"I want your mother, I miss your mother..." Half a century ago, the song "Looking for Mother in Thousand Miles" spread to every corner of the streets of Hong Kong.
And the singer of this song is "Taiwan's first child star" - Ji Baoru .
More than 200 TV series, more than 30 movies, 4 albums... Ji Baoru is a big celebrity in the entertainment industry at a young age.
But who would have thought that behind the glamorous front of the stage, Ji Baoru was helpless to be sniped by fate.
On the chair in that small clinic, the doctor and nurse forcibly separated Ji Baoru's legs and stabbed her knee with a needle.
These fears, Ji Bao has no one to tell, let alone mention it.
Grandma (grandma) said, that is to prevent Ji Bao from growing like a needle.
Ji Baoru didn't dare to resist, that was the secret that kept her at 1.49 meters.
"My songs are for others to listen to, and they can't comfort me."
's destiny made Ji Baoru's life go slow and bumpy.
01. Destined childhood is always precarious
In 1962, in an ordinary businessman family, a pair of twins fell to the ground.
, one son and one daughter, seems like a "good" word today. But in Hong Kong at that time, this represented two completely different destinies.
Under the shackles of traditional thinking, girls represent the destiny of being abandoned.
Before she could remember her mother's taste, Ji Baoru, who was still in swaddling clothes, was sent to her grandmother's house and began to live a life under the shelter of others.
Ji Baoru's mother is an adopted daughter, so her grandmother is very cold to her. Ji Baoru took every step hard and lonely after the recollection.
saw that the children were eating lollipops, she could only stand at a distance and drool;
saw that the children were playing games in a circle, she could only rub the corners silently;
watched When the children all have new clothes to wear, she can only pick up old clothes that others don't want...
's grandmother's education level is not high, and her mood is even more uncertain. If something goes wrong, she will vent on Ji Baoru.
Over time, Ji Baoru has developed the ability to observe words.
In this dark time, Ji Baoru's world also flashed a bright color.
That's a very good-looking, graceful woman.
She took a stack of money to her grandmother, touched Ji Baoru's head, and disappeared in a hurry.nautical miles.
Who is that? Such questions always lingered in Ji Baoru's mind.
Ji Baoru learned that she was his biological mother after several inquiries.
It was her first time to carve her mother's face into her heart so seriously.
The lack of family affection makes Ji Baoru's heart even more empty. Just as Ji Baoru complains that God has closed all the windows for her, a path that decides her life gradually emerges in front of her.
On that day, Ji Baoru followed her grandmother to Ji's house to ask for living expenses.
Grandma (grandmother) , who loves money like her life, just found out that a director is recruiting young actors. Seeing Ji Baoru's cute and cute face, she decides to take her to give it a try.
director's audition requirement is "Ten Seconds to Cry".
When the other party mentioned: "If you don't have a mother, what would you do?"
For a while, Ji Baoru's longing for her mother was finally vented openly, and her tears poured out like broken pearls . The unadorned truth revealed that Ji Baoru stood out in the selection. The director of
immediately stunned: "It's you!"
Since then, she is no longer the "broom star" that everyone dislikes, but "Taiwan's No. 1 child star" Ji Baoru.
In front of the camera, she is familiar with every role she has played who lacked love since childhood, because in Ji Baoru's heart, that is the other self who is connected with her destiny.
She is truly gifted.
filming invitations one after another, so that Ji Baoru's spare time is fully arranged, and even the time to sleep has become a luxury, not to mention the time to arrive at school for a semester.
Just when her acting career was flourishing, Ji Baoru gradually realized that school life had become out of reach.
When reading the script, she can't even read the most basic words; compared with her peers, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division can only be counted to less than 100 places, and even before the exam, someone will lay out the test paper and answers in front of her , she just needs to copy it on the test paper.
Ji Baoru is like a machine at the mercy of her grandmother. She thought she could gain the love of her parents by being obedient, but she did not know that her grandmother was "seeking another business opportunity" for her.
Grandma took Ji Baoru to a private clinic, forcibly injected her with growth-inhibiting drugs, and tightly restrained her chest with a wrap... She accepted it all with tears.
But even so, that icy home was never warm to her, she just jumped from one fire pit to another.
Since she moved back to Ji's house, she and grandpa and grandma have been crammed into the same bed. When she was not filming on weekdays, she was locked in a small house with only a urinal to meet her physical needs.
Ji Baoru never had the chance to share a room with his parents.
Since I can't get what I want, why am I living such a prison-like life? A seed of rebelliousness is quietly in Ji Baoru's heartroot.
02. It looks like a redemption of love, but is betrayed by her husband
As she grows older, Ji Baoru obeys her grandmother's arrangement and transforms into a singer.
When she was 13 years old, she sang "Ten Thousand Miles to Find Mother", "White Dove", "The Mountain Outside the Sunset Mountain" and other works. Ji Baoru in front of the stage became more and more successful.
Grandma saw that Ji Baoru could sing so successfully, so she received many commercial performances for her in nightclubs.
Every time he comes home tired from the nightclub, Ji Baoru is always thinking, when will these days end?
Soon, a man appeared in Ji Baoru's life.
The man named Yu Long is a frequent visitor to the nightclub. Unlike other guests who pretend to laugh and make fun of the scene, Yu Long's maturity and stability quickly caught Ji Baoru's attention.
In Yu Long's body, Ji Baoru tasted the feeling of being respected and loved for the first time. Ji Baoru, who had never experienced warmth, fell into Yu Long's gentle village uncontrollably.
Ji Baoru felt that Yu Long was the savior who took him out of hell.
She couldn't wait to have a home, and even wanted to have a child for him, when Ji Baoru was not yet 18 years old.
When she informed her family about the pregnancy, as expected, she was opposed by the whole family. Ji Baoru, who has always been submissive, took 200 yuan and flew away with her boyfriend.
In just half a day, they formed a family and entered the marriage hall. Ji Baoru felt that his life had finally come to an end.
But it wasn't until the moment when she gave birth to prematurely that Ji Baoru knew that God's test for her was far from over.
During the whole pregnancy, Ji Baoru had never taken an ultrasound, she was too afraid that it was not a boy in her stomach.
As a result, when the child was born, although it was a boy, he suffered from "congenital gastroschisis" due to incomplete development. Dr.
explained that if a mother is too young at the time of childbirth, it greatly increases the risk of the child's disease.
willfully give birth prematurely, Ji Baoru should have thought that he will bear the unknown consequences.
For a while, gossip flooded Ji Baoru's world, and she had no way out. She regarded Yu Long as the "last straw".
In the next four years, Ji Baoru never dared to get pregnant. The husband and wife worked together to run a restaurant, and the business became better and better.
Ji Baoru also began to have children, and the family lived happily. But before a few years of happy life, Ji Baoru's marriage suffered a heavy blow.
Once got up in the middle of the night, Ji Baoru heard her husband whispering in the study. On the other end of the phone from
, there was a weak and coquettish female voice, and Ji Baoru instantly understood the dodge in her husband's eyes during this time.
Anger, grievance, and unwillingness, all the complicated emotions wrapped Ji Baoru out of breath. She hit the corner of the table with her head, and blood kept dripping on the floor, which was terrible.
During that time, the family business was not well managed and suffered a lot of losses. The mother-in-law even blamed Ji Baoru for the losses in the stock market.
Husband cheated, mother-in-law made things difficult, and her-in-law's family couldn't stay any longer.
She packed up overnight and fled the house, which had turned cold.
She said: "I will give up all of my family." Just like the decision when she eloped with Yu Long.
At that time, Ji Baoru already had three children.
However, the rope of fate has invisibly twisted Ji Baoru and Yu Long together.
Yu Long came to apologize but was repeatedly rejected by Ji Baoru. For a time, his inner anguish had nowhere to resolve, so he drank in a KTV to get drunk.
Who knows, KTV accidentally caught fire, and the ruthless fire took Yu Long's life.
My mother-in-law lost her beloved son. She found Ji Baoru, pointed to her nose and said, "You are the one who killed my son!" Yu Long's unexpected death became an unspeakable pain in Ji Baoru's heart.
To feed her children, she goes to a hotel to be a mother.
Pushing the cup again and again, she suddenly saw Yu Long's figure appear in front of her, just like when she first saw it. After
sobered up, Ji Baoru couldn't accept the cruel facts, so she sentenced herself " to death " again and again by suicide.
"I can't save myself as a mother."
Yes, I can't even take care of myself, let alone treat children well. After
came home drunk, she beat and scolded the children. Over time, the eldest son suffered from bipolar disorder and used violence to vent his dissatisfaction with his mother; the second son took drugs and sold drugs, and Ji Baoru personally sent him to prison, only the youngest daughter became Ji Baoru's spiritual comfort.
Ji Baoru feels that she has lived as the grandma of her childhood, and the children are like the miserable self at that time.
The psychologist Seidz once said: "People are like porcelain. Infancy is like the clay for making ceramics. What kind of education is given, what kind of prototype will be formed." Passed down to children by blood.
03. The shortcut to get out of misfortune is to reconcile with oneself
I do not know how long I have been stubbornly fighting against myself, Ji Baoru's life took a turn for the better in 2004.
Introduced by a friend, she began to approach the church. In the church, she listened to the faithful prayers, and Ji Baoru suddenly became enlightened at that moment.
She suddenly realized that she had a lot of love, and Ji Baoru started life anew after her mind was freed.
She wants to try her best to make up for everything she owes in the past 12 years. Fortunately, God is willing to give her a chance.
everything is slowly getting better, the eldest son's illness is gradually getting better, the second son is also doing well in prison, she also took the initiative to cross the bottomless gap between herself and her family.
"Maybe I didn't have enough love before, that's why you want to love others every day." Ji Baoru began to learn to give.
Ji Baoru learned to accompany his eldest son with all his heart, learned to stabilize his emotions, and tried his best to mend the cracked parent-child bond; Ji Baoru also often visits his son in prison.
"To put a broken life back together again, we must pick up the pieces bit by bit and find our self-worth bit by bit."
Ji Baoru joined the Taiwan Quality Life Association and began to embark on the road of public welfare.
Nursing home elderly, single-parent families, elderly people living alone, and retarded children, Ji Baoru handed them an olive branch.
Because he has been in the rain, he always wants to hold an umbrella for others.
She also focuses on people with disabilities to help them out of loneliness.
In the repeated love and redemption, Ji Baoru gradually understood the meaning of life: the end of man is the beginning of God.
In 2012, Ji Baoru's autobiography "Love, Reverse Victory" came out. In the book, she faced her own suffering and shared her story with everyone who was suffering, and the power that Ji Baoru conveyed deeply shocked every reader.
Facing the hardships is the first step for Ji Baoru to begin to heal.
In 2015, the TV series " Pearl Life " was put on the screen. This is the story of Ji Baoru. She played the role of the grandmother who was most afraid to face in her childhood.
Ji Baoru used her own way to slowly break down the suffering that was weighing on her heart.
has no previous experience of suffering, and it is difficult to achieve Ji Baoru, who is now reborn from ashes.
Suffering is a double-edged sword. This time, Ji Baoru finally did not use the blade to stab himself again. Ji Baoru, who made peace with suffering, finally has the ability to perceive love.
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