that can directly face bullying on campus. It makes us suddenly realize that for some people, youth means not a sweet love, not a teenager running on the playground. , But an endless darkness.
People who have never experienced bullying can hardly imagine why a person is bullied so much that he would rather commit suicide than fight back? Why not find a teacher and talk to your parents? Why is it that some people are so bad? Is it that the current students are bad at learning?
Actually, campus bullying does not distinguish nationality, race, or culture. It existed in the past, it exists now, and it will exist in the future.
01
Being bullied is a lifelong nightmare.
Zhou Dongyu and Yi Shangqianxi in "You are a teenager" have dedicated their two age groups rare and wonderful performances.
Dongyu Zhou, played by Chen Nian, experienced the most extreme aspect of campus bullying in the movie-her classmates were bullied and jumped off the building, she herself was beaten, undressed, and nude photos were taken. Even she herself couldn't control her emotions and lost her hand. Killed her bullying by mistake.
But in fact, it was the less violent side that she experienced that hurt the most. In the
movie, Chen Nian and her classmates have a volleyball class together, but no one wants to pass the ball to her; Chen Nian’s mother was debt-collected for selling the “Three Nothing” mask, so Chen Nian was teased by the classmates; No one wants to be friends with Chen Nian, let alone go home from school with her.
Yes, physical violence, verbal violence, and rejection, among the three main methods of school bullying, those that seem less violent may be the most desperate.
Lucia in "After Lucia" was rejected and isolated by her classmates. She had no friends and could only lie on the desk in the classroom by herself/"After Lucia" stills
's health tracking survey of Chinese junior high school students also found that the rejection was The most "sad" bullying method has the greatest impact on mental health. The second is verbal violence, but beatings are secondary [1].
Have you ever experienced passing papers to be bypassed by students around you? Have you ever experienced standing alone on the playground and no one wants to play with you? Have you ever been scolded "bitch"? If
classmates ignore you or ignore you, you will be booing. Living in this environment, it is easy to doubt life, and it is easier to doubt oneself: "Is something wrong with me, why is everyone targeting me?"
Humiliation and self-doubt are common feelings of bullies.
Two people who were often bullied by their classmates retaliated and eventually led to a bloody campus shooting. This film is adapted from a real incident in the United States in 1999. In addition to self-destruction, such extreme retaliation is also one of the worst consequences / "Elephant" stills
This kind of pain that does not belong here and has no place to shelter, drowning and suffocation and isolation, and no friends can talk.
Anxiety, shame, and depressed emotions have even turned into physical pain. Among bullied children, the proportion of headaches, stomach pains, backaches, dizziness, and insomnia is significantly increased [2].
Some people even experience severe stress response (PTSD), or fall into severe depression, and cannot continue their studies. They also want to survive, but if they really can’t survive, they can only choose to end their lives like Chen Nian’s classmate in the movie [3]. What's worse is that people who have experienced bullying will probably not get out of this nightmare in their lifetime.
A review of Cambridge University shows us the difficult life of the bullied after he walks out of the school. For them, getting out of campus is not a painful end, but a new beginning.
After adulthood, the bullied person is more vulnerable to depression and has relatively low self-esteem. In this way, in the new environment, bullying and isolation often find them again. 36% of the bullied are in the new school and unit, and the nightmare recurs [2].
People who are bullied have another pain, that is, they feel that they do not deserve to have intimacy.
On September 10, 2010, a pair of teenagers hugged together by the Songhua River in Jilin City. People who have experienced bullying may find it difficult to trust others like this.
People who have experienced bullying are easierShy, they don't dare to trust others easily, making friends becomes difficult. fall in love? That is even more extravagant hope. They always remain vigilant and will not easily entrust their hearts to a member of the opposite sex [2].
It can be seen that campus bullying can affect or even completely destroy a person’s life. As TED speaker Nicholas Carlisle said, school bullying is a crime that can be paralleled with child abuse. In the case of
interviewed by Nicholas Carlisle, some people have their own family in their 30s and will have nightmares of returning to school at night[4].
02
Bullying, the darkest side of human nature
Many people who have watched "You are a teenager" have gritted their teeth on the role of "Wei Lai" in the movie.
Wei Lai is Chen Nian's female classmate. She has always been confident. First she bullied a classmate to commit suicide, and then she started to bully Chen Nian. She slapped her face, called her classmates to be isolated, stripped clothes, and took nude photos and videos.
This is also in line with the bullying videos we usually see on the Internet, in which men and women use all kinds of heinous methods to bully classmates.
A screenshot of a popular campus bullying video on the Internet. You can find hundreds of
in such a video. How can anyone be as bad as Wei Lai? Why do some children have to bully other children? Are these people the devil? The easiest answer to
is that these children have been taught badly. This is in line with our general view that if a child does not do well, it is just that parents did not teach well. Bear children bully people, the high probability is that their upbringing problems.
However, at least on the issue of campus bullying, the kid bear really does not mean that parents are not teaching well.
Hoshino (second from right) and Hasami (second from left), who grew up in different family backgrounds, were once targets of bullying by classmates, but later Hoshino embarked on the road of bullying others. / "All About Lily Zhou" stills
does have research It shows that parents who are too strict or neglect their children’s education are prone to bullying others. Moreover, bullies are less dependent on their parents than their peers.
But the problem is not that simple. Some scholars analyzed the past 70 studies on parental behavior and bullying risk, and found that negative parental behaviors, such as neglecting children or abusing violence, may also make children more likely to be bullied by others.
looks like this, even if the parents are not fulfilling their duties, whether the child is bullying or being bullied may be.
In fact, campus bullying is not the result of a few bad boys spontaneously as it seems, but a means for teenagers to fight for status.
's study of 555 Canadian middle school students found that bullies are indeed unpopular with their classmates, but at the same time, classmates also think that bullies are more attractive and have more leadership skills and have more assets.
In other words, although it is wrong to bully others, everyone knows it is wrong. But the bully succeeded in showing his classmates a muscle, showing his strength and dominance.
Harry's father, James Porter, was the "King of the Kids" in his school days, and playing tricks on the "weird" and "dirty" Snape is also a way for him to declare his status. / "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" stills A display like
has brought immediate benefits. A study of 500 Canadian students found that bullies attract more of the opposite sex than others. It seems that the bully has indeed tasted the sweetness. In addition to showing yourself,
is also important to attack your competitors.
The bullying in "You Are Young" is basically between girls. Compared with the direct violence shown in movies, more girls face the rejection and isolation of good friends, as well as the rumors and attacks that girls spread in social circles.
A study on campus bullying in the United Kingdom found that the motivation for campus bullying among girls is basically inseparable from two things: maintaining reputation or competing for specific boys. Regardless of whether it is direct action or spreading rumors, it is actually a means to exclude competitors.
This is part of adolescent sexual competition. King's University of London conducted a study on 1116 pairs of twins and found that 61% of bullying behavior can be explained by genetic differences. This is not to say that 60% of bullying behaviors are genetically controlled, but at least it shows that bullying is largely not learned, but innate.
This is why, no matter which country you are in, campus bullying has been repeatedly banned.
Dongyu Zhou's Chen Nian is not the firstThe one being bullied is not the last. In the face of campus bullying, what we are fighting against is not the wickedness of a few people, but the darkest side of human nature.
03
No one can help you. What do you feel about
's "Young You" performance is the feeling of helplessness of the victims.
People always make arbitrary assertions about things they haven't experienced. In the eyes of some people, the victim either made a mistake or was too weak.
Just like many people have a hard time understanding depression patients, it is also difficult for bystanders to truly understand the situation of the bullied
If the victim tells his parents and friends what happened to them, they will probably hear "You are bullied, just call back." Ah", "If you are tough on them a few times, they will know it is amazing."
But it is a pity that even if a few people succeed in getting out of the sea of suffering by this method, it is still not a good solution to fight back. The consequence of
fighting back is to face more violent revenge. A follow-up survey of 199 children shows that children who choose to fight back face more persistent bullying than other children.
In addition, it is not so easy to decide to fight back. A study of 1722 students found that there are almost two parallel lines between victims who choose to be silent and victims who choose to counterattack, and no one will easily change camp.
The idea of Christian and Elias who suffered violence in the Danish film "A Better World". In fact, not only children, but many parents also have the same idea. / "A Better World" stills
can't save themselves by themselves, and classmates are watching them coldly. Just like a classmate who walks by blood in the movie, unless a sense of justice erupts, otherwise "do not feel that the situation is serious", "I am incapable and responsible" "I am not familiar with the bullied", everyone has a good reason for nothing .
report teacher? The help provided by the teacher is also very limited. You can look at a bullying's personal experience. In her eyes, the teacher can hardly help:
"Ask the teacher for help? Do you think the teacher really doesn't know? But what's the use?" It’s impossible for him (she) to be with you all the time. Maybe, as soon as you turn around, those people will make you better. I'd rather be like this." A teacher like
in "Young You" is never in reality. Rarely, even if the student seat is filled with ink, they only want to admit that it is a joke.
Senior three is a very tight and closed environment. This environment is also a breeding ground for bullying on campus. Teachers usually use "don't delay learning" to fool the past.
In a bullying incident in 2017, a student was filled with toilets by classmates. The paper trash basket was buckled on his head, and there was a stress reaction that could not go to school, but the teacher said, "This is just an excessive joke."
For these teachers, this may be really nothing. After all, puppies and hairstyles are the big things they must pay attention to.
Parents can't help you, teachers can't help you, and classmates can't help you. In this case, all the victims can do is find friends who can support them.
This is really difficult, but a tracking study of 208 bullied people found that 72% of them were out of bullying within two years. According to them, making new friends is an important reason for them not to be bullied.
Ogi, who was born with facial deformity and was rejected by his classmates, bravely confronted his bullies with the encouragement of family and friends./"Miracle Boy" stills
is a different victim of campus bullying, just like an island. How can we connect them together? How can we make them have the courage to start life again? How can we protect them from harm?
"You are a teenager" cannot solve these problems, and it is not responsible for solving any problems. But at least, "The Young You" took the first step, even if it was only a small step.
[1]Song Yueping, Zhang Jingwen. (2018). The impact of bullying on the health of middle school students: Based on the analysis of the Chinese Education Tracking Survey. Chinese Health Policy Research, v.11; No.117(06) , 66-71. [2]Ttofi, MM ,Farrington, DP. (2008). Bullying: short-termand long-term effects, and the importance of defiance theory inexplanation and prevention. VictimsOffenders, 3(2-3), 289-312. [3] Huang Zepeng, Zhang Yan, Ou Limin, Li Liping. (2015). Research progress on the epidemiological characteristics of school violence among primary and middle school students. Chinese School Health, 36(10), 1596-1600. [4] Carlisle, N. ,Rofes, E.. (2007). School bullying: do adult survivors perceive long-term effects?. Traumatology, 13(1), 16-26. [5]Lereya, ST ,Samara, M. ,Wolke, D... (2013). Parentingbehavior and the risk of becoming a victim and a bully/victim: ameta-analysis study. Child AbuseNeglect, 37(12), 1091- 1108. [6]Vaillancourt, T., Hymel, S. ,Mcdougall, P.. (2003). Bullying is power: implications for school-based intervention strategies. Journal of Applied School Psychology, 19(2), 157-176. [7]Provenzano, DA, Dane, AV, Farrell, AH, Marini, ZA,Volk, AA (2017). Do Bullies Have More Sex? The Role ofPersonality.Evolutionary Psychological Science, 1-12. [8]Kochenderfer, BJ ,Ladd, GW. (1997). Victimizedchildren's responses to peers' aggression: behaviors associated withreduced versus continued victimization. D evelopment and Psychopathology, 9(1), 59-73. [9]Hanish, LD,Guerra, NG (2004). Aggressive victims, passive victims, and bullies: Developmental continuity or developmentalchange?. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly (1982-) , 17-38. [10] He Lan. (2014). The Invisible Corner——A study on the bullying phenomenon of girls on middle school campuses in my country [11] The Paper. (2016). A mother in Beijing said her son had suffered for a long time Bullying on campus, once was deducted by classmates using the toilet trash basket
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