"Dad's Bento is the World's No. 1" is a rather ordinary movie with endless aftertaste. The plot of the movie is also very simple. The heroine Xiaolu's parents divorced when she was in the third grade of middle school, and Xiaolu followed her father (Ojin). Mr.) lived together until his father found out that Xiaolu was malnourished in the first year of high school, and decided to help his daughter prepare lunch boxes and supplement nutrition. In the process, the dialogue and connection between parents and children through cooking were accidentally opened.
Single parents have to play multiple roles by one person.
The marriage has come to an end, and both partners can no longer live together. However, the children left in the marriage cannot end their parent-child relationship like divorce. one of them lives together.
used to talk about co-parenting, which means that both parents can jointly participate in the parenting of their children. If you want to maintain co-parenting after divorce, you need both parents to open up the possibility, so that the parent who does not live can still appear in the child. in life. Regrettably, many couples who have turned against each other at the time of divorce have a hard time building a common sense of parenting together. In the
movie, Xiaolu's parents seem to have broken up peacefully, but there is no plan to share parenting duties. In the past, the living state where the two could divide labor and cooperate no longer appears. The single parent who lives together has to take care of pick-up and drop-off, meals, daily sundries, cleaning, work to make money, etc., each of which has to be time-consuming and physically handled.
Making bento, in addition to taking care of health or feeding children, seems to be a show of heart. Men making bento, no matter in Japan or Taiwan, is not so common. Xiaolu's father is willing to invest, perhaps implicitly trying to prove that he can take good care of Xiaolu alone.
Otherwise, watching him at night, looking up recipes and practicing chopping vegetables, still feels weird. After all, whether it is mother or father, if you are not familiar with cooking, it is very likely that you will give up halfway due to difficulties. My admiration arises spontaneously.
You can find the entrance to connect with your child with your heart
Every time it is lunch time, the time when the classmates accompany Xiaolu to open the lunch box is like a lottery draw, sometimes frightened and sometimes surprised. From only rice and noodles, the side dishes are always burnt brown, the taste is either too salty or unpalatable, to bento box carefully selected and changed to pink, and also matched with colorful vegetables, it tastes amazing. good to eat.
This made Xiaolu hate and don't want to open the lunch box, and then she ate all the food, and even praised her father: "It's delicious, thank you for the hospitality!" I think she fully felt that her father passed through the dishes that were full of changes. , expressing his desire to take care of himself.
When there is a sense of distance between parents and teenagers, some parents will use their own imagination to make bento like Mr. Otsu did at the beginning. Not only do they use the wrong method, the taste and appearance of the dishes are not good, and it is difficult to be accepted by their children. affim. Many times, parents' reaction is: "I'm so busy, and I even help you prepare lunch boxes. I don't know how to thank myself, and I don't like it." In addition to feeling that it's boring, it's easy to get angry that the child doesn't appreciate it, so don't do it. .
However, is it a child who doesn't know how to be grateful? It's like Xiaolu said directly to his father: "If you really want to do it, do it well." Sometimes, although adults want to show their kindness, they have no real intentions. And Mr. Otsu listened to his daughter's words. Begin to ask the opinions of colleagues, understand her daughter's preferences, think from the standpoint of a young girl, what kind of bento is to do well, and repeat the practice.
Yeah, that's what parenting is, over and over again, finding the entry point to connect with your child's needs. Whether it’s the dishes the child likes to eat, the topics they like to talk about, or the videos they like to watch, if they don’t taste good, just fix it. If you can’t talk a few words, just change the sentence pattern. Slowly, when the child really feels that you are not perfunctory , not accusing or reasoning, but when you really want to get close to her/him, you will soften and accept this attention.
is like Mr. Otsu after being affirmed by his daughter, he can't help itExcitedly rubbing the newspaper on the sofa, the joy is beyond words, I think it is a kind of feedback from the child, a gift to the parents, a kind of satisfaction after taking care of the child and being felt.
Later, because Xiaolu promised her boyfriend to make lunch boxes, she made up a lie saying that her classmate was a fan of her father, and she got the hard-won admiration from the young girl, so her father immediately accepted the fan soup from her daughter, for the fans who did not exist. Get a second bento ready. Think about it, parents are really simple and easy to satisfy.
When a lunch box becomes a shared world between father and daughter
Little Green who has a boyfriend and starts to come home late. Facing his father who is preparing dinner and waiting for the door, he leaves a sentence: "Dad, you are annoying!" I think, in the face of a father who is worried about himself and has broken thoughts, but he is reluctant to part with his boyfriend, Xiaolu's impatient tone may be trying to hide the guilt that he doesn't know how to deal with.
Mr. Otsu never thought that this bento might be for his boyfriend, until he was in the office, and he was talking to his colleagues about how his daughter started to ask for a lot of bento? Through the message delivered by the bento, the female colleague reminded that the adolescent daughter may have a boyfriend. However, Mr. Otsu was not aggressive towards Xiaolu's deception. Instead, after inquiring, he showed an attitude of willingness to wait and understand Xiaolu.
Many times, parents start to hide their words in their hearts when facing their children, and it is inevitable to feel lost and want to resist but not admit it. However, adolescence is a process of turning into an adult. If there is no secret, there seems to be no boundary between parent and child and cannot be separated.
Therefore, if you want your child to be able to be independent, slowly leave the parents' side, and give the child a private space in their hearts, it may be another kind of display of love. At this time, bento has become a shared space where the two can communicate with each other.
put a small note in the lunch box, which became a tacit understanding between father and daughter, conveying unspoken care, greetings and gratitude in person, and warming each other. The solid dishes in the lunch box, while filling the stomach, also seem to replace the father's stable existence in this space, healing Xiaolu's lovelorn and lost moments.
Ordinary daily life can describe the appearance of love in detail
Before the end of the movie, Xiaolu went to college. On the first day of school, she helped her father make a lunch box. This surprised and delighted Mr. Otsu. After all, he made bento for his daughter and did not expect the child to give back in the same way. But if the child feels it, it is like Xiaolu's actions, telling that he agrees with his father's way of taking care of him, not only feeling his father's love for him, but also wanting to love his father like this.
Parent-child daily life, in such a subtle life, like ink dripping into water, slowly smudged. The person who takes care of them is not just hard work, but being able to take care of their loved ones and feel that they can support their children's growth may be the source of motivation for Mr. Otsu to be able to make lunch boxes uninterruptedly for three years.
Nowadays, many parents are worried that the resources they can give their children are not enough, they cannot participate in different talents, and they cannot satisfy their children's material desires, but in fact, what really makes children feel love is these things that go beyond material things. Dedicated attention to the child.
In addition, after some parents take care of their children, they often hope to get feedback from their children, such as being considerate of their own labor or helping to share the housework. If the child does not take specific actions, he will feel disappointed, but it will easily make the parent and child fall into tension. Parents feel that no one understands that they are bulls and horses, and children feel wronged. Why do they have to do something to show that they have received their parents' love.
After all, wanting to drink milk, craving for company, and needing someone to respond to these needs is not the result of children deliberately looking for ballasts. Perhaps parents have to think about whether they are willing to bear these loads at the beginning of raising their children. And the way the child expresses love is sometimes not always the same as that of the parents.The appearance of waiting, after all, the flow of love often occurs invisibly, and perhaps both parents and children are worth experiencing in life.
As for dad's bento, why is it number one in the world? Because that is a lunch box that is exclusive to oneself, exclusive to the love between parents and children. I think that if parents and children can find a world, it is not necessarily a lunch box. It can also be a kind of exercise, a certain interest, and a specific way of dialogue. As a space for mutual communication, it carries the love of parents and nourishes the hearts of children.
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