Sunday special feature ~ In the world of movies, read the truth of marriage and family
[story]:
Ordinary marriage and family, different feelings, different love, love together, will reflect family affection Priceless and great!
This is a family love story of an American family that happened in the early 1990s. There are no sensational plots. It truly reflects the ordinary and dull marriage and family life, but it contains strong family affection and maternal love. Greatness and perseverance, moving and thought-provoking.
The whole movie revolves around the growth of the daughter of the "George-Kate" family, Ellen, what she saw, heard and felt. Ellen has always admired her father, a writer who is a professor at the university, and almost disdainful of her mother, a housewife. Her father has always been her role model and the goal of her life.
As an independent woman, Ellen will officially become a journalist for The New Yorker when she graduates from Harvard University . This is a job she loves, and she can write like her father George, which is a part of her childhood. Planted life goals, and the future is bright. When
returned from New York to celebrate his father George's birthday, he learned that his mother, Kate, had advanced cancer and was in urgent need of surgery. The father wanted Allen to go home to take care of the mother, and Allen wanted the father to quit his job to take care of the mother. There was a big quarrel between the father and the daughter, but the father was very strong. As a daughter, Allen had to make sacrifices and reluctantly quit his job. , returning to the town's native family to take care of a sick mother.
Ellen came home and started helping her mother with the housework, while her father's life was unaffected. Good things happen together. The originally estranged mother-daughter relationship has undergone subtle changes, and she sees the truest side of her family's past and present lives.
's mother wasn't as weak and timid as she once thought she was, but a smart, strong woman. Her father is not as brave, wise, and ambitious as she once thought, but a selfish, cowardly, and careless man. As a result, Allen's "father-daughter relationship" with his father George became extremely tense, and the contradiction rose to an unresolved level.
The mother Kate, whose condition deteriorated, saw it in her eyes and was anxious in her heart, hoping that the father and daughter would be reunited, so she called her daughter Alan to her room and talked about her love for her husband and the importance of marriage and family, and the husband's contribution to the marriage and family. What you see with your eyes is not necessarily the real world, especially marriage and family, which are full of ups and downs, you can only love and experience with your heart. The mother is about to die, and the father is actually very sad. The mother hopes that Alan will find the father who has not returned home. Alan found his father in a pub, a terrifying fact that he didn't want to believe that his wife just left the house, paralyzed himself with alcohol, didn't dare to face his dying wife, and hid in the pub to escape from himself.
's mother couldn't bear the torment of the disease and begged her daughter to help her end her pain, but Allen couldn't do it. But the mother died peacefully. To this end, Allen was prosecuted for the murder of his mother.
Is it Alan, or did the father euthanize the mother? The ending of the story is intriguing, the father and daughter realize at the mother's grave that the mother herself had injected herself with an overdose of morphine and died. The father murmured to himself, constantly recounting his love for his wife, the eternal light that shines on him and will never go away.
The family love is priceless. In the end, Allen forgave his father, and the family continues to be beautiful and happy!
[After-view]:
The relationship between husband and wife in the original family marriage, The relationship between parents and children The time changes, The source of stress If the disease is sick, the family is more intimate, hand in hand, heart to heart, flying the same marriage and family happiness The hymn
is an old movie released in 1998, but it is a new touch again and again in the epidemic era! Many families who are sealed at home have watched "Family Love is Priceless", and they feel more and love marriage and family more. They have a new understanding of family and marriage, and new sublimation!
Our colleagues at the Native Family and Marriage Clinic also watched this movie with deep emotion.Elements are infecting it, sighing for Kate's mother's greatness and transparency, wisdom and love, and also inspired by Ellen's daughter's change and understanding, filial piety and reconstruction, and at the same time for the father's romance and awakening, Missing and loving and happy.
Marriage and family, no matter which country you are in, is never smooth sailing, but full of hardships and ups and downs, whether it is a rich or poor family. It seems that happy marriages and families are the same, and unhappy marriages and families have their own misfortunes. Between happiness and misfortune, there is a lack of mutual love and tolerance, love and understanding, love and cherishing, love and gratitude!
"If I could know that you would be happy, I would close my eyes now!" What mother Kate said to her daughter Ellen is the most touching language in the world and the most common wish of great mothers in the world! For the happiness of the family, you can die for the family and bear all the disasters, because in the mother's mind, the family is her only life, and the health and happiness of the family are the value of her life!
In many of our families, especially the original family, the father is the pride of the family, just like the movie "Family Love is Priceless", the father George is the dean of the university department, a writer, and has an enviable social status, and the mother Kate is a so-called so-called. The housewives of the 2000s do everything for the sake of marriage and family. On the surface, they are "neglected, even despised and looked down upon by others", which is the normal view of social life. Allen, the daughter of the
movie "Family Love is Priceless", has always disliked her mother Kate because of this understanding. She is most worried about her boring life like her mother, and hopes to rush in the direction of her "radiant" father. , and finally discovered the mother's great love and wisdom, it was the mother who made their family warm and happy, and it was the mother who sheltered their home!
"Mom, how can you endure doing so much and yet being ignored?"
's mother Kate said to her daughter Alan affectionately: "Marriage life is full of ups and downs, to cherish everything in front of you, home is too important. With you, a husband, your brother, and this family, I have everything! I know my husband, everything he does, I know it, some things are in my heart, I can't say it, but I know that if Without him, my life would be a blank." In fact, a wife loves her husband in her own way, and her husband loves his wife in his own way, because they are a family, they will not care about anything, and are willing to love them people to pay!
In real life, every family has a difficult scripture to read. The key is not to "calculate gains and losses", not to "calculate benefits", to love with heart, to do with love, the mother of the movie "Family Love is Priceless" Kate is an example! She was genuine and sincere in expressing her heart to her daughter Ellen: "Some nights you think: I can't take another minute. But wake up in the morning, the smell of coffee in the kitchen, the kids have their hair done, you I will look at your husband and think, my husband is not as good as you think, nor as bad as you think, but he is your life, your children, your family, all around him. It's your life and it's your history. If you cut him off like you cut it out of the face in your own photo, it's just going to open a hole and ruin everything. You can be harsh or critical, but These two things are enough to make your life never peaceful." What a wise mother
! "Accounting for gains and losses, there will be big losses"! A person is not a saint, and whoever can do so has no faults. For marriage and family, if you have a family, you have everything, and if you don’t have a family, you can’t go back to everything! Some Chinese people who advocate the so-called "love first" in the West should reflect on the American film "Family Love is Priceless". Love without the value of marriage and family will not last long. Beautiful flowers are also the most ancient and most honorable fossils of human beings!
[knowledge point]:
recognizes the concept of marriage and family from the movie "Family Love is Priceless", and how to view and understand marriage and family ?
What is marriage: simply put, the world is a legal group consisting of a man and a woman.
The Chinese concept, marriage is a special social relationship between people, a form of social organization of the relationship between men and women, that is, it is recognized by the social system at that time or recognized by laws or social customs, living together permanently. for the purpose, the union of men and women as husbandsThe form of social organization of wives.
movie "Family Love is Priceless", George, Kate, is the marriage relationship.
What is a family: In short, the world is a group of two or more people who have a marriage, parent-child or adoption relationship.
The Chinese concept, the family is a relatively small group of households in a kinship or kinship-like relationship, a unit that functions in cooperation with each other. The classic six-cycle theory of family life is centered on the husband and wife, pointing out that the family includes six stages: formation, expansion, stabilization, contraction, empty nest, and disintegration, which correspond to marriage, the birth of the first child, the birth of the last child, and the birth of the first child. Six important events are the departure of one child from their parents, the last child from their parents, and the death of one spouse. In the
movie "Family Love is Priceless", due to the marriage relationship between George and Kate, they gave birth legally, and then their daughter Alan and younger brother formed a family, a family of four! The family of
has experienced four major events, including marriage, the birth of the first child, the birth of the last child, and the death of one spouse. How does
view and understand marriage and family?
In the " Civil Code of the People's Republic of China ", the basic principles of marriage and family relations are determined:
1, marriage and family are protected by the state
2, freedom of marriage, monogamy, equality between men and women marriage system
3, protection of women, The legal rights and interests of minors, the elderly, and the disabled have also been determined. At the same time, the prohibited behaviors of marriage and family have been determined:
1, the prohibition of arranged marriages, buying and selling marriages, and other behaviors that interfere with the freedom of marriage. Prohibition of to ask for property through marriage
2, prohibition of bigamy. It is forbidden for those who have a spouse to cohabit with others, and domestic violence is forbidden. Abuse and abandonment among family members is prohibited. In addition to this,
also established the code of ethics for marriage and family:
1. The family should establish a good family style, promote family virtues, and attach importance to the construction of family civilization.
2. Love children, help each other, and maintain an equal, harmonious and civilized marriage and family relationship. In the
movie "Family Love is Priceless", the marriage and family of this family of four are in compliance with the law, but in the construction of marriage and family, the wife Kate is a model, she has been faithful, respectful and caring to her husband, maintaining harmony and civilization , can give 100 points, her husband George is a bit distracted, pays more attention to career than family, and ignores his wife's love, but overall it is still good, no major fault, can give 75 points. The woman Allen didn't understand her mother at first, and was disdainful of her, but gradually she understood her mother, and felt the greatness and wisdom of mother's love. She turned to fight for her mother, blamed her father, and finally forgave her father and maintained this happy family!
The family is the most important part of society. When we look at and understand the family, we often study and analyze it from the aspects of sociology, ethics, economics, psychology, etc. The most popular theories of marriage and family are mainly There are three major theories, which are explained as follows:
1, structure-function theory
If a person grew up in a traditional nuclear family, then he has the greatest possibility of success. In a family, when the husband goes out to work to support the family, and the wife gives birth to their own children in the head of the family, then the family will abide by the mainstream social values and social norms. As a result, the family functions well in society and their children grow up healthy and happy. Conversely, if children live in nontraditional families (such as divorced or bereaved families), the likelihood of them deviating is greatly increased. The
structure-function theory is still the most ideal family model, and the nuclear family is still a model when looking at non-traditional families. When people study the impact of divorce on children, when they study the education of children in single-parent families, and when they study children adopted by gay families, they all use the nuclear family as a reference. In the
movie "Family Love is Priceless", it is such a family, the husband worksRaising the family, the wife is the head of the family, and they have children together. The father influences the daughter Allen, the woman is also successful, and the son also grows up happily.
2, Conflict Theory
Conflict theory states that each member of the family acts in their own favor. Since these people have different interests, conflicts are bound to arise between them. For example, siblings will fight over the remote control of the TV, couples will fight over time with their children, parents and children will fight over who does how much chores. Families are highly hierarchical, with parents controlling children and men controlling women. The hierarchy in the family reflects the wide range of inequalities in society in terms of race, class and gender.
conflict theory believes that conflict is a means of social change, those with power try to prevent the emergence of social change, while those without power promote social change to make society more equitable. If we think of the family as an ordinary micro-system in society, we find that families teach children the principles of conflict and compromise at a very young age. In
's movie "Family Love is Priceless", in fact, the husband controls his wife and his daughter. George ordered his daughter to go home to take care of his wife. He was very strong and could not tolerate his daughter Allen's objection. This is what caused the conflict. The daughter had to give up the journalist job she liked, and the father remained the same as before, nothing changed. . Daughter Alan compromised, but in the days of caring for her mother, she found her mother's perseverance and her father's infidelity, and began to rebel against her father and sympathize with her mother. In fact, there are conflicts in any marriage and family, which are caused by the existence of interests and are difficult to eliminate. We must admit this!
3, Symbolic Interaction Theory
In symbolic interaction theory, individuals are shaped in the process of interacting with others. Through these interactions, including our understanding of those interactions, we develop self-awareness. Since we spend a lot of time with our closer family members, family members play a big role in forming people's sense of self and self-identity.
's symbolic interaction theory holds that we know ourselves through others, and others' impression of us is like a mirror that allows us to see ourselves (the so-called "mirror-me" concept).
The theory of symbolic interaction has three main concepts: self (formed by interacting with others), society (in this large socialized system, people understand the meaning of symbols and learn to play their own social roles), role (in the interaction with others) process, the role others want us to play in society). Symbolic interaction theory also studies modern families, but it focuses on the roles played by each member of the family. For example, in different periods of family life, how the roles of husband and wife are positioned, and how factors such as the division of gender roles affect the relationship between husband and wife. In the
movie "Family Love is Priceless", the father George is the daughter's "me in the mirror". Allen hopes to be like his father when he grows up. This is the influence of the symbol interaction , so he dismissed his mother and left bad impression. But once symbols interact, they change, roles change, and family relationships change with them. Today, in a marriage and family where men and women are equal, symbolic interaction still dominates, especially the impact on children will be far-reaching. Therefore, in children's education, the role of parents, and the process of children's symbolic interaction, adopt equal communication , the principles of pleasant communication, fairness and openness are of great benefit to the improvement of the happiness index of marriage and family!
Writing: Yiming Lin Shuyu Mingsheng
Editor: Yuhui Ji Qing Xinwentai
Review: Lanma Culture Media Center
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