From the top rich to the homeless, he declared bankruptcy: people who are short of money, what are they doing wrong?

Hellinger said that money has a soul.

It is subordinate to life, used and transferred only in the service of life. If it is not used to enrich life, it will leave you.

Nicholas Cage should be deeply touched by this quote.

, ​​who was only 32 years old at the time, won the Academy Award for Best Actor for " Leaving Las Vegas ", and his career went smoothly, and his salary was as high as 20 million US dollars.

In 2007, Cage successfully won the annual box office championship, with a net worth of 150 million US dollars on the Forbes list.


However, due to his profligacy, he quickly became heavily in debt. A few years ago, I went to a bar to drink, and was kicked out as a homeless person. Over the years, in order to repay the debt, countless bad films have been made, and the reputation has plummeted to the bottom.

includes the autobiographical film "The Weight of Genius that Can't Take ". Interestingly, after the film premiered, it received a good reputation. With the money he earned, he paid off a lot of debt.

It is not difficult to see that Cage's attitude towards money largely determines the direction of his life. The same is true: a person's attitude towards money determines what attitude he will take in the world.

Why is this happening?



Love and Fear of Money

In Cage's dramatic life, every penny flows for a deep psychological reason.

He reportedly paid $300,000 for a 67-million-year-old Taborosaurus dinosaur skull. However, the skull was later confirmed to have been stolen. He had to hand it over to the police, and the $300,000 was gone.

He also bought a prehistoric bear skull. Unfortunately, accidentally broke it while playing pool at home.

In addition, he especially likes to buy luxury yachts, luxury cars, estates, islands. In short, what to burn, what to buy. In the heyday of

, ​​Cage owned 4 luxury yachts, 50 rare cars and 30 motorcycles. And the most expensive thing he ever bought was two private islands in Bahamas , worth about $7 million.


However, the most incomprehensible thing is that he loves to buy haunted houses.

In 2006, Cage bought a haunted house for $3.45 million (equivalent to RMB 22 million). It was the property of the serial killer Madame Delphine LaLaurie. It is reported that she tortured and killed countless slaves in the family in this house.

From an investment perspective, haunted houses are completely bad assets, but he doesn't care.

In addition, frequent marriages, and each time they are very hasty, and most of the property is divided away once divorced, is another major reason for accelerating Cage's bankruptcy.

In the end, the 1 billion assets were quickly squandered.


As Hellinger said, money has a soul. Of course, the so-called soul is just a metaphor, it refers to our subconscious mind.

Our subconscious knows or senses that money should be kept or lost.

It is not the money itself that determines where the money goes, but our subconscious attitude towards it.

It can be seen that Cage's attitude towards money is willful, casual and irrational, as if facing a nasty ghost who is eager to get rid of it, he just wants to get rid of it quickly.

He enjoys more of the momentary pleasure of spending money. Therefore, even if you have a lot of money, it is not enough. When you can't support it after spending frenzy, you will sell the things you bought at a low price. Over time, profligate addiction will form a vicious circle, and you will be trapped in it, unable to extricate yourself.

It's clear that the money didn't serve his life well, but instead got him into trouble for a while.

As a result, the money left him as he wished.


As Morgan, author of "The Psychology of Money," said, it is your subconscious mind, not your intelligence and knowledge, that determines your relationship with money.

Subconsciously, our feelings about money tend to be somewhere between two extremes, fear and love.

What is the fear? It is an instinctive rejection and avoidance of things beyond one's control, and it is very emotional.

For example, when it comes to making money, you feel very tired, hard, and embarrassed; or, when you spend money, you feel guilty, uncomfortable and ashamed.

These negative emotions inspired by money are fear.

Conversely, when a person is in love with something, all emotions are positive. This is the case with most active entrepreneurs. Their love for money drives them to pursue it with all their strength. In the process, even if they experience setbacks, they still do not change their original intentions.

From this point of view, on the surface everyone wants to become rich, but subconsciously some people love money and some people are afraid of money.

People who love money are nourished by money; people who are afraid of money are only consumed by money.



The essence of lack of money is lack of love

Why do our attitudes towards money vary so much?

From a ego psychology perspective, money is an important object. The so-called object is the world outside of oneself. Life is a process of constantly cultivating the relationship between the self and the object (the outside world).

A person with inner richness is more likely to establish positive relationships with the outside world. On the other hand, a person who is deficient inside will always be confused with the outside world.

Cage is a natural actor, his ego is very dramatic, and when projected to the outside, it manifests as impulsive consumption. This is largely related to his family of origin.


Cage was born into the famous Coppola film family.

's uncle is Francis Coppola who directed the " Godfather " trilogy, and his cousin is Sofia Coppola who won the golden statue with " Lost in Tokyo ".

Under the influence of his family, he was determined to become an extraordinary actor from a young age, especially keen to play Superman. However, after many unsuccessful "dream pursuits" and frustration, he can only turn to seeking satisfaction from bizarre collections and maverick marriages. The high spending power provided by the high salary of


amplifies the presentation effect of this demand.

In essence, what he buys is not a skull or an island, but an attempt to heal himself in this way and repair his relationship with the outside world. People who are more torn inside tend to behave crazier.

So, he is a "prodigal" and a poor man. The same is true for


bowing to itself.

A self-sufficient person is not easily swayed by money. And if the heart is deficient, it is easy to be led by the nose with money.

Mr. Zhang Defen said, dear, there is no one else outside, all crazy behaviors are concentrated bursts that accumulate to a certain degree of inner lack.

It's just that different people have different feelings of deprivation, so they behave differently.

According to Maslow 's hierarchy of needs theory , it can be divided into at least three levels.

is the first, because he has a very strong survival anxiety, he is a workaholic or Grandet , trying to make money but not willing to spend it.

is the second most important, in order to please others and prove that he is worthy. The so-called flaunting of wealth and comparisons are essentially trying to use money to prove their worth in order to gain a false sense of identity. The third layer of

, ​​in order to prove that you can do something, get a great sense of accomplishment from it, and meet the needs of self-realization.

We feel money differently at different levels.


Money is just an inner lens, which reflects the most original, most real, most intense longing and disappointment in people's heart.

In other words, if you want to get to know a person quickly and talk about money with him, you can see from his attitude towards money whether he is lacking or rich.



Money goes to those who have no shortage of love

What kind of scarcity prevents us from building a better connection with money?

The answer lies in your current relationship with money.

Take a look at where your money is going?

Count how much is about love and how much is about fear?

Every penny we spend can best reflect a person's core values. After all, for most people, money is a scarce resource.

If a person thinks that appearance is justice, he will spend a lot of money on appearance, or even take out a loan for plastic surgery.

If a person thinks that work ability is the foundation of his life, he will spend a lot of money to learn.

If a person feels that he should have fun when he is alive, he will spend all his money on eating, drinking, and having fun.

If a person feels that living is suffering, he may only make money and not willing to spend money.

If you feel continuously nourished, you are spending money on love. If you continue to feel anxious, you are spending money out of fear.

Therefore, talking about money is not mundane, but an opportunity to have a deep dialogue with yourself.

Ask yourself, are you ready to make life more abundant? And consciously, let every penny serve to improve the quality of life.

Maybe many people are used to being driven by fear and don't know how to live for love. The easiest way is to observe those who are living freely and abundantly.

such as glass king Cao Dewang.

More money to talk to people like that.

You will find that those who make money easily tend to be rich in their hearts. This is because only with inner strength can they have the energy to toss. Otherwise, you will be busy filling the hole and healing your wounds all your life, where will you have the strength to realize your self-worth?

The money is not earned, it is repaired.

Don't blindly chase money, when your heart is rich and full of love, money will naturally come to youcome.

Curated | Kiwi

Editor | Kiwi