Why can Huang Bo become a goddess harvester?

Huang Bo , I believe many people are familiar with him. Millions of movie stars and actors who have worked with him are full of praise for him. This is inseparable from his excellent acting skills first, and his high emotional intelligence second. ! Every time it faces others' intentional or unintentional difficulties, it can resolve the storm through its humorous and witty language. Who wouldn't like such a talented and graceful male star?

take a small example, Huang Bo went to participate in Xiao S's show, and Xiao S mocked his appearance at that time: "You look so special." Huang Bo smiled without saying a word, and then stood beside him and said, "I just started actually It looks more graceful, and then it gradually becomes abstract." It caused a lot of laughter, and at the same time, it also subtly resolved the embarrassment.

In real life, we have also met people who "talk to people and talk to ghosts", whether in life or in the workplace, they can always get along well, and people are really envious. !

Then, have we ever encountered a situation where we quarreled with others and didn't have enough fun, and always felt that our words did not express this well? I always slap my thigh after I have communicated with others, and after I have reviewed it myself, it would be great if I said that. Hey, why do I feel like I can't catch up when I talk?

This is the problem of communication between people, some people are the little experts in speculation, and some people are the topic terminators. So what should we do to communicate effectively?

Joseph A. DeVito, the author of Mastering the Conversation: Effective Communication Skills, is a well-known communication scholar in the United States, Professor Emeritus at Hunter College, City University of New York, and a member of the American Communication Association. A number of books on communication and have been published, and their academic articles are frequently found in communication magazines and books.

This book is based on communication, expounds the general concepts and principles of interpersonal communication, the interrelationship between interpersonal communication and interpersonal relationships, and the specific means of interpersonal communication. This book is more comprehensive and detailed to explain, let's find a few points to discuss it.

First, listening is an essential way

No matter what we are in, we need to learn to listen, listening is essential for developing and maintaining all kinds of relationships. For example, in the face of parents, we can only listen patiently and attentively, so that we can make parents feel that we value them and truly understand their needs; Unnecessary quarrels; when facing children, careful and attentive listening will allow us to enter the hearts of children and discover the meaning behind those rebellious behaviors...

Second, interpersonal relationships in context are divided into language information and Non-verbal information

communication is not just verbal communication. The non-verbal information such as our expressions, actions, and tone of voice during communication all play an auxiliary role in this communication.

once watched a TV series " Mind-Reading Detective ". I don't remember the specific content clearly, but there is a sentence that is impressive: Your expression has betrayed yourself! Yes, it was based on the criminal's micro-expressions to solve the case. At the time, I thought it was amazing!

Effective use of non-verbal information allows us to communicate more effectively with others.

Third, the conversation should follow the five principles

process principle: Treat the conversation as a process, start-feedforward-topic-feedback-end.

Principles of Collaboration: When you communicate with people, talk on the assumption that both parties agree.

Conversational Principle: Conversation is conversational, everyone is both a speaker and a listener, both a sender and a receiver of information.

Turn Principle: As the name suggests, Conversation is a role-playing show where the identities of speakers and listeners are interchanged.

Politeness Principle: This one is even more obvious, because no one wants to start their first sentence with someone else with a dirty word, which is what we have been asked to do since childhood.

In fact, the process of communication is very complicated. We can only be thoughtful, let go of ourselves, and try hard, and eventually we will succeed. After all, high emotional intelligence can be cultivated.