"Splendid Star": Why did Cheng Shaoshang forgive Xiao Yuanyi, but he refused to forgive Mrs. Cheng?

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After reading "The Splendid Stars", I understand how much the cost of growth is. In the past, the girl who was worthy of retribution became deeply thoughtful, and she could no longer see the innocence and smile on her face.

Shaoshang grew up with pain and tear, apart from the unforgettable love with Ling Buya, the poor treatment of her family, the dislike of her mother, and all kinds of things that fell on her were indelible pains.

Xiao Yuanyi left Shao Shang for fifteen years. When she came back, she found that her daughter had been rudely trained by Ge Shi. Not only did she not feel bad for her, but she disliked her daughter and turned to treat Ge Shi's daughter as a daughter.

in the scene of farewell in front of the city gate, she cried and parted from her father, Xiao Yuanyi hugged her in her arms to comfort her, while Shaoshang who was standing beside her was full of loneliness.

Shaoshang and Chacha's maid compete for the desk, Xiao Yuanyi gently scorns Chacha's maid Lianpu, but severely reprimands Shaoshang's maid Lianfang.

I understand parents' expectations for their children, and I also understand the helplessness of hating iron. But the premise of expectation is that parents have careful teaching and training to their children.

Looking at Xiao Yuanyi, what did she do?

did nothing, but asked the young businessman to be obedient and well-informed, how ridiculous!

Xiao Yuanyi has lived with Shaoshang for more than a year, and she didn't realize that there was something wrong with her way of education.

Until Shaoshang was abandoned by Ling Bushi, she dragged her seriously ill body into Changqiu Palace to take care of the queen. At the most vulnerable and most painful time, Xiao Yuanyi began to reflect on the fact that the person Shaoshang chose to rely on was not Xiao Yuanyi, but the queen.

People often remember to cherish when they lose it, it is too late to regret it!

watched Shao Shang's carriage enter the palace, Xiao Yuanyi chased after him, stood outside the palace gate with tears in his eyes, and shouted loudly, "Curly, grandma is wrong..." Pray for your forgiveness. But at that time, Shao Shang was no longer the little girl he used to be, and he longed for his mother's attention and love in his heart.

Under the care and care of the queen, the desolate place in Shaoshang's heart was warmed.

When others treat me sincerely, I will sincerely repay;

Shaoshang is such a girl. Therefore, she entered the palace without hesitation.

Five years later, the queen passed away and Shaoshang came out of Changqiu Palace. Back at Cheng's house, Xiao Yuanyi personally cooked sweet cakes for Shao Shang. She hoped that her daughter could see her change and that she would forgive her wrong education back then.

In the end, Shaoshang and Xiao Yuanyi shook hands and made peace. It took five years for the warmth of mother and daughter, this is probably a happy ending!

But as soon as the camera turned, the young businessman brought the sweet cake to Mrs. Cheng, standing outside the door and heard the heartfelt words of the eldest mother, she blamed herself for the harsh treatment of the young businessman. However, Shao Shang did not enter the house because she did not know how to face the eldest mother.

Seeing this, many people don't understand why the young businessman can forgive Xiao Yuanyi, but he refuses to forgive the eldest mother?

01. Reasons to stay

Why does Mrs. Cheng want to stay young businessmen? On the surface,

listened to the words of the old god and left the child to protect himself from disasters. In fact, he left the young businessman to take care of Xiao Yuanyi in the future.

From the very beginning, Mrs. Cheng was deeply dissatisfied with her eldest son Cheng Shi marrying Xiao Yuanyi, and felt that she was a second-married woman who was not worthy of Cheng Shi's sincere treatment of her.

saw that Cheng Shi was obedient to his daughter-in-law after getting married, ignoring her mother, and she was angry in her heart. So, she put ShaoxingI stayed here to show Xiao Yuanyi some color.

However, she never imagined that she had a conflict with Xiao Yuanyi's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but had to bear it with a newborn granddaughter. Of course, this also includes Ge's jealousy towards Xiao Yuanyi.

If it wasn't for Madam Cheng's connivance, how could Ge Shi dare to abuse Shao Shang? How did

spend his childhood as a young businessman?

Shaoshang played with the neighbors' children, and was ridiculed as a child without parents.

How would the neighbors know if these words hadn't been spread secretly by Gurdji?

Shao Shang took the candy sent by his parents and almost ate it in his mouth, but was maliciously thrown on the ground and smashed by other children.

If there are family members to take care of, how can the neighbor children bully like this?

was bullied outside and had no family to protect him. When he got home, he had to deal with Ge's various plots.

If you don't obey, you will have no food, and in severe cases, you will be sent to the village to starve for several days. Euphemistically, it is called training, but it is actually taking the child's breath away.

In the original book, the real Cheng Shaoshang has been starved to death. And the initiators of all this are Mrs. Cheng and Ge Shi.

If Ge Shi is the culprit, then Mrs. Cheng is a condoner.

Mrs. Cheng could have prevented the tragedy, but she didn't.

not only did not stop, but also allowed Gurdjit to bully her.

So, how could Shaoshang forgive the eldest mother?

That's a lingering pain!

Psychologist Adler said: "Fortunate people use childhood to heal their whole life, and unfortunate people use their whole life to heal their childhood."

In the next five years, Shaoshang would rather hide in Changqiu Palace for healing than go back It's not that she is indifferent at home, but that there are no warm memories for her in that home.

When people are vulnerable, a bad word may become the straw that crushes them.

, as a bystander, can easily accuse others of being unkind from the commanding heights.

Compared to forgiveness, are those hurts worth ignoring?

02. Unfeeling is the confession to herself.

lived in Changqiu Palace for five years. Young merchant's cousin got married, and her brother married and had children. She never returned home.

In her opinion, the Cheng family has long lost her place, and the excitement and noise have nothing to do with her.

When she came back to Cheng's house again, Xiao Yuanyi showed her concern for her, and Mrs. Cheng showed her heart and lungs to repent.

Although there is no plot of Mrs. Cheng's attitude change in the play, but after being imprisoned from Cheng's family, Shao Shang ventured out of the palace to save Cheng's family in distress. It can be speculated that the old lady probably felt sympathy for Shao Shang at that time.

But what's the use of repentance?

A light "I'm sorry", is it worth the pain of more than ten years?

is ridiculous.

Professor Li Meijin once said: "People who have not been treated kindly since childhood often don't know how to treat others kindly when they grow up."

Cheng Shaoshang is the same.

Because of Mrs. Cheng's stubbornness, Shaoshang and Xiao Yuanyi were separated for fifteen years. In the fifteen years she has grown up, she has never felt loved, and even her grandmother who has a bond of flesh and blood has never treated her kindly. How do you make her treat others kindly?

Why don't you regret it, you can be forgiven and ask others to treat each other with love.

No matter how sincere Mrs. Cheng's repentance is, Shaoshang will never forgive her.

is precisely because of not forgiving, that is to face up to his own injury. Only by facing up to your own injuries can you be worthy of the injuries and pains you have suffered.

Some people say that if you don't forgive, you will trap yourself in hatred, and you will not be able to reconcile with yourself.

's reconciliation with himself is not based on the premise of forgiving others and making himself wronged, but the pain is still there, but he no longer feels sorry for himself.

faced the pain and walked forward bravely. In the end, I learned to protect myself and learned to love myself.