01
In recent years, a line in Qiong Yao's drama many years ago was turned out and became the object of ridicule by netizens. This sentence is "You only lost a leg, but she lost love". The
drama is very far away, I only vaguely remember that it was said by an important male character in " One Curtain Dream ". I even forgot who the specific character was.
Although this sentence has been ridiculed to the extreme now, but some years ago, Qiong Yao's three views and the three views of her characters have influenced a large number of people (although more than ten or twenty years later, Qiong Yao and her dramas have become popular again. The pronoun for the three views is outdated, just like that line). But once, for some young women, Qiong Yao was the enlightenment of their love. In their dictionary, love was indispensable.
At that time, Qiong Yao's novels and movies and TV series adapted from her novels or written by her were all the rage. Her school is called the romance school. In the romance school, everything in the world is not as important as the love of the hero and heroine. , In the Qiong Yao universe, love is the only right thing.
02
Although today's women are living more and more transparently, and they don't feel that love and marriage is a perfect life, most women still care about love.
love! is very important.
Yes, when you have no responsibility on your shoulders, bold pursuit of love is certainly worth advocating.
And if you can only choose between love and responsibility, how do you choose?
give up responsibility and may be called selfish.
don't dare to pursue love, and you feel wronged in this life because you can't stay with the person you love. Does
have the best of both worlds?
The answer is probably - no!
03
" bottom line ", Xu Tian's mother Xiaoqin, encountered this problem.
Xu Tian's father, Xu Dongsheng, worked hard day and night in order to create more material conditions for the small family, leaving the family affairs to his wife Xiaoqin.
Their child Xu Tian lived with his mother when he was a child. Because he didn't spend much time with his father, Xu Tian's relationship with his mother naturally deepened. Men do not have the time and energy to accompany their children in order to earn money. The children are brought up by the mother, the father provides material resources, and the mother takes care of the children's daily life and study.
The relationship between people and people is cultivated through companionship and contact. Because most families have different division of labor between men and women, we see that in most families, most children have a better relationship with their mothers (unless the mother is particularly disrespectful, no Do your best as a mother).
The Xu Dongsheng family was originally the same as most people's families. Although there is not much passion between husband and wife, they can live smoothly. However, because of Xiaoqin's alumni reunion, the family lost its former peace.
Xiaoqin rekindled her old love with her first love at the class reunion, and the fire of middle-aged love was burning so intensely that she couldn't stop it.
05
Maybe Xu Dongsheng doesn't communicate much with his wife except to make money. But as a woman, Xiaoqin doesn't think so, she still needs the nourishment of love.
I don't know what earth-shattering passion she experienced with her first love and finally separated for some last resort. Although she later married Xu Dongsheng, in a certain corner of her heart, she always retains the memory of her first love. When she had the opportunity to reunite with her old lover, the man she treasured in her heart was completely released by her, fascinated her heart, and amplified her desire for love.
At that time, his son Xu Tian was in high school, so Xu Dongsheng naturally didn't want family changes to affect his children. But Xiaoqin is obsessed with ghostsAcupuncture, divorce and first love reorganization. Xu Dongsheng did not leave, so she decided to go to the court to file for divorce, and then packed up and prepared to leave home.
At this time, the family child is a fart to her, and she will let it go. In her eyes, only her love is left-probably she was also a fan of Qiong Yao in the early days.
In the face of cheating on his wife who has already decided, Xu Dongsheng couldn't hold back his hand, which made him more convinced that he is not a good man, because no matter how angry a good man is, he can't beat a woman. (Hmph, no matter how shameless a woman is, a man can't beat a woman. Isn't that so?)
06
More unfortunately, Xu Dongsheng's only domestic violence was discovered by his son Xu Tian.
This half-sized boy is going to work hard for his mother and father when he picks up a knife. And since then, in order to help his mother seek justice, his son Xu Tian treats his father as an enemy.
This family was finally completed because Xiaoqin's first love died in a car accident. Xiaoqin finally stopped getting divorced, but her heart died. She soon got an incurable disease and left. Maybe she missed too much. Before her death, she left a suicide note and asked Xu Dongsheng to bury her with her first love - treating Xu Dongsheng as a legitimate husband as nothing, and showing blatant contempt for him.
cheated in marriage, gave up family and children to pursue love.
In the eyes of some people, women should pursue love boldly and live for themselves.
Of course, more people oppose cheating in marriage, despise Xiaoqin's practice, and think she is too selfish.
Xu Tian hates his father. In his eyes, his mother is an angel, the perfect woman to raise him and accompany him to grow up.
And Xu Dongsheng silently swallowed the bitter fruit that his wife and children gave him, and forbeared all the grievances until he was paralyzed and could not enter the nursing home, the house was about to be taken away, and he had to help his son.
07
interviewed a lot of women who were not in a good relationship a few years ago, and I have a feeling that many women now really know how to think about themselves, leave unhappy marriages to pursue their own happiness, and they are very calm: I don't want children, I will look for it again in the future, but I will look for it when I have children.
And what I heard the most when I was a kid was, I would rather be a beggar mother than an emperor father. In layman's terms, a child with a mother is a treasure. If there is a stepmother, there is a stepfather.
Of course, this is not absolute, there are also good stepmothers and bad mothers.
What to leave the father and leave the son, in fact, most people can't be so fierce.
No matter whether Xu Tian hates his father in his heart or his mother is his favorite woman, but it is not very likely that he can follow his mother to find his stepfather to form a new home. As he said later, even if he hated his father again, he was still his biological father, and he couldn't watch him die.
So Xiaoqin either left her son and went to accompany her old lover to find her true love, and her perfect mother image collapsed.
Either hold back the nausea and continue to live with Xu Dongsheng, who doesn't love him. The advantage is that his son is still her good son, and she loves her mother the most.
08
I read some self-media articles scolding people like Xiaoqin for being selfish, and the early death of her lover is retribution.
is actually not necessary.
Women have the right to pursue love, and Xiaoqin should have the right not to sacrifice her love. Of course, whether or not to use this right varies from person to person.
, as a family member, of course want the family to be complete, but if she and Xu Dongsheng live together in the same way, it is not humane to force her to stay at home. And if her heart is not there, she may still care about her son, but for Xu Dongsheng, there is no difference between having a wife and not having a wife.
In the end, she was unhappy and died, which is a relief.
Xu Dongsheng wears a big green hat, and it is not easy for him to endure for many years for his son.
Men and women, it's not easy. (The picture comes from "Bottom Line")
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